₦airaland Forum

wengerjay: A plane was abt to crash with 5 passengers on board and only 4 parachutes
The first passenger said,"i'm Lionel Messi,the world number 1 footballer.FIFA needs me,i cant afford to die."So he took the first pack and left the plane.
The second,Hilliary Clinton said,"i am the wife of former US president.Im the mst ambitious woman in the world,i was also a NY senator,presently d state sec general to US and a potential president of d US."So she too grabbed a pack and left the plane.
The third,Robert Mugabe said,"im the president of Zimbabwe and i ve 13 million helpless ppl who always look to me.Above all im the cleverest president of Africa,and its ppl wil nt let me die." So he put a pack on his back and jumped out of the plane.
The fourth,Nelson Mandela,says to the fifth passenger,a 10-year old Chinese schoolboy,"i'm old and have lived a fruitful life,God will decide my fate.So i'll let you have the last parachute." The boy said,"it's okay,there is a parachute for you too,Africa's cleverest president has taken my school bag.

[img][/img]

valicious1: D joke dry as hin grandma tot.o take dry.

Dnt U̶̲̥̅̊ tnk dat's too extreme?

valicious1: Guy akpos no 4rm ghana, Na nigerian & your joke no funny infact e dry pass your granmama to.to.

Na wa o. Wetin concern hin grandma with d joke?

I first chuckled for a while then began 2 laff real hard. Luv it bro. Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​

Triple Shittttt! I can't believe I actually read this till d end. 4 taking my 0.5 minutes, I hereby close this thread

Truth be said. A larger percentage of us youths are actually ђã†̥ ur boss has inferred. I'll only say U̶̲̥̅̊ should not less be concern but be the best in ђã†̥ever U̶̲̥̅̊ have set out for; taking up challenges to effectively change ur understanding & environment.

However, the problem isn't naming it; its finding the solution all together as a force. I think Your boss has failed in that.

Rovely sing! It is dey alrit




Sakordie keep bursting dat Ghanian flavour. Liken the song

To text U̶̲̥̅̊ slap

Na wa o! Wetin I no go see for nairaland. well, topic na topic sha. As 4me, d User is most friendly.

Some annoying BB updates (e concern U̶̲̥̅̊?)

There are 63 verses in the bible that talked about images $ until U̶̲̥̅̊ read them not as a novel or defense mechanism, U̶̲̥̅̊ may continue to wallow in ignorance.

Its important for U̶̲̥̅̊ to know that there are so many knowledge of God that U̶̲̥̅̊ can't wrap within ur small head. And no Christian(if U̶̲̥̅̊ mean Catholics) worship any image(s).

A quick question: Ordinarily as a Christian, Each time U̶̲̥̅̊ see a cross, on street corners, churches, stickers, books or anywhere, ђã†̥ comes to your mind?

Do U̶̲̥̅̊ meditate on how Your sins were nailed to that/a cross hence a call for change of ur evil actions?
If U̶̲̥̅̊ do constantly reminisce on Christ's victory on the cross when gazing @ a picture or a carved wood of a Cross, doesn't that make U̶̲̥̅̊ a worshiper of that cross or Christ?

I guess U̶̲̥̅̊ wouldn't understand as ur hearts and mind still needs development.

Well, its a waste of time trying to figure out ђã†̥ is right or wrong for God. ђã†̥ he has called U̶̲̥̅̊ to do is to worship him with a summarized commandment; Love God with all ur mind, soul and strength; And love ur neighbor as yourself.

Its more stupider for you to see the stupidity in others coz there may be more to the obvious. Instead, I'll enjoin U̶̲̥̅̊ to focus more on how ur ways can be meaningful to strangers even with strange doctrines or language and your neighbors hence the name of God be praised.

I rest  case

This yoke don dey b4 'd 3 idiots'. so d OP copy am 4rm where e dey b4.

berylLOL: hehehe and i assure you, if they see this, u are officially on their 'to be banned' list.

True. Its long time coming anyway. Then they will justify me plight of how 'powerful' we tnk we are in our little corners

berylLOL: lmao..ohh I cee. But y didnt they just change it to come instead of precipitate..those MODs though..

God bless U̶̲̥̅̊. Exactly my question when I noticed it but U̶̲̥̅̊ knw hw 'powerful' we tnk we are when we are given little corner †̥o manage. We want †̥o exert authority. I hp one d MODs see this.Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ na really ministry of defense

Each tym U̶̲̥̅̊ write C.U̶̲̥̅̊.M, d computer changes it to precipitate. D word is a synonym for kunu wey dey come out 4person body. so for non-vulgar sake, C.U̶̲̥̅̊.M is censored. So my guy @ OP, instead of using C.U̶̲̥̅̊.M for come, just use com

achi4u: mr Dumex.

you try but remove that hiv.

Guy la informa-son I gv. Its not insult or trying 2 say ђã†̥'s not. Go get ur facts abt d infection in Nigeria and tell me ur findings. 4rm 1st state to the 3rd. Make I remove am put wetin?

Kunlegzy: dumexx u remember me kunlegzy

My broda, I just finish eba now and d tin dey high me. Is this kunle in my platoon? Wey nearly beat okereke-referee 4 our match 4camp? Kunle wey no come my show? Kunle wey dey AI? We still see 4 POP?

I was among the Batch 'B corper dat past out june 2012. Served in Ebonyi, Ezza South Onueke 2b precise. Well I'd say camp life is ђã†̥ U̶̲̥̅̊ make out of it. 4me it was d best experience ever coz I was among d comedians that performed on a regular bases. Infact, d best of the best comedian. Ask the camp Compere- Mr Okereke when U̶̲̥̅̊ get†̥ 2 camp.I even had a show Nov 6th 2011 titled "Laff Tax". My record is there.

Housing is a bit cheap. #1,300-#1,600 per month. It also depend on where U̶̲̥̅̊ are posted after camp. Abakaliki is preferable coz its d state capital & that's where most of the banks are.

Afikpo, where U̶̲̥̅̊ 'll be camping is also a nice place æ
as there superb lodges are provided for corpers in Afikpo North. Other than these two places, Ebonyi is really challenging. A major disadvantage is dat most of them are English illiterate; even in their schools but U̶̲̥̅̊ hv to be patient with them as that's one of ђã†̥ U̶̲̥̅̊'ll be doing there.
Most houses lack toilet and am sure any vicinity Corper's are, there is provision 4 dat. I stayed in the Igwe's palace in Onueke where everything was provided. Although, As big as d Igwe is, we still paid 4 accommodation and many self providing things.
U̶̲̥̅̊ most hv heard people saying that Ebonyians eat people, well don't gv it a second taught coz its not true. They may be stingy though and can be very hostile. Respect however is accord Corpers except if U̶̲̥̅̊ go beyond borders.

It will interest U̶̲̥̅̊ 2knw however dat night life is not encouraging there but there are nice looking places U̶̲̥̅̊ can visit mostly in Abakaliki. Places like Women Development Centre(WDC), Spring lake $ salt spring Hotel, Bush bar @d stadium, Exotic hall, Fatilami Park etc.

The state pays #5000 and dey pay it every 4 months if U̶̲̥̅̊'re in govt school. Some pay on a monthly bases. By the Secondary Education Board(SEB).

Let me stp here so dat U̶̲̥̅̊ can experience the rest ursef.
Advise: plz drnk only treated water or pure water. Dnt kp late night. For guys, dnt mess wt their girls coz Ebonyi is the highest HIV infested state in naija. Abstinence is d key but if U̶̲̥̅̊ most 'do', latex isn't expensive.
Get cash @ hand every 2wks coz banks are only in Abakaliki $ Afikpo.
Join National Association of Catholic Corpers(NACC) or RCCF. NAMC is for muslim corpers.
Ebonyi water is a bit salty dats Y its called the salt of the nation coz there is abundant of salt there. If U̶̲̥̅̊'re lucky to stay where bore hole water is, gud luck but still use dettoite as disinfectant.

Corpers they form well well so if U̶̲̥̅̊ most arrange akpako, let it be a Corper. No worry, d money nor fit buy motor so save for bizness nor be motor

Wish U̶̲̥̅̊ a peaceful Service year.

anodebe: A black man entered a
restaurant with a bag of
bananas. He sat next 2 a
white man who had a baboon
pet. After a while the black
man had 2 visit the toilet so
he asked the white man 2
safe keep his bag of
bananas. When he returned
he found his bag empty and
asked the white man where
his bananas went. The white
man pointed @ his baboon
pet and said, "Ask your
brother, he ate them."
The black man said nothing
but sat down wheezing with
wrath. Later the white man
also had 2 visit the toilet so
he asked the black man 2
watch his baboon 4 him. The
black man agreed. When the
white man returned he found
his baboon dead and with
great anger asked the black
man why he had killed his
baboon. The black man
smiled @ him and said, "It's
family matters, don't
interfere!"
For more jokes like this page www.facebook.com/tonison.news

U̶̲̥̅̊ nor see wetin start ds thread?

Valiantvaliant: 012
Bush and Condaleesa rice
George Bush: "Condoleeza! Nice
to
see you. What's happening?"
>Condoleeza Rice: "Sir, I have the
report here about the new
leader of
China." >George: "Great. Lay it on
me."
>Condoleeza: "'Hu' is the new
leader of China."
>George: "That's what I want to
know."
>Condoleeza: "Yes." what I'm
telling you."
>George: "I mean the fellow's
name."
>Condoleeza: "Hu."
>George: "The guy in China."
>Condoleeza: "Hu." >George:
"The new leader of
China."
>Condoleeza: "Hu."
>George: "The Chinaman!"
>Condoleeza: "Hu is leading
China."
>George: "Now whaddya' asking
me for?"
>Condoleeza: "I'm telling you Hu
is
leading China."
>George: "Well, I'm asking you.
Who
is leading China?"
>Condoleeza: "That's the man's
name."
>George: "That's whose name?"
>Condoleeza: "Yes."
>George: "Will you or will you
not
tell me the name of the new
leader of China?"
>Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
>George: "Yassir? Yassir Arafat is
in China? I thought he was in
the
Middle East."
>Condoleeza: "That's correct."
>George: "Then who is in
China?"
>Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
>George: "Yassir is in China?"
>
>Condoleeza: "No, sir."
> >George: "Then who is?"
>
>Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
>
>George: "Yassir?"
> >Condoleeza: "No, sir."
>
>George: "Look, Condoleeza. I
need to know the name of the
new leader
of >China. Get me the Secretary
General of the U.N. on the
phone."
>Condoleeza: "Kofi?"
>George: "No, thanks."
>Condoleeza: "You want Kofi?"
>George: "No." >Condoleeza:
"You don't want
Kofi."
>George: "No. But now that you
mention it, I could use a glass of
milk.
And >then get me the U.N."
>Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
>George: "Not Yassir! The guy at
the U.N."
>Condoleeza: "Kofi?"
>George: "Milk! Will you please
make the call?"
>Condoleeza: "And call who?"
>George: "Who is the guy at the
U.N?"
>Condoleeza: "Hu is the guy in
China." >George: "Will you stay
out of
China?!"
>Condoleeza: "Yes, sir."
>George: "And stay out of the
Middle East! Just get me the guy
at the U.N."
>Condoleeza: "Kofi."
>George: "All right! With cream
and two sugars

Na wa o! I prefer the audio sha

Valiantvaliant: 002
NAMING CEREMONY
Akpos insisted that his first child
must bear his name. So on the day
of naming....
Rev: Which name would you like
your child to bear?
Akpos: With smiles all over his face
he said, Akpos!
Rev: No! He has to bear an English
name.
Akpos: Ok oh, Akposky!
Rev: Listen, your son should be
named after a saint in the bible.
Akpos: Nawa oh, which kind
wahala be this??
Ok oga pastor, my son will bear St.
Akpostus.

Nicest

Members of "Jama’atul Ahlis Sunnah Lidda’awati Wal Jihad". Sounds 2me like "jabulani futbal team". Na cease-fire U̶̲̥̅̊na won do abi na cease Bombing? Nonsense! Why stop now? Is it becoz a Governor is yet 2be prosecuted, U̶̲̥̅̊ go out bombing places? Mumucious imbeciles, wait make I catch U̶̲̥̅̊ 4dat hole wey U̶̲̥̅̊ dey. Boko hadiot! Mtsheewwww!

ITbomb: ^^^ u win

Lol​L̳̿☺Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇☺L̳̿​ . I dnt mean it a bad way. 'Just need U̶̲̥̅̊ 2surf here first b4 posting lyk U̶̲̥̅̊ commented in hurricane akpos thread.

kabba7: THE MAN COULD HAVE BITTEN MORE THAN HE CAN CHEW

U̶̲̥̅̊ just spoke my mind. He may have been found wanting and was asked †̥o resign †̥o save face. If for integrity purpose, Let him spill the reason he resigned.

All these yoke U̶̲̥̅̊ don lie abt akpors. Wait, I don gv Akpors ur house address. U̶̲̥̅̊ go explain all these yoke †̥o am.

Welcome 2 fastest poster

https://www.nairaland.com/1088937/gbaguan-century-see-what-transpired


[img][/img]

It is a common norm in Nigeria that one should respect elders no matter the side of the offense one is on. In achieving this, many aspects are check mated so that one is not found wanting. Of course in the doings of man, the gift of both hands(right and left) are simultaneously involved; working together sometimes independently all to achieve a set gaol.
It is however common in our societies today that, when it comes to passing/given money, plate, phone, pen, paper, pot; any item at all to someone and mostly the elderly, the right hand should be used in doing so. And if you perform homo task using the left hand, you get punished or rebuked some how. Leaning on this, my plight then is:

- Who made the right hand a must use in passing/given any item to anybody, be it from a lad to a lad or from young to old and vice versa?

- Why is it termed "Disrespectful" when the left hand is used to perform the mentioned task?

It is my understanding that people who are right handed have the left part of brain orchestrating their doings and the right part of the brain, orchestrating that of those left handed.(Dunno how true this is but I hope the scientist will have their say on this).

If the above statement is correct, should we now blame the orchestra (God) for his endowments? Should you not spare the rod because a child gave U̶̲̥̅̊ an item with the simplest humility of intent using the left hand? Or because it is "Our Culture", we should forcefully change a perfected way of handling things to suit our right-hand culture?

Reading between the lines you will discern that I am saying it doesn't matter which hand is used to pass an item across hence people who force the use of the right-hand refrain from such act. One may say "it is in our culture and may be hard to start talking of change now". Well, it was also in our culture to kill twins in the early days and that was abolished and a new way of life was/is embraced.

Anyways, I guess that's ђã†̥ makes us Nigerians. We try to mole a child to be conscious of right hand doings even if s/he is left-handed so as to be Independent of choice and full of hand using dexterity when fully grown.

So, does it matter if a right-hand or left-hand is used to pass an item to you?

Am seeing it 4d 1st tym. Kudos @OP.

U̶̲̥̅̊ wey young, how U̶̲̥̅̊ take know say d joke old pass d poster?