This is an exclusive. Mods, kindly publish on front page, please. Everyone deserves to know.

It was Tuesday August 27 and another lifeless day filled with uncertainties, inconsistencies and a shameful lack of direction at Monalisa, the white elephant magazine misadventure of Lanre Nzeribe and Monalisa Chinda. Lisa had suddenly gone AWOL for close to a month from her ceremonial publisher’s seat, staff were being owed two months’ salary and Lanre was stalling. He rarely showed up in the office and whenever he did, he barely spoke with anyone before he would zoom off again in his black Maserati. Outside, he was always conscious to give off a deceptive public image of the hip ‘big boy’ and perfect gentleman to camouflage his real insensitive, aloof, condescending and obstinate sides.

Back to the farce at 19 Ademola Adetokunbo Street, Victoria Island (Chase Mall). After their publicised breakup, there were whispers Lisa had reconciled with Lanre and was coming back to her ceremonial seat. The ‘news’ cheered up some of the junior staff. It wasn’t surprising because to some degree, she was the life of the party in the company with her chirpy, free-spirited, girl-next-door, almost simpleton nature. Some of the workers wanted to buy coloured cardboard and decorative materials and another one got external speakers from outside the office. The driver had angrily left the company two weeks earlier because he said Lanre paid him N25, 000 as salary instead of N40, 000 they had agreed, so I offered to drive them to the store.

While waiting at the park of the megastore, I glanced at my wristwatch. It was 3pm. The ‘party’ was ready, but no word yet from the ‘red carpet’ guest. I decided to call her.

“Hello Keshi, what’s happening in the office?” she asked.

“Nothing, really,” I replied and hesitated to gauge her mood. “…just that some of the staff are excited you’re coming back and are planning a small welcome for you.”

“Oh, no ooo. Who said I’m coming back? I’m not ooo. I’m not talking with Lanre. I don’t know what they’re talking about,” she answered tongue-in-cheek.

A fading façade

Let me pause here and introduce myself. My name is Kelvin Keshi and, until Thursday August 29, was the Assistant Editor of Monalisa Magazine. Lisa and Lanre had hired me sometime in April, on the recommendation of a mutual friend, to help set up a trendy lifestyle magazine that would in no time set the pace in its genre. Even though it was an onerous task, I was set for the challenge and knew I could draw from my skills and experience to deliver on their request. I earnestly set off for work, most of the time multi-tasking as editor, administrative and human resources manager and working late into the night. Incidentally, I had another offer from an Abuja-based company to be an Assistant Editor and Lagos bureau chief of a political magazine but I turned it down on the excuse that I just got engaged with a similar job and wanted to give it 100 percent.

I remember the several meetings I had with Lanre, Lisa and the mutual friend – sometimes lasting till 10:30 pm – to discuss and deliberate on issues like editorial thrust, philosophy, mission, vision, target demography, templates, sectionalisation, themes, pagination, story ideas, online presence, USPs, advert generation, circulation and distribution and staffing for the magazine. In all of these sessions I noticed almost everyone else was shallow about what they really wanted; but after much prodding, Lisa said she‘d like a lifestyle magazine with a mass appeal. Truth is, they were largely vague about the new magazine concept, but I still tried to decrypt their nebulous ideas, concretised, gave life and substance, documented and presented to them.

But as it would appear eventually, that was all Lanre wanted from me: to use me to set up the magazine and then whip up and amplify inexistent and inconsequential issues along the way as convenient alibis to sever the working relationship. I first suspected when he issued three-month temporary employment to the first batch of staff and arbitrarily fixed salaries without giving room for negotiations. When I questioned it, he said salaries would be reviewed upwardly at the end of the three months and permanent employment letters issued. Lies!

Also in breach of initial discussions before I agreed to resign a job and join him, he affixed the title ‘Assistant Editor’ to my name instead of ‘Editor.’ Curiously, after all editorial work had been concluded, he introduced his sister, Ejine, as ‘Editor’ and requested me to forward all edited materials to her. Another devious stunt by Lanre to sell and credit my intellectual work to someone else. Ingenious! This is the true Lanre. (You’ll wonder why this guy cannot maintain five seconds of eye contact. Psychologists, go figure. And no, he isn’t shy). It was the same manipulative ploy he used against the first Fashion Editor, Margaret that forced her to resign angrily after he paid her N50, 000 less than the agreed sum on the sly excuse that she didn’t write enough articles. Amusingly, his current ‘Fashion Editor’ and ‘Creative Director’ cannot boast of a single story in the magazine!

I only fear for some people. But I guess the saying ‘once bitten, twice shy’ doesn’t ring a bell for everyone. Ejine never showed up in the office once and her editing via e-mails was just so-so, forcing me to re-edit again.

Lanre also asked that since stories for the first edition were completed, my team and I should write for subsequent editions which I obliged him out of trust. As I discovered later, his wily game plan was to get as much intellectual and editorial contents out of me for subsequent editions before he schemes me out of the set-up. (Round of applause dude, but like the Warri man would say, ‘Lanre, this time, u don dive rock.’).

He who pays the piper…

The next day, Lisa was back in the office and to her glorified seat after a month forced hiatus. Lanre too was there, as happy as a lark – or more fittingly, like a little boy whose stolen toy had just been found. They wanted to meet separately with some staff members over some petty non-work related issues Lanre had deliberately sensationalised with willing pawns to create distractions and play out his script of getting rid of me after I’d created a working structure for him.

Lanre repeated those same trivial lines - about some staff having tiffs, being emotionally attached to each other and some people not working enough. …The same worn-out quibbles he had rehashed over and over again and magnified as excuse also not to pay salaries. For the benefit of doubt, all editorial assignments for the first issue had been completed, edited and designed on the template and he had no complaints about that. In assigning stories, editing them or relating with my team, I operated with a spirit of fairness, objectivity and balance; the very sacred principles of ethical journalism.

Only the pictures and images were outstanding. He had hired a flashy and dreadlocked mannequin ‘Creative Director’ with zero media experience or knowledge and side-lined the professional freelance photographer that was initially engaged for magazine images. But it was taking Mr ‘Luxury’ forever to get the job done. He was an overly ambitious, smooth-talking, I-know-it-all-and-should-lead-the-team kind of guy. He understood Lanre’s self-centred language of luxury and elitism and fully explored it to manipulate him to take some drastic decisions, including his breakup with Lisa.

Chuks (the guy’s name) said Lanre had handed over the project to him and he was ecstatic about it. He told me Lanre said he (Chuks) was now ‘in-charge’ of the project and could sack anyone he wanted. He said Lanre had been having private meetings with him and told him he wanted to lay me off. I felt offended and asked why. He was rambling on I ‘not being able to lead the team’ or ‘being incompetent.’ How? What insult! Was the magazine not ready for the first issue, from an editorial point? Were my stories watery and substandard? Like Lanre when I confronted him (with due deference though), Chuks was incoherent.

True to the assertion, Lanre cut off communication with me, and without a cogent justification, gave off a body language that suggested he was done with me. All of these were after I’d laid the foundation that none of them had the knowledge or experience to do.

I knew Lanre’s game plan. He (and his ilk) only sees people as tools; so Chuks blind ambition was a perfect diversion and pawn until he’s filled and needs to go on to the next meal. Chuks kept changing concepts and philosophies at will midway through production and walking through a maze. He was what you might call inefficiently busy (maybe eye service or in Warri lingua, ‘forming activity’). The team was groping in the dark. They had no idea. It was three months and the debut issue was not out, except my team’s editorial contents that were 100 percent complete. Where in the world does a greenhorn photographer-turned-Creative-director-overnight lead a magazine project? Without a single previous experience? It was a cul-de-sac!

Laughably, they want to build the fantasy magazine on the stories my team and I had painstakingly researched and written. But I have my aces up my sleeve. I’ll come to that later. On behalf of his future victims, I want to change Lanre’s (and his ilk) skewed and twisted use-and-dump immoral business beliefs and gimmicks.

But I digress. Back to Lanre’s merry-go-round ‘luxury’ magazine house. Sneakily, he blamed the editorial unit still for the delays. ‘How, sir?’ I asked him exasperatedly. But he kept prevaricating. How dumb did he think everybody was! If he thinks he could buy people’s voice and opinion and maybe love, I wonder what makes him think integrity, intelligence and grit are for sale too.

He had obviously schooled Lisa on what he wanted – of course without the underlying motives – and she was already playing the tunes he dictated while putting on a flaky bold face. Classic Lisa! Even when it seems she finally has an opinion of her own, it’s always shaded by Lanre’s ego-fuelled preferences and biases which often border on his crave for a God-like reverence and being ensconced in his little elitist burble world. God help you if Lisa agrees with you on a matter in private and Lanre has a differing opinion later. She’ll deny you flatly.

The lies you didn’t know

She was back on the project and they were suspending the editorial unit, she announced to me in Lanre’s presence. Rather than being miffed, I was amused and felt pity for this stunted project. In the weeks Lisa went missing, Chuks had suggested to Lanre that to publish a ‘luxury magazine for upper class citizens,’ as they myopically re-termed it midway, he doesn’t need the editorial unit on full-time (Huh? Tell me about it. Definitely, another world first!).

Not surprisingly, Lisa did a volte-face and agreed – a sharp contrast to our discussions on phone when she was away on protest, long before it became public.

“I know there’s a problem. You’ve not been in the office for two weeks now. Please what’s happening?” I had enquired.

“It’s a very deep problem, Kelvin. Chuks wanted pictures of naked girls in the magazine and Lanre is on the same page with him, but I don’t want to be part of any of that. He told Lanre to remove me as publisher and face of the magazine and that the magazine project can go on without me, and would you imagine Lanre agreed? He’s changing the magazine at will and spiritually manipulating Lanre. Chuks is illuminati. He’s evil and God will scatter them.”

“But I don’t understand why Mr. Lanre has stopped communicating with me. Does he have any complaints about my work?” I asked, deliberately sidestepping the rash of issues she raised.

“No. Your writings are standard and OK for any standard magazine anywhere,” she replied in measured tones. She paused and then asked, “Are they still planning to use my name as the title of the magazine?”

“I can’t say categorically; Mr. Lanre doesn’t talk with me much. But Monalisa’s still the name on the template.”

‘’I can’t allow them use the name I built as a brand over the years. How can I take it back?”

“Just get it registered with the Copyright Commission and the National Library. And if they still go ahead to publish the magazine with the name, you can report them and the government agencies will take it from there.” I shrugged and paused. I didn’t want to be part of this any longer. It was clear too many things were wrong at once. “But I didn’t bargain for all these…” I complained.

“I’m sooo sorry, Kelvin. I’m really sorry about how everything turned out…” Her voice was tired.

“What are you going to do now?”

“I just want to leave the country to clear my head. Later, I’ll work on my project, a tv talk show.”

“Great. Although I wished you guys would reconcile; it would be great for the magazine. You’re the brand they wanted to leverage on. Most new magazines don’t last beyond a lifespan of six months because certain key elements are missing.”

“No; I’m not coming back. It’s a deep spiritual problem.”

Two weeks later, Lisa was back and giving her nod to Lanre’s baseless grudge against me. But that was OK; the atmosphere was suffocating already. One week later, I sent Lanre an SMS requesting for my salary and that I had other engagements that wouldn’t allow me frequent visit to his office to recover his debt to me. He felt offended. “I advice (sic) that all communication from you should be in writing and directed to the company, please do not use this channel to reach me again,” his reply read in part. I sensed the Nigerian typical case of social class bullying.

It’s half time whistle

Piqued, I called Lisa to complain. But she told me to stop calling her too. She told me she was with him when my message came into his phone. “I don’t even know why I’m dignifying you with a response,” she added cheekily. Such a cocky submission from Madam ‘Celebrity’ and ‘Superior.’ But I knew that attitude: the tame voice of Jacob and the wild, arrogant hand of Esau – as always.

Well, I have a piece of advice for them too: THEY SHOULDN’T BOTHER PUBLISHING THE MAGAZINE WITH THE STORIES IN THE TEMPLATE ALL OF WHICH I EDITED, EXCEPT THEY DON’T MIND PUBLISHING STALE ARTICLES. Rather, Lanre should tell whichever ‘editor’ he plans to name on the masthead to get a new set of writers write new stories for his or her editing for the magazine. I will never allow Lanre credit my intellectual work to another ‘editor.’ It’s a promise because all the stories and articles are with me and I will publish them online and in newspapers and magazines before his magazine goes to press.

Already my lawyers have slammed them with a court notice over the monies they owe me. Lanre (and Lisa too) probably thinks I’ll be cowered by the ‘might’ of his wealth and high-powered connection. They also probably believe that as ‘upper class citizens’ – as they have classified their stillborn magazine – I should beg, grovel and lick their boots in exchange for the ‘favour’ of being given MY OWN MONEY. But they fall into the common trap some people make when relating with ‘unknown’ persons. Asides, an ‘unknown’ cannot be stereotyped.

Lanre and Lisa have had their time in the sun to play, trampling at will on my right, dignity and pride. But the half-time whistle has gone and it’s substitution time. It’s my time to play on the field and I sooo want to score!

This nation is dangerously on the precipice with a young generation of dye-in-the-wool tribal bigots, in spite of their education. Sadly, the old generation has successfully passed on the poisoned gene &politicians are subtly fanning the embers of division. This is why a strong leader figure is needed in Nigeria &many racist public commentators, including here on Nairaland, would have bn charged with sedition, hate speech &genocidal sentiments. Nigeria beware, remember Rwanda 1994. This was how it slowly started. So many little minds around here & they all aspire to be politicians tomorrow. No wonder we are stagnated as a country wit most of them secretly intolerant &harbouring hate. Is this this thread not even about Niger State. Most of u here are workers, ministers or elders in d church or mosque. Would Jesus be so hateful of other ppl, no matter the 'justfication.' Shame!

op, like are u kidding me? wat is it wit nigerians & their 'worship' of military sef. it gets to d heads of all those little stupid soldiers boys &they start to misbehave. if u are in d army, u wil be his boss if u are a graduate. soldiers' & policemen first weapon of attack is to intimidate u. NEVER ACT INTIMIDATED! Look him boldly in d eye & cooly but confidently make your point. if he stil tries to break u down psychologically, act even bolder. By then he wil realise u know ur rights & he wil slow down. Stupid boys acting silly cos they are wearing a uniform. their ogas are usually more civil cos they know d law better &d consequences of breakin it by molestin innocent citizen. take it from a media professional who sees & interracts wit junior & senior officers in d course of work &commutin Lagos.

it's true; contrary to growing beliefs, LEADERS ARE BORN, not made (Jesus, Joseph, David, Daniel, Samuel, Mandela etc). There are somethings which come naturally to them, just as skills like writing, drawing, football, swimming etc are innate in others. The 'leaders are MADE' part (partly true) is the experiences which help them become better at leading, just as experience plays a huge role in anyone's efficiency and effectiveness at what they are good at naturally.

Denrele, Beverly (is dat even her real name?), Charlieboy etc are indications that indecency, oddity and immorality are the currency of fame in Nigeria. Whenever I watch these guys at public events, i wonder wat values they really represent. Wat a dysfunctional society!

Only 5 home-based players will join the squad for the Malawi match. The full home-based squad listed here will then play a friendly with Burkina Faso three days later in Kaduna in preparation for the CHAN tournament in SA in January. I think Keshi really wants to add CHAN to his laurels.

I can predict the five home-based players that will join the main squad for the Malawi match: Chigozie Agbim, Godfrey Oboabona (He's not yet foreign-based as he's still processing transfer to d Turkish league), Sunday Mba, Azubuike Egwueke & Solomon Kwambe.

How is this news in Nigeria? Hypocrisy of the highest order! Lastma are the worst, and am still planning to film a big fish and post it on youtube (But then, wats d use anyway? I talk so much less these days. My action wuld speak at d right time). The police were made even more rotten by Lastma crooks. They are the only reason I wish PDP wins Lagos State. Sorry to digress. But from the President down to the traffic controller and commentators here, LET HE/SHE WHO HAS NOT ABUSED HIS POST TO DEMAND BRIBE (or some other 'favours' like sex) BEFORE CAST THE FIRST STONE. There just a few decent ppl in positions of authority and until these ppl outnumber the other divide, the society will continue to be a cesspit of stench & disorder. Let all guilty officials (whether the President or IG) sack themselves first before they dismiss srg. Omeleze or watever his name is.

Junkie, yellow journalism. Couldn't make any much sense from the 'article,'except speculations we already know. I can't believe this piece passed the desk of an editor worth his salt. Jumbled; mumbo jumbo. Nigerian journalists sha: so many reporters (basic he said, Jonathan said blah, blah style; few real writers.

This is especially to that stupid boy (or girl) called Chain blinger singing 'e dey pain u o kaka' and the rest of d ppl making murky & clumsy arguements in favor of d arabic inscription in d naira. TELL SANUSI AND WHOEVER CARES TO KNOW THAT, YES, THE ALL THE NAIRA NOTES WILL DEFINITELY BE REDESIGNED SOMETIME SOON IN THE FUTURE AND THE MAJOR FEATURE WILL BE THE REMOVAL OF ALL ARABIC, RELIGIOUS AND ETHNIC INSCRIPTIONS. ITS A PROMISE.

In as much as am a Xtian and ordinarily shuld applaud dis, I THINK THIS IS A VERY WRONG MOVE. why dat particular church? is dat d only church in d state? are those ones orphans or simply not 'favored' by d oga at d top? Wat wil others say? No matter how religious u want to project urself, a political leader must ensure he seperates religion and d state (in reality difficult, but shuld try). why not use d money to build youth skil acquisition centre, dat every youth in d state can benefit from. otherwise, dis is d height of bias by somone who shuld be for all in his state.

So on point, OP. When i see people shadowbox and dissipate energy on trivial matters, even on NL here, witout any intelligent & workable suggestions on how to solve them, it just amazes and amuses me. Obviously, it seems some have too much time on their hand to fritter away.

I've seen something like this before. It was at around airport turning, Ikeja and time was 9pm. It was drizzling too and ppl were eager to go home. The young guy (shuld be around 20) plugged his ears with an earphone and didnt know wen a train (a small one, i think d driver's detachments only moving at night) knocked his into a coma. There were few people at d bus stop and the boy was unconscious, just shaking his legs. This man here shuld thank God it was in d afternoon, but for dis young man it was at night at a scanty area and ppl were in a hurry to catch a bus home.

Up till a month ago, I'll say this question is balderdash. But wat do u make of a very close friend who died along with his wife in a ghastly motor accident on the way back from their own traditional wedding? UNDERLINE 'TRADITIONAL' (u know, African things) & WEDDING (a ghastly accident on his wedding day of all days?). D lady died instantly; he went into a coma and died two days later. Am not overly african spiriticism things-inclined, but i think this one is fetish. I mean, the vehicle was very likely charmed to get back at someone.

@OP, if Americans & Brits think d naija English drawl is too heavy & slow, then wat do they make of Ugadan, Zambian & some Kenyans' accent. Even me,sometimes i wonder if those guys are speaking English or their language. u wil need an interpreter for their English.A typical Calabarman or Hausaman english are d closest thing in naija. lol

All this back and forth between Inyanya and Yvonne is all a clever publicity stunt and only those who dont know how strategic media/PR works. Am in the media and I read a lot BETWEEN THE LINES. Here's a hint: don't just listen to wat people are saying; more importantly, listen to wat they're not saying. It's between the lines and that's the real truth they're trying to hide.

when d pikin grow up, make im change d name wit sharpally, sharpally wit immediate alacrity, including dat one wey dey giv anoda useless name, Blue Ivy. Crazy parents dat link d name of their kids to cult doctrines. Mtcheeew!

Why does this woman talk like this? Doesn't her husband teach her that if u're in the public eye, you must show decency, decorum and political correctness in your speech? All the talk about region, fighting, our turn etc are so embarrasing. In fact, I'm ashamed for her and Jonathan.

It's ironically, but among young ladies I kind of find the single mums more mature, caring and perceptive - key elements lacking in most single ladies. Interestingly, 50% of the single ladies and brides have committed abortions to cover up societal 'stain.' The other category of marriageable single ladies are those with genuine fear of God (not necessarily the ones that are 'workers' in some social churches & 'know-me-I-know-u' or 'paddy-paddy' clique churches like R**G ooo). Just my honest opinion. I don't talk much, but when I do I could somewhat be too blunt for comfort. Lol.

In my view, babyosisi has said it all: its all about being wit ur soulmate. Which begs d question: DO U BELIEVE IN SOULMATES? Will u find or wait for d one who has a surrreal yet natural connection wit u? And when u find him/her (there's a time, dont miss it), wil u stick wit him/her regardless of family pressures, tribal sentiments, status barricades etc. This is at d root of most divorces, marital problems, cheatings &late marriages (esp among ladies who miss their divine matches cos of flirting, sampling &mummy's pressure to marry a 'made' guy from d same ethnic zone).

WOMEN! WOMEN! WOMEN! D most crafty, cunning &deceptive creation. Pray u're wit a real woman wit d fear of God; otherwise u're done for. Only a NATURAL women can stand a man up on his wedding day. If it were a man dat has doubts about his bride, he wuld be straitforward &part ways wit her b4 d D day. Except for my mum, my sweetness &my unborn girls, i almost hated d femalefolk (no thanks to one evil girl called Pat &her numbskull sistas).

GAME OVER. NIGERIA WINS

There were 2 glaring penalties commited by Kenyan. Ref overruled it. Even their president, Uhuru Kenyata is on the field and checking his wristwatch. LOL

Meanwhile, Namibia-Malawi is ended. 0-0 FULL TIME

How did Oduamadi miss dat?

check out a Kenyan banner in d crowd: 'SOMEONE TELL NIGERIANS THE EAGLE CAN NEVER REACH THE STARS.'
Lol, we shall see

we're bak on d field.

D kenyan crowd is blindly confident, making deafening noise in d stadium. But if they really know football, from wat is hapeening on d field they shuld be afraid, instead of making noise cos they're ar at home. There's fear on d face of their assistant coach. Keshi is quitely optimistic. he and amokachi tho ar not really relaxed, but d kenyan sst coach looks more worried

SE are missing Moses. Ideye is missing Emenike. If d pitch was standard, Nigeria wuld hav bn 2-0 up by now

Kenyans are having this false confidence cos of d deafening noise of their crowd. But nigerians are showing more technical skills