i must agree NAIRALAND is the bomb is one of the best thing that has happened to alot of nigerians in a while, BUT OGA dictator if u dont need advice from anybody as u claim then dont ask for any name or profile to be deleted u should source for it yourself, u must think the SUN rises and sets on nairaland abi do whatever u want to do abeg and stop blowing ur trumpet am vexed

SCENE 6
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divoce and asked,"what are the grounds 4 ur divoce?" She replied,"about 4 acres and a nice home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No", he said,"i mean what is the foundation of this case?" She said, "it is made of concrete, brick and mortar" "I mean," what are ur relations like?" " I have an aunt and uncle living here in town,"
He said,"do you have a real grudge?" "No, "she replied," we have a 2-car car-port"
"Please", he replied again,"is there any infidelity in ur marriage?"
"Yes both my son and daughter has stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music"
"Ma, does ur husband ever beat you up?" "Yes, about twice a week he gets up earlier than i do"
In frustration the judge asked,"Lady, why do u want a divoce?" "Oh,"i don't want a divoce, she replied"my husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.
The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the Feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that asshole should be the Boss,
so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be a Boss any asshole will do.

u guys might hate this but i think its the truth

3 guys were walking on a beach one day and encountered a genie. The genie said he was going to grant each person one wish. The first guy said said he wanted 2b the richest man in the world. He got his wish, and he overthrew Bill Gates. The second guy said he wanted to be the most powerful man in the world. He got his wish and became just that. The third guy said he wanted to be the most intelligent man in the world. The genie made him a woman.




where is clem i miss her ooooooo ituen freezy ninjabyte sauce kid ur mouth eh and u tope or teadre becareful new year new brain ooo

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away. The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce." "I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce, it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infinity or Lexus in the garage, and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is
prettier," she replies.

pop up ke no be mr seun, he had not siezed this site i wouldnt have gone anywhere now? i miss u guys sha

Migy
no be only rainy season anyways i have survived one and i hope it will be the last

how im go resign he is the sole admin so he can freeze this site anytime he wants! d guy sef hmmmmmmm
oga seun if u like delete me from NL i lived without it for days so i can live without NL
PLS OOOO MY PALS SEND UR E MAILS BEFORE SEUN GOES CRAZY

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

my bobo is far away now

clem pregnant ke unless dem fit transfer that thing via internet or DHL

thanks alot thisreally kind of u

hi this is really cool i was actually surfing to see if i could get answers to interview qtns interwiews could be sooo creepy the last interview i had  well i ve not really had much but my mistake was that when i was asked if i had a question i said no there are loads of qtns that need professional anwers phew men i will be facing another interview with a a bank in a week am so nervous

hi this is really cool i was actually surfing to see if i could get answers to interview qtns interwiews could be sooo creepy the last interview i had well i ve not really had much but my mistake was that when i was asked if i had a question i said no there are loads of qtns that need professional anwers phew men i will be facing another interview with a a bank in a week am so nervous

hmmmmmmmm

@ da man
u know what at this point i really dont know i hope am safe but i will be a loving one

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman
He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P, M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

migy hiya


The doctor said, "Bill, the good news is I can

Cure your headaches. The bad News is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Bill was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a Headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need, a new Suit.! " He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see, Size 44 long." Bill laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Bill tried the suit on and It fit perfectly. As Bill admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new Shirt?" Bill thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Bill and Said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 Neck." Bill was surprised, That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years." Bill tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Bill walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, How about some new underwear?" Bill thought for a moment and said, "Sure." The salesman said, "Let's see, Size 36." Bill laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years Old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a Size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against The base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache." New suit - $400 New shirt - $36 New underwear - $6 Second Opinion - PRICELESS

thanks ya all
guys where is ituen? clem i hope he dint get tangled in ur bra

I THIK WE NEED A JOKE TO COOL THE TEMPER AND ATLEAST STOP BLOOD SPILLAGE


Bukary is a servant boy who every day drinks the wine of his Boss puts water in the bottle to replace what he drank. But the Boss having suspicions as for the quality of the wine, decides to buy pastis (a French wine that changes colour if you add water). Bukary as usual, takes a mouthful and adds water to replace what he drank.

However, soon after he added water the pastis became milky. When the Boss came back and noticed it, he was sure he had managed to nail Bukary as the thief!!! At that same moment Bukary realized he was in trouble and decided to go into the kitchen.

The Boss told his wife that "Cherish, you will see, he will be obliged to acknowledge ". He shouted: "Bukary!". Bukary answered: "Yes, Boss". "Who drank my pastis?". No answer. The Boss reiterated his question: still no answer. Then the Boss went to find Bukary in the kitchen and
says to him: "You insane or what? Why when I call you, you say "yes boss" but when I ask you a question you don't answer me? "Bukary retorted that "It is that boss, when you are in the kitchen there, you don't understand anything at all, except the name"

Then to prove that Bukary lies, the Boss says to him: "You stay beside Madam, me I go in the kitchen, and you ask me a question ". Bukary accepted. The Boss went in the kitchen and Bukary shouted: "Boss". He answered: "Yes, Bukary". Bukary continued: "Who goes at the maid bedroom when the Madam is not there?" No answer. Bukary shouted again: "Boss, I say who made the maid pregnant?" No answer. Third time; "Boss, I say who made the maid pregnant?" The Boss returns from the kitchen running and says "Bukary: It is true, you are right, when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, only the name ".

y is Tope feeling like D'angelo and whjats with mr and mrs is that ur title?

Clem i think i saw ur bra at the museum ;to rpresent the African top class Atire

phew am not feeling u guys here at all


mr Tope is here again

:d

phenomenon am cool tx

yeeeeeeeeeeeeee someone help me ooooo Tope is blowing gramar

@fyneyes
thanks alot

freeezy
i beg leave the guy he has refused to go back to elementry school

he cant he is in the zoo they dont get stuff like that aside internet

u know how the saying goes
empty barrels make the lousiest noise
Teadre na ur type de use girl for one month? which one be sharon again Tope Sharon

hehehehehehehehehehehehe

y all peeps on Tope;s side i pity u guys cos that guy is a run down

The pope
so u think Tope is a sis? well we all thot so one time he acts like a retarded one though

Clem where u at?

talking about insanity Tope u re mental

hehehhehheheheh
very funny

but u know post all ur post on one page sha its interesting that way

lol
whao do u know wat i did i placed my hands on my b**bs to check hehehehhehehehehe my bobo is a leftie heheheheheheheh

this new kid on the block is rocking

lol u re sooo cool

@ crownvilla
am just saying UBA dont seem big to me anymore in terms of security