₦airaland Forum

LordReed:
Yeah. There has to be a balance. I don't condone spoiling a child, once I start observing spoilt behaviour in my children I make sure I warn them and steer them away from such behaviour. And sometimes that steering involves a lil spanking.

LordReed:
What I see is most people beat out of frustration not correction or love.

Rubyjade:
I am a lady

Gerrard59:
Like I have preached for donkey months:





Don't forget:

Rubyjade:
Most Nigerian girls have turned social media apps designed for connecting with new people and staying in touch friends, family and acquaintances to a hub for digital prostitution.

When Zuckerberg designed Facebook or when Kevin Systrom and Mike Krieger built Instagram from a co-working space in San Francisco, when Sean Rad invented Tinder or when the trio of Evan Spiegel, Bobby Murphy, and Reggie Brown created Snapchat, they probably didn’t envisage that their apps would become platforms for prostitutes to advertise their goods and services in Nigeria.

People who return to Nigeria for holidays are often shocked when they discover that they can’t get dates or meet decent people to start friendships with on Nigerian Tinder. A huge percentage of the girls you’d see there are for “strictly hookups or massage with happy ending” as some boldly indicate on their bio’s. It’s really embarrassing!

According to them, when you meet a girl/guy on Tinder overseas, it’s never for sex, it can lead to sex but you’re very sure you matched with a person with a job/profession who genuinely wants to meet new people, make new friends or go out on dates. There are different apps/websites strictly for meeting with prostitutes.

According to research by Britannica, sex has always been one of the few pleasures of the poor and oppressed. Nigeria is the poverty capital of the world. Do the math! While sex is part of normal human behavior, prostitution on the other hand is frowned on morally and legally in Nigeria and has now evolved from the road side and brothels to social media apps.
An unofficial survey revealed that the Transportation Network Industry in Lagos and Abuja (Uber and Taxify) generates 80% of it revenue from 8pm to 6am (with numerous instances where these females offer sex acts to drivers as payment for their ride fares #sexforrides).

It is left up to you to determine whether you support their lifestyle and professional choices or not. What should be a cause for concern is that the money these girls make from digital prostitution is tax-free. Our government is broke! Looking for loans here and there while we have millions of young females raking in an average of 200,000 Naira on a monthly basis tax free (using Lagos State and Abuja as our reference points) with an average income of 20,000 Naira per night.

Romanoff:
You need to be sane for your kids and for that marriage if you want it to work.

The thing with men like your husband is, if they haven't reached rock bottom, they'll never change.

You can either separate from him so you can have a clear head to better your life and that of your kids while he gets his life together.

Dearlove2me:
The truth is right now, I feel like going somewhere for a while. I feel like I need rest. Somewhere I can forget about all my problems and breathe a fresh air.
My husband has not been honest with me since the beginning of this marriage and I doubt if this is an attitude of a man that loves

He has always been in debt even before I married him. and he wouldn't let me know what he do with the money he keeps borrowing from people. Even my friends I introduced to him, he is owning them and can't pay back.

The bad side is, he borrows and stop picking their calls not respond nicely to them.
He behalves badly to them.
I'm suspecting he's into some kind of addiction that demands money. Maybe gambling but he wouldn't tell me.
He's constantly on his phone.

He is owning loan app everywhere. To the extent that the app had to send hurrible messages to his contact's lists including his bosses, office colleagues and my relatives.
It's so embarrassing and tiring.
He has apologized several times that I should give him time to work on himself to stop an addiction, but he refused to explain what it is. Claiming that I might leave him if I know.
But he has not changed abit.
We are always hungry in this house. No baby food for my 6months old baby, no pampers and everything is total struggle. I quit my job last year but I'll soon start job search once my baby grow a little.
In this house, If I don't look for food, then, we starve, I don't look for means of getting pampers, food, wears,then my baby will suffer, because his daddy is not capable of providing anything for us. It's so annoying.

I have dreams before I married him, but right now, I feel lost. There's no romance, no love, no affection in this marriage anymore, as I wouldn't even let him touch me because of the stress, suffer he constantly brings on us.

Money I raised to start up a business, (340k) I ended up using it to pay for his debt last two months because the people were always coming to embarrass us in the house and neighbors were coming to pleade on our behalf. I had to clear up the loan, yet he couldn't explain what he did with the money.
With that start up capital, I would have been growing by now, but here I am. Still at the zero point.

I'm really tired
I'm so confused here.
What should I do?
What would you advise?

HonNL:
SOURCE [/u]

atheistandproud:
I avoided replying you because you plucked something nonexistent out of thin air and presented it as though it was what I said (strawman). A very common argumentative tactic used on Nairaland.

No where did I state that a family is a marriage. Even a child in elementary school could easily make that simple distinction.

A family is a unit made up of two parents and kids. All academic and medical studies on the subject shows that children do best in a two parent home.

Whatever agreement that both parents have as regards their union is up to them. Whether it's a legal arrangement or an informal partnership. That is up to them.

When that union is split and one parent is left raising the kids, children tend to perform and turn out worse than those in 2 parent homes. Hence the use of the term "divorce".

Divorce is only one of the several reasons stated in the entire article. The others which includes:

1. Glorification of money
2. Setting of unattainable standards by socalled celebrity relationship coaches.
3. Such standards gladly enforced by women

All of which militate against the formation of new families.

4. Breaking down of preexisting families
5. Poor parenting of kids
6. Poor role models for kids

Children growing up under such conditions do very poorly and make up the nucleus of the next generation of the society.

Thus as a result society collapses.

Kobojunkie:
Wait a second.... Why does it seem as though the OP assumes family is defined by marriage, and divorce an enemy?

ChineduObinna:
So we started off a pig farm in Ịdị Ose, after Ọjọọ in Ibadan some time in August., Bought some crossbreed growers for fattening and Camborough pure breeds (3 gilts) from a Dutch source, with a pure Camborough boar � from another source. The journey has been interesting �

Niece:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CoVbwZLoGRe/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

JASONjnr:
So the first man who loved her genuinely, left her after two kids...Same with the second one left her with 7kids....


She's pushing our gullible girls to go into baby mama business with the hope that a man will settle down with them eventually in the future..


Same way Linda Ikeji lied to the gullible girls....


It's not always about the preacher...It's always about the person who receives the message.

Infact, I really wish Nigerians would see this movie.. "The message and the messenger". It's a black American movie. The movies describe our typical Nigerian girls who takes every words of the pastors to be true without understanding the Bible.

buygala:
So Linda & Co made a movie on this incident without seeking the permission of the traumatised parents of the guys burnt to death?



How about somebody beat and burn to death that Linda's only son, Jason or what's his name and then I go make a movie about it without considering her trauma or/and seeking her permission?


Nigerians will always tag Buhari as evil and the personalization of everything that's wrong with this country. But the vast majority of Nigerians are desperately evil.. For them, money comes 1st, and any other thing or person can go to hell


So of all the things Linda & Co had to try to cash out from, it is that horrible incident that the family of those guys are trying as much as possible to forget?..After cashing out from immortalizing the terror these parents are trying to hard to bury, so Linda can comfortably go to sleep while these people are forever reminded by her movie of a a terror best forgotten?

How can Linda, being a mother herself, albeit an unfortunate and useless one, be so callous?

priceactionx:
Oga Paul, she is right. Please define a marriage. If you can genuinely define it, then you will be matured to handle what may come your way. Yours is to protect her especially a young marriage. She does not have a problem with your brother until your brother insist he would be sending her on an errand. Who does that? As for say na him marry her or assistant husband? You too dey support nonsense. He is a brother not your mum for Christ sake.
when you married, and you want peace, you first of all separate family members coming to stay from those that just coming once in a while.
No matter what your brother might have done for you, he can always come like a visitor and your marriage will have peace. If you want him to always be around you, let him get his apartment close to you and get an house help to do the running up and down, and you can always visit each other.
once she is married to you, she won't allow someone sending her up and down for no reasons. She is not a house help but your own help mate talk less of being an errand girl for another person that is not feeding her.
Baba.. Reason am na.
if you can't abide by simple marriage code that can bring early peace, no need to marry at all. It's that simple.

Mizfabulous18:
well your decision is good but it all depends I live in Germany nd I will tell u for a fact that u need to speak basic German atleast A1 nd one thing with countries is once u enter one it a bit confusing going to another because u will want to get their passport na so if u leave the country to another country nd still come bk ur years of residence will start counting from top again so deciding on which one at first is better than saying if I don’t like it I will just migrate it nt so flexible d way ur saying it all the best though

hammed71:
Brexit is dealing with UK now

Mizfabulous18:
Europe is good but depending on the country u go to ur life wil be dependent on language So if ur good in learning language then Europe is good also career growth in Canada nd USA is faster than Europe but u cn become a citizen in Europe faster than USA

Aklee4994:
Weed will indulge you from so weirdness as a guy sometimes

Aklee4994:
off the mic � bruh � you’re a YOGA MAN

pleasureosondu:
Agree it wasn't the kid's fault but do we should now continue to trend and accept divorce? If parents divorce with flimsy excuses, what guarantee do you have that their innocent ( now adults) won't do same to their partner? And it's always the ladies that are quick to file for divorce. Just check Nairaland's front-page