₦airaland Forum

Tunagee:
My wife started behaving strangely immediately I lost my job in April 2017. She leaves home to her mum at the slightest disagreement without even communicating or making to express her feelings; and to worsen it, her mum gives her a great welcome with a room and parlour for her to stay, without even calling me to discuss what the problem. Whatever her daughter says is always the final, and she concludes on that.

My wife literarily destroyed my image before my in-laws to such an extent that I can't even visit them again. She tells them i insult her and her parents, and i make negative remarks about them, that i abuse her verbally at the slightest provocation. Several lies against me that I did not allow her travel out, I don't give her money, I told her not to have another kid, that I told her not to work, her mother has decided to keep her with her as I speak without even calling me to discuss, even despite all my appeals. She has been with her mum now for almost ten months(my wife is a fully grown legally married faithful woman of almost 40 years)

All these disrespect, probably cos I lost my job two years ago of which I fulfilled all responsibilities to the home. i don't drink, i don't smoke, don't womanise(even till now) I have never beaten her, I never another child out of my matrimonial home, and never impregnated another woman.

Rather than resolve her marital problem by discussing with her husband, she takes it to her family claiming emotional abuse. Fine, I agree I get provoked cos of her persistent shortcomings, and of course, frustration which leads to unguided vocal utterances towards her, but this could have been resolved easily without having to involve her whole family. Now what she keeps telling my family is that her family said she should still hold on at her mum's place. This is the 10th month since October 2018.

The last time my mum went to her mum's house precisely June last month, she was asked if she was still interested in her marriage, and she said yes, that she does not intend leaving her marriage; but we should give her time. Her mother practically told me to go and do something meaningful, and that there is time to marry, separate, reunite and hustle. Her mum is the one controlling her movements and everything about her for now; not even giving her room to give me audience.

Pls advise on what to do.

We are legally married.

I have one simple advise for you. - Maintain your calm. Don't call her again, don't beg her and her mother, just continue hustling to re-position yourself in life. In a year or two, you would have had a lot of deep introspection and re-discovery of yourself. Within this period, you will get answers to your question like;

1. If she will come back, will it be after you have financially recovered? or before? and what does that tell you about how she values you?
2. If she doesn't come back, what does it mean to you, and how will you forge ahead in life

Most importantly, take care of YOU at this stage. Check your vitals regularly. Embark on new personal projects. Don't look at your age, volunteer to be an apprentice in a good business - 3yrs later you should be trading on your own. Even if is a simple business of going to buy agric produce in the north and sell down south. Rebuild yourself.

CaptainMitch:
I dont support verbal or emotional abuse, give her time to heal, marriage should be based on love not forced. Try to improve your income we all know money brings respect

1. This is the one of the notion that promote ills in families and society. If the wife claims emotional abuse, I probably will empatize, but to premise her staying in marriage on financial condition of the husband? Such a woman does not deserve to be in marriage.

2. My brother, respect "earned" by money is not respect, in fact it is sycophancy

daddytime:
Your whining, lack of balls but enough mouth to engage your wife in a needless banter is the reason why she and her mother have got zero respect for you, my brother.

If you could, just ignore them and forget the so-called wife with her mom.

Na dem go begin beg you say Eleru, wa gberu re o

1. This to me is the most pragmatic approach.
2. Give a deadline. If she does not take it.... tell her to know that from that point you've moved on, even if you're not going to get married immediately

Fountainofyouth:
Honestly this is sad, from all your write up, the problem started when you lost your job, meaning all was fine before then, meaning you enticed her with money when you both started dating, meaning there was never real love in the first place just love for material and financial gain, well,since she is still interested in the marriage, give her more time that she needs, do your part by calling and seeing her not just sending your mum to go there, make steps too towards getting her back cos it's obvious you both still want to be together, all the best.

P.S To all those guys that says "make money first then women will flow your way" this is the end result.

1. Assumption is the mother of all F*ck-ups" - John Travolta
2. You must be skilled in misinterpreting an misrepresenting cases.

Organs:
This is really really sad. About 90% of the folks on this thread i can guarantee you does not understand the question asked and does not understand the answer given and they are here hating and insulting based on their bias. Nigerian youths are truly lazy, stupid and now you can add uneducated to the list. Now, if you doubt me, i challenge all you idiots insulting the CJN to simple describe the question and the answer provided and how the answer was wrong. Lets see who amongst all you lazy idiots currently insulting the CJN can take up the challenge. Now to the few folks who do not understand and are open minded, the CJN clearly defined "Technicalities in law, talked about its origin and clearly explained its applicability in the courts. The CJN also talked about how "Technicalities" can be subject to different interpretations as well as what he as a Judge does and will do in any case that involves "Technicalities". Very brilliant and excellent answer.

Bros,

My shock as well. I've been trying to hold myself, wondering that is NL set up to be substantially populated by i.d.i.ots? Folks of these platform willingly suspend their reasoning and say things that betrays logic. Honestly lots of folks here are intellectually da.ft. and ashamedly m.o.r.ons.

I think a lot of you lot are just like herds, just following the wind and outsourced your reasoning capacities.......... I see nothing wrong in Tanko's answer.

1. First off, the question is a trap, skewed to the context and bias of the asker. If it was to justify an already lost cause (Osun Election) then that in itself is inviting a bias against the CJ. He's a CJ recommended by the NJC. Asking questions about SC judgement made by a panel of 7 judges at his screening in itself sparks moral bankruptcy and pettiness on the asker.

2. You cannot just lift 2 different statements of the supreme Court in isolation and ask "what is the position of the Supreme Courts" without a recourse to the contexts within. If the SC saw a recourse to technicalities in a typical case as a way to evade justice and sees it in another as a breach of court proceedings, what is wrong in that?

3. No wonder, Chief Justice Tanko summarized his answer to a single phrase - "RULES OF INTERPRETATION". As simple as that. It does not even need you to be a lawyer to understand a logic as this.

Olawalesmarter:

Staro: .

The policy worked very well in Anambra under Peter Obi.

Unlike Aregbesola who seized mission schools but could not manage them

I will write off Buhari completely if he appoints Aregbesola as his minister.
A failed governor cannot make a good minister

When it come to infrastructure Aregbesola is the best Governor in the History of Osun State

Stop judging leaders in other region just because of their party affiliate and Rumours

1. I believe a better advice is to tell him to stop judging Aregbesola by the writer's low standards.
2. How can someone whose head is not a trash can alledged that Aregbesola seized missions school

Tolexander:
May God deliver us from the so called “men of God” deliberately misleading their followers.

He wouldn’t tell us that he didn’t go through the whole pages of the passport he was holding.

Actually I'll rather rephrase it that may God continue to enable each individual to use their brains and not willingly outsource it to lesser rational people no matter the god-of-man he appears to be

simplesearch:
The girl don't love you a hoot she's an initiate and will want you to belong as well, her tell tails of cult guys all hitting on her at random is a calculated attempt at instilling fear in you which will lead you to seeking for a way out, of which she'll eagerly sermonise you into joining them and be free, and once she succeeds that's when you'll know she's a member, she'll eventually desert you to prey on other campus newbies. Her show of affection is to get you entrapped like delilah to samson, she's on a mission and so acting out a well rehearsed script, play safe and don't take a fearful leap into an unknown abyss, end the romance as fast as possibly now. However your best at this point is to surrender your life to Jesus AND seek help from some committed christian group on campus, be consistent in your decision and watch her leave you in no time. If you however resort to self help, be sure they'll come after you and once you are found to be defenseless you'll be coerced into joining them. Once this happens be sure your academic life will suffer and your chances of graduating with your head on your neck is 50/50. Jesus is the safe place. PEACE!

I agree

My simple tots and advise to the OP

1. No matter how beautiful and whatever you think you see in her, is not worth it. The kind of girl that only cult guys are interested in suggests to be that she is not "good" girl herself.I don't know how it plays nowadays (I finished my 1st degree in 1999), but back in my days, the odds are that the GFs of cultist are either potential female cultists or female cultists.
2. All ways, you will loose out in this situation. You're either dead already or marked. Even if they will not come after your life, they could maim you (confine you to wheel chair), beat you up in public spaces just to embarrass you and make live miserable for you. At the end of the day, a girl like that you will never be able to satisfy. Please do find yourself a simple and good girl, not a complicated bad-case

marvelous000:
I'm really fighting hard not to insult you, but ask yourself this question; if peradventure, those cultist use you as statistics (kill you). what will become of the girl you're staking your life for? I bet, 6yrs from now, she must have forgotten your name. probably, married to your killer who is a changed man and a born again.
conversely, if you survive. what will be the benefit of it all. pússy? you mean; you want to use your life as quid pro quo for pussy?


My sympathies are with your parent, since you want to waste.

Bros,

It was as if I dictated this to you. If he were to be my aburo, I go wire am slap

ritmek:
My brother run for your life....this life no get part 2 oo

I wonder what other advise he wants?

How many of our local league team have this regime of physical therapy. It will be interesting if they do...

Tomide007:
In the military it has never......in absence of the coas the representative is the chief of policy and planning. So in this scenario the cpp will give instructions to a lieutenant general......things like this encourage anarchy. Do soldiers in absence of the COAS take instructions from the chief of policy and planning which is the most senior appointment or the man with the most senior rank......imagine a colonel in the position of commanding officer.... Or a major who is an adjutant .....ask a friend in the military for his opinion if you don't understand my gist... Thanks.....dont compare civilian with the military. In the military you cant find a senior ranked man with a lower appointment.... If you promote a man in the military, you retire all his seniors with lower rank...eg when buratai was appointed from course 29(regular), all his mates and seniors were retired.... Promoting adeosun without giving him neccessary appointment is wrong..... Their is a man dere who is from course 31 for Christ sake, he should be allowed to go......youre turning the military into a civil service. If a man with a higher appointment gives a order and another with a higher rank gives another then it is the perogative of soldiers to choose who to obey.

From this factual incorrect/false statement... I give up. I didn't even bother to read the rest

Tomide007:
you seem not to get it, his appointment should reflect his rank....... you can't have a senior ranked man with a lower appointment.

What I don't get is your flawed points. This is not the first, it happened in times past. It happens in Civil Service & Private Sector......... so what's your point?

Xisnin:
The Punch management are idiots.
They sacked brilliant editors because some snowflakes expressed outrage over an instructive illustration.
Shame on Punch.

My tots exactly. I don't agree with Abimbola Adelakun's write-ups many a times, but she's a brilliant and talented writer. Secondly, if we allow religious sentiments to becloud and serve as our gauge for public discourse, then we are in for another round of "slavery".

I think Punch is just trying to "protect their Garri"

orazx:
https://pearsbaby.ng/pears-baby-of-the-year-2019/?contest=photo-detail&photo_id=18782. Please we need your votes

I have voted.

**Suggestion**
You will probably get more traction on IG and Twitter

Tomide007:
What is wrong with buhari.......another officer on the same rank with chief of army staff? ...... I think he's going to be announced as COAS. This is weird really.Why pick someone from the 34th course(think so) and make him a lieutenant general knowing fully well that the chief of policy and planning that acts as the second in command to the chief of army staff is still a major general.... How do you expect nomalcy In situations like that...... If you promote someone you had better give him an appointment that will reflect it, that's the best thing to do or else you're encouraging anarchy......and I think he deserves the promotion especially on what he did at maiduguri and commander mnjtf

Is it weird? NO. Buhari promoted Tunde Idiagbon to same rank as he, when he was Head of State. Special promotion is not a new phenomenon. That someone is above him does not matter.

FarahAideed:
Buhari is causing confusion everywhere , what kind of confusing promotion is this na , this is proof Buhari indeed promoted that custom man yesterday to CG like the man claimed

You need to be sent to the same institution the custom man is currently being evaluated

ivandragon:
seem

verb

give the impression of being something or having a particular quality.

You can read & understand right?

A lot of people like you chose to ignore the obvious contradictions in the whole plan...

seems to propose more of the permanent relocation of entire families & cultures into areas with less affinity for those cultures...

So your statement above is obviously a lie/conjecture you made up, there is no statement nor document whatsoever that stated the above...

delpee:
If it's not a Fulani program, why are they threatening everyone? Governor Ganduje invited those who are interested to come over to Kano where there's sufficient space. Niger State governor also said the forest reserve in his state can accommodate a very large numbers of cows. The combination of the two should be sufficient as a starting point. Cows due for sales can be transported to any part of the country.

We also have Sambisa and Falgore forests among others which can be well equipped for the same purpose. Why not maximise the use of those ones before encouraging other states to donate land for a project that they're not interested in?

Are we going to have Ruga for pigs too to suit the needs of some Southern states? Will the pig farmers be given space in the Northern reserves? Afterall it's also livestock.

States/citizens should be allowed to decide what they want. Private farmers already buy land to set up ranches in the South. I don't understand why there's so much noise on a matter that can be easily solved if there's no hidden agenda.

Ruga may be a good project but it's not been well presented nor properly linked to NLTP. That's probably why the VP knows nothing about it.

Madam,

1. The truth is that they are not threatening ANYONE. It is unfortunate that an attempt to resolve the long herder-farmer clashes has been deliberately misconstrued as a threat. There is NOWHERE where the FG has stated that NLTP is a compulsory program
2. RUGA was badly communicated. I'm still trying to put my head around the mis-management of the communication with RUGA. Benue State "gladly" latched onto it with their "victim-cry".
3. We need not make noise and unnecessary distraction over this. Adamawa State has already started the NLTP, no has Niger. Some other states will join. After 3 yrs, these will start making business sense to other willing states and they will join as well. Can it be any simpler?

ivandragon:
Furthermore, the Ruga initiative (under any guise the FG wants to term it) seems to propose more of the permanent relocation of entire families & cultures into areas with less affinity for those cultures...

Of all the conjectures and seeming deliberate mix-up I see in your submission, can you pls point to any place either in the RUGA or NLTP where this was stated? or you decided to make this up?

timecapsule:
Federal government by PMB said that Nigerian youths are lazy.
Federal government should tell state government to provide land for his indigenous youthsfor RUGA or live stock or whatever they may called it not in the other way round. I giving out my land for foreigners, for what?

I hope its not am thinking! Are we ruled by foreigner here in Nigeria?
RUGA or no RUGA, federal government is the herdsmen.

Exactly what the NLTP is about. They are not asking you to give your land to foreigners. They are asking you to provide a land (if you are willing) where livestock value-chain business will be done on a profitable basis. If your youths wants to partake in livestock (cattle, goats, buffallo etc), leather, dairy products, livestock waste-wealth etc. They are asking your state to provide lands where they will spend part of the over N100b they have ear-marked.

You see, we profit nothing if we perpetrate ignorance and lies. In 5-7yrs time, the states that latches on to these would have become an industrial cluster for livestock, inviting foreign investments on a large scale and growing their IGR. All these states that are trying to kill the initiative will join sooner or later they realize the value they stand to gain.

Pavore9:

deomelo: :



Is this not the plan in the first place?


Oh, I forgot you heard from somewhere on the internet that the FG will take your land and ship fulani herdsmen from the North to your states to take over your state.

Funny how people deny themselves economic and job opportunities because of ignorance, bigotry, petty politics, and tribalism.

Can you post a link to a video or a webpage where the FG clearly stated the indigenes of the participating states will be the primary focus.

I don't know in what form you want your answer, but below are facts

Frontline states

T[b]en key states were identified as the frontline states to receive pilot interventions in line with the recommendations of the FMARD and NEC[/b] livestock conference. The states include: Adamawa, Benue, Ebonyi, Edo, Kaduna, Nasarawa, Oyo, Plateau, Taraba and Zamfara. The plan include creation of large ranches in each of these states.

Read more at: https://www.vanguardngr.com/2018/06/fg-rolls-6-point-plan-solve-farmers-herders-crisis/

The above strongly infers that at a prior organized "Livestock Conference", these states agreed to being pilot on the scheme (especially Benue)

Adamawa State already started the NLTP without unnecessary hullabaloo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWHSfLEoGgc

That it is not compulsory was re-stated by the federal govt recently

“NLTP has programmes of rehabilitation of Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs) resulting from the crisis and also development of ranching in any willing state of the federation; the word is willing state of the federation.

“Its beauty is that what NEC and the Federal Government approved is a voluntary programme to all the 36 states which may like to participate.

“So, it is not compulsory; it is for any state that is willing, will key into the programme,’’ he said.

The Governor said that any state interested in the programme was required to bring up a development plan that was keyed towards the implementation in line with the Federal Government’s own programme.

According to Umahi, each willing state is expected to come up with a plan unique to it based on the challenges that it has in respect of the farmers/herders crisis.....

https://thewillnigeria.com/news/nigeria-adopts-necs-national-livestock-transformation-plan-after-dumping-ruga/

yemaldo:

deomelo: :



Is this not the plan in the first place?


Oh, I forgot you heard from somewhere on the internet that the FG will take your land and ship fulani herdsmen from the North to your states to take over your state.

Funny how people deny themselves economic and job opportunities because of ignorance, bigotry, petty politics, and tribalism.

I don't think so , am just seeing this for the first time, fed government never said each state should provide grazing land for their indigenes

When you willfully filter the news you want to hear as against the truth........

Both the Ruga (to me, a misadventure of the Ministry of Agric) and the National Livestock Development program had said from Day 1 that it will it is not mandatory and that willing states will provide the land.

fantasticone1:
Which road? The "ona baba ona" abi? You know he constructed the ota-efun road twice (the one that leads to ofa) and you have no idea how much the man budgeted for a raid that is not up to 20km. Check the Iwo osogbo road, owode-ilesha road, stadium to owode road and many others. Aregbesola is a bad governor and he looted so much money, but no one could challenge him

My Brother,

All me I see na say road dey there. How much did he budget or not is another story. I passed thru GOOD QUALITY ROADS and that is what I still insist upon

Curiously though, how come there is no single fraud/embezzlement report nor allegation on Aregbesola? How come there is not report from opposition to EFCC?

Owaincouncil:
Start on time and your work will judge you for 2nd term.
But how you will pay full salary is my problem now that you will be paying 2 godfathers

Easy.

1. Osun had judiciously used the Paris Club refund to reduce the backlog. Osun was very transparent about the Paris Club refund and was the first state to publish the details about how the funds were spent.
2. Those loans taken by Aregbesola probably past the 60% repayment mark. I will imagine that at this stage, the interest rates will have significantly gone down, thereby freeing up more funds for other use. These are one of the creative means from where the money will come from......

Payment to God fathers? Well, let your imaginations run wild....

NOC1:
Tinubu cousin reigning in Osun, one of the thing that consumed Ambode was not bailing out Aregbesola in time of trouble.

please do and pay the workers, some have died, some fell sick, some lost direction because plans where not actualized.

Aregbesola brought infrastructural development but did not balance it with welfare

In retrospect, I feel a price was paid for a "Quantum Leap" in infrastructure. I was in Osogbo last month, I was pretty much impressed with roads during my 24hr stay, especially the "New Road" through which you can get into and "escape" out of Osogbo without having to go through main town. That has opened up vast areas and a thought that came to my mind is to acquire a parcel for my "Country Home" along the New Road axis.

zoedew:
Serious person. Intentional Governor. Not a bull in a china shop like his predecessor who says he is the godfather of Osun State politics #onlyinyourdream

Bros,

You are not from Osun, You have never been to Osun, You don't know what is happening currently or happened in the past in Osun........Must you comment?

What "China Shop" are you talking about?

semyman:
He is obviously frustrated by the imposition of an outsider that is not leaving anytime soon on the establishment.

**Let's rationalise it***

Tomorrow, will you go and wait at the door of your CEO and tell him order from the president to take over his position?

That guy needs to be physiologically evaluated

partnerbizz5:
Isnt 3 years too far?

And how will he recover all, through processing of palm oil?

My Sister,

1. with a Business that can give you an average of 15-25k per tree per year after 3 yrs.. and trees have a productive life-span of over 15yrs, it is worth the wait
2. How will he recover what? He breaks even and in profit as end of period 3 (all costs factored)

Makaveli1166:
Please I Need Your Opinions On Which Country To Migrate To With I N4m


I have decided to escape from this country in search of a saner climate for work or business.To be sincere i have raised 4million naira only in cash but don't want to invest it here due to unfavorable climate .so as a chemical/petrochemical engineer.Kindly list out 1st world countries i can relocate to and the steps to take to achieve it.
Your kind input would forever be appreciated.

1. Go to your village or a village with cheap lands
2. Use N2m to buy 5+ Acres
3. Go to Mangoro B/S en-route Iyana Ipaja. Ask for the nursery where they sell "Palm-Oil" Palms; specifically the Agric variant. Going price is N250. Transport cost is about N30k per truck-trip
4. Rent tractor & Labour - spend another 100k - 200k
5. Plant about 1000 - 3000 Palm-Oil-trees
6. Thank me in 3yrs