₦airaland Forum

Oh girl!  "Fall flat" ke!  You dey for ground, in fact "6 feet under"!  Just hold ya sef, get small liver, take shame crawl out of the hole wen you don bury ya self!  Wonder, wonder, wonder--(singing) Go "slick"willy Nick!  Give it your best shot!  She is already yours and ain't no going back now! Nairaland na wah!  Just when we thought we had heard and seen it all!  

"im skin brush yours"  Wait till im real "snake skin" brush you! You will speak in tongues then!

Sniff Sniff!  Anyone smell a tart? Da real "pop tart" with strawberry frosting! YUMMY!

@Bulga
You are so right! Off I go jo! Happy hour wan start for our booyaka reggae club tonight. You bet the 'ganja" room is steaming already. Yeah mon! Later jare! I leave dem for you!

------------------and name that new website kobo "kobo" land!

Na today! The line is too long jo! Ehindero's matter will come up in the year 2050, wen im don enter grave! Have faith my pipo, have faith!

Are you sure? Then he sure writes more than any babe I know! This one go sabi gossip wellu wellu oh!

@Orimili
I can tell you went to "typing" school? Did you learn any short hand? You did not add anything new to what nl pipo have been drilling into our thick skulls! Just relax babe! Aint no one competing with you!

Who 'Hole' you?

Yup! uh-hmmmmm! We don hear. I beg rest!

I think oga Seun should start asking for IDs so he can shoo certain groups of people and quarantine them on one corner of this web page!  You no see juvenile question?

Here we go again!  You expect people to read this your "dear John" letter when we have got to page #5 on this thread?  You are not serious!  You have only posted 2 entries darling, so do not get carried away!  Happy virgin sunday to you! Wait till your 40's and 50's to have your children, so they can visit you in an old folks home!

So at 17, no school, no job, no direction!  But expert in "kitten"matters! YOU DON ENTER WAHALA BE DAT! Grandpa at 30!   See your mouth like "she meant everything to me"! I am so sorry for that child. Well done oh! Please we do not want any more virgin topics!  I think we have had enough for the year! ALL DEZ "YAHOO' BABY MAMA/BABY DADDY DRAMA!

@diddysmile
God bless you!  Na you talk am!  Dem really fit each other!  Like this was his first time?  I do not pity children like this "yahoo boy" here!  Go and get a freaking job and buy some diapers.  Don't really care if your grandma was on my kind of drugs! BULLISHILLITO!

Here comes another bush one! Like you have neva masturbated before! Stupid question! No! Just stick to ya wham bam and thank you mam M.O.! No wonder you still dey for Onitsha market!

Any history of "sexual molestation" from home, school or church? Tyson and Hollyfield for mother and father? Your house dirty or some'un? No nintendo to play like your friends! Just baffled! You are a little vague. Please shed some light on your afflicton. Expert advice is waiting here on nl! Trust na!

See my friend dey on line oh! The original one and only "OBOATIOKO" I dey hail oh!

Adults have taken over this topic I can see!   You will not hear "phim" from these nl virgins again.  Una don drive them comot!  Thank God! I have been waiting for the demise of this thread! Long hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss! Na wetin!  Every where you go na virgin talk or Mouth Action talk!  Can you lick this? Can you suck that? which positon? That position! Thank God work starts for me on Monday make I go back to my more mature website NigeriaWorld. Where only serious minded people dey for there!

@ davidylan
you have remained an enigma to me until now!  I have only been on this funland about a week and I am getting to know some of you well.  Hang with me please!  Not many mature gals are on here so I do not bother to dialogue with most of them! I have always been a tom boy anyway. I guess more testosterone than estrogen!  By the time you get married, how many virgins will be available to you as potential brides?  No one is vilifying virginity.  The issue is being realistic about it.  

Most people who encounter virgin these days are rapists, poediphiles or plain weirdos.  We all were virgins once! (believe it or not ) Like most rightly said, except for religious reasons or choice, no bid deal!  By 18-21, we have already disvirgined ourselves due to curiousity or sheer "hormonal surge",  so which virgin you go marry if you are 30 and above.  Unless some pervert goes to marry a 10-14 year old!  Like debosky said----abeg!

As for you: @Topic!

why are you avoiding answering questions of your age and duration of your so called relationship here?  Sounds like you are an orphan.  No insults intended!  But there are certain things parents ought to have discussed with their children since they were 5 years old.  Did you miss those lessons or are you parents and family absent in your life! Just baffled!

@debosky
Na you biko! See as I dey follow you around this web page! You are not only a real man, but a mature one! I did not even think you visited this area of the website. Oga! I say I squat for you. I beg teach this novices some wisdom. I no dey like name friend for this website but I am applying to be your friend here. No shame inside! DEBOSKY FOR PRESIDENT! More ganja please!

@
debosky

Amen! Something to celebrate at last! More ganja please! A breath of refreshing common sense talk! You know? Why are some landers fascinated by this "thing"? You all do not realize that there is a time for everything! Besides, most of you have nothing to offer on this website but "OBOATIOKO" topics! Una dry sha! Anything else to offer us than virginity and Mouth Action? migosh!

Are you d famous "smithsonian relic"? @BIKINI I sleep well anytime!

Make una see wahala oh!  Wetin come cause all this big big grama?  Shooooooooooooooooo!

@BIKINI
I am only expressing myself as oga Suen permitted me to do.  I appreciate your generous "thesis" on this subject.  Yup!  I am not God.  My life is my life.  My daughter's life will be hers.  I am only a guide to her and not her "GOD"  She too will find her own way.  I can only love and support her like my darling mother did for me.  I graduated from University, married, had kids and so on and so forth.  Did not do badly at all with all the "ganja"!  So hail to ya 35 year old virgin.  I really do not sleep with this topic on my mind when I go to bed.  Remember we are here to entertain eachother not to castigate.  So darlin'  -------------try and have some fun.

See 500L computer engineering student for Naija?   Sound more like an alaba trader to me!  You ladies think this is "normal"---- I can only imagine the kinds of "guys" that "toast" you gals!  Can't even understand wot da "phock" his is rambling on about! You "BUSHITO"! Make una enjoy this one oh!  Awon "GHANA HIGH"!  Thank God for marriage oh!  This na the kain tin wey for dey talk to person now! Oh boy just start another thread!  Anyway that "oreofemi" of a character is still searching.  Una fit eachother!

I am not surprised! The way you sound, you are going to remain SINGULAR for a long time! Your medium of expression is so very faulty!

@BLKDiamond

Ganja is good and "crack is wack"!   Yeah babe I do not miss my ganja party on the weekends oh! I will have to see your ID first to share my ganja with you! I no wan go jail for endangering minors!

@Bulga
You think all these freaks you are looking for---NA ORDINARY EYE?  NOT EASY TO BE A FREAK OH!  All you freaks in the house---you know how it is now?  Na ordinary eye?  LOL!   Sorry, my people, the truly born natural freaks have not been born!  Those are "born agains"! You need ganja to operate!

Yup! Freaky is good!  But yu still have to prepare for these 35 yr virgin them type!  You might not always get a freak!  You might just make your own "custome made" freak!  To your own specifications! What if you fall in love with a "virgin" and it leads to marriage?  Make your own freak I say!

Gat to go now! Past my bed time. Have a good "virginless" weekend!

Did I have experience? You should be the one with experience. You think the hymen-breaking process is the problem? You are really not quite there! I say it is a psychological warfare! The physical act is on third of the problem. Getting the gal to put her butt in one place nko? So you can concentrate and do your job is the problem! That is where experience and planning comes in!

Oh come on guys!  Don't be chickens!  Nothing wrong with "humpin" a virgin!  You just have to demystify the process and you are half-way there! Since no lady in the house wants to face this topic because they are still wishing they were still virgins, (I guess to sell it on "yahoo" abi na ebay), I will help you guys get through this mystifying process.  Don't be afraid of these "concrete congo" virgins.  Nothing dey for inside!  I like to be honest always!

You might fall in love with one of these "concrete 'toe toe' of a virgin", so you might want to take a few lessons on how to go about it.  Any ladies in the house? You know that the first time of the "great attempt" is always frightening because of all the stories and drama you have heard about the "procedure"!  Fine! But you go back with your guy and plan better.  Abi no be so?  You no say I dey talk to much!   Communication is everything to me. For me, the first attempt was like--uh uh.  So there was no need to even bother--- I knew what will happen.  I had done my research! I had vowed it was going to be a pleasant experience and not a fighting matter! So we forgot about the first attempt--just did the feeling around thing to ease tension for the moment.  You know what I mean? Then decided how to make it a pleasurable experience da next time! Ladies, this is where I leave you and go to the guys!  They need more help at this point.  Guys this is something you cannot do under stress and sweat!  Both of you must be relaxed! Like Bulga said, you might lose your "object" abi na "magic stick" and the girl will hate you for the next 24 hrs---only oh! See their faces!

What did we do?  LOL   Story dey come oh!  Hang with me.  Now I told you I was 18.  This bad moda phocker from that warri area was only 21!  This guy apparently has been disvirgining all the area mothers and daughters of the neighbourhood.  We go buy marijuana and kain kain keep for house.  After this guy feed me finish for evening we come relax!  About 2 hrs later, after the food don digest finish, we come begin inhale our stuff oh!  With a little booze to match.  LET ME TELL YOU!  THE SPIRIT CAME UPON US!  COME SEE FIGHT!  Long story short.  Nobody knew what happened.  A great spiritual experience! By the time it was all over about 4hrs (with breaks in between of course) -nobody knew which bodily fluid belonged to who!  Everywhere scatter scatter and jaga jaga!  Shooooooooo! I think the man lost more than I did sef! Trust Naija now, no light, no air-conditioner for hostel! Bloody Naija off campus hostel! We come sleep oh  for 10 hrs straight!  Na so oh!  Very lovely experience!   Till today we still they hola at eachother even when everyone don marry!  You know now?    NOTHING LIKE FIRST LOVE!

We call it "OPERATION DO OR DIE" till today.  Thank God the bobo dey another country.  Our marriage for don kpafuka for temptation!  Thank you Jesus!   You guys should NOT go and buy date rape drug oh!  I say it was mutual consent between us oh!  I bought my on Sh*t to smoke and drink! Since my aunties and uncles where into those kinds of things!  So nobody force me oh!  BUT IT WAS LOVELY!   Una go kill person oh!    My fellow girl pals will really hate me now for telling their secret!  Make una go siddon for convent jare! 

Good!  But way too too too many duplicated and triplicated topics posted! Pages are getting too long. Can you please combine similar topics into one? Thanks for being a super host and a good sport!