₦airaland Forum

Rubbish topic created by an im beci le!!
Nonsense!!

Araregem

Jack you dey fu ck up o!
Who send you work?
Na this mumu mod you dey wish happy birthday?
Mtchewww!!
Na wa for you!!!
Ruuuuuuubish !!!!

Cu m ming up with the reminder of the timetable in a sec!!
Make i go post one joke!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaghahahahahahahahahah

Sundays => freestyles
Mondays => Best s ex position and analysis

Fridays => s e x stories
saturdays => adult movies downloads

We embraced each other, belly to belly, ti ts to ti ts, lips to lips and we loved each other. Then I turned the light on and sat on her belly, looking her face, her dark black nipples in her chocolate body, her sparkling and dark brown eyes, her beautiful flat belly and her incredible nice hips. Probably the most beautiful experience in my whole live.
I can read this hundred times in a row and every time I enjoy and agree.
After this we went to her house and she showed me thepictures of her wedding, her family, her mother; she wanted affection and I think I gave that to her.
Oh yes, I still love her. But thenext day, she disappeared of my live. I tried to phone her several times to arrange a new appointment, but after a week she phoned me to don’t phone her anymore, due to her marriage. And of course I didn’t.
Isn’t that a story? Real happened!

Fu ck me or kill me


It’s not that bad as you possible imagine. No violence at all. Just love and lust. For the first time in my live, (I’m already 68) I met (and bleeped) a black lady. My whole live already I liked to Bleep a black lady, but being a “male white pig” it never happened. Already 43 years married and nevertheless in that sense a Virgin. Most of you are also, isn’t it? If not: tell me! Turn meup about interracial sex!
Anyway, this is what happened.
I own a nice house on the Westcoast of Canada. Mostly I’m alone there, because I like to be alone. It’s a typical neighborhood, small, no shopsat all, nor other facilities, just villa’s and extraordinary people. We just wave to each other, but hardly talk. Most, so not all of the people here, have houses in Vancouver orother parts of North America and/or other parts of the world. Just like me. I’m from the Netherlands and live partly in Holland (together withmy wife) and partly in my Canadian “hideaway”. My neighbor is a Chinese tycoon, owning a worldwide company. He’s 83, his wife has never been here and believe me it’s one of the most marvelous spots you can imagine. Unspoiled ocean view, a rock carved sauna and much much more. It takes to much time to talk about all that other people who live here.
Anyway, one of my neighbors is (was) a very high qualified member of the International (better to say: Global) Elite, already retired for years. No obligations anymore, just skipped from the board. He’s as deaf as a rock, but walks every day for several hours to keep himself alive and in the meantime learning a lesson from Homerus.
Once he was a high qualified professor, good looking and abright gadget to his female students. One of them, the lady whom I talking off, decided to catch him. AND SHE DID!
Women who want, do simply the job and catch what they want to catch. She did!
But years go bye. And when they married, she was 25; he was already 55. Now she’s 45and he of course 75. And when they married they joinedthe High Society everywhere. But now she’s still a beautiful,stylish and living lady, while he is just a bad copy of his past.
However we met eachother and visited. Nice evenings, excellent dinners, and high quality discussions about culture, politics and more.
But then!
It was a rainy Sunday afternoon. Playing a simple computer game. There she came! Arms wide, just like a bird in the wind, running to mydoor. I ran to the door and opened it just before she reached it. She just felt in my arms, I just had to do some steps behind, but she was there!
The night before we had a marvelous dinner and sometimes we looked at each other, not knowing (however) there was more than just interest. Of course you than feel some in your belly, but, come on, you’re in decent social gathering.
We drank a cup of tea, we chatted somewhat and she told me some more about herself. Sure I enjoined that and, sorry, she turned me up,because… she was really the black lady that I ever had in mind.
I decided to take another drink, because there is an end of drinking tea. I took a vodka and offered her a glass of wine. She never drank vodka and asked me a nip of my shotglass. Sure she got. And on that moment I was sitting beside her and touchedher hand. Or something else, Ireally don’t remember exactly.
Anyway, on that particular moment she looked at me with her sparkling brown eyes and, just believe it, started toundress herself, looking me inmy eyes.
Never experienced that ever before, but, forgive me, I’m a man and all my live I‘m “women oriented” And I Like It!And will never be else up to the day I depart!
In a split second we decided (decided?), just went upstairs to the “holy place” in my house. It took just seconds to UnCloth and felt in each others arms, belly to belly, her tits to my breast, her legsaround my legs.
Probably the most exciting moments in my live. I embracedher with all my power and she gave it back to me. Half the size she is to me, she powered me out of my own bed and I had to use all my energy to keep her aside me. Itouched her tits, her marvelous black nipples, I kissed her and tasted her tongue, I felt her swollen and wet cunt, and yes I licked her on all places and we loved each other as we never did before; anyway I didn’t. We did love each other, surely.
But… I was not able to penetrate her. Yes, just my fingers, and she enjoined it, but the ultimate joy was of course to be deep into each other. Get ready. But I couldn’t! To nervous I suppose. So what she probably wanted I could it offer her. But she accepted me… and I was so happy!
“Bleep me or kill me”, she saidto me in total adoration. “Sorry love”, I said, “I’m very sorry, but I’m so nervous about what happens to me tonight, I’m not able to Bleep you, however I want to. And how often you ask me, is it thousand times, I don’t kill you!

I've told you guys before but your stewpidity wont make y'll understand, inclusive of those useless mods who call themselves Dani and ben!
Offtopics dont freak me!, i prefer having my thread in the front page for 60 secs than owning an offtopic thread lasting a decade in this God forsaking nonsense section!!
If you fo ols would remember i asked the rubbish mods to delete or lock up my thread when it all started since the i diotic Badosky started having insomnia because of offtopic,inclusive of the fact that i didnt wanna fight -Mikuz just wanted peace to reign - but  the cowardly Dani went ahead to stick mine and the useless girls' all because p ric k dey scratch the i mbe cile; I said ok to the development in as much as the conditions he gave then was a bit ok and solved half of the problem though the poor decision was grossly impartial!!
Now the stup id girls offtopic turned into something 'else'. Dani decided that the best way to resolve the issue was to terminate my topic(which had nothing to do with hers; a topic that was like every other thread in NL) together with hers.
^ thats not really what got my dander up. The issue is this : how could he had made such decision without contacting me first? Do the useless mods here think am a fool? All because i've kept quiet all these while?
You i diots cant take me for a foo l and go away with it!! I swear by!!
Thunder go fire Una father nyansh!!!
Shey na this mumu topic. No be NL we dey?
And i have told you f ags go ahead and ban me, im already going against your so-called rules and am insulting the mods.
Ban me o !!

She climbed off him and turnedto face the headboard. She put her hands on the headboard, looked over her shoulder, smiled at him and said “do me now big boy”. With that Mark took his cock in hand and slowly rubbed it up and down the lips of her pussy before he pushed himself in. Once he was all the way in he grabbed her hips and started thrusting hard and fast. Her shouts of “yes! yes!” encouraged him onward as he slid his hands up to herbreasts and held on to them for several more strokes before moaning “oh god” and pulled her back to him so he could kiss her while he shot his second load while buried deep inside her. Both breathing hard, they leaned forward and used the headboard for support beforelaying down together. They smiled at each other and Jill said “that was fun we’ll have to do that again sometime” and put her clothes back on and left the room.

Mark couldn’t believe this washappening. Here was a girl, more beautiful than any of theones he had jerked off to, kissing him and giving him a hand job. He just closed his eyes and ran his hands through her long blonde hair as his tongue wrapped aroundhers. The excitement of it all was getting to be too much to handle and he had to push her hand off his cock before he shot his load. She whispered in his ear “that’s ok, but let’s get naked and have some fun” and proceeded to pull off her shirtto reveal a set of 38Bs and a nicely trimmed pussy that had just a small patch of blonde hair above it. He hurriedly yanked off his shirt and went right for her breasts, kissing them and sucking on them. Tohis lips they felt just the right size compared to some of the fake-looking ones he’s seen in the porn magazines and films he’s looked at. She just smiled and sighed at the feeling, wrapping her hands around his head pulling him to her chest. She then asked “are you a virigin? Afraid of cumming to soon? That’s ok, we can take things slow as you want” He sighed as she just hugged him.
After a couple of minutes she pushed his head down and told him to kiss and lick his way lower. He planted soft kisses on her chest and belly until he got down to her inviting pussy. At this point, autopilot took over as he relied on what he had seen in porn movies and read in letters in the magazine to know what to do. He cupped his hands under her ass to bring her closer to his face and then dove in, running his tongue all along the lips of herpussy, occasionally slipping it between them. He was in heaven enjoying the sweet taste of her honeypot. Her sighs turned into soft moans as his tongue slid up and down and then in and out between the fleshy folds of her womanhood. He slid a hand around slightly and began to finger-Bleep her slowly with his index finger while drawing the lips of her wet pussy into his mouth one at a time so he could savor her taste. This got her moaning louder, which in turn got his cock harder.
After 10 minutes of eating her out, he stood up, took a condom from the nightstand next to the bed (he had them there to make his father think he was getting some), put it on, and then put her legs over his shoulders and slid inside her making her moan even more. He leaned forwardand gave her an open-mouthed kiss and whispered to her how good she felt. He began thrusting into her hard and fast, just like he had fantasized about while looking at porn. Her moans turned into screams of pleasure which became sensory overload for him and he lasted just a few more thrusts before shooting his load while his cock was deep in her pussy. He laid on top ofher breathing hard, telling herhow great it was and that he couldn’t believe this was happening.
She told him to roll over onto his back because things weren’t over yet. He complied and she removed the condom,emptying the contents into hermouth, to which she said “youtaste so good” and then got on her knees and started to give him his first Mouth Gig. Thesensation of her mouth on his cock was greater than he could have imagined. Her wet lips slid up and down providing just the right suction as he watched his entire cock disappear into hermouth and he could feel the tiphitting the back of her throat. He was in heaven as she deep-throated him, and he gently put his hands down on the back of her head, running his hands through her blonde hair. Then she switched to stroking him while licking his balls, caressing each one withher tongue before slowly sucking it into her mouth. She switched hands and played with his balls while licking up and down the length of his now hard-again cock which was sticking straight up.Eventually she reached over to the nightstand and grabbed another condom and slid it onto him while sucking on his balls. She then climbed onto top of him and slowly slidher pussy down on his erection moaning as each inch disappeared inside her. She started to slowly move up anddown on his cock, grinding herhips as she went, putting her hands on his chest for support. She did this for several minutes before having Mark sit up and bury his face in her cleavage while she continued the slow and steady pace, moaning loudly, wanting to make sure he lasted longer this time. After another five or ten minutes in this position she said to him “Ineed it hard and fast again, I’m going to get off you and you’re going to do me from behind.” Mark smiled as this was the favorite fantasy position.

Mark was still feeling down about his mother’s death three years ago. She didn’t get to see him graduate high school last year or see him offto his first year at an Ivy League university this year. He was shy, wore glasses, and wasn’t a jock and had just an average build. He didn’t work out, preferring to focus on his studies. He was also very shy and lacked confidence in his looks so he didn’t date and as a result was still a virgin after that freshman year. He was also upset that his rich father, Jeff, had decided to move on and start dating again last year. He thought that most of the women his father had chosen to date were just air-headed bimbos — attractive women with little intelligence who were either after his money or who he was using to solve a midlife crisis.
However all that changed the day Mark came home for summer break after his first year of college. His father toldhim that he met a wonderful woman that he was going to marry and that she had a daughter who was a freshmanat the big state university andthey were all going to go out to dinner that night so everyone could meet. Mark looked at his father stunned asking how he could do this and his father told him “sometimes you just know when it’s the right person andI wanted you to focus on yourstudies instead of being judgmental or worried about me.”
That night at dinner Mark sawwhy his father was smitten with Beth, his new bride-to-be. Beth was a lawyer who had a fantastic figure, great breasts, platinum blonde hair and stunning blue eyes. She might have been in her 50s, but she looked like she was inher 30s. He was thinking that she truly fits the definition of a MILF. Beth’s daughter Jill obviously inherited her mother’s looks as she was a younger, sexier, version of her mother. Beth and Jill’s friendly smiles and demeanor put Mark at ease and there was great conversation between everyone during dinner. After dinner Mark told his dad that he had picked a winner.
The wedding took place in early August, before Mark andJill had to return to their respective colleges. One nightafter the new family had moved into their shared home,Jill knocked on the door to Mark’s room and then enteredwithout waiting for a response, wearing just a longt-shirt that barely covered her ass, and said to him “I’venoticed the way you’ve been checking me out, why haven’t you said anything to me aboutit? You know you’re kind of cute” Mark stammered, not knowing what to say, as he had barely enough time to stash the porn magazine he had been jerking off to. Jill looked down and smiled, noticing Mark’s 7-inch hard onsticking up under the covers, and said to him “I can help you with that” and proceeded to reach down and begin stroking Mark’s cock through the sheets while leaning in to give him an open-mouthed kiss.

Oboy f uck go sweet for this motel o.
Lemme check the beds they have here!

Choi!!
Nice!!
All i need is a chick with broad chests and very tight c un t.
One would do for now!!

And its my turn now to display my own madness. You've all acted! Its now time i grace the stage.
#no dulling!!

I leaned forward to grab her brea sts and held onto them as I pumped into her for several minutes alternating between quick, hard thrusts and slow pumps. She was moaning softly saying how good it felt.
I pulled out and said “you might like this better” and held her as s, spreading her cheeks apart as I slowly slid my pussy-juice lubed co ck into her tight as s.
She groaned “yeah baby that feels so good” as I inched my way in. Once I was all the way in, I grabbed her hips and started pumping into her hard and fast.
I was trying to go faster and harder with each thrust and she kept perfect time by bucking back against me, making the sound of our bodies slapping together even louder. She was rubbing her c lit hard while I fuc ked her as s.
After a few minutes she again shouted “yeah baby that feels so fu cking good” and I couldn’t agree more as I felt my own org asm starting to build. A
minute later she shouted “I’m cum ming!” and seconds later I shouted “So am
I” and shot my load into her tight as s.
As we slumped forward, our sweaty bodies pressed together, I reached
forward, grabbed her t its and pulled her upright against me and said “That
was fantastic, but we can’t tell Cara about this”
Sherry said “Maybe we won’t,but you did disappointment me”
I said “How?”
Sherry said “With all the attention you were paying to my t its I thought
for sure I was going to get to see you shoot your load all over them.” and
with that she brought a n ipple up to her tongue and licked it.
I said “sorry about that”
Sherry said “I’ll forgive you, however keeping it a secret from Cara will
depend on one thing.”
Horrified I asked “What?”
Sherry gave an evil smile and said “You have to fu ck me that good anytime and anywhere I want the rest of my visit.”
Little did I realize how often she’d want it (to be continued…)

Fun with Sherry

I couldn’t believe how lucky I got when my sister-in-law Sherry came to visit her sister (my wife, Cara). Sherry’s single and Cara is her only sister. I was feeling a little down at the time as I was unemployed and upset with myself for allowing myself to get out of shape and pack on some extra pounds.
One morning while Cara was at work, I was lounging around on the living room sofa in a t-shirt and shorts when Sherry came into the room wearing gym shots and a t-shirt, complaining her feet were bothering her.
Sherry is 40, but a knockout. The combination of her short, dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, slim figure, tight as s and 36D bre asts never fails to turn me on. I often fantasize about fucki ng her from behind or having a thre esome with Sherry and Cara.
I offered to give her a foot rub, which she accepted. We made small talk while I massaged her feet, occasionally sliding a hand up to massage her calves as well. She just smiled and said the massage felt good, not commenting on my hands roaming up above her ankles.
I offered to massage the rest of her legs and she said that would be nice. So I
draped her feet over my legs while sitting next to her (she was laying down) and proceeded to massage her thighs, making sure my fingers stopped at the bottom of her shorts. Although I had the hots for her, I didn’t want to get her pissed off and tell Cara that I was attempting to make a pass at her, so I was very careful with how high up her legs my hands went. However I did notice that she had her eyes closed a big smile on her face.
When I finished she said “that was wonderful, do you think you could massage my back?”
I responded “Sure” and she asked would it be easier if she was bent over leaning on a table or flat on her stomach on the floor. I responded with bent over the table.
As we got up Sherry’s foot brushed against my co ck. Despite the fact that she’s never shown any interest in me I had to wonder if it was accidental or intentional. Soon I was giving her the massage,keeping my hands outside the t-shirt for fear of her telling Cara I made a pass at her. As I massaged I realized she wasn’t wearing a bra as there were no bra straps in the way of my hands.
After 5-10 minutes she said to me “maybe this will make things easier for you” and proceeded to take off her shirt bringing those beautiful 36Ds into view. I stared for a minute and felt my c ock begin to get hard. She just chuckled,winked, and said “You’re married to my kid sister, don’t get any ideas.”
However I did get an idea and decided to throw caution into the wind. While continuing the back massage I would let my fingertips “accidentally” go under the waistband of the shorts to I was brushing them against the top of her as s, making it seem like it was part of the massage.
I felt myself getting harder the longer she was bent over in front of me and topless. Then she shocked me by asking “if I said it was ok for you to make a move on me, what would you do?”
With that I took a step forward so she could feel my hard-on pressing against her as s and brought my hands down off her shoulders and went directly for her breasts– caressin g them in my hands and rolling the n ipples between two fingers I then leaned forward licked from her neck to her ear and whispered “I’d probably start like this”
She responded “that’s good, but I’m sure you can do better. let’s see what else you’ve got”
So I continued the massage for another minute, once again pausing to caress her breastswhile my hands were on their way down, but this time I didn’t stop at the top of her gym shorts, I proceeded to pull them down to discover that she was nakedunderneath. I then used two fingers to gently massage herclit, and brought the other hand up to massage her breast.I leaned into her and asked “is this better?”
With that she sighed as she reached back and pulled out mycock stroking it gently and said “does this answer your question?” I told her it did and hurriedly took off my own clothes so I was nakedas well.
Then I stepped up right behind her and started to massage herass, pulling the cheeks apart every so often while she continued to stroke me and caress my balls. But I couldn’t resist those magnificent breastsso I stood her up and turned her around so we were face-to-face. We shared a passionate kiss – our tongues intertwined Then I moved my mouth down and started sucking on the breastsone at a time, nibbling on the nippleswhile right hand was busy alternating between rubbing her clitand sliding two fingers slowly inside her
All the while she was slowly stroking my cockand caressing my balls with a perfect touch. Every few strokes she’d pause to spit on her hand to make sure this prime handjobwas a wet one.
After a good 10-15 minutes I said “do you want me inside you” to which Sherry whispered “yes”. I turned her around and bent her over and slowly eased my wet, aching cockinto her tight, wetpussy.

And you think this would solve it all?
Ive told you guys => get ready to ban this Id cos ive had it up to here!!
I aint going back on my words!!
Na banning and deleting be una work from hence forth. No peace for the wicked!
My own don start!!
Its on!!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahbhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahagahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

lemme start creating my usernames already.
No time.
Una go tell my offence today!!

Dani what kind of a human are you?
I dont want to rain insults on you both you are giving me millions of reason to do so.
Now listen, i aint posting this to defend myself or get my topic sticked back but i gat to say this;

You are unsticking my topic because i broke the rules? I insulted or bullied a mod or a member? What exactly was the offence I perpetuated that warranted by topic to be unsticked?
For Gods' sake you can do whatever you like with the threads in Jokes section (afterall you are the mod here) but now you just shown the world the that you are the most biased creature the earth has ever seen.
Ok fine, you unsticked the thread because Jackpot and co ehm. . Ehm. . What?
Jesus Christ wait o!! I want to believe Jack and the rest were posting some 'certain' write ups in the other offtopic and thats why mine got unsticked? God! Wetin concern me concern Jack?Is Mikuz the same of Jackpot? The summary of your last post says it all => why on earth should I 'suffer' for the 'sins' of others? So I don turn Jesus christ for Jokes section overnight abi? Anybody wey commit offence here from hence forth na Mikuz go 'bear the brunt' abi??
And what makes you think the posting of 'certain' replies wont continue if you allow someone else open another offtopic?
So because I've kept quiet all these while you think i dont know what am doing right? That i dont have a plan? Fine!!! Let the next person open it. Na then you go see pure madness! This one una dey do here na childs' play. No be ban? By the time you don delete 500 messages in on day we go know.
Oh, you think say owning an offtopic for jokes section dey freak me? I far prefer having my thread in the front page even if its for 60 secs incase you dont know!
Get your banning tools ready!! How about having 50 usernames banned/deleted every 24 hours?
Oya let the fun begin!!

N/B : I aint going on this lane because I want my offtopic back or something. Since we all dont want to use our heads,lets then put dialogue and peace aside!!
Infact @ Dani/Ben [b]DELETE MY OFFTOPIC[/B] right away! make I shout am again?


Na now una go see real madness!!
And Please dont forget to delete this post!!

he he he,
Otooro how body?
You still dey Woji?

happy birthday bro!

he he he

my Gem,
yes na,
i nefa do that thing before.


Choi! I ve met my missing rib.

Araregem my love, forget all these mumu boys.
They are ony but deceiving you.
You know ya a vely fine girl and im a vely fine boy too.so that makes us a perfect match!
Your happiness is all I crave for!
You know I can take good care of you.

Araregem whats that?
Are you pregnant or what?
Please o!
I wan marry virgin!

sharap there!
You dont have anything to say.
Small boy!!
Shey you wan challenge me!!

Killz continue posting ya jokes jor!
Or she don dey give you spiritual conji or what? . . You don dey . . .
*gives him a slap and turns his head*
am talking to you and you are staring at her manchester city abi?
Me and you don dey drag woman kwo?
Try that nonsense again.

you see why Jamb made Use Of English compulsory?

you no dey shame,see the kind grammer you dey blow for public forum.
After dem go say nigerian schools no dey try, Say we no get qualified teachers!
'Otooro is absolute going insane'
no wonder Otooro never come online since,the bomb don scatter em system!

sutoboy:
otooro is absolute going insane

see bomb!!!
Guy take it easy!
See my head o!