₦airaland Forum

Op. Just KILL him b4 he gives u d almighty AIDS which will kill both of u and leave ur children as orphans! But one one condition, dat u hav neva cheated on him.

Whoever said he or she neva did, one thing is involved. U re nt trusted in d first place to go near baby food! Mine is cerelac, sma gold dat milk na die and glucose-d! Those days. Chai.

Some people get heart oh!

Pukkah: On one hand he is promoting cash-less policy, on the other hand he's making it easier to carry cash around.

What exactly does Sanusi want?

. Bros. I dey wonder oh! D guy{sanusi} is a 'hippopocrite'. Lol

OP. Until he is caught. Relax jor. D guy is d master of d track.

Brazil is really a wonderful place to find some wierd creatures! Anaconda, Shemales, joysticklike-snake, etc wait oh! Could this be a replacement 4 male joystick or Love Machine.e.s to d female folks? Lol. Zee-virtual go close oh!

I wonder why nobdy has recommended that Gej and patience should start fasting cos they eat #1 bilion/year ! Lol

Honeycity: a responsible married woman should know that it total gross to entertain calls from her ex(s)or toasters unless shes sick and tired of her marriage.

. Where is this one comin 4rm?

[color=#770077][/color][quote author=The_Matrix]In her profile she sits as a passenger and snaps herself (wonder y girls always do that),
Now she gives the finger in a pose with a car she calls her own...smh for some people o!
Back to the topic, as someone has said, The Toyota spyder has very good second hand value that's y its been sold by most upgraders period.
Next topic plssss[/quote]. Guy leave matter 4 matthias jare! D babe fine jor. E be like say she fine pass ur babe, that being d reason 4 ur beaf/jealousy! E no concern U, if she likes she can pose in a molue. It still doesnt concern U

Forget what is written on a bus and enta d bus jor!

Ournaija: Good question. I hope you will learn from it as am going to take the pain to tell you.

Rochas grew up in Jos and became a teacher. He had a tutorial center where kids come to learn and prepare for exams. Many became great scholars through his centre and he was recognized. The children of the rich also patronized him even the Gbong Gwom of Jos kids also patronized his center. That is why it`s easy for him to give free education because it`s his business.

Sometimes, in the early 90s IBB went to Jos and asked the Gbon Gwom of Jos to provide an educationist who can implement an educational scheme for Plateau then and he was recommended. He implemented the scheme successfully and he was given the privilege to replicate it in all the Northern states. This is how he got his way into government. He later won the contracts to supply Prado Jeeps and other stuffs across the federation. That was how he continue to grow from...............

Lesson
Whatever you findeth you hand to do, do it well, money will locate you.

. OP. Atleast 4 now, U either take this or u better still ask google!

PStylish: Chei!

Why are most nairalanders so dumb?

Someone suggests the President shouldnt have responded. Next, a bundle of i.di.ots line up behind him in support like they were not entitled to come up with their own thought out opinion or someone will flog or chide them for doing so.

If the President didnt respond they'll say he is scared and weak. Now he has responded, you are complaining.

BH and their backers are getting extremely frustrated by the failure of their evils whims and caprices to shake the President.
GEJ's response can be interpreted by the discerning as " do your worst guys, bomb the whole north down, kill yourselves.i dont give a damn. aint resigning or quitting any time soon."

Of course BH has not affected the nations economy/revenue generation one bit. We keep growing year in year out.
Every right thinking serious investor knows his destination for business - the south.
The south has always been the life wire of the nation since the colonial era. In fact, the amalgamation was done to balance the deficit incurred by running the north with the excess gotten from the south.

BH is like a tsetse fly on a man's scrot.u.m (ba.lls). It cant be killed with a sledge hammer otherwise...

Who said GEJ never knew the BH sponsors and their objective? He's simply flowing with the rhythm
thereby frustrating them. OBJ must have schooled him.

Ride on GEJ !!!

. Guy, Nice analysis there! GEJ and co still hav a little time to redeem themselves

Fhemmmy: I cant blv you people are still talking about this loss

. Haha. But we suppose loose dat game now! Basketbalk no be football oh! Lol

@Afam4eva. Abi u wan replace Fhemmy, I dey laugh U. Let us brace up and expect anoda white washing 2morow. Argentina wey dey beat USA smtimes! Ofcos they 'll win but nt wit dat USA margin

NEROSKY: I no fit laffffff oh !!!!!
Dis man N dede One day are D only ppl I watch in home video oddas ar rubbish buh som still make sense .....
''Any Tim wey I see DIs man I go just dey laff''

. For Mr. Ibu and Dede one dey to be in a movie is comical enough. They re d adult version of Aki and Paw paw. Anyways, d guy is simply talented. He doesnt need to talk to make u laugh. Just his facial expression 'll do d magic

Food is supposed to be eaten at ones comfort. OP, If u think this is gross, mine is the 'grossest' cos when i go to fast food joint to eat rice and chicken, i always ask them to do away wit their fork and give me Shovel{spoon}. Come beat me now. Lol

Fhemmy d Patrotic Nigerian, where re U! Lol. The US re d king of Basketball thou d Naija guys tried but d ugly truth still remains dat generally, all sports is taking a nosedive in Nigeria !

oluwacjay: dude u funny men, gave it 2 him straite up. But srzly was d point carryin yankee based guys 2 rep us only 4 dem 2 be dismantled by deir colleagues. We gat talent here man dat I knw 4 show

. Bros. If it were Naija home base players, d score go reach 1000! I tell U

@ Onegai. Nice comments but d truth still remains dat many people dat u couldnt imagine dat need d Job must surely go 4 it. Anyways, d case is a matter of 'mugu{federal gov} fall, guyman{dangote} chop'! Let us nt kill ourselves over this issue cos 'na condition make crayfish bend'.

D' Tigers loosing d match is nt d story but d Margin they lost. But mehn! Lebron James is one hell of a three pointer!! @Fhemmy. I just dey laugh u 4 ur Patrotism cos this one pass miracle Istanbul. Lol

lilkech: We all know that armed bandits have been laying ambush for unsuspecting motorists and travelers on our highways especially on the lonely stretch of road between the Benin by-pass and the town of Benin itself. I don't think our police force can help out at this particular area of the highway so we need to be prepared for the worst.

They manage to stop vehicles and buses by either throwing objects onto the road directly in the path of your vehicle, pretending to be servicing a broken down vehicle or they just COME OUT GUNS DRAWN AND DANGEROUSLY POINTING IT AT YOUR VEHICLE or worse still BLAZE AT YOU.

If you are ever unfortunate enough to be stopped by those highway robbers, please take special heed to the advice I wish to give on this thread.

STEP 1

Once you notice the robbers trying to pull your vehicle over, just 'FLOOR IT', unless of course they have their guns already pointed directly at you from afar. In this case 'JUST STOP YOUR VEHICLE' because you wouldn't want to test if their weapons are loaded, or do you? I seriously hope not.

STEP 2

If your vehicle gets pulled over, do not make the mistake of trying to fight your way out of the situation because of the likely consequence (see step 1 above)

STEP 3

Normally at this stage the bandits will commence to quickly search you and the full vehicle for plunder able valuables. If you are in a commuter bus, then the bandits will force the doors open and coerce the passengers to RUN INTO THE BUSH adjacent the lane you were pulled over on (to the right). I prefer to run into the bush also but ON THE OPPOSITE LANE OF THE HIGHWAY or ON THE HIGHWAY ITSELF AWAY FROM THE VEHICLE (if the chance presents itself). If you were robbed on the road itself then forget about the next steps and GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE FAST.

IN THE NEXT STEPS IT IS ASSUMED THAT YOU ARE TRAVELLING ALONE. THIS IS BECAUSE YOU ARE ACTUALLY ON YOUR OWN AT THIS POINT, FORGET 'CROWD MENTALITY' AND USE YOUR BRAIN FROM HERE ON

STEP 4

Once the bandits demand that you run into the bush you can either choose to crouch and whimper in the bus (feint hearted) or dash out from the bus. Please remember to leave your traveling bags and heavy stuff in the bus before leaving it (no matter what you've got in it) as carrying them will slow you down and automatically turn you into a target for the bandits to single out. If you remained in the bus then just sit tight and await the return of the other members of your vehicle from the bush.

NOW IT GETS REALLY SERIOUS AND TRICKY FROM HERE

STEP 5

Once you are out of the bus and dashing into the jungle please DO NOT RUN TOGETHER WITH/ IN THE SAME DIRECTION WITH YOUR CO-PASSENGERS as the crowd mentality will cloud your judgment. You should under no circumstance run MORE THAT A FEW METERS INTO THE BUSH before falling on the ground and LAYING THERE FOR NO MORE THAN 10 MINUTES before getting up and slowly make your way back to the road in another direction from which either you or your co-passengers came into the bush. This is because the bandits will waste no time in plundering the bus/car and then taking off into the same bush themselves.

If you run too far into the bush YOU WILL DEFINITELY ENCOUNTER THE REST OF YOUR CO-PASSENGERS AS WELL AS THE MAIN GANG OF BANDITS (did you really think that the 3 or 4 guys that stopped your vehicle were all the members of the gang? Well, think again) plus you also run the risk of getting lost and losing your handy belongings (phones, wallets, purses e.t.c) in the confusing jungle marathon race that you and others would have participated in.

BUT IF YOU DID RUN DEEP INTO THE JUNGLE OUT OF FEAR, THEN READ ON.

STEP 6

Band together with other members of your vehicle and then coordinate within yourselves to present the bandits with the valuables you can afford to lose (yes, because the robbers MUST find you) and try to find a safe and traceable place to hide the items that you consider of high value to you. Remember to keep little cash for your transport fare aside just in case but remember that YOU MUST PRESENT THE ROBBERS WITH SOMETHING(S) OF TANGIBLE INTEREST TO BE CONSIDERED 'SAFE' AT THIS POINT. Failure to do so might cause the bandits to inflict injuries on you or worse still cost you your life.

Once and after you have been robbed just immediately proceed to make your way back to your vehicle which must still be parked on the highway itself (unless of course your driver has left you behind), THANK THE LORD YOUR GOD and continue with your journey.

Have a nice travel experience and safe journey.

. Bros, let me ask U. Are U a Born christian Armed robber? Lol

I learnt how to drive with my Godfather's 505! He has sold it cos he relocated out of d country but oh boy, one thing i know is dat i must buy dat type of car, even in d next 10years! A very rugged car indeed. Ikenna. Eze Peugeot!

I said it that may be this guy wasnt too good to represent GB and he opted 4 Nigeria! He just proved me right, but anyways he tried. Congratz to d guy sha, Atleast, 'he was an Olympian'

An Igbo man that wants to dispose off property cos of d situation of Nigeria! Lol. Happy sales thou

Put the price now?

If u re passing through a pool of water, especially during rainfall,
-off the air conditioner
-slowly pass the pool of water so that water won't enter inside the car ignition system such as the distributor or coil etc

madprof: Highest I've done is 210km/hr, 2007 Honda Accord on Kano-Kaduna expressway though I regularly do 180-190km/hr on the same road; that road is smooth, uncongested and dualized - very good for "high" speeds, if your car can handle it.
Having said that I think it is pertinent to point out that you should understand the car you are driving before attempting any speed in it. Know what the car can or can't do; some cars can't handle a bend unless you slow down while others even accelerate around bends at considerably high speeds. Most importantly, KNOW the road you are speeding on. It's not so much speed as control. Factors like inferior car balance, obstacles, uneven roads, single lane roads all reduce the amount of control you can exercise at higher speeds. I love driving fast and by fast here I mean - faster than most people I've seen, but I quickly become the slowest guy on the road when I encounter potholes and bumps - safety first.
Driving at 90 km/hr on the highway doesn't make you a safety-conscious driver; if you have a head-on collision at that speed you are not likely to survive it. If you hit a crossing goat at that speed the goat will die, apart from the damage to your car, but if you pay proper attention on the road you might be able to see the goat soon enough and swerve and/or brake to avoid disaster, regardless of your speed. A lot of people I see on the road are simply absent-minded and careless. They drive without wearing seatbelts, enter the road without checking if there's a car coming from behind, drive smack in the middle of the road (because they don't use rearview or sideview mirrors) and they think they are driving safely simply because they are "crawling" on the road.
Tell me: how many okada accidents are due to overspeeding? Have you ever wondered why a Formula 1 racecar, driving at speeds of up to 350km/hr can maintain balance without crashing most times? Even when it does crash the driver rarely suffers more than a few scratches. The simple reason is that the factors of safety have been greatly enhanced in a Formula 1 race. The car, the road the driver all operate within a system of improved safety and control. Bearing that in mind I don't see anything wrong in travelling 200km/hr on a smooth, straight, long and unobstructed stretch of highway - IF your engine can deliver and sustain such power.
Lastly, always remember to wear your seatbelt no matter how fast or slow you drive; always pay attention on the road.

. Bros. U hit the nail on the head Jor.

I doubt if they bought those cars. If they did, then GEJ is d worst president of
Nigeria

mejai: 1) okigwe-enugu = 15mins @ 200km/ph (honda legend, 1993 model)
2) enugu - ph = 1hr 45mins @ 180/200km/hr (2008 toyota corolla); dis was in 2009.
3) asaba-benin = 35mins @ 210km/hr(electronically limited speed on benz cars) (R350 4matic) baby monster. Happened last yr.
4) enugu - awka= 25mins @ 180km/hr(nissan pick-up, 2005 model). + check-points o. All d same speed kills. Always wear ur seat-belt pls!!!

. Guy. U dey lie oh! Okigwe to Enugu in 15min? Easy now