Kitchen, because I don't joke with food. . . My mum is a great cook, and she raised us with well prepared home meals.

silentlywild: Very interesting I must say! some girls are not playing hard to get, they try to go on all d dates that, are part of dating and ends up meeting the wrong guys. She is single because she discovers the guys she has been with have serious issues.

I once dated a guy who just used to ask me for money. Then dated another one that doesnt respect his parents ( dont want to be with someone that would disrespect my parents).The next guy had such an inferiority complex and, even when I used tosay things to boost his ego, he used to say he just didnt feel he was gud enuff 4 me( HE DIDNT HAVE ANY BAGGAGE like wife or child).

Another one I met always thought his friends would snatch me from him and when one of his friend approached me to say hello at a party , he was like she is MY girlfriend.


With what I have said...what den should a sister do to find A GOOD SERIOUS GUY FOR MARRIAGE WITH MATURITY,CONFIDENCE and A GREAT HUSBAND MATERIAL!!!

HELP>>>>>It is not about desperation just the right time for it....

So you always do the dumping?? . . . Now you are looking for another unsophisticated dude to break his heart like egg

I think it is private business men, especially the rich ones. . lol

I weep for my Nigerian brothers!! . . . You guys suffer a lot in name of girls.

Single ladies? . . You mean the feminists??
well, most single guys are now running away from you feminists as fast as they can, especially those living in US and UK.

Onegai: My love, I'm gonna hazard a guess at your age. About 25 or a little above or below. You sound like me at that age.
I see from your signature you're a christian. Now let me refer you to the bible. Go point out all the assertive ladies in there, let me know how it worked out for them. I'll wait (pours myself a drink of OJ).

See the difference btw Jezebel, Esther, Bathsheba, Mary and Deborah? Both strong,but one was calm, and the other didn't take shit and was equal to her man in screwing up. Guess who suffered? The bible says "Men, love your wives as Christ loves the church". So your man is meant to cover and protect you. So what does the church do? It worships Christ. Ergo, you're meant to worship your man. The church does not say "'xcuse Jesus, I don't like what you just said or did so I'm not gonna follow" and sit down glaring at him. So what's the shi.t about "I won't take crap, get to stepping if you piss me off, I am Woman hear me roarrrrr!!"?
A strong woman, does not need to be like what you described to be strong. I know a lot of strong, i-dont-take-crap girls. They declare their strength, then go to the kitchen, dish their man's food, serve him and prefix every sentence to him with "darling". They're submissive. If they couldn't be, they'd be single. To quote a white, aethist relationship coach (so you know that ALL men are alike) "men have to be strong in front of their friends and the world and it gets exhausting. They don't want to marry and keep fighting for strength at home. So it's great that you have a Ph.d, speak 4 languages and climbed Mt. Everest, if you don't make him feel like a man, he won't care about that and marry you."
What men want is for you to be emotionally stable and strong, in case they're not home, to hold down the fort, but when they show up, baby, get on your knees.

I cant believe that this was written by an educated woman of this era . . . Your husband is one of the luckiest men on earth!!

Try to adapt to that . . Marriage is for better for worse;afterall, you must have noticed all that when you guys were still courting.

kunletiwoo: Latest update!


Though I've refused to confront anyone of them, as I keep reading their conversations...

From one of the mails my babe replied, she said she's "Scared of saying 'YES'". Hmmmm! what does that implies?

and you guys think I should talk?

hahahahahahahaha . . Oboy, you are already dumped.
It is obvious that you girl has strong feelings for that your friend, but she doesn't have the gut to dump your ass immediately.
However, i would advice you to allow everything to just play out.

@OP

Please tell Nairaland men if your sister is a feminist or not

@Poster

What do you have to offer to your potential husband?? feminist attitudes? . . . . FYI, guys of nowadays are now more sophisticated when it comes to making marriage decisions. Hence, I would advice you to take a hard look at yourself and make necessary changes.

POint of correction for some people: The proverbial BLACK SHEEP doesn't exist in all families. That there is one in your family doesn't mean that it also exist in your friends family.

mama-gee:
No chance. . .

Mama gee, which chance are you talking about

mama-gee:
^^Nope, but I found it weird for an older woman who's a complete stranger to keep staring at me

Btw, a boy was staring at me too, sounds funny but true. . .two random people were staring at me.

Mama gee, lets hook up in another medium where I can secretly divulge the answer to your question.

mama gee! mama gee! . . . Anyway, she must have fallen in love with you . . Are you homo

high-chief:
I am getting married in a few months time to my girl of over five years, she is a wonderful person so also is her other family members but her younger brother is something else, he steals, smokes hemp, moves with strange looking fellows and always on the run from the police. I love my girl and we are getting married but I must confess I am really worried about her brother's way of life,he is one person I would not want around me and my kids when I start my family, I some time wake up hearing my girl praying and weeping for God's intervention. I don't know if there is any one out that has gone through a similar situation?

Well, poster I think you should make this marriage decision based on the behavior of your girl friend and her other family members who you have studied for the past five years. You should have been more worried if you have known this your girl for like 3, 4,5, 0r 6 months. Some good families do have black sheep amongst them

On a side note, I have an uncle who cancelled his marriage plans because he discovered that the girl's snr brother was one of those kidnappers terrorizing the South Eastern states;infact, the girl's brother was later caught and executed by the police.

On a second thought, I think this yoruba man you described is not a DEVIL as you painted him in your post- no grown ass man would go through all the wedding process, and stress involved, and suddenly starts demanding for divorce after three weeks of marriage.I think your Ex husband's sudden change in behavior must have been influenced by some of your BAD behaviors which he didn't notice when you guys were courting. In as much as I love my Igbo sisters, there are still many arrogant, brash, stubborn, and uncultured ones amongst you all.

I'm sure,you being a stubborn Eko bred Igbo girl, you went against you parents advice and went ahead to marry a polygamous yoruba man who you might have considered more ROMANTIC that igbo dudes . . lol.

In conclusion, I think you can still find TRUE LOVE only if you turn a NEW LEAF, but it is unlikely to be with Igbo dudes you overlooked during your prime years. Peace!

Vergil:

Exactly! Air brain yourself. We are all human beings. Why promoting segregation, tribalism etc.

Fair enough, everybody should use their head. But don't over play the tribe card... Dumbo!

Old Imbeci.le . . The joke is on you . . . lol

I used the phrase, 'we are all human beings', just to expose the emptiness of your counter argument "that white men can overlook black women when it comes to marriage because of slavery history and different skin color(ie racism is allowed ), but Nigerians shouldn't consider tribe as a factor when planning for marriage because we all have black skin ( or else he/she is a tribalist )."


I repeat, tribe, religion, and race should be considered before one plunges into marriage. Putting those things into consideration doesn't make one a racist, tribalist or bigot, but one of the possible ways of averting or reducing future marital problems. Those of us that are yet to be there should learn from others experience.

Vergil:

But that's all race, different skin colours. Which have controversies, right from slavery days. Nigerians are all black. Guy! Grow up maan!

You dumb old hag should shut up!! . . There is no difference between those scenarios;after all, we are all HUMAN BEINGs. . . .
When replying to my post next time, try to come up with a sharper retort. Air brain!!

991:

Well said, though i dislike the offensive-names-calling, truly, when it comes to marriage, we should use our brain and not our heart. hearts can be broken but brains? NEVER. obviously, the man used his brain while the lady used her heart, now who is hurt?

I really dont intend to offend anyone with some of the words I used in that post;however, I try as much as possible not to mince words while airing my views.

;

paris10:

It is ignorant arss tribalist like you that still plague Nigeria with this curse of obtrusiveness of progress. This is the 21st century baby, and you're still embroiled with this filthy game of card. A man responsibleness does not lie with what colour or tribe he comes from, but lie with the level of degree to which he has educated himself.

A man's aggressiveness has nothing to do with his tribe, however, it is still a biopsychosocial problem. When self-control breaks down, aggression find its way in. There are five factors that causes aggression, 1. Neurosis, 2. desperation, 3.Envy, 4. Greed, and 5. Collectivism. Self-actualize (fulfilled) people are less likely to be aggressive or abusive.


So, to be abusive means to be intolerant and unreasonable. Every man regardless of where they come from have one or all traits of an aggressive man.

You are just chattering . . bunkum!! . . This has nothing to do with living in 21st century. It is only unsophisticated guys or girls that would assimilate the kind of nonsense you just spewed above. Here you are telling someone about 21st century, my question for you is: How many white men do you see marrying black women? Despite the fact that 70% of black women in America are single and also that many white men date black women, but when it comes to marriage, they would run to their white women. . . . Dont tell me that these white men who over look black women when it comes to marriage are racist or that they are yet to come to terms with your disney world 21st century. Or that they are still living in 1800s . . Correct me if I am wrong,you are one of those divorcees hoping to tie down a fresh single guy, why not try a guy from one of those Arab/moslem countries that practice honor killings; afterall, you are a 21st century woman who doesn't care about tribe or religion
The fact remains that there are many things one has to consider before plunging into marriage. And factors like race, tribe, religion are some of them. Peace !!

@OP
Which Nigerian girl friends are you talking about?? . . . . You mean the ones that shattered your heart with Ak-47 bullets

Ileke-IdI:



We're talking about REAL love here, not teenage tomatoe love.

Abeg abeg abeg.

Real Love?? . . Another cliche used by good for nothing girls to hoodwink unsophisticated single guys . . lol.

First, like Shymtex, I'm also that kind of dude who cares less about girl friend-boy friend relationships, despite being admired by alot of pretty girls. But unlike Shymtex, I was the one that did the break up.

Just last three months, I broke up with a Nigerian girl that loved me soooooo much. I love her too;however, I cant be blinded by love , especially here in America . . . .We were best friends for like a year before dating for six months - I preferred/enjoyed keeping her as a friend, but she wanted more than that, so we began dating. . . I broke up with her not because that I'm afraid of commitment, but because of her feminist attitudes and lack of culinary skill( I like food alot ). Infact she is one of those mummy's girl that knows how to do little or no house chores. On the otherhand, she finds it demeaning to learn or take correction from people, not just from me alone. Yes, she is a very intelligent girl - a nerd. . . After six months of officially dating,I ended the relationship, after concluding that she lacks the basic attributes I want in my future wife. . . . I wish we could have remained friends after the break up, but she thought otherwise. Since we are no longer in contact, I dont know whether she now hates me or not , but I believe in the long run, she would either appreciate this decision I made or regret ever putting on the feminist garment. All relationships are not meant to lead to marriage.

So for me, falling in love is for the gullible ones. I cant be blinded by love, especially when any girl talks about marriage near my auditory nerve . .
I only seek casual friendship.


_{For the dumb feminists who always think that all men are after their punny, sex wasn't involved in the relationship mentioned above.}

dasparrow:

How old are you? As an adult, should you not already know the answer to that question? Why do you want to remain friends with an EX? so that you can despoil her like you Nigerian bred males are fond of doing? Please go and get a job and make yourself useful to society and whilst you are at it, stop fornicating. Heaven and hell is as real as day and night. Repent or face eternal damnation when your life on earth is up. Peace, out!

You frustrated old hag really need some psychiatric help. Venting your anger on faceless Nairaland/Nigerian males wont extricate you from your mental disabilities.
Please seek help!!!!

KINGwax: Well, i dunno, but i knw lagos girls can be pleased.
It's simple, borrow your friend's nice car, dress nice, go 'clubbing', feed them wit assorted meats and snails, swallow some viagra, lodge overnight into eko hotels and suites, Bleep them hard(mostly from the rear), and drop them at their gates with an unnecessay transport fare(u don't have to say it's her payments for d night). I'm telling u, she'll FLASH YOU DIE the next evening!
That was some serious satisfaction

All these process and expenses just because of one night pus.sy?? . . . . Damn, Nigerian guys have suffered alot for them girls.

Sagamite:

Yep!

Mostly the Naija and Jamo girls that have this effed up mentality. I call girls like that "Shytheads"!

They live their lives thinking they are entitled to something because they are L'Oreal!

I feel sorry for guys that marry such. As far as I am concerned, na hit and run.

chop and clean mouth has always been the best approach.

NaJoke2000:
When Issues come up like this, both parties wld always gather facts to justify their roles/actions played.

Wat i understand from the two postings is dat it's true,dat kelvin has been supporting his wife until the NO SURGERY advice from the US doctor came. it's obvious dat d many procedures for child birth and surgeries was paid for by the husband which finally gave birth to two kids.
I guess he refused to pay for the last surgery becos of the US doctors advice.

it's also true,that kelvin quarelled wit ogo on these issues which actually made kelvin to say somthins that hurt ogo.
it's might also be true dat kelvin's family may have unnecessarily abuse her becos of her conditions which kelvin made known to them.

Howeva,we should understand that family influence is a big problem in today's marriage.
why wld some1 bring this online on behalf on Ogochukwu? why wld this bring her back This is a very gud sign of family influence!!!

Secondly,why wld the ogo's sister advice her to go for the last surgery which took her life. This is clearly against Doctors Advice!
dis is another sign of family influence.

In-laws go about creating problem...and when they are done, they hands off and point accusing fingers at the Man or Woman
as the case may be.

Ogo, may your soul rest in peace. You know better now.

Best rational analysis so far on this thread.

^^^
@Lastpage, I have always been a follower of your posts in any thread you delve into. The way you articulate you points is quite amazing. . Keep it up!

I cant believe how the supposedly literates on this forum easily swallowed all the fabricated lies in the so called "letter from the grave". . . . They even tried to make the whole story sound as if it is only the husband, kelvin, who cares about having children. And that the late ogoo would be happy to be childless. . . Anyway, I think you, Lastpage, has punctured most of those lies and innuendos.