Elsueno: Mr millstone, it seems to me, U are just to desperate for LOVE & affection from ur toxic papa..And him dey use am to manipulate u well well as u seem not to be able to think for yourself. Wetin be ur problem sef...why u dey chuvk ur head for ur pops business & him family despite him showing no sign of changing his ways dat destroyed ur family & divorced ur mom.
Anyways ur an adult sha, u go learn from experience
We were very close to my dad growing up. With his flaws before the drama he really knew how to take care of his family. We never lacked anything, like I said I grew up around alot of the influential men you see on TV today so forgive me for missing the man my father was supposed to be
So sorry about all you've been through. You're simply a product of a marriage of 2 unequally yoked people. You've not said much about your mom but I perceive she is a true child of God (wheat) but married a tare.
Your dad is not even a Christian to begin win. He may be a believer but not a Christian. The difference is in the fruits they bear.
I'm glad you're in a better place but, more importantly this salvation thing is a personal race. We simply have to pray for others and do our part in preaching to them.
You need to cut off your dad for now. Forgive him for the pain he's caused you, your mom and your siblings. Intercede for him if perhaps God will have mercy on him and he still has a shot at salvation.
Love your mom. She has really tried. She will make a good marriage counsellor now because she will be preaching and counselling from wealth of experience, if she has indeed learnt the needed lesson. And not preaching from regret and bitterness. She should find a place in her heart to forgive your dad too even if she doesn't talk to him. She can pray for him too. It will bring her inner peace. Let her know that him leaving her was actually God setting her free from the bondage she got herself into.
Please re-dedicate your life to Christ. Ensure you are baptised in the Holy Spirit. The absence of the Holyspirit indwelling is why we often resort to substances to fill the void.
You are the Son of a Pastor (your mom) certainly you have a calling even though it might not be the pulpit. Be intentional to know Christ personally, not as a religion but as your LORD and Savior- Your guide and teacher through life.
I'm sure being a pastors son, you know these things. When you receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit, Word will become Flesh in you. It goes from being a head knowledge to a reality and lifestyle. Give yourself time to grow. Don't be in a hurry to be successful, to be a pastor, to marry. Pressure will come but the Prosperity of your soul is primary.
Thanks for sharing your story, this honesty will by God's grace help others speak out too. I pray by this time next year, we will hear a good testimony concerning you and your household in Jesus name. Amen.
Thank you for this. I hope I can grow positively and heal from this too. Thank you
So sorry about all you've been through. You're simply a product of a marriage od 2 unequally yoked people. You've not said much about your mom but I perceive she is a true child of God (wheat) but married a tare.
Your dad is not even a Christian to begin win. He may be a believer but not a Christian. The difference is in the fruits they bear.
I'm glad you're in a better place but, more importantly this salvation things is a personal race. We simply have to pray for others and do our part in preaching to them.
You need to cut off your dad for now. Forgive him for the pain he's caused you, your mom and your siblings. Intercede for him if perhaps God will have mercy on him and he still has a shot at salvation.
Love your mom. She has really tried. She will make a good marriage counsellor now because she will be preaching and counselling from wealth of experience, if she has indeed learnt the needed lesson. And not preaching from regret and bitterness. She should find a place in her heart to forgive your dad to even if she doesn't talk to him. She can pray for him too. It will bring her inner peace. Let her know that him leaving her was actually God setting her free from the bondage she got herself into.
Please re-educate your life to Christ. Ensure you are baptised in the Holy Spirit. The absence of the Holyspirit indwelling is why we often resord to substances to fill the void.
You are the Son of a Pastor (your mom) certainly you have a calling even though it might not be the pulpit. Be intentional to know Christ personally, not as a religious but as your LORD and Savior. Your guide and teacher through life.
I'm sure being a pastors son, you know this things. When you receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit, Word will become Flesh in you. It goes from being a head knowledge to a reality and lifestyle. Give yourself time to grow. Don't be in a hurry to be successful, to be a pastor, to marry. Pressure will come but the Prosperity of your soul is primary.
Thanks for sharing your story, this honesty will by God's grace help others speak out too. I pray by this time next year, we will hear a good testimony concerning you and your household in Jesus name. Amen.
Thank you for this. I hope I can grow positively and heal from this too. Thank you Also my Mom is doing well now. She's running the church and even has her own building. She never remarried stating her life right now is for her kids and grand kids
Clashhh1: See better family wey prick wan destroy! This story na "Omo". It's just sad how your dad allowed his third leg take the lead in his life cus it's very obvious he's got no control over it. He ruined everything and the sad reality is that you CANNOT completely cut them off.
I'll suggest you keep your distance and respond to anything from afar. Take care of your mom and look after your immediate siblings + disregard whatever your dad says or does cus your papa na Manipulator wey sabi play mind game with people not considering the mental damages they go through.
Pastor for that matter? Well na title wey anybody fit give himself sha.
And lastly, cut down on alcohol/drugs, focus on your business/Job
Having read your story, I have made my deduction thus:
Street runs in your family among the males...a lion cannot give birth to a goat. Na him fellow lion e go born! So like father like sons.
Your introduction into alcoholism, drug use and prostituting rings no be your papa attitude lead you into am...e dey run for your family! That is why that your 19 year old brother join cos he was watching your father run things.
Your papa like fast life but he carry church and being minister of gospel dey cover him iniquities... reason why I don't go to any damn church!
Your dad's concubine (his secretary) knew fully well that he is a married man and was still opening kpekus for him and even travelled out with him. Wetin woman dey do woman. Now she don receive her own karma.
In short, Devil just carry your family play 10sure odd and all enter.
The only advice I will give you is to amend your ways, cut off entirely from your old man...pray that God blesses you and become successful...take care of that poor old woman who is your mother and make her proud...then marry and have kids but don't be abusive to your wife like your father.
Funny I've discussed this with my brother about this and how we should be mindful. One of the reasons why i feel a total disconnect from them will help me
adspelite: You had good jobs your lil sis wasn't trained, you invested badly, you got yourself back on track your baby bro is a snare to you. *Bro* Even You need JESUS
Oh my lil sis eventually went to school forgot to mention it. She has established her business and is doing well now. I have been working on myself too
Buffalo2: The attention you supose to give your mum based on all her efforts on you is what you are giving your dad, that's why you are having it rough.
I messed up not gonna lie. Shouldn't have given him a chance
tiswell: Are you sure you are truly your father's blood?
Lol I've asked myself this in the past and even after this incident but looking at my father's behavor it is understood. He don't even have a relationship with his own siblings and kinsmen
MISTAICEY02288: Hmmm that's a touching story right there. We I will be honest with you. Do exactly as you think you should which is to CUT EM OFF! Your Dad doesn't look like someone who is going to turn a new leaf anytime soon, and your brother is deadly and may hurt or even kill you if care isn't taken. Imagine your own brother making such heavy allegations against you despite the fact that you are only trying to draw him close and teach him proper manners. Same guy blew his school fees, heavily Into drugs and obviously has no life goals. If your Poppa wants to ruin his life, let him do so. That shouldn't bother you much cos they obviously don't want you in...
If you continue to keep close with such person, he might begin to envy your progress in life and come hunting you down. Yes, he's capable of that, going by this story of yours. Also, you said getting closer to them has affected your growth and plunged you to problems. I'm sure you don't want that to keep happening to you Bro...
MR Man, Focus on yourself, your Mom and your Sister for now. Thank God your Older Sis has escaped the madness already and you're doing the best you can for yourself too. Focus on helping your Momma and kid Sis and if possible, keep them far away from those people. Forget your Old Man and that guy completely. Stay away from them and watch from afar cos You don't need them. If God wants, you all will be cool with each other later in life. And if not, let it be that way... Peace!
The honesty is very much appreciated. Thank you for this
GboyegaD: It is very tough and hopefully, your story will teach our young men who thinks raiding should child in a good home is out of place.
That said you didn't say much about your younger sister your day refused to train. Hope she is doing very well now.
As for your brother, he is an adult. I will advice you take maybe a weekend trip together to bond more. Make him realize he is an adult and by law, he is responsible for his action. Make him understand the end of those involved in such vices.
Lastly, if you are Yoruba or understand Yoruba, play this song by Funmi Adam's titled Omode o. Here's the link:
My younger sister is doing very fine now thank you. She has her business running and finally went back to school trained by my mother and elder sister. For my brother I'm giving him and my father the much needed space
Shezzman: Read your story word for word and I do really feel for you. Is sad we can't choose family. I can relate with everything you wrote out here. If staying away from your dad will give you peace of mind please go ahead. However, do not hesitate to do the needful in terms of support when the needs arises.
In 2007 my parents divorced, part of the reasons was my Dad's infidelity and abusive nature towards my mom and siblings. My Dad is an Evangelist, a once prominent one before the divorce and had workers both male and female working for him from drivers to pastors and he occasionally has affairs with his female workers, this usually makes the male workers back then to walk out on him after discovering this. There were three of us all born in the 90s so we witnessed my dad's growth as well as his abuses towards my mom as well as occasional affairs with his workers which would always results in fights between my mom and him, on one occasion in 1997 my mom found out about his affairs and took three of us to Ibadan to live with his Boss at that time Rev. Wale Oke who warned him and sent us back home, on arrival my dad nearly killed my mom and it was an elderly neighbor and his family back then that beat him up before he stopped. 2004 my parents had the fourth child my baby brother and the following year they had a fight again after my mom caught him in office with his then secretary and he beat her up along with her sister and my elder sister for confronting him.
He continued working with this his secretary and also having affairs with other ladies. 2006 my mom found out and they had a big fight which shattered the church they had back then, we weren't also sparred from his wrath. To make matters worse he would come to the church announcing the closure of the church and removal of my mom as an ordained Pastor despite the fact that she went to Redeem Christian Church Pastoral school, the people did not accept his demands citing his infidelity. December 2007 they had another big fight and they finally divorced. My Dad seized my 3 year old brother, against court order, and relocated to South Africa and Kenya. I and my two sisters stayed with my mom and she did the best she could running the church and providing meals, after attempts to punish failed my dad then took care of our education fee while still keeping my brother away from us and parading around the country and other African countries with this his secretary as his wife, soon after she had a daughter for him. My mom struggled to raise us right and to her defense she really did her best but I had to deal with the anger and bitterness on my own path, weed and alcohol was my escape and soon after I was lured into prostitutes during the 2go era by a guy i met online, I was 18 when this happened, my family didn't know about this, I graduated best student in my faculty and got great jobs in both the private and finally the public sector. Save to say I do not let this habits affect my inputs at work or relationship with people.
My elder sister graduated successfully got high flying jobs and married a big shot, they're doing fine with kids now. My younger sister was the victim in all this as my dad refused to train her through school. During my school years I reconnected with my dad and brother only to find out my brother had been raised believing my dad's secretary to be his mom and the daughter from their affair his only sibling. My dad has raised him with the idea that he is the only son and even when we reconnected would believe the words of a 9 year old even though this boy can lie just to get what he wants from my dad and he would believe it.
2015 after graduation and my sister's marriage we fell out and even without his support i got jobs in places that needed high connections and even started three different businesses with my vices unknown to my family members. 2020 some elders in the family stepped in to settle the issues between my dad and my siblings and in that five year period thankfully we have all done well for ourselves without him. In 2021 i took some high end loans from the office and made some other investments but they went wrong and that is were I shot myself in the foot. By 2022 the pressure on me was too much and i had to go to my dad's place pending when i sort myself out and man i saw shege pro-max. I recently sorted myself out and moved out of his apartment.
For my Dad 2014 the secretary had to leave him when he was becoming abusive and her family objected their union as she was the cause of his divorce, she went along with their daughter which he has refused to carter for. That same year he married a younger lady but the marriage did not last a year, he then had another woman who they were together for a year it was this woman that caused our rift in 2015 and i left him, he then started an affair with a woman from Kenya that ended just last year while sending her monthly upkeep and paying for her rent in a luxury apartment in Kenya. January of this year he started an affair with another elderly female Pastor in Abuja and they began living together until it ended in April. May 2023 he went to Benue and once again married another lady who he just met( note in all of this his fornication his excuse is always "The Spirit of God spoke to him that this is his wife" like WTF!!!).
Now my brother was supposed to further his study 2021 but my dad and him and a silly plan to send him to the UK to play football, without any proper training. This went on for almost a year before he was hurriedly enrolled in a private university but we found out he had used the money meant for his school fees (over 400k) partying with friends and impressing his girlfriend. Now my sisters and I found out and reported it to my dad. This guy denied it and now turned the blame on me that I have been taking him round hotels to carry babes and party. Despite the fact I gave this boy a chance during the investigation to come clean that we are aware that he possibly flunked school and want honesty from him but he denied it. Now my dad is defending this boy, he's 19 o and supposed to be heading to 300L, and attacking me. My brother knows about my habits and is using this as his alibi putting the blame on me that I got him involved with my habits and even though I have cautioned him several times, attempted to guard him in academics because I struggled heavily in my 100L due to family issues( I wasn't even involved in marijuana or alcohol by then) he still went out with friends who ate his school fees with him and not theirs. Now Baba is blaming me for spending the boy's fees when my work schedule would not even allow me teach him bad habits. I found out he does drugs and even deals on harder substances that I dread from. My Dad is not holding him accountable for his actions rather as he always does blames every misfortune that comes on me or my mom. Now we had a big fight on the phone and I am ready to cut the two of them off for good. Between 2015-2020, before they both came into my life I was doing very well without their drama and distractions. At one time in 2021 my Dad even dumped this boy on me while he spends money bringing his woman from Kenya going round the country parading her as his wife and living in luxury hotels and all kind of silly antics, she's a Pastor ,and refused to support back then while I look after this boy. That period was when my investments was going down and I was even admitted in the hospital after having a heart condition that scared me and the doctors. To cover my medical bills, keep ,myself afloat and take care of my brother in my custody that period I had to sell my car which further worsened my financial condition.
THIS MAN HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT CHAOS, A FRAUD, A STAIN ON WHAT CHRISTIANITY IS AND WORSE OF IT ALL WILL DESTROY HIS FAMILY IF GIVEN THE CHANCE. 2020 after reconciliation I had a big fight with my younger sister because of this man and not until last year I settled with my sister and this man was not even happy with the peace I made. He wants to use me to attack my Mom and my sisters and only when he sees you are against them would he embrace you. I want to cut him off completely as between 2015-2020 I witnessed personal, financial and spiritual growth as opposed to having him in my life and his attempt to control me into self destruction. The depressions I had got worse with him and I had to fall into weed and booze to escape the madness. However I am recovering and pulling myself together and do not intend to bring him back to my life.
• I paid commission to exchange my US dollars to Swedish krone! Foreign currency is actually not craved for here like we do in Africa
• Everyone is helpful, nice & kind. Can give up their food for you. Their social welfare system is the best in the world.
• It's a totally cashless economy here. Yes, you actually dont need a paper money. Everything is digitalized including buying anything!
• Everyone works. The bills are crazy so any krones is needed. The Swedes are naturally, big, brawny, smart and strong. So working hard is never a problem.
* Work resumes by 10 am here due to weather changes. I mean formal jobs, not non skilled jobs.
• During summer, the sun doesn't go down. Meaning, there's no night. You can get sick due to body adopting these time changes. My first night i Stockholm, i slept around 1am without knowing its that late.
• Its really stable here. Count your self lucky like me if you have access to Sweden, it takes a lot to get their papers! Their paper can straighten out some shits in your life. I am a testimony.
• Stockholm is an idea City to raise up a child as everything is cool, lovely and good! World class primary & secondary schooling FREE.
• Crime rate is really low. Yahoo, fraud or other social vices can not work here. You will be caught easily as there are traits to everything you do
• Swedes are normally thieves, they are the original Vikings or sea faring thieves of past, so to curb that natural trait to steal, the government has done a lot to ensure everything can be tranced, this gave rise to a cashless, contactless economy that has proved to very efficient! In order words, it has made the Swedes to be law abiding because off what use is it to steal when you know you will be caught? Well, their prison is better than most average homes in Africa!
• Transportation is relatively fixed. For 3.9$ (39SEK) you can get a ride on the bullet train to anywhere in Stockholm for 75minutes. No other fee applies.
• Beside Rent, food, anyone can survive in Stockholm without much of a deal! With a Salary of $3000 per month, you'd live like a king! Especially if you work remotely!
• You don't really need public transport/a car to move around city, except you are hopping from one island to another. A scooter or bicycle would be more helpful!
• Swedes are Innovative, they have customized bicycles to various roles in the house, or work.
• I prefer living in Stockholm than anywhere in USA or Canada.
• The gap between rich and poor is low compared to France or UK. Here the richest man might be that fellow riding an electric scooter, or drinking low beer with you in the pub.
• Most houses in Stockholm do not have physical keys... They use codes type into the door to open. So if you have no business there, you gat no reason
• Almost everyone drives a bicycle, or scooter to move from one place to another.
• Sweden is really expensive to live in, but has one of the highest quality of life you can imagine.
• Everyone drink tap water. It's squeaky clean & safe. pH value is almost 7.0 on the dot!
• I met several Nigerians, most of them left Italy to reside here. They're always preferred before other African nationalities.
• Nigerians here, as in Kigali keep the law.
Can you please give me the steps to get a student visa or work visa? Much obliged
slawomir: Damnnn niggar My area na Benin city That food go reach 1300 naira to 1500 naira
That fish alone na 700+ then rice na 400 naira.. beans na 200 naira
We don tire for Benin city matter
The only thing way cheap here na accommodation But price of food na war....the worse part is that there is no one single company or industry to work in Benin city and the funny thing is that price of things dey increase anyhow here for Benin city
accomodation cheap for Benin? Na bypass you dey stay? Benin when expensive stupid
I preferred to use the main route at least I'll be seeing human beings.
We left around 6pm, entered a taxi, the taxi man drove us to a junction and dropped.
We started looking for another taxi to enter Kano.... there was none!
We managed to see a taxi going to Kano but it was just a single seat remaining and it was getting late
My boys did something that surprised me, they volunteered to enter the booth of the taxi
No naa you can't I said, there's two goats at the back of the booth already.
They insisted cos it was getting late.
My boys sat in the booth half opened with the goats.... chaiii
We finally arrived Kano some minutes to 12 midnight
The next day I went to the hospital to get treated for the wound on my bum... Yeah it's that bad
Hours on bike Close to 5 hours on bike no be moimmoin
Ok that's the end of one of my experiences
Till I gist una next time
I remain ur Agro Jagagban Agro Queen 👑 Mother
I soooo much love your strength and determinations. Also I'm wanting to go into agro in the north, I would love to reach out to you for some advice. Thank you
HanisahZuwy: This is a laptop bag with USB port. I would like to import it, but I don't know if it'll sell here in Nigeria. What do you think? Do you think I should import it or not? What would you rather I import instead? What would you advise me to import instead? I mean a fast moving product/products. I need your opinions/suggestions please. Thanks.
I also plan adding backpack. So that it won't be only laptop bag. What do you all think?
I will market for you in Edo/Delta State and Port Harcourt if you're serious. I work with the state gov in edo state and it will be easy to market this so if you are serious about it mail me on blossompraise9@gmail.com
klimkid: My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years now and it's about time we start planning on getting married.
One thing I no for sure is that she loves me and I do love her too. Recently, she told me that her mom went to some churches and they told her it won't work, about 3 pastors. But my girlfriend told her friend to tell her pastor to pray about it.
So he prayed about it and he gave us feedback after 3 days and he said the marriage will work, he said I will give my girlfriend peace, take care of her and make her happy.
There's a woman that prays for me here in Lagos, she said there is nothing wrong with both of us. I also called my Rev. Father and he said that nobody has the right to say the person is for this person or the marriage won't work.
He said marriage is a decision both of us will take and pray about it.
He said hence we love ourselves so much, should leave it for God and continue with our relationship.
Guys, have you experienced this before? What do you think? I am confused.
Is it so difficult to pray on your own? Go on a fast 6-6 for a week and you'll have clarity!
FalseProphet1: 1. *Boy-friend* This is that spirit that will keep scaring away serious and well meaning suitors because they'll be thinking that the boyfriend that always hangs around you actually wanted to marry you. To cast out this spirit, you don't need to pray about it. Just quit the relationship.
2 *Engagement ring* This is that spirit that makes you keep raising your finger to show the world that one young man that is still serving the master engaged you and when the serious suitors see the ring, they'll pass over you because something in them tells them you have been engaged. To cast out this spirit, you don't need prayers, just remove that key holder in your finger.
3. *Hard to get* This is that spirit that tells you not to accept a marriage proposal in a hurry so that the brother will not think you were too cheap or desperate. It tells you to tell him to give you six months to pray, don't always pick his calls, behave as if you are not interested even though you are dying on the inside and truly love the brother. This spirit is truly from your village people, the day it will release you is that day the brother would have agreed to marry another and you'll be the one to start him and his number will say.... Thank you for using MTN. To cast out this spirit, just be real. If you love the brother and you perceive he is God's will for you, just accept the proposal and move on with your marriage!
4. *Proud spirit* That spirit that tells you to always run home after service so that no brother will talk to you, maybe he'll meet you in the dream. Before the brother would prepare what to say, you have gone home. That spirit that tells you that every brother that greets you has an evil intention, so don't answer them. That spirit that doesn't allow you to greet brothers except those that ride cheap and exotic cars. That spirit that tells you to be walking fast every time as if something is pursuing you from the back. Well, I don't know how you can cast out this spirit o, but I think humility and being moderate might help.
5. *Denominational/tribal spirit* I am a Catholic and must marry a Catholic. Your villagers are really at work. I'm a Deeper Lifer and must marry one whose life is also Deep. I am a Chosen and must marry from Chosen because others were rejected. I am an Anglican and must marry an Anglican even if God is leading me to do otherwise. I am from Hausa tribe and must marry from my tribe. I'm from Imo state and must not marry from Abia. This spirit has kept many bound, they entered menopause and are about to retire to village. To cast out this spirit of delay, understand that every believer is from one tribe called Christ. If God is leading you to another denomination, kindly obey Him, but let it be God.
Finally…
6. *Dirtiness* That spirit that tells you not to dress well because you are going to heaven. It tells you to use tarpaulin to sew your dress, wear green skirt, yellow blouse and lemon head tie. When brothers see you, their nightmare will increase and they will go for personal deliverance. You are a lady but dresses like a man; you don't brush your tongue, when you talk the heaven closes and the earth trembles.
This spirit can only be cast out by understanding that cleanliness is next to godliness. Dress well, don't under dress and don't over dress. Dress modestly, smell good because it's not sin. Smell like a living being and not a dead being. Jesus appreciated the woman that broke the oil that smells good and truly He enjoyed the fragrance. So which Jesus did you actually accept that abhors such? God bless us all.
Copied.
That boyfriend matter serious o. I've walked away from previous relationships because the babe had a long time boyfriend who refuses to be serious with her meanwhile the guy dey do fine boy around town. Women leave that unserious bastards that's blinding you with petty gifts and get someone that actually wants a future and see you in it
I dey nairaland dey tell una so. If you think your partner is lying and has inaccurate stories omo bail o. Sad thing the guy seeing was doing rubbish with na small pikin
Family / Re: My Father Is Destroying My Brother And My Family!!! by millstone(m): 5:47pm On Aug 29, 2023 
...why u dey chuvk ur head for ur pops business & him family despite him showing no sign of changing his ways dat destroyed ur family & divorced ur mom.