₦airaland Forum

Unfortunately many set themselves up for long courtship, like dating a person who still in school or while you are in school. You automatically enter in the waiting game approximately 4-7 years bc u or the person has to finish school, find a job, and set themselves up. Then pray that years from now that you or this person still like each other, not that either of you have done something wrong, but because people change. You not the same person at 25 that you were at 18. Uni days should be for forming friendships, connections, and finding out who you are.Finish school, find a job, and enjoy being single. Then dating/courting and marriage will fall in place. By then you should be mature, know what you want, and secure. You don't find yourself stuck in relationships because of uncertainties or insecurities,if need be you know how to find a exit. You know what you want in marriage mate and you go looking till u find him/her. Yeah it easier said then done, but it makes sense.

I bet ur wife wanted to do the same. But she didn't she kept peace. Either you suck it up and do the same or leave her. Such a coward and foolish move. Man always want to jump up and down when their women cheats, yet they are cheaters. Abeg go sit down as u make ur bed na so u lie on top.

U can try stretching your food by using one recipe many ways. Take for example stew, you can eat with rice, yam, beans or plantain. You can then add okra to the stew and eat it with fari or fu-fu which ever. It all ab being creative. Then again if you dont want to be eating stew all the time then you can always create the base for stew and store it in the freezer and use it when needed.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHiBomcZ0Ms[/flash]

Please tell this is not becoming a fashion trend for men. This is one of the most hideous, razz, and unbelievable things i have seen in fashion. What correct person will spend 7000 naira to look like a clown? Anyone considering this better think 2x or risk loneliness 4 life or ur lip falling off whichever happens first.
Has anyone seen or heard of this?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qWDzKWV9CE&list=UUYqyzNqFk0VFSu4ngwopPpg&index=1[/flash]

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh25aap8gH8[/flash]

Look at the behind the package to check. On the other hand it has a lot of salt, high consumption of salt causes water retention and water retention leads to weight gain. You might want to cut back to 1 to 2 packages a week. Just my two kobos.

Of course cause you never know what you are missing until it's gone

I personally dont like to cook(especially in the morning). But I have to cook to eat. So I cook at least once a day if you count warming up yesterday soup as cooking. Usually cook a pot of stew or soup that will last 2 or 4 days and find several different way to eat thru out the week.

The punishment doesn't fit the crime. Was a life taken?

Roasted plantain w/ pepper sauce, roasted corn, unpeeled oranges

Why is their responses surprising people. Ask a naija man how many babes he go collect, he go tell em one. Na lie! Abeg, girls are playing the field just like boys. We all got needs boys and girls alike. It call give and take "as much as needed".

sunnexw: Disgusting? How do you mean? well in my opinion Gala is still the best sausage roll in terms of quality and even in packaging.

It not sweet tasteless, . The sausage taste like dry fermented meat.

Gala is disgusting.

It was spoken at home. So my siblings and I had no choice but to learn it . leaned english from tv and school.

My hair been unprocessed since secondary days. I rock my hair in twist, braids,twistout and I flat iron it once a year. Bc natural hair hates heat, humidity, and moisture during rainy season I rock braids (Senegalese twist) all through out. I wash my hair every 2 weeks, twice a month and only on the weekends. Condition it with what ever oil or butters I have(coconut,castol, palm oil, shea butter, aloe vera)and wear a shower cap for an hour so that hair can absorb the oils. After detangeling I stretch by dividing my hair and plaiting it with thread I leave the plaits in all day or overnight. Then style it, usually twisting it then pulling the twist into a bun for work. I leave my twist in for a month I wash it, and re- twist the front and edges. At the end of the month I untwist everything and rock the coils for a day or two(it barely last 2 days) and start all over. I have been reading on "prepoo" my hair and have tried it once a week with good results.Yes there are so many styles and option for natural hair, but my hair is very coarse and I like to keep it to minimum to avoid breakage.

Yield: I’ve an appointment later today at a salon to get my hair flat-ironed. This would be my first time doing it this year and my first time going to a salon to get it flat-ironed (since I've been natural; 2007). The times when I did flat-iron, I did it myself at home. But I’ve never been able to get it completely straight. It would always come out looking like I brow-dried it instead, even though I used a flat-iron. This’s why I’m considering going to a salon this time. I know they would do it better than I would and it could probably last me about two weeks. I’ve been yearning to leave my own hair out for the longest time. I’m usually in two-strand twists (with my own hair) or extension braids, but I want to wear my hair out for once. I’ve been having second thoughts from the get-go about going to the salon. 1. I can try doing it myself and 2. I don’t trust salons that much, especially when it comes to heat; and they likely won’t be as gentle as I would be. I know If I do it myself it probably would come out looking poofy and blow-dried again, although I have been reading on “how to get the straight look on natural hair with a flat-iron” and the things I could do differently this time. From one forum, there was one person who said she used beeswax and it gave her the sleek look. But I also read that beeswax is hard to wash out, so I’m now hesitating. There’s also "The Chase Method” and I could try that. I’m thinking maybe I should just do it myself and manage am like that, even if it’s just for two days. I’m planning on putting my hair back in braids at the end of this month anyway. I still have about 8 hours until my appointment, so I’ve time to decide, lol. What to do, what to do. :/

Be careful w/ the heat. If you start to smell your hair as they flat iron it they fried your hair.Then ur hair will look limp when u wash your hair. Just be vocal and tellem what u want. What chase method?

Same with you . I just dont see why I should spend so much time on style that last about a day.

Will it be hard to get to the point.

@Abali
Honestly I dont mind cooking and cleaning. I can do it. If he wants to no if I'm domestic he should observe how I keep my house and ask me cook with him. It not a big deal to me.
To each their own....agree

Abali1: I remember that you said I WILL NEVER COOK OR CLEAN FOR MY BOYFRIEND.. My dear, I am yet to get married but since I started living on my own(my university days, My NYSC days and now that am working) I have dated Ladies who all did one or all of the things tagged as Wifely duties in this thread.
Even though NL is a faceless forum, lets not all come on here an start putting on airs as if we no dey shyte... haba. How many Naija Ladies fit put on this I don't care attitude, and expect guys to take them really serious. It's either you are a drop dead beauty or the daughter of one big wig or one kain gbogbo big gurl... if you don't fall in this category abeg no dey come here come form.

Which one be... I WILL NEVER COOK OR CLEAN FOR MY BOYFRIEND... and then you wonder why boys are dragging there feet when it comes to making commitment in a relationship.

How you judge your girlfriend on whether or not they make good wives is ur cup of tea. Frankly speaking this is how I am. I am not one to show up at my bf house and start preparing a meal, clean, and then do his laundry in order to impress him.There's plenty of thing that I can do to impress him( i mentioned it in previous post). I can count on one hand, two fingers how many times I have prepared a meal for him not out of obligation, but b/c I want to and there's no shame in my game. Just because I choose not to cook for him does not mean I dont care. I really dont understand why you feel that cooking is top priority to wether a man decide to make commitment. Men dont commit b/c their gf dont cook. You dont marry girl simply b/c she cant cook or wont cook for you, you marry her because of personality and her desirable qualities. You not going to choose a girl who can cook but yet is dull or lack certain qualities that you want to see in a wife. That why this cooking thing that you so stuck on doesnt make sense. Im in a steady relationship not because of what I do in the kitchen but because of my personality, qualities, and what i bring to the relationship. That what moves my relationship to the next level.

If ladies are running around doing all these "wifely duties", why will he commit? He's already got a "wife".

Abali1: Please Meyri, pardon my inquisitveness. But what are those practical things that you do, to show that You Care and Love him. I was meant to understand that the word LOVE is a Verb and a Verb is an action word.

Show affection, give him random gifts, just listening to him talk, take interest in what he likes even though I don't particularly enjoy it, cook a meal(I do this as rare as possibly or it would not be special), plan a date, get dressed up for him and go out every once in while,compliment him,send him a special card or text, give him space, hang together with his friends, get closer to his family, etc.....

As long as it recognized by govt institution then marriage is legal however it done.

If you dont have it, you don't have. Eating more will make u have a fat belly which is worse than having no bottom.

Abali1: Thank you for being yourself... if you expect him to provide and you expect him to GO OUT OF HIS WAY to do something for you, even though he may not want to but does it because he likes you... It then brings me to my next "troubling" question... What exactly do you as a Girlfriend bring to the relationship, that will motivate him to consider taking it to the next Level?
(Please sex is not it... cos not all relationships are sexual).

The same he does for me I do for him. Except I dont chase him thats not my job....I support him every milestone for him is a milestone for me. Make him look good........in reality as far as expectations for each gender in a relationship goes there no set rules. Bottomline I will show that I care and love him, whatever that requires if it within my power I do.

As long as fufu is being eating let hands be used whether in the public or in the private of our home.

Abali1: Just answer these questions, please. How do you evaluate your boyfriend? How do you know if he is caring or romantic? How do know if he is really thinking seriously about taking your relationship to the next level? What are your expectations of a boyfriend in a relationship? In other words what are those things you expect your boyfriend to do either for you or for the good of the relationship?

I'm very observant.I watch how he interacts with strangers and his family. I observe how he dresses and how he keeps his surrounding and the company he keeps. How he goes out his way to do something for me even though he doesn't particularly like but because I like it. I listening to the thing he talks about. Whenever he talks about the future and his goal he always reference we (him and I) are going to do this...we are going to be here together. He claims me.. my women, girlfriend, not just his friend. I expect for him to woo me, be faithful, to provide (not always materially, but when all else fail he can meet me halfway). I expect him to know me and understand who I am and accept it all w/o changes.

Did this answer ur question?

Abali1: Just answer these questions, please. How do you evaluate your boyfriend? How do you know if he is caring or romantic? How do know if he is really thinking seriously about taking your relationship to the next level? What are your expectations of a boyfriend in a relationship? In other words what are those things you expect your boyfriend to do either for you or for the good of the relationship?

Have mercy! Give me min.

[quote author=tpia@]^then how will he evaluate your wifey qualities if you dont show some beforehand?

just curious , since i dont know how these things work, especially nowadays.

is it beauty/green card alone that men base their marriage decisions on?[/quote]Cooking and cleaning are not wifely qualities they are simply expected duties of wife. Loyal hardworking, smart , caring, dependable,loving, funny etc.. are qualities those are the qualities that a boyfriend look for in a future wife (to each his own). As a girlfriend it not my duty to cook or clean for my boyfriend. If thats what he expects then I expect him to take the relationship to another level....marriage.

[quote author=tpia@]

you mean not unless he's your fiance? [/quote]Not unless he my husband under our own roof.

My motto is dont start nothing I can't finish. If I start cooking and cleaning for my boyfriendis going to expect me to do it all the time. I will NEVER cook or clean for my boyfriend. I can cook with him. But I will not start doing wifely duties when Im just the girlfriend.