₦airaland Forum

Lyth: Yep it sure was entertaining ....kind of lyk 2 ileya rams locking horns in full aggressive mode. Lol

Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​. Am laffing real hard. Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ rolling on d floor. Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​. Coughing out loud. Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ still on d floor Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​

mc~evans:
Thanks for watching. Lol. Stay Tuned! Don"t Touch That Dial..

Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ . Am locked 2dis frequency and going no where. Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​

lele Ekpa: Khana LGA is claiming there is nothing like that going on. Pls may be we go to perm. Sect. in PH.

Plz do confirm very well b4 they start their "magomago".

justi4jesu: Am hearing this for the first time. Hope they haven't stopped for Asari-Toru ooo

I dunno abt A-T but plz if not in PH, call home 2 confirm. It was really not funny @ Walga when series of calls went out and the chairman wasn't happy abt that. All the staffs including family members were begging him stil to no avail. It was a frnd of his that came out of his office to collect 4rm people that waited and asked us 2go that he will submit it.

mc~evans:
Thank U Dumexx. Its obvious our jokes are the same but the subject ain't the same. He quoted "You should really learn to check other people's thread before posting yours. I posted this joke in my 'kiss of life' thread some 2 days ago". I was surprised and quoted "Huh" Would you please clarify? He replied me saying " He understand it takes me 7 hours to understand anything that happens around me. Pẹle". So, he called for the insults and i striked back. PERIOD!

Yeah! He truly called 4d "ish". Just like Ishi- I enjoyed the braw.Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​

Lyth: Nice 1 dude ...though u punked me I can still cry foul play wit d chris "BROWN" heading.
As 4 d valiant dude, not evry saw ur post of d joke ...and btw did u even come wit ur patents 4 d joke u lay claims 2?

Thank U̶̲̥̅̊ very much. Its obvious dey both copied and pasted the same joke but I dnt see any reason for both of them †̥o clog horns.

bright007: ....see..don't let me insult that ya gay albino grandfather with K-leg...u know he didn't do me anything...

U̶̲̥̅̊ be winch o! How U̶̲̥̅̊ take knw say my GP na abino? Nahin be say hin varnish. No burial 4am. I no say U̶̲̥̅̊ no gt GP but just tell me when dem release U̶̲̥̅̊?

Grandma Goes to Court Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in
your own words, what happened to
you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting
there in my swing on my front porch on
a warm spring evening, when a young
man comes creeping up on the porch
and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was
friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after
he sat down beside you?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my
thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody
had done that since my Abner passed
away 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened
next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my
brea$t.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him
then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his
rubbing made me feel all alive and
excited. I haven't felt that good in
years.
Defense! Attorney: What happened
next?
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so
spicy that I just spread my old legs and
said to him, "Take me, young man,
Take me!"
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when
he yelled, "April Fool!"….And that's
when I shot the son of a b¥tch!

bright007: Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity Repetition is a sign of stupidity

Shai! who dey around? Abeg hlp me catch this gurl. She just escape 4 Uselu Psychia hospital. Plz hlp me return her.

MOGUL.O:
Picture of ToyBoy @ school!


can u imagine

Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​. Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ .Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ Laff don make me mess fire! Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ . Laff don make me mess again

blessedmayor: i have come across few ladies with strech marks and a friend of mine just left her Gf cos she was damn irritating. sayin d stuff was all over her hiding/private parts..plz any cure for diz

When Your frnd dey knack akpako, she wasn't irritating then o.
Anyway, 4 ђã†̥ its worth, Persistent application of Olive oil after bath will do d trick.

A more pronounced SM will need Vitamin E capsule broken, and mixed with Avocado oil also to be applied twice a day after bath.

Daily exercise is also a remedy to it.

It should however be born in mind that d solution is not instanta. Time and dedication is needed.


BTW, this is joke section so cut this thread and paste probably in d "I dunno where section"

For those of you who wrote the said Rivers State Ministry of Education Examination some time in August, 2012 and scored above 160, submission of your Result Slip is on going.

You are †̥o visit your Local Government Secretariat and submit a copy of your result slip to the Office of the Chairman of the LGA. I am afraid the LGA Chairman of "WALGA" claims the deadline for submission was yesterday 16th October, 2012 hence leaving some people who came to submit today 17th Oct, 2012 unattended †̥o.
Hurry now †̥o your LGA if U̶̲̥̅̊ haven't submitted yours. Submission time is from 10am - 11am.

Sarcasm

I'm in a bar with some crazy dudes and in the bar with us was a couple but far from our table. One of the dudes on my table was a bit drunk $ decided 2show his immaturity. Being large in size, stood up as if he wanted 2 say somtin serious; he shouted" Attention plz!". D bar was a bit quiet and all eyes were on him. D next tin we heard was a fart that sounded like the crash-sound of Dana aircraft(fwwwwwwwWuuuuuuuuuuuuupioooooootintin!). Some peeps laughed on continue dia biz.
The couple there in was upset from d luk on dia face and d man said to the dude " hey, U̶̲̥̅̊ just fart before my wife. I think U̶̲̥̅̊ shud apologize". The dude still standing said " Sorry ma, I didn't know it was Your turn".





Heavenly feeling

I traveled in late †̥o a friends place and as we prep 4a performance that night we overheard d next door neighbor arguing over something. I call it something coz it wasn't clear to me until d last statement.

Man: blah, blah, blah, blah....

Woman: ayiyiyiyiyiye ayiyiyyiye

Man: slilli shin shin sili. Mtsheew!

Woman: Abegi!

Man; ђã†̥?

Woman: U̶̲̥̅̊ Kom †̥oo quick!

Man: $hhit! U̶̲̥̅̊ Kom too late! I've bin here 2wks. I have a job!




Which side are U̶̲̥̅̊ on?

A liitle gurl ask d mother how creation came about and d mum said- God created Adam$Eve; They gave birth and their children gave bith and it continued that way. So I gave birth 2u. The little caught up with her Dad and also directed the same question to him. The Dad answered " Well,their is ђã†̥ we call revolution and mutation. We evolved from monkeys.

The little gurl puzzled, went back 2d mother and repeated ђã†̥ the father had said. The mother held her close and said "I am sorry 4d confusion my dear. U̶̲̥̅̊ see, I told U̶̲̥̅̊ my family side of the story. Your dad told U̶̲̥̅̊ his.

Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​
"Coughing and lafffing out loud"

Cabsso: A fat man see an advertisment“Lose 5kg in a week“ He called & said i wil lik 2join.
Lady: ok be ready 2maro by 6am. Nxt mornin, he gets 2d office & waz taken 2a room. He opens d door & saw a hot babe wit shoes sayin “if u catch me u can sleep wit me“ & d babe start runnin.
Man start runnin bt couldn‘t catch her so durin d whole week exercise, he tried 2catch her bt couldn‘t & lost 5kg.
He asked 4d 10kg programme. Next mornin at 6am he opened d door & saw even hotter babe wit Bikini sayin if u catch me u can sleep wit me. He lost 10kg dat week so, he thought dis programme is awesome lets try 25kg.
D lady said r u sure? Its really tough....
Man: y not nxt day by 6am opened d door xpectin 2c hotter babe bt saw a fit man sayin if i catch u i wil sleep wit u. Dat week he lost 40kg.
Come see race wit shout!!!

Am sure e shouted yeeeeeeeeeeeeeEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 9ce 1

Joke grade. 10/11

Kaydem: thank u sir.... y don't u remain speechless rather trying to make audience with ur idiotic utterance... u may go to helll.........

Pray I dnt meet U̶̲̥̅̊ there coz I'll be d 1st 2wash off Your body odour. Smelling MF

toygod2: Hey pips,i know y'all must have bin wondering why one-alien called MOGUL-O sometimes behaves awkwardly,like person wey harmattan dey catch hm brain.
For this reason,i took it upon myself to carry out a research on the likely reason.
What i got is not too surprising anyways,just to show u his pedigreeeeee.

M 4 MONKEY

O 4 ORANGUTANG

G 4 GORILLA

U 4 UGLY

L 4 LIFE-CYCLE

-

O 4 ? (still loading the final bombshell)
So little wonder,anytime yu see him exhibiting some traits from the above life forms. Its just a norm!

And about the O, erm ermm, i know yu don't wanna know. But,kip guessing, it could means Obdurate,Oaf,Obnoxious.........e.t.c


PEACE-OUT

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cantell: Didn't you see the Brb?
Bros, you need "space".

Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ . Laff won make me pop kunu

Victor joseph: 1, i go die 2,i go save, Gordons, 3,klint d drunk, 4, tatafoo 5, (Mr ibu), 6, basket mouth, 7,ali baba, 8, sheyi law,9, ay and lot more. I knw say some go wonda wen mr ibu join comedy. But dat man own sef don pass comedian own. Daz y him name dy among dat list. Post ur own best if u av urs wic is nt stated among d list

D best comedian 4me is 'I go die'. He hardly repeat jokes. Even if he does, he re-brands it. Basket mouth will second him and he's also enlightened. Gordons will follow but has a tie with "I go Die" in terms of yabs. Sheyi law has brand himsef 2yoruba jokes. I wonder if I dnt understand yoruba,will I laff to his jokes?...hmm! Ali Baba is still in his prime. AY isn't a stand-up comedian but an actor and poses the best comedy concepts 2nd to crack ur ribs of Julius agwu. I better pass I go save. Klint d drunk is next, Akpos(Bovi) and then all d Etc...

Jojo Armani: E like say dis Op na ur class mate.

No mind the kaydet,person dey won try hlp am; hin dey form one tree in d forest.

Kaydem: SMH......

Dem dey advice U̶̲̥̅̊, U̶̲̥̅̊ know won hear. Dats why U̶̲̥̅̊ dey fail social studies. Mtscheeeew!

slimkaybee: TEACHER; Akpos wat are
you doing under the
table ..AKPOS: Question 2
said "study the table
below and use it to answer
No 3 and 4

Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ . Its new 2me o. Laff won make me laff small small.(LWMMLSS)

Jojo Armani: Nice one but de ending is not wat I expected. #dontaskwatIexpected#

Alryt, I won't ask but let me hv ђã†̥ ur ending will be lyk so dat I can use it in d next edition

A man $ his wife somewhere in Bonny,PHC out of abundance decided †̥o host a dinner party for some frndz. Its 4pm & †̥he wife suddenly realized there are no snails in her set of meals 4dyt. She quickly called on her Husband and asked him †̥o plz rush down 2d beach and get some snails so dat she can add †̥o the meal(Also being d husband's favourite). The husband snatched a bucket with annoyance $ off 2d beach he goes.
At d beach, wz a damsel also picking snails and out of homo endeavor, she(d damsel) got talking with the man. As d nyt draw on them, 2+2=2 happened and the man spent the night in d damsel's apartment.
Its dawn, d damsel woke up d fella $ said "☆º°˚˚ƍöôϑ<3möЯηīĬηģº°˚☆". The man still wondering where he was, snapped; $hiiiiittt! My wife!. He quickly got off bed, wore his shirt, picked the bucket and zoom straight home.
On getting to d house door entrance, be bumped his leg and fell. Snails scattered everywhere and him not minding, rose up, opened d door and standing there was the wife with I'll kill U̶̲̥̅̊ face. Before she cud say anytin, d man turned to the snails and said "common guyz, we are almost there"

pendusky: The latest News is that BOKO HARAM condemns the killing of
the 4 students #Allu4#; says it is
inhuman and painful......SMH! Buh

I seriously 4gv U̶̲̥̅̊. Seriously! I mean it. Go $ sin or post dis kind thread no more

Laff won make me laff small small(LwMmLsS)

konkocious: A set of new words have been officially added to the English Dictionary

1) ALUU - A cursed, devilish, barbaric village, hidden at a remote part of the country some kilometers away from a high institution.

2) ALUUITE - A barbaric indigene of ALUU

3) ALUUEE - A person who is ALUUED

4) ALUUOLOGY - The study of barbaric way of treating the human race without trial, evidence or mercy

5) ALUUCRACY - Government of barbarians, by the barbaric for the barbarians.

6) ALUUISM - The political barbaric ideology of barbaric practice

7) ALUUISH - Having the appearance of ALUu

U̶̲̥̅̊ no sabi copy. U̶̲̥̅̊ stil copy d person name join.

ptaller: Akpors walks into a bar and says to bartender give
four shots of your best scotch right now. The
bartender pours them up and sets them in front of
the man. The man slams back all four of them one
right after the other.

Bartender says "man you must be in a hurry"

Akpors says "you would be to if you had only
50 Naira."

U̶̲̥̅̊ wud be too if U̶̲̥̅̊ had only #50. Laff won make me laff small small(LWMMLSS). U̶̲̥̅̊ try

Mtscheew! Why I wake up 4ds thread? Abeg, which year be dis?

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