₦airaland Forum

http://mashable.com/2013/04/15/dove-ad-beauty-sketches/Dove posted on Monday a three-minute ad on YouTube
that teaches a vital lesson about how we view ourselves compared to how others see us. Trust us, it's worth your time.

A former forensic artist for the San Jose police department met a series of women and asked each to describe the way they look. He had no way of seeing them behind a curtain. He prompted them to detail everything: hair length, facial structure, their most prominent features. He then sketched each participant from their self-description.

Each woman was asked before the study to get to know one of the other participants. The forensic artist then prompted each woman to describe the other's face.

At the end of the video, the artist reveals two sketches — one from the participant itself, one from their partner. The differences are remarkable.

We won't ruin the effect for you, but we'll leave you with this comment from Dove posted below the video:

"Women are their own worst beauty critics," Dove says. "Only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful ... we decided to conduct a compelling social experiment that explores how women view their own beauty in contrast to what others see.

http://realbeautysketches.dove.com

Every woman should watch this

kulyie: nope.it is not a dumb move.the mistake she made was not going with men who will do justice to the disorganization of the wedding or acid that she could splash on the face,breast or vagina of the bride that will render either of those places useless for the rest of her life.it will be a desperado meeting a harder desperado,omo i no dey use that kain thing play o especially when i know i am on my right and some people are about cheating me.but come to think of it people wicked sha does it mean that the chief brides maid,the groomsman or any of his family were all pretending like they didnt know he was already married.tufiaaa.so all of them dey feign ignorance.smh,what a pity.

This lady's heart is dark. I pray she never meet someone with her kind of mentality.

Going through some of the comments so far it disheartening to see the level of Inhumanity some of us are willing to condone.

What type of society do we want to become, is It one were jungle justice is given a pat in the back, and neglect towards the rule of law Is received with accolades.

What he did was MORALLY wrong, It's soooooooo Wrong, but that doesn't justify what she did.
her action was selfish, barbaric and inhumane.
Destroying the life of a man, a mother's son, a brother.

It is sad most people are blinded by emotion and have hence killed their sense of right and wrong, and have gone on wishing she did more damage to him.

Yes he cheated, do u like It "no". Is he the only guy on the planet earth 'no', can I leave him "yes". Simple as that.


I think women prone to commit such an act are the clingy, needy, low self esteem ones. The type who believe their life revolves around a man. Moreover The confident, emotionally sound and responsible ones Can't even think of doing this or supporting it. They will be like "dude your loss sorry i wasted my time On You"


If every MAN or woman is to inflict bodily injury, pour acid or kill. Anyone who breaks HIS or her heart, what are the odds majority of us will still be left unharmed.

Like I once said, If as a man or woman you are looking for reasons to justify Evil you will surely find PLENTY.

Call evil for what it is and don't justify it.

#Matthew Briggs.

The right time to me is when you know deep down you are mentally and financially prepared. One indication is when you no longer depend on your parents for your basic needs but instead give to them and your siblings.

As the first son, I left mine when i was 18. When i started a small company (while still continuing my college education). I felt i needed space to start planning my life, i needed space to grow and become a man, because my parent where so protective and caring ( a trait i love about them but in the long run might not be good for me). Plus my parent's place was a little bit far from where my company was situated.

In my opinion, Best times to leave the house

#After High school (18) if you got the cash and attained mental & emotional maturity
#After college (22)
#When you get a good job. (25)
#When you are thinking of getting married (27/30)

In summary the best time is when you know you are ready and can afford it.

#Matthew briggs

A-non-y-mous
-adj
-of unknown name, whose name is withheld.

-Keyboards tapping, mouse clicking, hands scrolling, this is the routine activity of hundreds of thousands of Nigerians and friend of Nigeria all over the world who use their anonymous identity to create content for Africa's most visited website.

Nairaland has grown from just being a little forum of yesterday, to a place that gives voices to more than a million people. With more that 2million threads and 10milion comments created, it's become a place to be heard, to stand out, to discuss passions and ideas, a place where they can share their hurts, feelings, fears and plans for the future. Where through hard work , dedication and intelligence a few users have built influence, a following and have over time become online celebrities.

Having joined Nairaland not long ago. Just like you, I wanted to be heard. The first thing I had to do was to create an identity. And the first question that rattled through my mind was.

Who do I want to be?

Naira-land has proven once again that to be anonymous is a beautiful thing. Via this feature, it's given millions of people the opportunity to live again, to take up a new life and a different identity on the web.


With this new found identity voices are amplified, inhibitions broken and the beauty and ugliness of our different personalities unleashed. The ugly can become beautiful, the poor can rub shoulders with the rich, the young with the old, celebrities and politicians can interact freely with their fans, The shy can for once be studs, the fat-sexy, and good boys can be bad boys, all these with an identity that can't be traced to them.

They say with great power comes great responsibility.
The power for you to be who you want to be, say what you want to say, no matter how indecent, controversial, abusive or absurd it is, Comes with a responsibility.

And what is this responsibility you might ask?

Before you type that reply, create that thread, quote a comment. REMEMBER, that behind these moniker's are great personalities, people like you, people with a dreams,feelings and a soul. Remember that under this anonymous identities you'll find a father that works long hours to provide the best for his family, A lovely mother who want the best for her kids, a lonely woman who all she wants is to meet the man of her dreams, You'll find a young man hustling to make ends meet, A celebrity battling with drugs and health issues who all he/she wants is to make his/her fans happy , a youth battling with peer pressure trying to discover his/her place in this world.

You'll find people of different ages, ideologies , idiosyncrasies, back-ground, personalities, belief system and way of life. You'll find tribalist, trolls,religious fanatics, bullies and people with difficult personality.

It's up-to to you to take it as a responsibility to treat people nicely and with respect, even if they have different ideas and opinions from yours and most times even if they don't deserve it. No matter how offensive or mundane they are, debate and not debase, fight ideas not people, instruct not insult, let you posts and thread build and enlighten not tear someone them down.

Been anonymous is indeed a beautiful thing, but been real and in touch with your true self and emotions while being anonymous is more rewarding.

Thanks
#Matthew Briggs.

Space reserved

I respect the choices of others especially those that are afraid or detest confident women.
But I would like us not to confuse confidence for stubbornness or pride. once again I respect your taste and choices.

Personally I love women with a fine blend of confidence & humility. A woman that believes in herself, her ideas , convictions and dreams, she's hardly swayed by public opinions. A woman that is very comfortable in her own skin. She is goal driven and takes initiative.

Confident women are smart. They engage your mind, They bring ideas to the table, They add value to a relationship instead of taking it, they make you sit up as a man. They are have strong character and will.

She will be a Michelle to your Obama, she can hardly fall your hand any place but instead take you higher.

When a confident woman loves you, She truly does, Because in the first place she can do without you, but chooses not.

Blessed is the man that can Tame them. Moreover if you are not a very confident, intelligent and of strong character you can't handle or tame them.

Three core things that I find attractive in a woman is Confidence, intelligence and sex-appeal with her being God fearing by default.

NB:- The sad thing is that majority of people (men and women) mistake proud, stubborn and assertive women as confident women which should not be so.
#Mathew Briggs.

Afam4eva: I'm into technology products eg Web services, inventions etc.

I want a name that's not common but that means something positive. Preferably, a 2 syllable name. I was searching for the name of an animal or plant that has a unique feature that i can use. I don't just want to go for any name but a name that can easily be remembered and will sell itself else i would have joined by Alaba brothers in the way they name their business eg Chymmex enterprises.

I was once in your shoes trying to come up with a name that is cool and also has the domain name still available.
Out of experience, one good way of coming up with a cool name is by understanding and outlining your vision. Next look for words or gorup of words that when they come together they connect with the vision you have for your company. You can use a combination of languages English, french, Greek, spanish etc. bottom line it should sound hip and cool.

For example i perceive you want to go into web and inventing stuff, what do you think of the name "Code-Synergy Inc."

#Matthew briggs.

Late Steve Jobs (Fmr CEO Apple)
Larry Page (Ceo Google)
Barack Obama (First Black president of the US)

James Cameroon (Director Avatar)

Read through the comments glad some people were able to understand this was a satire, that i am not promoting promiscuity of any kind, but was trying to Kill an ideology, By showcasing the weakness of a thought process, and indirectly create a balance of opinions by making our female folks see the world from our own eyes also.

I have very deep regards and respect for the ladies, and i believe they also have the same level of regards for themselves and their body. Therefore should try and desist from giving in no matter the millions of temptation they face, The only reason a man should be granted access to your body should be because you love him not because of money,the desire for intimacy, peer pressure, materialistic or manipulative agenda etc. Thanks to the moderator that made this post to hit the front page, your singular action has help correct an ideology that would have spread like a virus especially in the mind of teenage girls.


Richfella said something that summarizes the point he wanted to make in his thread but ended up going about it the wrong way.

"The crux of the matter is that:There is a massive disparity between women's legitimate séxual needs and what the society is willing to accept."

THIS IS INDEED IS THE CRUX OF THE MATTER. WHY?...I THINK IT'S A DISCUSSION FOR ANOTHER DAY. No need to apportion blames and raising of motions and counter motions.

Just do what is right...and never try to come up with a reason to do what is wrong becos you will find plenty of reasons to.

kimberluge: Actually,I see a lot,just pretense works beta. Most ladies r gud at pretense,or am I wrong ladies?

LOL Yea pretense works better, See your Sharp eye.

kimberluge: I wonder why men still stare n get a bonner at a muslim woman who is fully wrapped in sari! Dis goes a long way 2 show dat most male humans r evolved from animals compared to d female folks!!Cause I know God made a difference btw Humanbeings n animals n dat is SELF CONTROL!

Men do-not get Bonners on sighting a fully wrapped or clothed woman in sari, We get stimulated when we see flesh and curves. Men are more evolved than you put it. i say so because we show a great deal of self control suppressing our urges and sexual hunger despite the missiles you guys throw at us everyday, that's why you can rarely sight a guy with a Bonner, we do a good job of hiding and controlling our emotions for the better good.

Adaeze003: Not as authentic tho ...

yes i quite agree, Because I had no intention to make it So.

xynerise: This is the remix right?

Yea

Most women are quick to judge men: "That Tunji guy is loose, 7 girl friends in 1 year!". "I still can't believe it, he humps on everything that moves, my friend just told me she's slept with her and dumped her after he dis-virgined her. Geezuus! he is a player not a husband material, men are not reliable!"

But ladies have you ever stopped to look at the world through our own eyes? The Indians used to say, don't judge a man until you walk a mile in his moccasins] (Lol, some funny dude added; so that you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes ).


Guy as we all know are sexually stimulated by what we see.
Meaning we don't have to wait for a particular time of the month to ovulate. We actual ovulate by sight. NB The difference we with our ovulation is that we have what we call "bonners". which is quite embarrassing.

The average looking guy , gets to be bombarded with sexually suggestive images in real time a million times more than the richest, sexiest ladies ever would, with our ladies preferring to go semi nude and un-claded is not helping matters.

Do you know how many sexual temptations we face how many "Bonners" we have to hide every day at the office, at the supermarket, even at the church, Yes at the CHURCH, where we get to see that sexy curvy luscious usher telling us to move to the front seat, where we get to see Amaka armed with serious Manchester showing off her chest asset and Tope endowed with serous arsenal packaging it in a way one can literally see the shape of her arsenal.

Girls are not helping matters at all giving the fact they are becoming more materialistic and lose Therefore a successful good looking guys are in trouble and a hot cake,

This Guy even get chyked and offered sex massively by this same female that complain we are cheats even when they know he's heart belongs to someone.
Most time there advances are very subtle, like when the lady tell you she needs a lift on your range rover, Or calls you for recharge card, or Sways her arsenal to entice you, Our wears makeup in excess to hide her facial defects, or tells you she want to visit you when she knows your Gf is on a trip. Or blatant, like when she comes all out and makes her intentions known that she wants to sleep with you.

Back to the Bonner analysis, The average guy hides 15 a day
At just 10 Bonners a day, that translates to frightening figures like 365 X 10= 3,650! times in just ONE year. And then, there's the next year, and the next year and the next year...


If girls ovulates like that on a daily basis, she will become very useless, won't even be able to go to work again

And to add petrol to fire, these marrafokers are pushing the boundary as to how UN-claded they can go go, With hard Tempting, hard-to-resist, mouth-watering arsenal hanging in front of us everywhere. And most of them are free, Or just few buck away, - in all it's devilishly disarming luscious form.

Plus the fact that even the princess we have at home will or is gradually expiring and she even keep deny us even when we really need it.

Sincerely, I am yet to meet any girl that can withstand the onslaught of temptation, the barrage of inducement that guys have to deal with EVERY SINGLE DAY. Yet they feel we are on a moral high-ground and have the right to judge us and call us cheats.


Our society encourages the institution called marriage and expect us to be faithful to our wives or gfs but at the same time this same women bombard us with more than 3,000 temptations yearly, but at the same time strongly disapproves of us if we fall for even 1. It's really unfair the societal pressure you mount on us. you want us to conform to your 'ideal' man and repress our most natural desires, this is cruel.

Is it not the height of hypocrisy. You dress so revealing and enticing and expect us to just look and turn the other way. And then you turning around to judge us men for being cheats, having lack of self control and failing to resist temptation.

Left for me i think the average woman loves been chyke it reassures them the are sexy and beautiful that's why they go all the length to showcase their asset. Invariably meaning the more the chykeing frequency the more assurance she gets about her beauty and sex appeal, this means to an average woman 1,825 chykers per year (according to rockfella analysis) is indeed a good sign, It a score they would like to even increase, it is not a bad thing for them as he painted it, infact they love the attention (I might be wrong).



Maybe he once had a one-night stand, so what? Maybe he once slept with someone for the fun of it, so what? Maybe he dis virgin-ed and dumped you, e he??

There is no need asking Now, if you were a man, from the bottom of your heart, do you think you could ever be half as good?



DISCLAIMER:- I am not in support of promiscuity by men but want to prove how flawed Rockfella's earlier post is by using the same step and flawed premise he used to indirectly defend women from been called or judged as slut when they sleep around. I therefore turned it the other way round and did a remix of his post. (link to the post https://www.nairaland.com/1197768/before-calling-girlfriend-slut-read)
[b]
This is not an attack on the person of Rockfella. in fact i respect him. But this is an attack on the ideology he's earlier post indirectly promotes.

IN FACT- A REAL MAN IS ONE WHO HAS HIS ABILITY TO EXHIBIT A HIGH LEVEL OF DISCIPLINE, SELF CONTROL AND RESPONSIBILITY. A man that knows how to sort his priorities and delay immediate gratification for the long term gain. A man that stays true to one woman in sickness and in health.

The moral I want to point out is that, If as a man or woman you are looking for reasons to justify something that's wrong you will surely find PLENTY.

Do forgive any typos.

Cheers.
#Matthew briggs

Nice Analysis but very wrong premise, it's illogical therefore destroys your conclusion.

Your analysis would have worked if Men and Women were wired equaly or have the same emotional and physical characteristics.

Leme apply your logic in a different scenario and you can judge how it weighs in

EG.
Most of us are quick to judge Bankers who commit fraud: "That Guy na serious thief see as he embezzled 20billion from people who trust him with his their hard earned money!". "I still can't believe it, this guy should be jailed for life.

But have we ever stopped to look at the world through their own eyes?

The Average Bank cashier on a normal working day, comes in contact with average of 10million naira in a day.
At just 5million in a day that is 365 x 5,000,000= appx. 1.9bilion naira in just ONE year. And then, there's the next year, and the next year and the next year... all this money are not his kai.

And to add petrol to fire, standard of living keep rising and responsibilities keep piling, Rent's increasing, fuel, food etc.
But that will not justify him if he is caught stealing even 100Naira, and if caught he might even end up been convicted as a criminal.

Why because there are some control mechanisms the bank management put in place to prevent him from doing so, like paying him well, and creating a system that detect and prevent fraud on a fly therefore scaring him from doing so.

Where I am getting at via this analogy.
Nature has place in women some check and balances to help them overcome the billions or trillions of temptation the get every year, mechanisms like
they get turned on by words not visual, Sex is more emotional and deeper not casual or trivial, i can go on and on to mention the mechanisms, i guess i've made my point.
For Every 1,825 guys she meet every year nature has given her the power to resist them .

Therefore if they fall for this temptation they are have failed and are prone to bear whatever names or consequence that comes with it.
@Op There is no use trying to INDIRECTLY justifying what is wrong or demanding it should be seen from a new light. Call a spade a spade.

A woman that sleeps around is a slut a man that does it above normal is a pig or a dog.

The only point I agree with you is that Men should not be quick to judge women why because as you said , don't judge a man until you walk a mile in his moccasins

The conversations, opinion and counter opinions shared on this thread has been quite engaging and for real @Idowuogbo and 2buff are on point.
I can deduce 3 core points both of them are making.

1. They don't support cohabiting.
2. But support the fact that a woman should be resourceful around the house of some she cares about whenever the opportunity presents itself.
3. Helping out is not an obligation but a necessity if you truly love someone, it's a sign that shows you care enough about his well being.

Majority of ladies of this present century have a certain mindset that they need to correct before it gets too late. Even my sister is no exception.

I had I sit her down and talk to her as an elder brother. She's very fond of visiting me periodically to ask and collect money, Which I gladly doll out, but I discovered she never bothers to at least to be resourceful around the house even when am not around. But my brother on the other hand cleans up even without me asking, this act of kindness from my brother makes me even do for him more than he asks. it makes me think of what i can do for him because I have this feeling he is really concerned about my well being. Glad thing my sister has changed for the better after our talk and now she's doing a good job even more than my brother. i really do love her she's the best.

I think a lady in a relationship that she hopes to evolve into marriage should be asking herself what can I give what value can i add to this relationship, instead of what can I take.

Helping out is something you do to people you really care about not just you boyfriend alone. if you're naturally resourceful and hardworking this topic wouldn't be a problem or issue.

The core diff between a wife material and a girlfriend material is so simple the girl friend takes value while the wife material adds value to via her actions. We men think with our brains when it's time to settle down. it's your choice to choose which stereotype you want your man to see you as.

Disclaimer:- Being resourceful is not a 100% sure bet he will marry you. But it sure increases your chances. It is meant for people you truly love, Moreover there is no 100% surety they will value your effort but do it not for them but you. Because you are a virtuous, hardworking and resourceful woman who want to add value to the lives of people she cares about.
#Forgive any typos

Thanks
Matthew Briggs

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Thanks guy i really appreciate the fact you were able to read my lengthy post and in-turn provided valuable response that is very useful not only to me, but also to people reading this thread who are facing the same situation as i am.

@ AmBeautiful, doe-eyed, Aggrippa(m), beylinko(m),Roseey0(f),chikeorji123(m),tpacalipse(m),skoloppy31,Walexz02, indoorlove,jeffp, luvmijeje(f),ifihearam,2goodbobo,chikeorji123(m),Yield(f),2buff(m)

YOU GUYS ARE INDEED AWESOME. YOU HAVE INDEED REDUCED MY PAIN.

Moreover given your valid points and well thought out responses.

I will ask her out (it will only cost me my ego if she says NO, and at least i will have closure and move on). But on the other hand i will start by first taking things very slow and letting things flow natural, i will ask her out for lunch then the movies, i will gradually open my self up to her, letting her get to know me better, letting her know my background, and if she still likes and believes in my potential great, if she doesn't i will surely move on. I will take this leap of faith, knowing that their is no 100% assurance i will land with my heart still intact.

Like you guys stated it will indeed be a very useful learning process for me as i build my emotional intelligence, which is very crucial i do so now, Cos when i reach the pinnacle of my career the stakes will be much higher and the possibility i will be surround by trolls will definitely increase. It's gonna be a bumpy ride for sure but the earlier the better.

in response to some questions.
I am a virgio (i really don't believe in zodiac signs tho.)
I am not from the yoruba tribe ( Truth be told i really respect the Yorubas they are very educated and intelligent, i have a couple of them as friends and professional contacts).
She is a Nigerian, Brilliant and beautiful. She has a nice personality plus she has told me how she admires and respects on several occasions, plus she trust my sense of judgement and really believes in me.
i will indeed keep you guys updated as requested.

Once again i thank you all for you co-operation and contribution, wish you a great year ahead and mostly importantly a bliss filled love life.
Thanks.

Sometimes my heart becomes heavy with a burden that ireally can't bottle up but share the weight of what i feel inside, so that whosoever around can listen and help me heal. In times like this I opt for my keyboard to pen down my feelings
I will start by painting a picture of who I am and my personality.

I am a young man gradually climbing up the ladder in my career. This is a piece about my feelings and the emotion battles I am facing .
Truth be told I am not good with the ladies. Not because of am shy , ugly or un-cool. I am the opposite I am bold, good looking and quite cool, I love to take charge. But I think it's because I am always seen as been too serious, am more of the career and business focused type , plus I am not very emotional at all (the little emotion I have, I do a good job of concealing it). I am not very good at "small talk " my friends do complain that I easily turn our casual discussion into business and professional discussions. For example the other day a female friend called me telling me she's sick and just wanted to talk with me, I ended up turning the conversation to how lucrative the heath care business is and some ideas that if implemented can disrupt Nigeria's health care industry. The fact is that they mostly complain and see me as boring, but the weird thing is that I don't see myself as that, it's just that I see the world from a very unique perspective and it's always fun for me to share that perspective with whoever lends me their ear even for a second.

I can hardly keep or start a discussion with a women on any topic aside my career, projects am working on, technology or science. So I don't bother starting one. Most ladies many think am shy. But far from it I can speak to any woman stunning or average looking without flinching or showing any signs of tension in as much we share the same interest, but when small talk creeps in I fell very uncomfortable in the conversation and in most cases I start giving the wrong responses and therefore recluse into my shell.

I have never been in a relationship not because of failure of trying or not meeting someone I fancy, in-fact of on several occasions I have been toasted by seemingly beautiful and attractive ladies and I in turn have met ladies I fancy. I think the main reason is that deep down in me I know I was not ready for a relationship.
But to amuse you this is a list of reasons or barriers I put up from allowing anything of such from happening.

1. My most strongest reason is that I take been in relationships very serious, In fact I even see it as been married. Right from my teenage years I have this rule of thumb when it comes to ladies which is "if I can't see her in my future, there is no need of us relating or even just been friends except on professional grounds or as an acquaintance" With this ideology even if am attracted to lady I dare not ask her out because I know I'll break her heart which I do not want to do.

2. I really get bored with women even having them as friends (not sexually), but with their drama, their constant need for attention, and their penchant for small talk. most of them are of shallow mind and have the mindset of taking value and not adding any at all (NB: Not all ladies fit this stereotype, cos the smart one's still exist) and thus cannot engage my mind in deep and intellectual conversations therefore boring my curious mind. And the annoying thing is that the ones who can engage me intellectually are not attractive enough to engage me sexual. The ones that i can engage on both grounds I hardly see them in my future mainly due to one character defect or the other. Overtime I have discovered a pattern which is "all the ladies I have ever fancied or liked are all older than me the lowest been 3years older".

Few years back everything changed I met this lady on a job, my guess 3years older, I wouldn't classify her as very attractive, but she's quite good looking, most importantly she challenges my mind, She's very brilliant. The first time I saw , I knew I might like her. Bit given the fact that I don't believe in love at first sight, I tried to get to know her. I made her my friend to be precise " a professional colleague" and thus related to her as such. But after getting to know her, I have seen her strengths and weakness, I have witnessed her in highs and low. Even tho I know I don't know all about her the little I know has made me really fall in love with her. Truth be told she do really like me (at least from my perspective). Not just her words but her actions have told me so, she's given me signals which I have intentionally ignored.
Because am yet to make up my mind.

I am still unable to commit or ask her out Because.

I think I am afraid.

I am afraid of the feeling of not be in control that love leaves me, it make me feel weak and helpless. it make me feel vulnerable.

I really do not know how to tell her. what if she says NO, how will it affect our professional relationship.

My mind tells me she is a distraction toward my goals, but the irony is that she's been very useful on my part to achieving my vision, I feel very comfortable telling her about my ideas and she's really given me some useful suggestions.

I am afraid she doesn't know the real me, the me I want her to know before she say yes.
The fact that she is from a well to do family is not helping matters for me given that I am from a struggling background. Which I know she doesn't know, not because I pretend or "form" But because with the little I have I take care of myself and I am opportune to work in a place that helps pay for my currently lifestyle and also helps me send money to support my family.

I am afraid l will not be able to treat her and financially support her dreams the way I really want to . I feel her lifestyle which is okay given her background is not something I can't afford even tho she is not the demanding type. I want to be able to provide for her. I want to invest in her emotionally, financially and anyhow possible.

it pains me that she doesn't know I love her. I have never felt this way for anybody .
I am quite in a confused state.

NB: Forgive any existing typos and thanks for your meaningful and well thought-out replys in advance.