₦airaland Forum

elfmann:
The world is distorted, so is marriage and humans. If u don't want it stay off it or divorce. No better deals.. Others are waiting to be caught. These questions don't help folks frolicking.. It must go on.

Hmmmm...ok o.

Scary though

elfmann:
Women claim they have stopped sleeping around after marriage, u know women start early and men use this time to follick more, kind of making up the lost ground. So as the other guy said yesterday.. U can't demand faithfulness when he never deflowered u. It is a man's world if the man has the fund but real marriage is dead in d real sense.

Lol @making up for lost ground. I have questions for you biko...
1) Is it now a competition on who cheats the most between a man & a woman?
2) Is it every woman that sleeps around before & in marriage?
3) Suppose you are a woman who doesn't sleep around before marriage, how would you feel landing yourself (getting married) with a man who wants to "make up for lost ground" by frolicking up & down?
4) would you be aware a lady sleeps around before marriage ( & probably hasn't stopped) & you want to still marry her so that you will "surpass" her in marriage?
5) This is the most important question: would you say because ladies have been sleeping around, you now want to defile your marital bed and break your vows because you want to show them you can sleep around too & maybe better & smarter than they did?

Forgive me for this deluge of questions but your statement brought about them....

elfmann:
Well, men see as women jump around before marriage.. U know u stop when d men start.

I don't understand please

Proudgorgeousga:
when I see the comments and attitudes of husbands and future husbands I wonder the same thing.

My thoughts exactly. Their mentality here goes a long way to show what they really have in mind for their wives. And it's scary as hell...

Geniro:
Am not here to pander to singles who feel marriage is a kiddies playground. Marital couples go through a lot of shit and this isn't the worst case scenario.

If my wife should infect me with an SD and confesses, certainly I will be pissed and have two options to play with which are: Leave that marriage or learn to forgive her. But staying put in that marriage without conjugal bliss is complete nonsense. Why punish the other party that way. Where do you feel she will be getting her satisfaction from.

What happens to insisting on using condoms with him to drive home the point he is a cheating scum and you haven't trusted him yet. What if the husband plays a counter game by accusing the wife of cheating cos 1 year is too much a gap.

The OP is allowing stupidity take over her and she will lose out if she is still interested in the marriage. There are no two ways. You either ship out or work it out.

The husband is there bidding his time and until he strikes she won't see it coming.

The husband is there having a swell time while she is at home mastubating her life away.

Whatever I advise her now is what I will probably do if I were in her shoes when I'm married (but I Pray I don't experience such) cos like you said, a lot of shit happen in marriage.

The main reason I quoted your earlier write up was because you said the man will be "balling" outside. I don't see any form of enjoyment there. A lot of married people are just so immature. Tell me why he can't show genuine remorse and take steps to make up with his wife WHO HE WRONGED GREATLY. You know why, cos he's not ready to stop his misbehaviour. So, whether she starts sleeping with him again or not, it doesn't change the fact that he will still do it again and soonest (if he really hasn't changed).

Like I said, I will give her same advice I will take. If I were in her shoes, I know I won't allow it to deteriorate to this level. 1 year is a very long time & so much water may have passed under the bridge on both sides. My handling it well will depend on the man, his level of remorse (which is the bone of contention here) & how far he's willing to make things right. You are a human being. You should know when someone is ready to change. Now, assuming I do everything I could & he's not willing to change or take steps in the right direction, I think I will tow the path of the OP & do what I know will not fail: go to "war" in Prayers. Why?
1) I don't support divorce. I just can't bring myself to support it.
2) I can't just consent to wearing condoms with him to please him when I know he's still sleeping around just because I'm his wife. What about the mental image of him doing what he's doing with me with those other whores?
3) the matter needs wisdom to handle so, I take it to God in Prayers.

So, i hope it doesn't get to the stage it got with the OP. I know I won't allow it get to that stage. But you also have to factor in the other person. Is he ready to meet me at least on the way even if not half way? A woman has the power to build or tear her home down. That's why we need to be careful, sensitive, Prayerful and wise.

Geniro:
Most you people commenting are not married hence the unrealistic replies or advice. 1 year is too long to Harbour malicious intent. She was even foolish enough to say she is having a cordial relationship with the man, a cordial relationship without sex.

That man is balling hard outside with his numerous chick's while she cooks and caters for him and the home . Whose loss is it? Hers or the man?

She will come begging and the man will deal with her.

She could have sought a way forward after the man owned up. Get him tested, have a chat with him, visit a marriage counselor, and in the worst case scenario insist he wears a condom if he wants to make love to you.

You call a married man who isn't remorseful that he infected his wife who gave him 4 kids STDS and who still probably sleeps with his numerous chicks outside "balling?" Seriously!!!! . How did this generation of men get to this point of selfishness & despicable sense of reasoning? And you are even asking whose loss that is...Let me answer you that. If the woman dies from heartache or high blood pressure or one of the deadly diseases the man might be carrying around, do you think that shameless man can take care of those lovely kids? The woman knows this so....it's better to be safe than sorry.

@ she will come begging & the man will deal with her. If you were the OP's husband & you have this mentality after everything you have done to her, then you are wicked & hopelessly irredeemable. So, after infecting her & not taking steps to treat your mess, you will still deal with her? Do you seriously think you can take this easy advice of yours if your wife infects you with STD and still has this sense of entitlement that you must forgive her immediately and continue the way things were otherwise she will "deal" with you?

Please note, that the man owned up doesn't mean he's sober and remorseful. Remember the man ONLY confessed when she confronted him with her test result. She even asked him just few seconds before then & he denied. The randy man is not sorry he cheated. He's only sorry HE HAS BEEN FOUND OUT! So, just because the wife found out is not enough to keep him from continuing to cheat. And that's what the wife knows.

PS: I like real men who own up to their mistakes no matter how hard it sounds. I keep telling people that my problem is not with cheating. My problem is the lies behind the cheating (the lies before, during and after). That's what will determine your fate with me

Chai!

A speedy recovery to you Richie. You shall not die but live

The earth is spherical in shape.

Mammals include goats, cows, sheep, cats, dogs.

I think I have won already...

shervydman:
S......they're both resting mode.
D......one is done in the day n for a short period while d other is done at night.

Wrist-watch n bangle.

S....they are both worn on the wrist.
D....one tells time while the other is mostly used as an ornament or jewellery.


Phone & tablet.

EYIBLESSN:
Olodo. Is it FORMAL OR FORMER ?

When will you start to think like a more matured mind. Stop behaving like a teenager


You sure say you go school ?

I keep saying that people that complain about others too much have the most faults(check my siggy).

Now back to your correction. Calling her OLODO while correcting her and still making mistakes makes you more than what you called her(no offence). Now what she wrote could easily be a typo error or auto correction at work(an honest mistake). But yours? It wasn't. And to think you got 248 likes for it!. Who are those people liking it? I wonder...

The word "mature" when used as an adjective doesn't take on "d" after it. It can only be "matured" when used as a verb. You used yours as an adjective cos it was modifying the noun "mind".

So in conclusion, let me ask a rhetorical question(I'm sure you know what that is). Who didn't go to school between you two?

Moral of this long writing you made me write here: you needn't have insulted her to correct her. It's always good to be civil when doing things like this.

No hard feelings....

*Modified* So I was going through the thread & discovered you committed worse blunders than I quoted up there. "A MATURED MINDS? Stop calling yourself a TEENAGE? Chai! And you had the temerity to call her Olodo?

sunshineR:

you know who this is right?

Yes I do.

sunshineR:
Happy new month khiaa and missjoy29

Thankssssss.
And I wish you the same too.

mrdickhead:
if you wanna hear me speak igbo then you know what to do,I am not too good in writing it

Ok sir.

mrdickhead:
you are not serious ,
but seriously,I am an igbo,from abia state,bends LGA but I didn't grow up in Nigeria either

I believe you

mrdickhead:
you are not serious

I definitely am.

obyrich:
The guy is very confused. Kindly educate him. He is seriously interested in an Abia/ Aba based female nairalander. What we do for love.

I don't think he is confused. He definitely knows what he's doing. You know after his last statement, I had to pause while I checked his profile. And I literally scolded myself for indulging him.

mrdickhead:
I'm from ABA bende LGA ,I have a close friend from umuahia,I was even planning to do December in his village but not sure for now.

You are from ABA Bende LGA? Where in the world is that?

mrdickhead:
Missjoy29 I think you can now believe me

Should I? I'm still thinking about it.

mrdickhead:
lol,why can't you believe me,which part of abia are you from?

point of correction,our language

Lol...Umuahia. you?

Speak for me then

mrdickhead:
lol why would you say so?
I'm a full blood abia born,I saw your profile and saw you are from abia too,let's build an empire together umalicha

I doubt if you are ibo. Cos you are seriously murdering my language.

mrdickhead:
pretty babe,kedu gi me?

Lol...I take it you are not ibo?

pweeryambre:
Really? ...you can go any length to bring out the Real in people, and how long do you intend to do that to a love interest? is that even necessary and what if it back fires? you forget that people have different threshold for provocation and people can change too.
you can test someone and they pass and then later surprise you in a horrible way over trivial issue, and then the ones you consider as devils from your test results turns out to become better people. Ah well.

True.

crunchyg:
Yea, you can now go and sleep well. Good night

Yeah. I sure will. You too. Goodnight

crunchyg:
Sorry it was a mistake, I didn't mean to ask you. Not that I was really interested though

It's ok. Apologies/mistake duly noted

crunchyg:
Give me your digits let's talk on whatsapp

I don't think I can do that....no offense though.

crunchyg:
Sup!!

Sup

truthsayer009:
Please tell me you eventually broke up with him.

Well, it's a bit more complicated. I had broken up with him before then but we were best of friends who trying to see if it will work again. But after that incident, the feelings just died.

He apologised profusely & we remained cool. But we both knew what we had couldn't be recovered anymore. So it's ended for good.
Btw, that wasn't his first time of being cold.

crunchyg:
Can we talk on whatsapp?

Care to tell me why?

Duru009:
Wish you luck dear, everything is possible!

Yes o....thanks anyway

crunchyg:
Before you no know?

Lol...I didn't know o.

So, what are yours?