₦airaland Forum

Ishilove:
He is Billyonaire o. Chai, imagine Billy giving marital advice!

Nairaland ehn, una no go kee me

Ishilove:
Oh, the poor woman married to you..

I am sorry for whoever is reading and actually pondering on your outrageous submissions.

Ishilove:
I'm glad to disagree with you. You may think you have the power and I will allow you think you do, meanwhile I am planning very 'terrible things' to unleash on you.

You sound domineering and that brings out the worst in a lot of women, myself included. You have been throwing around words like 'control' and 'manipulate', making you a very dangerous person to be with. Your tone is arrogant and at the same time condescending, and you will make a very tiresome companion.

Women are not chattel. Take note

futurist369:
can I attend your lectures on the universe? I can pay any amount you ask!

blessedaunty:
.

What of in situations the woman shares the bills with woman and the man does not assist with house chores or the man still expects her to be serving him food kneeling down.

UncleJJ:
This how they destroy people's marriages. They copy all sorts of stuff from American blogs and paste it into your life.

He said "wash the plates even if you have a maid" Like WTF

UncleJJ:
This how they destroy people's marriages. They copy all sorts of stuff from American blogs and paste it into your life.

He said "wash the plates even if you have a maid" Like WTF

Tellemall:
But we both know that most men cannot play the second fiddle, therefore they must man up and be the breadwinner or endure the marriages in which they aren't.

Toxic masculinity is forever on display on nairaland. The belief that a woman MUST help a man attain his goals is a wrong mentality that is so common here. Why is it never the other way round? Aren't women humans with dreams, too? You don't marry people so that they can build your dreams (what about theirs?).

You, Martinez, are accommodating because of your life experiences. Some other men desire to sit on that throne and do nothing when there. As you say, each party must respect the other. Nobody is lord over the other.

lilian789:
I bought a car for her and her mother cos of the love I have for her. After our wedding, I now had the chance to have sex with her for the first time her inside was loose in fact I didn’t expect that but didn’t say anything. We traveled to Kumasi(Ghana) for our honeymoon.

Now, this my problem I don’t know whether to divorce her or keep her for sake of love.

Please, I need help!

indigene:
Lets have some preambles.
Femi Otedola, first born?
Aliko Dangote first born?
Goodluck Jonathan first born?
Sir Stan Ekeh first born?
Benjamin Nnamdi Azikiwe Firstborn?
Bukola Saraki First Born?
Late Odumegwu Ojukwu first born?
Rochas Okorocha first born
Donald Trump first born?.
Olusegun Obasanjo first born?
Late Stephen Hawkings, first born?
i am just asking
My humble self, is a first born, managing two companies, 25 employess, 16 dependants
Might be the op eldest brother, at his age of 65 still sits around their mother's cooking stove

Offpoint:
Lol, LMAO.... That nigga piled up a truck full of bullcrap up there.... I can't still he's a guy.

He said "it's the sore responsibility of a man to provide for the family"

then ended up with where it's a must the wife served the man washing hands water ... what manner of fuckery

Tellemall:
Even if you say it a million times, the typical African/Nigerian Man will not understand you and will instead pick fault with you or claim that you are a woman hiding behind a male symbol. I do not know why as men we cannot handle the truth and put aside sentiment on family matters.

From the original post you can see a conceited man who expects his wife to bring him water to wash his hands! What on Earth are we reading here? What happened to his legs and hands and sense? Is this the African men ego or intelligence?

That is the genesis of his problem. He expects to be treated as a baby/tin god by his wife, not realizing the unrealistic expectations he is placing on her. Why does he feel his wife must bring him water to wash his hands to prove that she is a good wife? What expectations has he lived up to if he is always at the receiving end of this compulsory servitude of his wife? He must surely irritate her by being jobless, leaving everything to her and still demanding this fickle thing called "respect as a man".

He's upset that she gave out his number to the school. Sorry, but whose number should they have? Why is it that modern men want to carry the title of men but abscond the responsibility it comes with?

So many men want to be fed and clothed by women, but retain their distant aloof mechanisms for dealing with their families. It is disgusting. Just visit any of these threads and you see men with entitlement mentalities that permit them to think their wife MUST help them financially, spiritually and who knows how else. Oh, FFS.

Many people who disagree with you believe a woman is a robot without her own dreams and is dedicated to the man's dreams. This can never work out because every human has ambitions. Once they can live them out they will never want to get back to that place of no self-worth.

Africans need to change this mindset that they are Kings on some imaginary throne of masculinity. You rarely see a woman complain because she's always the slave while the overlord husband is fault picking.

You sound like a person called oolongtea, I think. All the men vilified him because they are most likely lazy and live off their women.

Filmewell:
He is not. Re_read his post and deduce his personality your self.
My point is he could have simply told his story without playing the victim card. It made him look guilty.

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
These stories should b a lesson. No b to dey shine teeth. His wife his best suited to a rich hard man. All this her behavior no go too show.

Filmewell:
The are very few

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
He can still find happiness though but he'll have to get a better job and earn more or divorce her. I doubt a resetting slap will fix this one.

Viking007:
[s][/s]Long piece of crap.

I honestly can't believe someone sat down to write that nonsense.

Filmewell:
Don't discard the assumption brother. That's why men still call their ex girlfriends after they are married cause the picture becomes clearer after marriage. No pity for such people.

Oyindidi:
So you'll sit back and watch your run you home. I know a man that is like this op, even his children disrespect him.

spiceadole:
What you are experiencing is the irony of life.

Some men have good wives but maltreat them.
Am sure you had 1 or 2 good girlfriends but decided to play them and marry the terrible woman due to selfish interest.

Game on! Endure it!!
Fast and pray!!
There is power in a praying man too

mhd5757:
That is why, I don't want to get married and even if I get a job, I am not going to marry anybody, I am keeping my money to myself and I am not sharing it with any woman.

I tend to live my life and enjoy it the way I want and no woman and a bunch of kids is going to stop me from doing so.

God has already made it clear to me that i am never going to be rich, well I don't mind because I am damn well going to live and enjoy and live my life with the little money I have. Afterall I'm a simple kind of guy, who does not need excess money to live and enjoy life.

DrTee1:
Thank you, Sir.

Kindly permit me to make a few clarifications.

I think that your comments above, which I captioned as some strategic role-playing in a bad marriage are best only for a bad marriage and only for a short period. Indeed, they aren't sustainable on a long term basis. No man can pretend for too long. No human being, especially in marriage, can pretend for too long. Pretence and such deceitful existence are only possible in flings or short-term relationships. In that case, playboys and playgirls would excel.

Also, I personally think that deceit, lies and such falsehood, while they may be fanciful and attractive, are usually unsustainable. To cover one lie, a man or woman needs another 7 lies and on and on. All structures built on foundations of deceit and slothfulness are but friable and cannot genuinely stand the test of time. the test of time in this OP's case is about 5 - 8 years of marriage, that's inferring or assuming that his last child is 2-3 years and he had been coping fairly nicely in marriage until then. so when you say that you could/would take all the women/wives of men who do not follow certain life rules that you have posited, I think you may indeed achieve all that - but for a short period of time.


Eventually, the hen would come to roost and you would find all your strategy, where it involves fiction, lies, deceit and make-belief, to be castles built on sand. The scales would fall off the eyes of the woman eventually and she would either port or begin to misbehave - or the man would dump her before the scales finally fall - thus completing a circle and bringing everything back to square 1.

In essence, I think that while I appreciate all that you wrote in your initial comment which I quoted, I think they are are possibly short term measures for anyone who has lost his job and found himself in a loveless marriage. It wouldn't work for, say Femi Otedola or Akinwunmi Ambode, for example. Where would you expect a successful business tycoon who has a very dutiful and supportive wife to expect her husband to massage her at home on a 300k massage table every day? Or to have sex and tell sweet eyeball-to-eyeball stories thereafter on daily basis?

So in essence, I encourage everyone to be honest and live by upright moral values (at all times) to himself or herself. Deceit/fiction/falsehood might 'win' for a short period, but at the end, 'na' always "God (go) win." Yoruba people say " Ti iro ba sa lo fun ogun odun, ojo kan soso looto yoo ba." When literally translated, that means "Even if falsehood reigns for 20 years, it would take only a day for the lie to be busted and the truth would be revealed."

Like attracts like. For singles out there, if you are good and conduct yourself in a responsible and morally upright manner in your doings, you are unlikely to marry a wolf-like character - except you didn't do your due diligence in dating, or you allowed fanciful things or some blind/illogical spirituality or some inordinate counsel make lifetime decisions of marriage for you. Let each man or woman use his or her brain. Marriage is some real deal and each person would be in it[b] alone[/b] with his/her spouse.

Anything false/untrue/ingenuine/counterfeit, whether in character or action, would never stand the test of time - and it is always important that people planning to go into successful marriages know this. Don't ever go out of your way to impress a lady/man. Be yourself. For every woman, there is a man - and vice-versa. Who sang that song? Adekunle Gold "There is a woman for every man..."

P.S:

For the good lady who picked out only one line of the several lines I wrote to label misogyny, I leave that to posterity to judge. If anything at all, I fully believe in gender equality and affirm that men and women, husband as well as wives, are EXACTLY equal before the law - and the homefront and the general society should be run with that knowledge at the back of everyone's minds. As many rights and privileges as a woman has directly or indirectly, a man should be allowed to enjoy - and women with mental and/or operational capacity should never be denied any placement/opportunity solely on the basis of their distinct gender - and vice-versa.

Elliot2:
There is nothing new under d sun. If Queen Sheeba who also had all the best in d world but still was attracted to king Solomon's wealth n fame,should tell you that that is what life means. It is not materialism, it is common sense. truth is,men are becoming lazier by the day.

FruitCakes:
Hehe i'm pretty certain you can't afford it either ma

Elliot2:
Methink men have only become lazier in providing for women. Our forefathers did more than we do now to impress their women, and that was why they enjoyed them and the women stayed loyal to them. There is nothing materialistic about women wanting the bests in the world;it is simply responsibilities. The problem is,we now have a lot of lazy men who simply want to eat girls cookies without sacrifice s—just by using some boring poetic lines. Life doesn't work that way!

Daeylar:
Lol, my reasons for saying there is a lot of misogyny are clearly stated in the post.

I will even modify and add more.

In addition to what you said, if the husband is the breadwinner let him not insult and embarrass his wife.


I agree with your post. I think along the same lines.

Capensis:
You are an orphan, you are running on a victim mentality and you transfer your frustration on people who have no insulted you. If you do not change, you will fail in life.

I see no reason you go around insulting people who do not insult you. I wish your Dad was alive to train you well, cos you are now a snowflake who has wrong opinions and understanding of Life.

I am not one of the persons you can insult, cos you may never get to my level in life until and except you become humble, and learn not to engage your emotion. It clouds your judgment and makes you look silly.

Be guided.

OmoAlata1:
You sound like those husbands that will emotionally drained their wives. I know your type very well. You can fool others with your poor me victim card post but not me.

Dyt:
but if it was written for the wife
you will gladly applaud it

wehdone sir!!!!

Capensis:
What do we expect from an orphan who was raised with money raised from frying akara.

Hahahahaaha.

This is another reason ladies should not marry poor people from broken homes.