₦airaland Forum

SweetCunt97:
Be wise, talk or relate with wisdom. She's your mom does not make her immune to mistakes. Remember say na you wan marry, and such action will make d man think twice and you'll continue washing plates and sweeping d house for ur mom. Better get sense and call him... Simply tell him it's a cultural something.

rem0ve cultural s0mething in this instance. It den0tes s0mething else and presents a bad representati0n at this point.

SweetCunt97:
But you know it ain't cool to go see an intending in law empty handed nwokem. The lady no wise though

n0t the first time he was visiting. See ehn, you people should be c0nsiderate. Even if it's the 1st visit, n0thing should be expected. Every man has a life to live.

Mariangeles:
OK. Fair then.

Where I come from, we're culturally raised to go bearing gifts whenever we visited places like your in-laws or your maternal home.

I remember my grandfather giving us fresh palm wine to give to his in-laws on his behalf(my mother's family).
It is an act of honour, and not of compulsion.

if it is n0t of c0mpulsi0n, why the insistence? You are being ir0nic.

ceeceeuwa:
Don't bother arguing with them. Most of them are still teenagers with opera mini free mb.
At least your mom played her part by hosting your boyfriend. Also, it's possible the guy is not well schooled on how to treat would be inlaws, you owe it to him to educate him in a subtle manner. Your approach to the matter must have put him off.

listen, we humans are the ones putting unnecessary pressure and expectati0ns on ourselves and others. S0me0ne in g0od spirit, came to see you, to build a rapport. Which one is the m0re emphasis on gift? Or any0ne playing their part by giving drink. I d0n't think the guy came all the way for a drink or all the way to hand her a gift, else he would have d0ne that without a visit. Yes, he could have visited with s0mething in hand, but the issue here is that the in law t0ok fault with the man n0t bringing gift like he was under c0mpulsi0n.

TransAtlanticEx:

Speak for your clan,we don't do that where I come from and I'm also igbo.
We are not beggars and we like to hold our heads up high,
Giving should only come from the givers own volition and not some silly expectation,
Atleast where I come from.

God bless you. For a minute there i thought he was speaking for the Igbos. I haven't had much run in with Igbos that much. I mean, why so much emphasis on the gift for godsake. People have alot on their head, and s0me0ne c0mes to see you, all you can think of is gift? In my family, n0t talking abt tribe, we value presence above anything. There was a time when a relative's fiancee's in laws kept sending gifts, it got to a time where we were like, we can't be receiving gifts if we d0n't get to see the pers0n. We thanked them, and rejected the gifts. We aren't rich, but in alot of ways, we see gifts as s0mewhat insulting if there isn't an occassi0n behind it.

Mariangeles:
I don't know about the others, but in my tribe (Igbo), that's how things are done.
You don't go to your in-laws bare handed.
It is not an act to be proud of.

so the fact s0me0ne came to see you is n0t appreciated? Well, that teaches me s0mething, if am to have igbo in laws, i wouldn't bother visiting. A text or call and cash transfer would do. We all have our own problems.

Mariangeles:
Point out exactly where in my post I implied it was a compulsory act?

but you did imply an expectati0n to give gift? The expectati0n already makes it a c0mpulsi0n.

ceeceeuwa:
Even #250 bread, the Bobo no fit buy!
Their hate for women on this forum won't make them see reasons.

i say this, speaking for myself. I d0n't see it as a hate for w0men. Of course s0me men here are misogynists, but going by virtue, which was m0re important? Respect or Charity? The man showed respect by taking an initiative to go see the Mama without the babe. How many men do that? The fact that s0me0ne c0mes to see you is far m0re than any gift he would bring. Why? He sees you as s0me0ne. In a time where people are self centered, s0me0ne who you d0n't feed or pay, c0ming to see you should be appreciated. N0t to brag, but in my family, we d0n't see much in the gift s0me0ne would bring us on a visit but m0re in the visit. We even advise the pers0n n0t to bother. And it's n0t like we are rich or s0mething.

franugo:
Exactly my take...the man knew his girl wasn't around, yet still decided to come visit anyway. He has done well and should be applauded. Not every man will go see his intended's mother unprompted, God knows I like my space n hate travelling

abi oh. S0me0ne like me n0w, i w0n't bother with visits or unnecessary calls if i am n0t well acquainted. A text and a m0ney transfer would be en0ugh if after the first few visits my instincts tell me what they truly expect of me. I'm n0t one that talks much or do eye service. Blunt and straight to the point. In a way, i blame the man. He should've studied his would be in law.

Trayceey:
I'm not defending my mum. You know these mothers always have a hold on us

then why c0nfr0nt the man? Or hang up on him? I d0n't kn0w if things can be mended, but just be on g0od terms with him. These are the kind of things that discourage men fr0m going into marriages. Expectati0ns fr0m in laws, forgetting every0ne is flawed and has alot in their heads.

ststyreal:
Mbanuuu, aunty Tracey you fail am for here... Since he has come before and with something too, you shouldn't have informed him that your mum is angry about him coming empty handed....
I think he is a nice and free guy who just want to acclamatize with your family.
Go and apologize to him and next time make sure you are around anytime he is coming to see your parents again.

they say 1st impressi0n is all, trust me, n0thing is resolved here with an apology. Mentally, the man has been shown he is going into a battle already. And believe me, there are bound to be grudges fr0m here. The lady d0n set t0ne/directi0n for the relati0nship.

Mariangeles:
How come nobody understands the principle of giving gifts and the honour that comes with it?
It is not about what you give, it is the thought that counts.
If the young man had brought something as simple as fruits and the woman complained, then she would've been wrong.

It has nothing to do with poverty. Only someone with poverty mentality would think expecting gift(s) from someone is out of place, and only someone with inferiority complex would think it is a thing of shame to except gift from a certain someone.

"A man's gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men"

Giving gifts will make way for you in the presence of Kings and great men.

oga, gift is what it is, a choice n0t a c0mpulsi0n. There's no principle. It's just an act of generosity. N0t an act of respect. The man showed respect by c0ming to see the w0man. She should respect that. If gift was the problem, the man would've sent a text via ph0ne and forwarded m0ney to the w0man, which on an0ther side, is disrespectful, cause it'd mean, the man didn't think that much of the w0man in the first place.

mogbolade43693:
Dis is the problem,with many relationships in nigeria..ur mum was expecting him to come with big bread,milo and milk.ur mum acted wrongly.dis is just a boyfriend and not ur husband.

even if na husband, the man isn't a slave. He has freewill to do what he ch0oses. N0t that it's the lady that feeds or pays him, or is it? And am sure, the in law would also c0mplain if the man kept on bringing bread and milo everytime.

Freemasonry:
You see!
He’s not really as stingy as you make it seem.
He probably didn’t think bringing stuff for your mom was a lifelong ritual.
Please lose this mentality and get your man back.

the relati0nship is already tainted. The guy wouldn't be free with the in law or the lady in question again. He would live in awe. Scared to be judged or make a mistake. They've already shown they're c0ntrol freaks and thus, it'd be a mental battle for the man, c0nsidering going to see an in law is akin to going to a law court.

esthel:
Well at first you said you saw it as nothing when she told you, that's what it should have been,you shouldn't have allowed her convince you further it was wrong. You need to apologise to him, whether he accepts or not is now left to him.

apology is just to be 0n g0od terms. As for the relati0nship, it's dead. Cause a hostility has already been c0nceived. People d0n't forget.

Hathor5:
You should have never told your boyfriend what your mother said. BIG mistake!
Even if you mend the relationship with him, he will feel different about her from now on and I can't blame him.
Expecting people to always give you something every time they visit is pure greed or the result of poverty. I don't know which one it is in your case.

n0t poverty i can assure you. Being poor isn't an excuse.

Trayceey:
not really. The first time he came to see her, which has been a while now, he didn't come empty handed

then what's the fuss about? I see no issue here, just adults acting up. And ladies find it insulting when they're said to be melodramatic.

TheHulk616:
You are making it too complex, wonder woman 1984 budget is 200M dollars and it's current box office numbers are 84M dollars so it is a massive flop.

If DC didn't want it to flop they wont have released it now. Is as simple as that

no one kn0ws when the pandemic ends. Besides, there are lots of c0ntract breeches that could be in the balance if it kept being postp0ned. And c0me to think of it, they saw an out in hbo max. All the m0re reas0n i say ww isn't a flop. After all cw shows make bucks even without cinemas. Do the maths bro. Ww isn't a flop. It'd make its m0ney and a profit for wb but also a loss.

TheHulk616:
it is a loss minemrys. Wonder woman budget of 200M was an investment and looking at the box office number, have they gotten their money back? The answer is NO. So it is a massive flop.

That is a fact.

u d0n't kn0w the returns for the hbo max release or the forecast of the stakeholders/investors. Yes, the covid saga has fallen all businesses, but you still can't call it a flop. C0me on, use ur initiative man, who would go to a cinema en masse during a pandemic? Ww would make it's m0ney. And it w0n't be necessarily via ticket sales. If endgame was released in this present time, you think it would make 500? Why hasn't marvel released any of their films yet? Or other blockbusters?

TheHulk616:
so all the companies that made losses this year should not call it a loss.

Wonder woman is a box office flop, that's fact.

ofcos u can't call it a loss. Yea, it is a loss but u then have to weigh it with the times, it isn't a flop. Every business would adjust its profit scale this seas0n hence ww isn't a flop.

TheHulk616:
if no movie made 2x of its budget then they are all box office flops and failure. But wonder woman will be the biggest box office flop for 2020.

n0pe. These are unchartered times so you can't say it's a flop.

TheHulk616:
Wonder woman is still a big office failure.

you d0n't kn0w what box office failure is. No film this year grossed over 500mill. And if u d0n't kn0w, people are still subscribing to watch it at hbo max.

Nickshrapnel:
It was retconned

i d0n't think it was retc0nned. If you n0ticed, Diana didn't exactly go public or appear in the media n0r show her face in public like she did in w0rld war 1. She didn't interfere in w0rld war 2. So let's say her statement were s0mewhat metaphorical.

pu7pl3:
Traveled to Owerri, but I've been in pH since this year

ok na. Stay safe.

Nickshrapnel:
Going to lockdown? Maybe later, cinemas were still open yesterday

naija ehn. Wetin c0ncern naija with covid sef. An avenue to l0ot funds or to garner unwarranted alleviati0n fr0m the internati0nal c0mmunity. Let's stop decieving ourselves with the forged cases. Na we we.

pu7pl3:
Cinema with my sister...

Pedro Pascal was the MVP of the movie for me..I could totally relate with him..the part where he wished to be the stone itself made me spill my coke cos I didn't see it coming

PP na star. The scene with his s0n had me. "d0n't listen to him. I am n0t a l0oser. He is.". The film had alot of em0ti0nal c0nnecti0n than cap marvel. Wait, i thought lagos was going into lockdown? Or you aren't in lag?

pu7pl3:
Saw wonder woman today, the fight scenes were the only underwhelming part of the movie..

It was quite emotional and touching tho, Patty was clearly aiming for that part...I wonder how the part 3 would be

cinema or download? Max lord is m0re a tragic villain likewise minerva. You can relate with them.

W0nder w0man 2 is rotten. Cap marvel is fresh. It was expected though.

PapaNnamdi:
this op dey crase arswear,

Tony umez dey nairaland just so u knw,

you d0n't mean it! Are you him?

Infolenka:
Tonto dikeh is versatile. I've seen her act multiple roles..

same as chiwetalu agu, patience ozokwor and jim iyke. They've all been in multiple roles just like t0nto dikeh has acted as a bitch in alot of films to get her typecast.

Infolenka:
Chinwetel Agu: Wicked Uncle with signature phrases for every role.

wr0ng. I disagree here. Chiwetalu agu is very versatile. He has played in c0medies, drama, played a good guy, villain, mischieve maker etc. D0n't go there. The only thing you got was his use of catchphrase, which is same as Sam l jacks0n saying 'm0dafcker' or arn0ld schwarzenegar saying i'll be back.

philfearon:
Lol... Not yet o.

It can be Savaged. I will send you a mail now.

Sorry, been offline for some time.
I got the email request but not the message. Can you please resend it?