₦airaland Forum

crackhaus:
Your friend is the true definition of 'Modern Woman', she has developed her mind to the point of not getting jealous or calling it baggage.

She is a 22nd century woman.

Then you here all this stories of wicked step mothers everywhere.
Because people chew more than they can bite
It is a big no no for me.

That husband is still a boy

I cannot, too much baggage
Unless I have my own
Or he is extremely wealthy

cococandy:
SMH.

@ you sickstar

Ain't she a knuckle head?

sickstars:
Ok thats for u but make her ur frnd let her b able to trust u cos if she does she wud listen to u
Advise her a 14yrs old shdnt b hard to handle just let her b u can b her second mum

D way u sound its like u dont like her u just accepted her cos she is ur husband's daughter

Dont marry a man who u cant tolerate his kids !

U will av a problem there

Just let dat girl feel at hme please op

U not even considering her heart

Mehn m too soft i myt nt b hard like u sha

You are high on some cheap smoke charlatan, laying boundaries on a kid does not mean you dislike them,

it takes a community to raise a kid, if you see a wayward kid like that grown woman trying to squeeze on her parents bed, you would tell her
that is now how things are done.

I don't know what the real mom is teaching this girl, but a decent human being at this age knows the difference between her parents and her.

At 14 I never slept with my parents, never did this evil thought even cross my mind, why should I do it at my step mothers house, if Iam this step mom I will call her to order.

kelechiodo:
Ehn, step daughter needs dad reassurance of his constant love

Does this have to be done under the sheets lol

sickstars:
First u tinkin of her as who ur child or a step child?

That child is d elder sister to ur kids!

look just weekends nd twice a month is gonna kill u?

Dis girl doesnt av a stable home like ur kids do!

look if she wana sleep bside her dad let her do as she matures she herself wud stop

Teenagers gona bhave like one!

Dnt force dem to grow much bt u can also advise her dat she is allowed to sleep bside her dad bt its wrong to do dat with oda guys there scold her wen advising her make she no go tink u dey joke just cos she is a step child doesnt i wont advise her or train her u bear my husband's surname i gotto hear good reports bou u cos we share d same surname! I dont joke with my name!


Bt she is free dats her dad i do pass her sef it happens to all dis daddy's girl like me


Bt if u not cool with it ur husband is in d best position to caution her not u !

U are to b her very good frnd she shd b able to tell u wat she is afraid to discuss with her mum sef!

We are not talking a bout a two year old still using pamper learning to use a potty, we are talking of a pre teenager someone with sizable boobs, menses, hips curling down in bed with step mum and dad while other younger kids of the house five years and below have already been taught boundaries, and that is using their own bed,

When do you expect this 14 year old to learn, when she is getting married, at 14 I was taking care of my siblings even teaching them not to jump on my parents bed.

That girl should be taught right there and then, even by step mum, to learn boundaries, that behavior is not normal whether she sees dad once a year or once in ten years.

I would lay this boundaries on her whether she is my real daughter, step daughter, sister or anyone

sickstars:
Its nt like she comes everyday or everytime


Any times she comes m on d floor ni o

things like dis since u not her mum make frnds with her


Let her b ur frnd she can love her mum nd also love u as a frnd

U dont realy av to scold her she comes to meeet her dad twice in a month the girl needs her dad love all she cud get for dose periods she stays with him


i wud even pet her play with her care for her u av no idea of ow it hurts gettin to see ur parents once in a while i wont blame or hurt her bt make her my frnd i wud understand her heart first as she matures she wud understand my heart too

Undi the condi of my heart

When people are trying to sleep what kind of time do they have for petting a pre teenager, what kind of nonsense are we not going to hear,

Why should a 14 year old even think her step mom should be petting her in between her fathers blanket, am sure even the real mom will not tolerate this nonsense.

I888:
you women amaze me and get jealous at the slightest chance while being defensive if the table was turned.

Would you use such negative words if the person involved was your daughter?

Do you know the relationship between the said girl and her dad prior to getting married to the OP?

The OP is angry because the girl isn't her child and I am more than 100% sure she won't be this angry if it were to be her child. Like someone advised, this line could make or mar her place in the man's heart. If I were the man, she sure would lose her place in my heart, Reason being that I won't see her own daughter as a "step" whatever.

It's a very simple thing but jealousy would make you women complicate things.

It's highly based on the relationship she had with her father, well bonded, before the divorce.

Whether it's my real daughter or son, I would never let them jump into our bed(parents) past puberty,

That is absurd and ridiculous for a pre teenager, most kids at puberty are even self conscious about their looks, boobs, menses, and grown body that they value their privacy
Never seen any pre teen that wants to warm their parents bed, I would have walked her back jejely back to her bed, nonsense.

Is he a broke man

Does he have money

Men's beauty is in their pockets,

If he lacks money you should have a valid reason to be concerned

Asunke001:
Nice,just went through your blog. And it was interesting I must say.how long have you been there? I hope I will like it and really looking forward to change of continents. WI'll send you. An email about some few questions and answers /advices that I hope u will be willing to give
Thank you.

Am also very familiar with Nairobi and could be of help, how about you post your questions here for diverse answers

cococandy:
Oh please what rubbish is that?

There's no managing this weird awkward situation.
Tell your husband and tell her too. It has to stop.

I agree, a 14 year old girl has already started menses, boobs, puberty, what is she doing jumping in her dads bed, never heard of such madness not in Africa at least,

Reminds me of the post about a dad bathing a 15 year old, what are we not gonna see for naira lol

kobonaire:
This could just be a FAKE story by the OP because in 2013 the OP claimed to be 28 years old and was seeking advice in this thread on how to have "wild sex" in his thread : https://www.nairaland.com/1533671/wild-bed
Now in 2016 the OP has suddenly turned 33 and is married to a fugly sugar daddy ..... SMH
[size=1pt]@Scaredy[/size]

Our job here in the forum is to advice. Stop acting detective.
Maybe she is confused the way she seems confused about her choices

Poster you describe my mother's parenting. She denies this however.

armyofone:
This school is not the reality for 99 percent of people living in Africa. 6000 K per term as in 6k dollars every 3 months....not bad
I wish an average black family could send their kids to such school. Even here most black family still can't afford private school. Misplaced priority everywhere.
Some here would rather go build a house back home than use the money to send their kids to private school or live in a nice community with good public school.

I agree with you, it's well worth it if you can afford the school, if not find a cheap classy school.

I would divorce immediately, just like how men divorce women when they find out they are not virgins.

At 14 sit her down, tell her no sleep over in daddy's bed.
What kind of 14 year old is that. Most like their freedom.

Give us your definition of his ugliness, is it his mannerism, etiquettes, height, fat or what,
What do you mean ugly, please help us understand

LaRoyalHighness:
Don't buy anything..... 5 years from now, you will thank me.

Poster follow this advice, I highly recommend this idea

Would you rather walk with a strikingly handsome man that treats you like a goat,

Your mentality is that of a 20 years old. You, yourself is the problem, you lack self esteem, self confidence and happiness,

My older sister nit picked men until she settled for one at 35, she still said he wasn't cute but felt in love and forgot looks, you should see the kind of good looking kids they sired, she now regrets for waiting to long for mr perfect.

Girl be proud of your man and flaunt him proudly.

taryour:
Sir/Ma its not about HIV not being a death sentence or not or if HIV doesnt kill faster than ebola or any ignorance. Its about TRUST and HONESTY . Once you dont start your home with this then that marriage ends from the very begining.

How many people are deceitful everyday, should those people be castigated or frowned upon because they withheld information,

Why act as hypocrites, what if you all walked into the marriage trust fully then husband wanders and bam they both get infected with hiv

Maybe the moment people shun hypocrisy this Africa will be a better place to live.

There are many couples living that one is positive and one negative, take example from majic johnson

Ignorance kill more than Ebola

Hiv is no longer a death sentence, a little education will help you all learn that you can live all your life time healthy with Hiv

I watched a girl born 30 years ago with Hiv and she is still alive and kicking.

Educate yourself my people.

Where is the step daughters real mum, is she alive?

davidif:
The Swiss are known for having the best boarding schools bro.

Am only interested in giving them education in Africa, I would consider college abroad, but other than that, no way,
South Africa also has good schools

Kayoski:
Are they selling indomie abroad..

Pls define the abroad ,is it Benin rep, Ghana or chad..

am sure it isn't Europe or the americas

Anyone that destroys your kids life is someone you can never toletate,
Wonder what your aunts reasoning is, what does she say.

Ednite:
cost of house= expensive
cost of food= cheap
cost of cloth= u can find very cheap, cheap, middle, expensive
two things i know is that Addis ababa is cheaper than Accra in EVERY sector except jeans.
and Ethiopian birr have more credit than naira
40 naira = just 5 ETB / Ethiopian birr cuz
1$ = around 200 naira but 21 ETB

Which areas of adis is decent for housing, and how much would rent be for a family of four,

How is safety for foreigners?

How is public transportation,

When it comes to matters of in laws you have to let his brother deal with him, not you, because half the time some in laws assume they are more important than you,

Have your husband talk to him

I took my mother mother in law shoes that did not fit intentionally

I took my father in law a pair of suit. Shoes, socks all fitting perfectly because he is more deserving and decent human being

Ednite:
yeah

How is life over there. Cost of housing, bills e.t.c

Looks like a country in progress