₦airaland Forum

thelish:
My own dey even vex to see me n my hubby eating together or call him honey.she says is disrespect. Na so I start call am brother *** ooo. lol

I can relate my dear. My own will be sad if me and hubby look happy, she will go lock herself in her room.
It poses a very challenging situation, I live very far away. You would think distance makes it better, no it don't. But it helps with avoiding interfere rance.
It helps if your husband knows what kind of a mother he has, then he can prepare you ahead of time.

But the court allowed him. its not like he stole the baby

The mother need to face the court and overturn the rule to joined custody or something

goodgate:
You just described my mum,she might even be worse.

What does your mum do na?

crackhaus:
This was your post:

It is culture, lack of exposure, ignorance among many other factors, education...

Were you or were you not implying the way Nigerians view it is as a result of culture, lack of exposure, bla bla blabbity bla?
I simply made reference that the beloved western nations of which I named USA as one, still generally have the same thinking.

Whether you're so sure where I've lived or where I've not lived, is only a construct of your defensive mind and a diversionary tactic employed to shift focus.
Same way I could be so sure that you've not lived in Miami per se, but chose the nick above all else...but who cares?

You have your opinion I have mine. We don't have to agree or disagree on anything, deuces!

crackhaus:
Bullshiit!

Even in the beloved western countries like USofA, it's the same attitude towards cheating husbands vs cheating wived...don't kid yourself.

I thought we were talking of Nigeria collectively
Wonder why you are bringing up US, am sure you've not leaved in the states per se.

greatness22:
Those women who think that way lack exposure.... I pray they see the "light"

It is culture, lack of exposure, ignorance among many other factors, education and financial status are also culprits

Poster I agree, am not Nigerian and this was the first concept i realized as soon as I joined this forum.

Unfortunately you will find a lot of women that have believed this is how it's supposed to be.

It is sad.

My mother in law is SATANS ONLY GIFT to the world.
My husband thinks she has a mental disorder
My father in law has called elders on this woman six times already that was last year,
The kind of cases she faces in the village is beyond anybody.
She hates all her daughter in laws. She has chased one of my sister in laws from her house four times. My brother in law and the wife had to move to another town because of her. She controls the house of another sister in law.
One of her daughters marriage failed and she came back home. You should have seen my mother in laws crocodile tears, it almost filled a river.

PresVA:
It's quite unfortunate, some people allow what they see or hear to affect them even without them experiencing it.. When they keep mindsets like this, why won't the saga come?

Those praying for their MILs to die, hope you know your future DILs will say same prayer for you? What goes around comes around. ..

It's not a preconceived idea. You enter a marriage in good faith hoping for a good relationship with everyone. Your mother in law gets hatefull what do you do.
Of course if you've never experienced this you will assume people are making up this stuff.
It's real my dear their are nasty monster in laws out there

coldgate:
Madam, you see yourself? What are you looking for in his phone? You better settle with your husband if not that lady will replace you. Babes are not smiling. Pls leave his phone alone.



Some will say that you should leave your home. Let me tell you a secret. Those bad advisers are going through worse in their marriages but choose to work it out.

You are a crazy person. You want her to stay and die. Will you take care of her kids if anything happens to her.

Abiagirl777:
I have learnt my lessons big time!!

I'm Glad you have learned the hard way, I insisted my husband bring mother in law abroad where we live, as soon as she got here she started advocating that he leaves me, I have never felt this backstabbed before, her efforts did not work so she left for the village sad. I keep my distance, hubby has not spoken to her in almost a year, I had to beg him to call her

Abiagirl777:
My mum in law just left yesterday after a mths stay,she supposedly came for omugwo after mine left.I don't want to rememba how my husband blamed me for insisting that she'll come against his wish because of her attitude but suffice it to say 'we saw hell'.
She never for once cooked,cleaned,swept or even carried the baby she came for.only watching Africa magic Igbo from morning till night,eating and quarrelling.
I leave posterity to judge her even though she knows her next coming is a long thing(dbanj).
I tell you I don't blame daughter in laws anymore

I keep distance from my mother in law. The woman is devil's reincarnate.

Some mother in laws are trouble some, very hatefull,
They feel they are in competition with the daughter in law
That is how my mother in law behaves

She is what you call shallow, or she has no feelings for you,

My husband is from a polygamous family, non of his ten brothers have two wives, they all hate polygamy since they have experienced how nasty polygamy is,

You will meet true love someday that will not judge you based on your parents decisions

You have to leave this marriage immediately

Just let your sister be, you know she dislikes the woman you married, why would you even bring her closer,

As long as you talk to her on the phone frequently, time might solve the issue if not, life has to continue.

byvan03:
Quality of suitors is what we are talking about . Among the plenty suitors, a good percentage will be hit and run .

Well she married a guy with two degrees working on his doctorate! What do you mean quality of suitors. Do you know all suitors out there. Just because you have the Nigerian mentality should make you see the rest of the world out there operates differently.
I attended a wedding of a lady marrying for the first time at 37- husband a college professor

byvan03:
Thank you! This is just my point

My sister married at 35 and she still attracted plenty of suitors,
Age is just a number

I just watched them on TV
Number 1 is the mum she is 36
Her twins are 16
The mom sure has maintained herself

Why would you sister sponsor her own marriage, wedding, provide for this man, then he has to live in your family estate,

Did you say he has a job,

I smell a con man from far, what does he do with his money lol

nasha1:
what a stu.pid fellow.You are the most useless woman i have ever come across to.Exhibiting ur foolishness everywhere.
I am your nightmare u know why? even when i haven't quote u ,u jump 2 quote me everywhere.
U go quote tire and i will continue showing ur foolishness here.old woman acting like a child and dis one is someone mother.
*sighs*

Thank you, that Dyt is a nuisance, he does not advice but has a way of filling space and wasting Oga Seuns space with nonsence, he has no concept of anything going on, very annoying character, did you just say he was a woman. Why would a grown woman act like a child,

Poster this is a hard situation,

I would say give her ultimatum, but again when you say this will result in physical fights I wouldn't insist.

Just act on your word, lay down a few rules, like, no fighting no verbal abuse and such, suggest how you want things run, if she does not comply do a simple trial separation, take three days away from home, got to a hotel or somewhere don't call, don't communicate unless she is willing to change or compromise,

One of my brothers is in such situation, because he was forced to marry a lady he made pregnant, lol.

Dyt:
Forgive me but this is funny
Sorry



Smh

Poster ignore this person, they say if you don't have anything to say shut the hell up!

I will confront both,

But when confronting the woman, I will be well prepared in case she attacks me, the only reason I will confront the woman is to know her story, maybe hubby told her he was not married you never know.

What does your wife like, is she into a big party with a lot of speakers, or just a small party,

What foodstuff does she like?

It's obvious you both share different values of life, poster, this is what people usually discuss during courtship to see if they are compatible,

When courting you talk about values, aspirations, how you want to raise your family and such,

Now you are married there is no divorce, endure my dear( let the prayer warriors advice you on how hard you have to pray)

What does she say when other people intervene to talk to her?

heavyg:
Royal rumble. Cursing and cussing on both sides. She even cussed at me with the unborn baby.
Plus she just tore my singlet I had on, just because I did something which I don't see as anything and so I am outside now, smoking and thinking about my life.

We don't pray together, even though she is a good cook, home cooked food is a rare occurrence, no laundry. She takes her job as her best friend. She does not confide in me.

If she hates me so much, why did she marry me?

And we are not even a year....

And she is normally very calm and gentle. Or at least she used to be. Not because I wanted to marry her. But that was her person. Now I don't know anymore....

is that a new behavior on her, is she pregnant,

If she is pregnant just ignore all, hormones play a lot of things in pregnant women turning them mean.

When she is calm act as if to acknowledge what she blamed you for then start a conversation with her, explain to her you don't like how she behaves, try acting as a friend more than anything since you guys are in a union right now,

You want her to cook. Start and ask her to help you, work as a friend more see what happens goodluck

When we tell people in abused marriages to divorce before they are killed by their husbands

They call us feminist, now look

Lizypumping:
What private insurance is that?
For market place that is OBAMA care or affordable health plan which is ok. But if you are not a US resident these things don't apply to you. Visitors, just be ready to get your private insurance I.e, bring your cash down

I referred to private insurance as one you pay out of pocket, off course it's through Obama Care, they are very affordable because they are subsidized.
Also as soon as you are pregnant sign up for wic for some free foodstuff to help your household.

On delivery in U.S,

Most important aspect will be health insurance, you can buy one through marketplace now through your state very affordable,

Remember if you get one that is not in marketplace it might be expensive, your employer might also pay for your insurance, I bought mine private because I could not work when pregnant,

If you have low income apply for Medicaid, all your pregnancy will be covered by this,

Then next pick a hospital or a private obgyn that falls under your coverage, ( for prenatal care and delivery) it such a simple process.

xp17:
You that makes sense, please define the term illegal immigration and tell me where on earth it's constitutional to indulge or support it. You mean because his parents are immigrants, he shouldn't do the right thing as a senator/president when it comes to immigration?
Those who desire to come should do in the right way. Do you know how risky it is to keep undocumented immigrants? As a result, crime rates can't be kept in check and makes it difficult for the police and the governmental intelligence to track most crimes.

This ain't Rubio's, it's the republican agenda. President Reagan, arguably the best republican president in the history of America , was very though with the issue of illegal immigration. What Rubio wants to do is probably give amnesty to those illegal immigrants and make sure he build and fortify the U.S border against further illegal immigration.

You are probably one of those immigrants that arrive in US and pray that they close borders for everyone so you can maintain your village champion status,

Apparently I'm voting on issues important and dear to me, since immigration is important to me Rubio is off my list, am team Hillary all the way, or even sanders.

xp17:
hahaha
Based on REP records, it would even be a bad ideal to win the Iowa caucus. I'm rooting for Trump or Rubio.




Almost all Americans are immigrants anyways. As a commander in chief, you have to be tough on illegal immigration, because those illegal immigrants are basically causing unemployment for the American people. You see, Some employers would rather employ an illegal immigrant because they get paid peanuts to do a job vs thet regular American who gets the minimum wage or more.

You don't make sence Obama whose father came from Kenya has compassion for immigrants and he is a president

Rubio does not care for immigrants while both his parents came from Cuba,