₦airaland Forum

I can question whatever I like. Somebody is mourning thier dead mother and you come here and say his face will make you laugh at his suffering.

That is rubbish. I will say it again. Utter rubbish.

jmichlins:
you can say whatever you wish with your mouth but do not question my opinion

What kind of insensitive rubbish is this?

jmichlins:
Sadly some people like me will be laughing at that burial cause looking at bovi face go crack me. Imagine his face as he will be sad or crying and tell me why you will not laugh. RIP

And I'm entitled to my opinion of your opinion.

Why are you so defensive? So because someone comments on what you posted you must respond so pained?

I must now be a defender of the oppressed. It's because of people with your mindset that nigeria is not moving forward. When someone uses logic you respond with rubbish.

No discourse or intelligent opinions to move forward. Everywhere is filled with trolls like you.

chimah3:
Oshey!!! Defender of the oppressed. Last I checked everyone is entitled to their opinion. I choose not to believe her bullock. Beat me please! Shior!!

If you don't want to give advise why take the time to come here and chastise her. Simply ask about the context of the slap rather than insulting her and women in general. In order to give sound advise you need to collect as much information about the issue at hand. So you can politely ask her for more information about her story or keep your insults to yourself.

You act as if you don't know that there are men who exist in the world that beat women without any provocation.

People like you tire me

chimah3:
Y not tell us what you did that made him slap you. You ladies can be stupid and always give one side of the story to play victims!! Abeg dey go jo!

Did you read what she typed? I belive in the ending of her story she inferred that he was the one who caused her hospitalization. Due to his beating he landed her in hospital. If this is true then, he is liable for her injuries and should be held accountable which includes paying for the hospital bill.

It's only because nigeria is lawless that he got away with his behaviour. In countries that are appropriately regulated when someone who is obviously battered visits the hospital the police are invited to investigate.

When in her writeup did she say that she wanted to be sprayed with gifts? She is expecting the man who brutalized her to pay for his actions, based on what she wrote. Do you have any humanity?

Raymondenyi:
Please modify your post, and try to improve on your written English, it is appalling to say the least, re-read your post, try to make necessary edition, present it more lucid and comprehensible for readers to offer their advice which you direly seek....




* modified*
Back to the topic; Madam do not marry him, not because he is not suitable for you, but rather you are not psychologically mature for marriage. A lady with the mentality of "if you don't pay my bills or spoil me with gifts, then you not the one" is definitely not psychologically ripe for marriage ...... also the hypothetical anecdote you tried using on him further reaffirms my stance on your immaturity........ so i'll as a matter of urgency admonish you take out time, forget marriage for now, and do some growing up before you venture into that esteemed institution called marriage which is often trivialise by kids of today.....



*for those quoting me on inanities, you are only wasting your time as i will not reciprocate the privilege*

Why won't she show herself? After all she has endured in that relationship. BOTH of them were wrong. The man is not innocent in this. Instead of finding happiness in his house he starts looking a woman outside who is dealing with a marriage crisis in her own home. Impregnates her thrice and denies his children. After all the rubbish the woman finally acts out of frustration. You're here saying she showed herself.

My guy, judge based on the facts. Don't go and condemn women as a whole. Who told this man to go and look for a second wife? On top of that a divorcee who he was committing adultery with? knowing she was married? Confiding in him.

Sometimes I start to wonder how people reason.

Soreza:
MMMMM,THIS IS WHAT MAKES GUYS DATE FOR 10 YEARS AND SCARED OF MARRIAGE,CUS NA AFTER MARRIAGE SHE DAY SHOW HERSELF.

Nigeria is so lawless. Why are we seeing these pictures? Are there no privacy laws to protect the identity of this woman? She's battling for her life and the hospital workers are sharing her pain for all to see.

It's ridiculous.

I know eh. I'm just sitting here laughing. It sounds like the gist that the village gossip tells you that they heard from someone who told someone who heard it from thier uncles sister cousins neices friend. Rubbish

TheArchangel:
The advent of journalism bullshits.

What sort of report is this? " The villagers put two and two together".....

What rubbish are you here spewing? You have the right to cheat? Nonsense. Your wife or girlfriend is suffering. Sorry for her.

iamrealdeji:
I know you're a typical ashewo,this is how they sound. Do you have to compare yourself with guys? Or are you the one that takes care of your guy's needs? Nothing goes for nothing. Guys have the right to cheat because we take care of you,but you have no right to cheat except if you're the one that spend in the relationship

The previous picture to me really looked like Christina milian in her am to pm days. It still looks like that to me.

Maybe it's the angle. But I'm not getting a ciara vibe from that pic. The girls don't even look that similar. My eyes are doing meee.

sukkot:
this is christina milian

https://www.hawtcelebs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/christina-milian-at-nasty-gal-melrose-store-opening-in-los-angeles_1.jpg

Ahahahahahahahaha. That's not Ciara. That's Christina milian

sukkot:
this na when she still be negro. now she a caucasian

https://nice-cool-pics.com/data/media/20/ciara_.jpg

Which religious responsibility? It even states in the Bible that it is good for man to remain to himself. Only because of sexuality that marriage was given to man.

If you want to get married no wahala. But stop claiming that it was forced upon you by God

Omotayor123:
Because, getting married is one of our social and even religious responsibility..
People tend to view unmarried adult (male and female) as socially irresponsible.

Though, marriage is not everything but we should endeavor to fulfill our responsibility!

Yes let's agree to disagree.

There is not a clarification for every single law or rule in the old testament and you know it. That is a bold overstatement.

Please dont over generalize. We are not God. There will always be questions about religion that man can not answer.

Until Jesus returns or calls us to heaven we will continue to ponder. He didn't just leave us in the dark but we don't have all the answers.


Anyways, let us agree to disagree.

postmann:
Good morning.
It's not easily summed up that way. Like I said before, the 10 comandments are of the old testament and JESUS didn't come to abolish it. And so many other old testament laws. For every single law of the old testament that needed clarification or outright cancellation, HE made clear while HE walked the earth.
A good example was the woman caught in adultery. So there was no need killing sinners. There are so many examples. HE just didn't leave us in the dark. And the new covenant is HIS blood shared once and for all, replacing the old one requiring animal blood.


But we cannot all agree on everything based on scripture. Hence I'll leave you with Philipians 3:15

Remain blessed.

Like I said before different branches of the Christian religion have distinctly agreed that although divorce is not promoted both male and female may divorce each other for infidelity as well as abandonment. I have done my own research on this and spoken to men and women of God.

If you happen to be Catholic I will say that the Catholic Church does not believe in divorce at all whether it be male or female. Regardless of what the Bible says. This just goes to show how powerful interpretation is. They chose to belive that the passage that states what God has put to get her let no man separate is stronger than the passage where Jesus specifically permits divorce on two grounds.

Also we can't just pick and choose what we don't want to accept in the old testament to our liking. This is why the jews do not acknowledge the new testament because they do not belive that Christ has come. It's either you're in the school of thought that Jesus came and abolished the old covenant or you're in the school of thought that he didn't. If you beleive that he did not abolish the laws then you MUST follow it. Did God tell you to stop the feasts and the sacrifices in his name? Did he tell you to stop killing homosexuals as it says in the old testament? There are soo may laws in the old testament that are outdated and hardly make sense in today's society.

you could also interpret that passage where Christ came to fulfill based on the prophecy in the old testament that stated that he was coming to make a new covenant. He is here to fulfill the prophesies. Coming to fulfill also means coming to complete. So a new beginning can be started. That is what Easter is all about.

My belief is clear as I stated that as prophesied when Jesus came to earth he created a new covenant. Whether you like it or not. Christians are gentiles. Unless you are a Jew that converted into Christianity we are not the original chosen people. That is the simple truth. But since Christs second coming he has included us and created a covenant that included us.

Like I sated previously. Let us leave it at that. We clearly disagree on certain issues. And that doesn't make me or you less of a person or less of a Christian as this issue is not fundamental to Christianity. Discourse is good to learn and grow. And also to accept that people interpret things differently and hold different viewpoints. The Bible is not written clearly at times. But we all have to wait until Jesus comes and takes us to heaven or rewrites the book. Until then intent is what truthfully matters. He who judges last which is jesus Christ will be able to look into our hearts and know that we did not intend to bastardize his will if that's what we did while living in earth.

I enjoyed discussing with you none the less. Have a blessed day

postmann:
Thank you for accepting my apologies.
No one is indeed perfect or have all the answers.
The scriptures isn't very straight forward. I believe GOD in HIS infinite wisdom allowed such that even satan read it and didn't fully understand and he had to murder CHRIST, falling into a trap set for him by GOD.

(1 corinthians 2:7-8

True, the old testament has many obsolete laws and because of this many christians have unduly indulge themselves in cutting out many old testament laws that still stands.
The feasts, sacrifices, offerings, laws of cleanliness and purification, and all other such distinctive outward commandment were abolished.

The 10 comandments which is ofthe old testament stands. And this is a reflection of GOD's moral law. And every other law that CHRIST didn't single out still stands.
Must people still ignore the sabbath even though this is clearly in the commandments and repeated several times through out scripture. But I won't talk about sabbath, it is quite beyond the scope of this thread.
CHRIST came to fulfill the law and not to abolish it. In other words, HE came to put straight that which isn't clear like polygamy or cancel by fulfilling, like sacrifices, purification requirements, etc.
(Matt 5:17-19)

Even when GOD deliberately singled the jews out to make as an example, to display HIS glory to other nations, other non-Jew's were practising GOD's law together with the Jews. The Jews were only an outreach to the entire human race.

The term "modern day Christians" has no biblical backing.The Word of GOD is live! Applicable for all times. It is behind us, right in front of us and ahead of us. It foretells what hasn't even come to be. GOD's moral law is completely unchangeable!


Now to fully understand marriage, there are many scriptures to visit and understand. There are many principles to understand. And you cannot visit marriage without going back to the first marriage and the principle of creation.

Heaven is like earth in many ways, I believe. That's why we as children of GOD are going through purification of soul and character so we might be fit to be entrusted with the charge of GOD's house.
The same vain, marriage was likened to the relationship between man and Christ. HIS blood has been shared and we are HIS. When a man fulfills a marriage right, the woman become his. It's a covenant irrevocable.

The quoted scriptures in Mark 10 : 11 cannot be used in assuming that a woman can divorce her husband over infidelity. It was only a repetition of matt 19:8. Matthew 5:32 is clear. The word "man" did not represent both genders.

In Genesis, GOD fought twice for Abraham, that his wife Sarah might not be defiled by two powerful kings at doffered occasions. Even though Abraham and Sarah were both careless. Now the case was different when Sarah proposed to Abraham her servant girl. GOD didn't intervene.
Even the GODless kings of Egypt and Cannan knew that once a woman is taken in marriage, it is final, save for death of her husband. Hence Abraham tried to save his life by passing as a brother to his wife Sarah. Because he knew that as long as he is alive, no one can marry his wife or defile her without serious spiritual consequences. Even the pagan gods were not neutral in this.


“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”

This is the 10th of the 10 commandment. It's implicative meaning is this: woman was created for man and belongs to man. And LOOK VERY CRITICALLY AT 1 CORINTHIANS 7: 10-11 ....IF SHE DOES LEAVE HIM LET HER REMAIN SINGLE OR BE RECONCILED TO HER HUSBAND.And appostle paul said, this command is from the LORD! ....verse 39 " A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives."
Paul's advice in 1cor 10:15 is only an advice as he stressed he didn't have a direct command from the LORD.

This teachings are hard to swallow because of the human heart which is baked hard in the furnace of pride.
As our relationship is with CHRIST, so it is between husbands and wives.
A woman cannot not just wake up and say she is divorcing her husband over infidelity. She can only separate from him and remain single.
As for men, they can't divorce their wives for any other reason save for infidelity.

Oh ok. Sorry. My apologies

Toks2008:
The comment you quoted was not for you.I was trying to explain the funny nature of many ladies who make comments.

I don't recall I ever insulted you. If I did I apologize I am stating my opinions based on the opinions you also posted.

I really don't like how you group females into one group as if they all act alike. You tend to generalize and I don't appreciate it. You state 'if ladies can learn how to articulate thier view without vulgarity"

Throughout this whole debate I have never once been vulgar. I don't like that. Please change that when you reply.

I originally answered your questions that if I had an unrepentant cheating husband who when confronted about his infidelity refused to change his ways then I would leave the relationship.

If as a woman I tried to meet my partner halfway and came to him in a respectful manner and told him how I felt about his actions and he refused to acknowledge them and try to mend the relationship. I would exit the relationship. What am I staying for?

Many times in marriages there are antecedents to why a spouse would go outside looking for sexual pleasure. There may be faults in the marriage and at times tthe woman could be at fault, but most times it's a joint fault of both parties. If I genuinely try to change and try to get my partner to compromise with me and he's unwilling. Then there is no relationship for me to stay for.

This is how I feel. There is no longer any trust, bond, or love left

Toks2008:
Why on earth wont i be open for discussions?

The question is; Must you insult to discuss?

If ladies expecially can learn how to intelligently articulate their views without vulgarity i guess it will be easier for sound arguements to take place.

And please i beg everyone who reads my threads to understand that i write pragmatically and not from my personal dogma.

I repeat,i hve never cheated on any woman in my life yet it does not change the fact on ground that most guys cheat on the woman in their lives so people should focus on the objectivity of this article and blot out the writer...only then can we have intelligent discussion.

The reasoning that a woman should divorce her cheating husband because he will get another wife is baseless to me.

Who cares if he finds another victim? The ex-wife has left because she is no longer compatible with the man and doesn't want to remain in a loveless and disrespectful union. Let him go and cheat on someone else.

If she likes she can get remarried. If she likes she can stay single. What is your wahala. She no want again. If she finds someone that makes her happier then good for her. You ppl are not Gods that can predict the future. The new husband may not cheat on the wife. Or maybe the new husband has enough respect for the wife that she never finds out If he cheats. God forbid. But Na wa o

At the end of the day. I hope when your wives cheat on you you berra stay in that marriage because she will go and find another husband when you leave ooooo.

How stupid does that sound? Leave ppl to make thier own decisions. Respect the fact that you disagree. If it's paining so much don't go and marry a girl who thinks like me. No be by force. Chai you people here are killing yourself because a few women don't agree with you.

Ok so I don't agree? And so? Will it kill you? Will you die? Relax. No need to start insulting one another. If you feel I will cry in marriage, lemme go and cry and face my problem. How will it effect your daily life. Biko. Relax.

You don't have to associate with women who think like me. When you see me coming shake your head and continue the other way. Haba.

Lerrus gist on something new. Shey you ppl hear about the Psquare wahala?

The Bible is against polygamy actually.

To be frank I don't understand why you created this thread. You aren't open to discussion. Why promote it just to ascertain your beliefs?

You should have just created a writeup of your opinions instead of posing a question.

It's ridiculous.

Toks2008:
The point im making is so clear...

The quran suports polygamy and the bible is not agai9nst it.

hile i will advice guys not to even think of taking a second wife due to the complexities,i will also advice men to be faithful to the woman they are married to but abeg does this change the fcat that a man can actually decide to marry more wives or even have a mistress? Definitely not.

So is it not foolishnes of the highest order t0 divorce a man because he cheats on you when infact this same man can marry as many wives as possible.

THE ONLY REASON I BELIEVE A LADY SHOULD LEAVE A MAN IS PHYSICAL ASSAULT AND I MEAN AN UNREPENTANT WIFE BEATER...Any lady who leaves a man because he cheats on her is a joker if she thinks she will find another man who wont cheat on her..FACT

i agree with your statement as well. I was just answering his questions as it seemed he would not take me seriously unless i quoted the bible in regards to divorce as he requested.

but i tire sha...if he no agree see my point then he never will. so ill just simply stop replying. i guess ill see how he responds.

jaybee3:
21st century women have equal opportunities so why should they accept/settle for less?

PS: y'all should stop with your nonsensical bible quotes geez. Marriage is an institution that people engage in irrespective of their religion so the topic should be viewed from morality and values angle which i strongly believe has nothing to do with religion

I would like to begin my accepting your apology. Thank you.

Nobody is perfect in religion, we are all learning and growing with each others help as well as through discourse.

In regards to my previous statement about the old testament, based on my understanding the old testament as well as the laws contained in them were given to the israelites (jews) and not the gentiles (modern day Christians) as means to govern them and keep them until the promise of a Savior for the world, a descendant from Abraham would be fulfilled. these laws were also put in place to keep the jews as a people distinct from the gentiles.

This was prophesied in the old testament:

Jeremiah 31:31 "BEHOLD, DAYS ARE COMING, DECLARES THE LORD, WHEN I WILL MAKE A NEW COVENANT WITH THE HOUSE OF ISRAEL AND WITH THE HOUSE OF JUDAH"

In the new testament:

Hebrew 8:13 "when he said "a new covenant" he has made the first obsolete. But whatever is becoming obsolete and growing old is ready to disappear"

Luke 22:20 " this cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood"

Based on these passages and a few more I was taught that these are some of the reasons why Christians for the most part do not follow the laws of the old testament as least not strictly. Based on the old testament we are not to eat shellfish, work on the sabbath which is actually begins on Friday evening to Saturday evening, but we Christians have moved our day of worship to Sunday. to be honest im not really sure what the truth is as vie heard different interpretations from different pastors and sunday school teachers and the like.

this debate on the rules of the old testament as it relates to Christians is a little controversial and no school or though or branch of the christian religion has come to agreeance over it. At the end of the day, i know that i mostly follow the teachings and laws of the new testament, and draw the wisdom of the old testament as well.

Please where does it say that women can not divorce men? I was told by my pastor that when the bible utilizes the word "he" it is to be interpreted in a plural form as when Jesus or one of the disciples are speaking to a group of people. we should only interpret "he or him" when they are specifically speaking about the male gender. if this isn't the case then the majority of laws and rules in the bible is not applicable to women at all. we have to keep in mind that in the new testament many of the laws regarding divorce was when the pharisees (which were men) were questioning Jesus about divorce and he replied to them. Unfortunately the bible is written as a biography of sorts from the interpretation of the disciples and prophets which were men. (meaning they will ask Jesus questions as it pertains to themselves and will record it as such, which i will add is NOT A PROBLEM TO ME)
Anyways, to the best of my knowledge there is no documented passage where a woman or group of women questioned Jesus about divorce.

But regardless in Mark 10:4-5
"they said "moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away, but jesus said to them. "because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this commandment"

Mark 10:11-12
"and he said to them, whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery"

This is the proof here that Jesus was talking about both sexes and their ability to divorce, though in this particular passage he does not mention the only reason for divorce which is adultery OR abandonment. He mentions that in Matthew 19:9 "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery" BUT also in Matthew 5:32 "But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery". Like i said before in THIS case this scripture is applicable to both men and women. This is how it has been interpreted by every church ive attended as well as every pastor ive ever asked as well as scriptural teaching i have read online.

and abandonment reason is which is found 1 COR7:15 "Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace,"

in the case of abandonment it is the other spouse who gets the divorce as they do not believe in the covenant of marriage as it pertains to the christian religion

Thanks

postmann:
Firstly, my apologies for saying you're not a good Christian. I drew that conclusion from your own error in saying the old testament scriptures I quoted are for jews only. That's flat out wrong.

2ndly, that statistics is universally applicable. Which is more conservative even in marriage, the US or Nigeria? Even a kid knows Nigeria is much more conservative. So judging from your logic, the satiatic will awinh very negatively against devorced women here.And thats a fact! Common sense dictates that a man or woman who can't stay in a first marriage is very unlikely to stay in the 2nd. And for the few percent of 2nd marriages that don't end in another divorce, chock with infidelity.

Like most women, you speak through your emotions and you are devoid of facts.

You should back up your claims form the bible where women can divorce since we now know that you're a good Christian. Women can ONLY separate from their husband but can't divorce. Until the death of their husbands, they remain bound to them.

This is not an attack as you claim. It is a statement of fact. And I don't hate women. But I know feminists are millenary nuisance.

And of course most 21st century women have a problem with truth when it comes to their boundaries.

I don't surport maltriment of women in marriage. Don't put that as an accusation against me. I never said that.

What I'm saying is simple enough for the humble, of course.

I didn't come poorly researched. I didn't research anything. I stated my opinion just like you are stating yours. Whatever stats you posted there are only related to the population of the United states which is vastly different to the over 200 million people of nigeria whi h has little to no stats available at this time. With a different ideology and view point of marriage.

I never claimed to be a liberated. That is your judgement. I don't see why you are attacking women for wanting to have a faithful husband. You do yourself a disservice by expecting women to tolerate so much injustice. Christ allowed for divorce on the grounds of unfaithfulness but you claim women can't divorce? Maybe you should read the Bible again.

Who are you to tell me whether I am a good Christian or not because I disagree with you on one point. Relax. This is just Naira land. We are having a debate, don't conclude on my devotion to a religion as you do not know me all. This is one spectrum of an outlook on one issue.

Anyways I don't want this to turn into hate speech. Let's agree to disagree. It is evident we were raised in different environments with different outlooks on life.

I don't plan on cheating on my husband and never will.i am a follower of Christ and let's leave it at that.

postmann:
Don't let my submission trouble you as is obvious from your reaction. You sounded as if I called you out as I let drop my hot oil.

You're not even a good Christian to begin with, since you claimed that my quoted scriptures are for jews only.

And you claimed I twisted the scripture. Why would I do that?

No, I didn't. I said it like it is and I knew it will infuriate "liberated" women like you.

And you came at me poorly researched. Otherwise there are some things you wouldn't dare say.

You claimed divorced men are more likely to stay in marriage than 1st timers. Well, according to US statistics 50% of 1st marriage survives. While 67% of second, and 73% of third marriages end. I think that relegates your claim of divorcees being more faithful to the trash can.

Oh, I never gave reason for men cheating as wanting his woman fresh. You read wrong. I meant men like their women fresh, so don't always see a divorcee as one.

Look, I put thinga mildly here. CHRIST came to abolish polygamy and divorcing for any other reason other than unfaithfulness.

Now take another bomb: women don't have the power of divorce! They can only be separated from their husbands. And if they do, they are to remain single!!!

CHRIST was speaking to MEN (not women) in Matthew 5:32 and Luke 16:18 when HE was talking about adultery. No woman has any right to divorce her husband and marries another over infidelity.
1 corinthians 7:11 has something also to say.

Now, I guess you'd look for something worse than a bigot to qualify me.

But I tell you the truth. Take back your arrogance. I see much hardship and unfulfilment ahead for feminists.

Ok I get your point now. Thank you

bayonino:
I really understand your point, he shouldnt have generalized, it just that the 70 % bad ladies are spoiling the remaining 30% that are good.

You came here to fight. Quoting and twisting the words of the old testament that is only applicable to jews and not christians for your benefit.

There are divorced women who have remarried and are content in thier marriages. If a man like likes his women fresh and still cheats on his wife then he viewed his wife as an object for sex just as a divorced women as per your logic.

Why are you spewing your opinions as facts? How do you know that most divorced men are not faithful? Have you done a quantitative research on a large sample of divorced men that can aid your misguided theory? I would argue that divorced men are probably more faithful that fist time married men as they are more likely to know what they are looking for in the institution of marriage. If they willingly left a marriage why enter another one if thier goal is promiscuity. But that's just my OPINION. As your epistle was your opinion that I obviously disagree with

I would also argue that the 21st century woman does not view herself as similar to man. they view themselves as different but equal and entitled to the same opportunities available to men. But again that's my humble opinion. Just because you don't agree with the opinions of the women on this thread doesn't mean you should come here and spew your hatred for the female gender as fact.

Quoting Bible verses from the old testament that no longer apply to christians and interpreting them in a way that you beleive make your point. Giving no context to the verses that come before or after it even.

You are a bigot. And don't like accepting the opinions of other people. Which is fine. Nobody is begging you to marry a woman from this century. You acknowledge that cheating is abhorrent but then state give excuses for the reason men cheat as wanting fresh women. Then viciously attack women who cheat as well as divorcees. But in your opinion a cheating woman is worse than a cheating husband. But not in the eyes of God. If you are going to quote the Bible then I suggest you quote from the new testament, that is what christians refer to in this day and age. Which also permits divorce on the grounds of adultery

FYI not all women divorce men do so due to infidelity, some do so due to spousal abuse. And any woman that is repeatedly getting hammered by her husband and beaten day in and day out should divorce that man. He won't change.

postmann:

Reading all the response from the contributing women makes me laugh.

Obviously the 21st century woman has taken her world in one giant stride with illusions and arrogance.

But one thing remains: IT IS A MAN'S WORLD! Pure and simple!

Hate me if you must. Call me a sexist if it makes you happy, but I'll say it like it is.

Men like their women fresh! Untainted most times, or after they've know her. A woman who leaves her husband over infidelity and marries another will soon regret it.
Most men who marry divorced women are not faithful themselves. And the chances of a man finding sexual fulfilment from a divorced woman ONLY is very slim.

The 21st century woman believes she is similar to a man, that there is no difference save for the hairs on his face and body.

But in her arrogance, the bitter truth of life sweeps in from behind.

Even never-married single ladies are having challenges getting married, and we are talking about the married and divorced.

Quit the pride and arrogance ladies! The best slot a divorced woman can get in this era, is a glorified sex partner. Or a P.A to an aged man. Hardly any young man will pitch his sexual tent forever with a divorced woman, even in marriage.

Your best shot most of the time is with the husband of your youth.

And one more thing: It's not the same thing when a man cheats and when a woman cheats.

But the shocking thing is, I've even seen men argue this in the negative. The sexual organs of both sex says it all.
Even deities reacts to a cheating wife.


God says, "If a husband divorces his wife And she goes from him And belongs to another man, Will he still return to her? Will not that land be completely polluted? But you are a harlot with many lovers; Yet you turn to Me," declares the LORD

(Jer 3:1)



If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD. Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.

(Duet 24:1-4)

Now we know polygamy is WRONG. And a cheating husband errs grievously. It's infact a mortal sin. But the above scriptures are HIGHLIGHTS of how abominable is the act of a cheating wife. Even when she was divorced and another man has "touched" her she cannot come back to her husband.

If your pride won't let you stay with your cheating husband, then honorably prepare for celibacy. Or you can choose to end up in a far more shameful union with another man who will eventually seek another woman when he is done exploring what is left of you.

A married woman who spreads her leg for another is a pack of shame before man and spirits.

This is no call for men to cheat or opt for polygamy or even divorce. It is simply a response to a lost breed of women.

But he didn't differentiate between women.he made a generalized statement against all women. Which is obviously incorrect. But I want him to clarify. Obviously there are promiscuous women like that. But to boldy state that women are only good for sex is insulting and I take offence.

His statement also means he is indirectly insulting his mother and any female member of his family.

bayonino:
exactly, what i am saying, very easy to spot out fish brain ladies, did he mention you Mother. If not because of the rate at which alot of ladies open their legs because of money, he wont have said so, it even difficult to differentiate the good ladies from the bad ones nowadays.

If your advice is for women to care less in their marriage, my guy what is point of being married then? Is it not to care for the other? There are vows that you make.

You seem to be someone who has a very strong opinion about something and whilst you are trying very hard to convince others that your perspective is right. You forget that other people have thier own different perspectives and live different truths than you. Anyone who disagrees with you, you comment that they are immature or weak at heart.

What is the point of your question if you don't have an open mind and unwilling to see that men and women have differing opionins.

Your viewpoint just leaves the option that marriage is not for love. You cannot control how much love you have in your heart for someone. That's why this cheating of a thing is always tragic

Are we talking about reality here or a figment of your imagination? It's like you are trying to force an answer out of everyone.

I will leave the man. Simple. And wait until I can find a man compatible with my taste. If I marry a second time and I love the man and he ends up being a serial cheat I will leave him as well. And remain single. At that point it doesn't make sense to remarry. Any rational man or woman at this point would be scarred and would not risk being hurt again.

Maybe you've never been in love and only lust. Because if you truly know what love is you can't just be cheating on your spouse anyhow unrepentantly and not try to change when confronted.

Toks2008:
i no talk sey all men cheat and the third option is clear.....WILL U CONTINUE TO CHANGWE HUBBY IF THE BEW ONE also CHEATS?

I'm telling you. Why would I settle for less. All these men want to have their cake and eat it too

Tolatutu:
I would divorce the cheating goat and wait till i find a decent man. That option does exist, many women have gone on to marry faithful men, i would rather be single for life than stay with a philanderer.

It's a long response I know sorry. But I wanted to make my point.

Also I would pick a mixture of option of 1,3. In a case of an unrepentant serial cheater. I would leave my husband. But who says I must remain single and celibate? I can date and find a new man who I feel will be able to respect me and the institution of marriage and we can marry. And for you to say keep changing husbands in option 3 is unrealistic. Not all men cheat and obviously the second time around I would take my time choosing a new partner and hope to find one that I am compatible with. One that would not repeat the same mistakes as the first.


You know the options you created are not the only options available and are a little unrealistic. If a woman divorces at pretty young age that doesn't mean she must remain single. Doesn't mean she must remain celibate. Option 3 insinuates that all men are cheaters so she would have to continue divorcing and we know that not all men cheat.

Toks2008:
Cant believe i had to quote all these but then what option would you take?

For you to ask a woman to disregard a cheating husband is for you to ask her to emotionally give up on the marriage. What is the point of remaining married if that's the case.

There are many things that women should be cautioned and instructed to forgive and let pass in a marriage but definetely not adultery. If a woman sincerely tries to work on the marital issues that lead to her husband to seek sex outside and he still refuses to change what is the need of staying in that marriage? So the man can now come and give her an STD? Or she shouldn't have sex again in her marriage? So she should face her children and sacrifice having a love life.

I understand what you're meaning to say and maybe it would be more likely for a woman to remain in the home and disregard her husbands promiscuity in the olden days but it's not realistic in modern nigeria. People are more exposed and educated. Women have more options and opportunities available to them. They don't have to stay in a marriage by force anymore because they can't afford to care for themselves otherwise. I don't want to speak for all women so I shall speak for myself. I will not take it. Never. No matter what it will leave a negative impact on my way of life. I will not be able to function knowing that my husband is having extramarital affairs and is unwilling to change. It is one thing if we have a matured discussion and decide to move forward and he actually stops sleeping around. With time we will mend. But if his is UNWILLING then Biko no time to waste time. I am out. Peace of mind is free. Peace

I made a promise, a vow and a convenant with a man under God and I will keep that promise until they day I die and I expect the man to do the same. This is MARRIAGE not boyfriend/girlfriend wahala. This a scared bonding between two individuals.


If this matrimonial home is a Muslim family where men are entitled in the religion to practise polygamy and have up to 4 wives. The woman can now argue that the man should stop having sex outside and marry another wife. But I highly doubt that after 4 wives a man who has the mentality of a serial cheater will stop there. Now if this is a Christian marriage then seriously what is the point? The man will not change. The woman may stay if she is 50± and does not see herself starting life all over again. Perhaps sex is no longer as important to her as it used to be. But to ask a woman below 50 to basically live a celibate life with a cheating husband is wickedness. Because she will not want to sleep with her husband again, the love will be gone, that close relationship is broken. You are living with an enemy.

How will this shape the minds of the children who view the relationship of their parents? Unless the wife is unaware of the husbands actions there is no way they can reasonably function as a family unit and remain truly in love unless they have an agreement that the husband is free to do as he pleases and he agrees to always use protection outside.

But I don't agree to such agreements in marriage. And therefore I can not be content in such a marriage. The real question here is in a Nigerian household if a woman is a serial cheater would you ask the husband to bear within the marriage?

Truthfully, marriage is a commitment and nobody said it would be easy. But, whether man or woman ANYBODY who is not willing to commit to thier spouse seriously is not ready for marriage. We are human and sometimes we make mistakes and cheat on the ones we love, but if the love is there forgiveness will come. The problem is when the cheating never stops. Then there is no need to remain in my opinion.

All of this only makes sense if you married for love. If you married for money then of course you will stay in the marriage Na. When ur cheating husband does his own, you go and do your own outside and continue to collect the money. Loooolll. Just jokes

But this is my humble opinion. It's a long epistle sha. But you don't have to agree with me. But that is how I see it.

So what you're saying is that the only use your mother had in this world is sex?

You stated girls are only useful for sex. So please clarify your statement or I will continue to beleive that you are chauvinistic sexist personality.

killerman47:
God bless you my brother, you are the only person that has commented reasonably.... God bless you..... whores, bitches, Gold diggers that know nothing about the struggles of a man, just fine face and as and expect to have him all to yourself..... girls are useless, only useful for sex...

Which value did she add to his life? She bore him 3 children. Why are you so negative? This is just one blog writers opinion and you're here insulting the woman for what? Do you know their story personally other than what you read?

Chai. I'm so tired of people with your mentality.

So a man broke a covenant made under God and impregnated another woman outside of marriage. And your response is to insult his wife....

Wow. Ok. I really hope nobody in your family goes through something like this. And if they ever do I hope that they don't turn to you for comfort.

hedonistic:
Which value did she add to his life? It's funny when these random girls think they can possess a made man exclusively merely because they have a pretty face, boobs, Ass, and pussy. Funny indeed. At best you're just a trophy, one that money bought, and the same money can discard you when it gets tired of seeing you and buy another one whenever he wants.

If you wouldn't have agreed to date or Bleep or marry him if he didn't have money, then you must be really foolish to think you are entitled to possess him simply because you have boobs or pu.ss.y that 100 million other females in Nigeria have.

Who forced you to comment? Obviously this thread is focused on the east and the progress being made in the cities there.

Nobody asked you to leave your beloved lagos and come and live there. Abeg go away and allow ppl hear word.

NakedEve:
Nonsense. No skyscrapers, no wonderful high rising industries, no wonderful parks, no satellite dishes from aerial views, no high ranking hotels, no clubs, no strip houses, no gambling buildings, no game resorts n u want to compare East with Almighty Lagos?
Nonsense!

All Igbo people know how to build is the tallest statue in Africa n they will come here n be making noise.

Rubbish.