₦airaland Forum

Expired

Expired

Same way he released the names of those on GEJ snipper list.

chai see wetin people PVC put them. Continu

Ah 68 ah ah baba mi. Make I go calculate an again

chocberry:
Wrong, it was on front page first thing this morning, as newer topics makes front page,older ones are pushed down

I see

I am deeply surprised that this topic did not make front page. Please can someone enlighten me on nairaland front page policy.

.

Ah baba this means you are behind schedule oooo

Johnnyessence:
how did you know? I hope you know that they are not the same. some think deeply.

Trust me if he writes that stuff even the girl will be disappointed in him as man. That humans are higher animals does not stop them from being animals. And the supreme law of the animal world is survival of the fittest, no woman wants to procreate with a weakling. This is why supposed bad guys get the good girls. A girl might in a discussion tell you she would love such a guy that writes such but the reality is quite different, she can never love such a man she can only pity him.

[quote author=Johnnyessence post=65142804]it is not a trap. it's form of correcting him. [/quote

A woman's mind does not work that way.

A competition is not the right place for a coach to dispose the athlete of his batton and then run his race. A coach seeks to provide guidance and not destroy the confidence of the athlete. Taking the Batton means he has failed and he would react and hate you as a coach.

A car cannot have two drivers, you can only have the driver and his first-mate or driversmate. If another driver would interfere with the driving of your car it has to be with your consent. Nobody is allowed to shout "drive to ikorodu" and you start driving if ikorodu is not your destination. If the drivers mate sees there is traffic in the route, he tells the driver and they talk about it. You don't tell the driver of your former car to talk to the driver of the car that you are in. If the car is running low on fuel the driver is able to see it and look for fuel. But then If the driver looking at his dash board knows that the fuel in his tank can take them to where they are going but the driversmate doesn't seem to share his view there is such a thing called the benefit of doubt. If they cannot reach an agreement then a time might come when driver and driversmate might have to pathways.
There are times where even danfo drivers transfer passengers from their buses to another one because the bus is bad. But it is usually the decision of the danfo driver and his conductor not the driver of another danfo.
To all the ladies out there please do not join a vehicle that is driven by a driver you do not trust and for guys don't take a drivers-mate that have no confidence in your driving at least for the sake of your passengers please don't. If you have passengers already you must ensure that they get to their destination safe and sound, please don't leave your passengers stranded. They will not forgive you.

ivolt:
The problem I see with the OP is that he expected a command and control marriage where
he issues orders that must be followed. There is nothing wrong with this mindset, however,
those with the above mindset should endeavor to marry women who they are sure will be
"submissive", which are often those whose survival depends on the husband. It is easy to
think that the challenges OP went through was because his in-laws were rich but this isn't
necessarily true.
Many parents who are way poorer than the husband still exert undue influence
in their daughter's home. A wife would seek her parent's advice when she doesn't trust
the husband and he has shown signs of being unreliable. Otherwise, most wives would
pretend everything is fine even if it is not.

The OP advised that men avoid marrying from a rich home, but I think that is an incomplete
advice. Men who don't want their ego bruised should marry below their means, so they can
exert their power with money and ensure they keep their wives dependent forever lest they "tear eye".

I disagree, it has nothing to do with him being an egotistic dictator, did you read about the attitude during visits. His kids were not out of school all he wanted was live within his means and there is nothing wrong with that. A man is the head of his home and should be able to make key decisions on the direction of his family. A woman should not marry a man in whose leadership skills she does not believe.

Belafonte:
This reason is why I'm eager to share my relationship experience with as many men as I can. We, men, have been hoodwinked with romance and love as the basis for a good marriage when, in reality, nothing could be further from the truth.

Women can be as calculating and manipulative as Eve and Jezebel combined and often are, yet we are admonished to enter into relationships with them in innocence. I have decided never to be so foolish as to have a Registry wedding or put a spouse as next-of-kin in any documents. What men don't understand is that we are super disposable, especially in this era of women's rights and feminism.

I won't treat any man's daughter unfairly or with meanness but I will definitely protect myself from any eventualities. Trivia is lucky his finances picked up, so many men haven't been so lucky and they have nothing but bitter tales to tell.

When a woman starts mentioning love, my spider senses just start tingling. They seldom have any idea what the word means.

Men are not well equipt with what they need to know before marriage and are usually silent victims that end up in gallows. The story struck a hard cord and my advise to all guys is not to trust any confession of love that have not been tested and proven by adversity. Avoid the slay queens they have nothing to offer.

Belafonte:
He's right in this regard. However, I would like to add that it's not that she doesn't love you, it's just that she doesn't love you the keys you think she does or should. Women do not love like men do, and I would be willing to out good money on the fact that whatever tensions you faced from her parents when things looked bad argelyy, if not wholly, originated from her mother. Her father might have just gone along to keep the peace with his wife or may not have even known some of the moves his wife made.

If it's okay, I would like to send you a mail, totally relating to this topic, of course.

Most men can relate to this and it is the silent reason for most seperation and most ladies see nothing wrong with it. They will openly pick their fam over you and expect you to pick them over your fam which some men can easily balance out. But then he starts getting cold cos he cannot tell his wife that he has been insulted and belittled by her fam and siblings. Hard knock life.

Another president will accept it in future. Let him be

It is trap if you write it you would have proven your need for her which to you is cute but you will never have her because you would have proven to her that you have no balls. Instead walk away and don't look back and you will be shocked to see her in front of you.

The Nigerian union is a burden on the South. A huge burden.

What you guys don't get is that Nigerians don't care. Military beginning to seem like a self serving murderous organization.

The killing machinery up north is a creation of their own elite, at least don wanny or what ever his name is and many like him have been killed down south but in the north the story is different. You cannot cover up for criminals because you share same faith and culture and expect not to bear the consequence of your choice, kabiru sokoto and other boko haram members comes to mind. People shout down south when such things take place because they believe in the sanctity of human life but up north you will hear the elite defend and cover these people and then someone expect the people of the South to shout because people were killed up north? That won't happen. The northern elite has succeeded in destroying what ever goodwill that southerners have for their brothers up north. Is it the IPOB east that will raise alarm for the killings up north or the Niger delta avengers south or the OPC west. You will see that the machinery of government have caused hate between Nigerians so much so that when people are killed in one part it practically means nothing in other parts, especially when it seems like the victims have once rejoiced over the killings in other parts (most people in order parts were happy when government forces ravaged IPOB in trying to fulfil the boast made by elrufai when an Ibo heading the army was killing boko haram terrorists, they even proscribed the group just to repay Nigerians for calling boko haram terrorists). What all this will teach the common man is that the elite will always be safe and the poor will always be unsafe unless we rise up to call evil and injustice by its proper name and rebuke the perpetrators who ever they are and where ever they come from.

Trivia:
They say events come at you either as blessings or lessons. My marriage has been half of both. I married from a relatively richer family, and I must add that the fact that my wife came from a wealthy family, had absolutely no influence on my choice. I met her when her parents were not as wealthy as they would later become, and we were in love. At that time, my parents gave me a ‘mid-budget vehicle’ shortly after my graduation from a state University in Nigeria. And so, even though my father was not Dangote, he could afford quality life and education for his children. My wife’s parents over the years ascended in wealth and riches, and our wedding was relatively big. Dowry from her side of Nigeria was expectantly high, and I paid it with relative ease.

Fast forward to seven years afterwards, when as a man your financial apron-strings to your parents has had to be cut even before leaving your parents’ house, as you make your way for yourself. I have come to learn that these apron-strings are easier to cut for a man than they are for women, especially women from comparatively well to do backgrounds, and hence the troubles for the unwise woman in this situation.
Leaving the comfort of my father’s house in Ibadan, I could afford a mid-income apartment in a sub-urban part of Lagos, with few house gadgets and facilities. My business was doing great, and even though not luxury, our living was comfortable. But then, comfort is subjective, for no matter how much sacrifices I put into stocking my abode with items to ensure comfort for my wife, she and her parents always believed I could do better. They rarely visited, and when they did, would sit in a corner with their noses in the air, and as they leave shortly I would swear they will take a long bath in hand-sanitizers when they got home. Nonetheless, I did do better, and over the years things went on fine at the expense of my personal self-care.

And then came that family-finance stifling recession. You assure yourself that things would be fine, and all you needed to do was double your hustle. Hustle doubled, and results reduced. Bills increased, and nagging followed suit. I have found out that a woman’s nagging on her husband could either be overt or covert. I’d take the overt nagging any day, over the quiet and obvious discontent. At least with the expressed discontent, you can target your financial attention. No matter how much you try, her communication reduces and you know why. She starts visiting her parents more often, and discussing financial choices with them. They start dropping hints into her bank account. She starts paying some bills and buying ‘luxury food-items’, but you cannot complain, even though you know where the money came from. Yet you double, nay, triple your hustle and hope for better days.

And that’s when the problems started- A classic case of he who pays the piper. Her parents start giving instructions without consulting you. It starts with suggestions, and then downright directives on how your home should be run. But you are the man of the house and you direct otherwise. Short of them laughing at your effrontery, they are infuriated that you dare overrule their wishes. Who are you? You observe the gradual disappearance of your wife’s respect for you, while you notice that her parents don’t even factor your presence in any equation. You are vilified, and your wife is torn between obeying her parents’ wishes and abiding by your directives.

I give you an example. This here school is where my children will go, because that’s what I can afford and they are happy in this school, you say. And the response through her, of course because they don’t call you directly but speak to your wife. They say, ‘what? That school? Okay, find a better school in your neighbourhood and let us know how much it costs.’ You get to know about this when your wife starts hunting for a new (expensive) school. I can’t afford that for the two of them, you say. ‘Don’t worry,’ she responds. ‘Mummy said she will pay for it.’ Now, domestic violence is a big matter to the state government and the news is rife with men sent to jail for wife battery. Otherwise, you would have sent those series of slaps in quick succession, enough to wipe her make-up clean off and change her phone network. Besides, if you had done that, her parents would be glad to take her back in their huge mansion, while you battle for your children’s custody or even access to them. Since you can’t react, you swallow your anger and put your foot down, albeit tenderly.

But things did change for the better part of 2017, far better than before, and during the festive season you conveniently sent bags of rice and vegetable oil to them. Occasionally, you send recharge cards and cash, no matter how small to them, while maintaining your physical absence. You can now restrict your wife’s visit to them. I must add, that the respect has grown tremendously, and hilariously too. Now they call for permission before they send her on errands. Now their calls always go unanswered because I am busy, and they graciously understand, and just wanted to check up on you.

Lessons: In family relationships, money is important. Your love is noticed when supported with money. Maintain your respect with strategic absence. Money used strategically buys your wife's (and in-laws) respect. Teach your wife to always reveal lesser information than necessary; the less you reveal to people (in-laws) about what goes on internally, the better, and more respect both of you get. There can only be one captain in a ship, and as a husband you need to put your foot down, sometimes diplomatically. Your ships must sail in one direction, and orders are from only one captain. As much as possible, reduce or eliminate holes in your matrimonial walls, to prevent matrimonial lizards from creeping in. No matter what you are going through, you will go through it. I knew that that phase would pass, and I pray I live to tell this tale to my kids when they are about to get married. Importantly, I have learnt that my boys should pick from a home and not a house with arrogant in-laws with the feeling of entitlement. And if you can avoid it, try not to marry a woman from a wealthy background, unless you can assure yourself of her humility.

I am so happy for you. This is the fate of many men out there. They are practically reduced to almost nothing after matrimony and the painful thing is that don't see it coming until shit hits the fan. But I also know of women who have put their foot down as regards interference from their family and were betrayed by their husbands. Some of them are back to their father's house again. Life can be so complicated sometimes.

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Apination:
It was never about the money, it's a simple case of character which u pointed out at the end. Marriage is between two individuals first before the families, you are married to your wife and not her family and families are not supposed to interfere in ur affairs but intervene which would be as a result of you asking for their assistance if needed. I swear, I would have sent her packing for blatantly undermining me if I were in your shoes cos it's first your decision as to how your children are to be trained based on your available means and then secondly your wife's support in bringing it to light. Comfort though is relative but such relativism is situational and your wife has no excuse as for whatever action she took which did not align with it. Your wife clearly doesn't respect u as a person but only what u can bring to the table, your marriage is simply one of convenience.

You used very strategic and important words (intervene, convenience etc) and I like them. However, sometimes it is not just a matter of character but also a function of family bond and sentiments. Some partners find it difficult balancing matrimonial and biological loyalty not because they want it so but because their family have a tradition of interfering in the homes of other family members and they themselves have been a part of such arrangements in the past and so find it hard not to play along and look like the one that betrayed the family values. This usually alienates the spouse as he or she would have no sense of privacy and always find their every step being scrutinized by in-laws all in the name of protecting the interest of their own. Funny enough this is a common trend today but mostly in homes where one or both partners are from well established backgrounds. If you find your self in this situation the only thing you will think of doing is leave, especially if you don't have experienced advisers that uphold the sanctity of matrimony.
This is where you need to be as gentle as a dove and as wise as a serpent. If you knew better you probably would have changed your mind about your choice of spouse but you are here already, if you seek seperation your kid(s) if you have any would have to live without one parent which is even more difficult. The solution is for you to train and develop your own person by sheding all your dead weights in terms of character, perception and responses. Read books develop your mind and after a while you will find that negative attitude and energy from your spouse, in-laws and everyone will run of your back like water on the back of the duck. At this point you will realise that you will be at peace with yourself and have become a better and a more matured person.

Rule one: Don't put your d***k in nasty.

ubunja:
the funny thing is bachelor guys are the happiest.
cant remember the last time i saw a man with a woman who wasnt stressed.

Women of today make men miss being bachelors I swear.

Who issued the voters cards please

As much as some stories of abuse are true i think many women are just playing very dirty politics with all these stories. Have you observed how most men are being tagged as rapist and gross abusers of women in this generstion. You always only hear the stories online from the perspective of the wife, you hardly ever hear the husband say anything. Thank God the driver in the fapson case told his side of the story. If women think relationships with men is toxic they should boycott and avoid them completely and save us all this trauma but no they won't they are the ones that will still plague the life of their pastors with tears and alnight just because they want to get married to a man that they will accuse of abusing them a few years down the line. I think most modern day women have becom very toxic to the health and well being of the men in their life. A time will come when men will go into contracts with girls for the sake of kids and after 1 or 2 years terminate the contract so that everyone can be in peace, because a man cannot continue sacrificing his health and wellbeing for his family and at the end of the day be reduced to an irresponsible serial abuser.

mccoy47:
Ameachi Iscariot!

Amaechi Iscariot lolz I never hear that one before.I am worried for the man though. He looks and sounds like a lost course

Where is the commissioner for happiness and satisfaction

Make I no type wetin dey my mind before I chop another ban again.

[quote author=johnstar post=64727311][/quote]This picture is epic