₦airaland Forum

Go to the social welfare office of your state of residence which I believe is where the children are also resident and lodge your complaint.

They will get in touch with your ex-wife and she may be forced to travel down for some days using official channels, to give you custody of the children for the months she iwill be away.

When you both got divorced, was the terms of sharing of custody, visitations and co-parenting not spelt out to both of you?

In all your anger, DO NOT STOP sending money for your daughters' upkeep while social welfare sorts the issues out, they shouldn't be punished for what they are not responsible for.

fidelmarshal199:
Bayo Onanuga is just too crude to a spokesman. The only thing he does is attacking every one that speaks against the government whereas his responsibility is to be defensive and be objective while at it

Tinubu loves Onanuga's crudeness, reason he was given the job.

Adoomadonmi:
Too bad I won't be able to watch it. My wife won't allow me to go out

Don't you have television at home or other device to watch from?

No.

Nna men! see the keys of the luxury cars they betted with!

Yimu.

AWomanScorned:
I'll do that. Take up the case I mean. Thanks

You will be your daughter's lifelong hero knowing you fought for her, don't allow yourself to be bullied by your husband and his relatives, being away from that family is best for the overall mental wellbeing of yourself and your daughter.

Get plain sheets of paper (like the ones used for photocopying) and crayons, give them to your daughter to be regularly drawing whatever comes to her mind, leave her to do it alone. Keep filing those drawings in a file, it will be useful in the future.

Gbadugbakun:
The incident happened in Nigeria which you and I know is lawless as compared to the UK.

The families tried to settle the matter by telling her to forget about it. Even her own husband told her to forget about it. She didn't. Now that she has been throw out of the house, has she gotten the justice she wanted?

What I expected her to do when the incident occurred was to take her daughter to the hospital first for medical examination. They would run her series of tests, then she would discuss the matter with her husband, her husband would go and face his own people.

This is Nigeria, and we know how things are done in Nigeria. No parent would admit that their 16 year old daughter is a lesbian. They'll try to defend her.

Nigeria has remand homes for juvenile delinquents for the likes of that teenage child molester.

Let the parents of the child molester try to defend their daughter but the law sees her liable for her action against that child.

Now that she has been thrown out of the house, she should get her bearings, stabilize and get justice for her daughter. Once statutory institutions in her state of residence and a grounded NGO gets involved in the case, her husband and his family will be ones begging her.

Even if the child wasn't taken to the hospital immediately after the incident, it is still not too late.......I can still easily nail that teenager within 2 hours of one to one session with that child she molested with the details of the molestation. I have done it severally.

That teenager needs rehabilitation and be taken away from her family as their continued enablement would eventually land her where "family meetings" will not rescue her. Go to some Nigerian prisons, you will find female prisoners who treaded her path when they were 16 and family were covering them up.

Congratulations.

Gbadugbakun:
The offender is also a minor. What is she going to do, jail a 16 year old girl?

If the offender was up to 20 she could have gone to the police. But they're both minors. A family meeting was calling and everyone agrees to let it go. She still de carry the matter for head.

Even here in the UK, 15 year olds are jailed after conviction of criminal offences and they don't call their custodial facility, prison but Young Offender Institution. Those who complete their imprisonment before they clock 20, are discharged to go home while those who have more years to complete are transferred to regular adult prisons.

Gbadugbakun:
You were Warned to let it slide since there wasn't any evidence of bruise or bleeding on her vagina meaning her hymen is still intact. Yet you kept on fighting and fighting now your husband and his people have turned against you and you're here begging us for assistance. What do you want us to do?

It is in Nigeria that it is okay to let a child molestation slide and perpetrator go scot free.

Sexual molestation is not only evidenced by the physical.

OP, since you are out of that family physically, go ahead and take he child molestation case up with the relevant agency or ministry in the state where the molestation happened as that teenager who sexually molested your daughter needs to be picked up and taken out of circulation for some years and placed in a remand home for juvenile delinquents in order to protect other children from sexual molestation.

omooba969:
No one is disputing the fact that we're of different personalities and the external greatly influences our attitude/character.

However, my question is basic and easy to understand.

However, my answer is basic and easy to understand.

omooba969:
🙂 Well, I want to believe you know the answer to my question but you have chosen to stick to your guns.

That is the same answer, I have written/spoken in answer to related questions right through my undergraduate psychology days to my postgraduate psychology studies.......personality traits and social settings are strong influencers.

omooba969:
I didn't mention it's universal and this discourse is actually within the Nigerian context you know. At the same time, my submission is a possibility with reference to the westerners, that is, it's more likely for a man to keep his wife and side chick than for a woman to do so.

Do you agree that a MAN is more territorial than a woman?

Men and women have areas in life, each is more territorial than the other and influenced by personality type and social settings.

omooba969:
@bolded- I know that already. What most people fail to realise is that the MAN is different from the WOMAN. It's well known that a family man could cheat and still keep his wife/home (this is not to say it's right), but it's quite different for a woman as she may struggle to pull this off over time. She's more likely to lose interest in her husband and go with whom she's cheating with. Most times the man would want to keep his wife and side chick.

Do you still wonder why the man is more territorial in nature?

The bolded is not universal. Can you as an African man living in the West and married to a Caucasian, after cheating have the same chance of keeping your Caucasian wife and home as you would with a Nigerian wife living in Nigeria?

A man or woman who cheats on their spouse has diminished feelings for the spouse.

Many men who are in social settings that affords them to keep wife and side chicks at the same time, keeps the wife to project stability and "family man" image and side chicks for his sexual fantasies.

omooba969:
Osheeey! 🙌
Special adviser on Cheating matters.

A wife cheated, and you're advising the poor man 'to fight for his marriage'...looollll 🤣

Darling, you have no idea what a MAN is?

The advice you quoted is what many women whose husbands are cheating, are been told..... 'fight for your marriage".

A MAN is first and foremost HUMAN, no mystery to it.

APC Economics 101

You and your wife should communicate to your children in Yoruba and Idoma, they will easily pick English and Igbo outside the home.

"Just, yesterday, someone asked me a question that he heard I built a psychiatric hospital and school at Nawfia and I said yes. Let me tell you, one of the things we need to fix quickly in this country is the issue of psychiatric hospitals. People don’t seem to be aware that Nigeria has a huge mental health crisis"...... Nigeria has very low numbers of mental health professionals from Psychiatrists who are less than 300 for a Country with over 200 million residents (UK has a population of about 68 million people and about 13,500 psychiatrists and are still complaining about the shortage of psychiatrists!). mental health nurses are migrating in droves likewise competent psychologists!

In all you do , manage your mental health well because if you ever "cross over" , you may find yourself dumped in a psychiatric facility with little or no professional care.

Loaning a man what you stole from him ....see boldness.

Low incentives in the teaching profession. I love teaching but can't imagine myself teaching in a Nigerian public school.

cococandy:
Unfortunately your husband is not being sincere

He is marrying a Nigerian wife using the son between them as a smokescreen.

Malroux:
Are you asking me? Who owns the father's compound and his first choice investments? Who dictates the tempo when the father is no more? Unless there's a written will from the father before his demise.

My family is igbo, my father shared all his urban properties equally amongst all his children, males and females as he didn't apply "you are the first son, you are female", even my elder sister who is a Reverend Sister got her equal share despite not needing it because of her religious vocation but my parents no send, she is their daughter.

My father's compound in the village is very big, every son dey build im own house inside that compound as my father wants it done, future generations can expand outside the compound.

So there is nothing like first choice investments to a particular child because of gender and order of birth in my own family.

Masters Degree in Strategic and Digital Marketing, nice course......na Indians dey plenty as course mates!

ManOfSon:
You're pretty much behaving like your father - like father like daughter. What do you stand to gain bringing your family's private issues to a worldwide forum? What exactly?

Did she mention her name or her father's?

MrFourSHIRTS:
What part of Nigeria is he from

Look for a Nigerian map, search through it.

"The reason for this failure lies in Nigeria’s political culture that fosters a rentier economy".......That culture is not ending soon as there is a very long queue of those who wants to benefit from that culture.

Tracey000000900:
You wouldn't blame me because at first I was capable and everything was going fine...i use to work at an oil firm but at the long run I realized I needed to get more education...that was why I had to talk with my mum who is a teacher and she has been helping me take good care of my kids both male...my father agreed and I relocated to where I'm schooling at the moment..

You needed more education, why didn't you go for a part time OND program while still working? By the way, what is the career prospect of one with OND in Mass communication in today's Nigeria?

yarimo:
Jubilations in Anambra state after obi was caught trying to run away from Nigeria after EFCC arrested OBIANO

You are just one of the reason why phones are not allowed in psychiatric wards, the mental health nurse on shift in your ward needs to be queried about your access to a phone because the antipsychotics you are being administered is really messing up your head.

Beremx:
lol you are right

Speech and language development of babies was one of my best topics back then in school, got to appreciate how intelligent and observant babies are.

Beremx:
No one. It's just natural. But babies learn to call "dada" first before "mummy"

Because da-da-da is their lowest hanging fruit when it comes to language development.