₦airaland Forum

greiboy:
can the loyalty of a broke girl be trusted or isn't that "words on marble"


I am asking as a member of broke men association

Lmao! There's plenty room on the marble, so there's no reason to be competitive.

To some extent, it does cut both ways. The chances of a broke girl staying broke and dependent after you marry her though, are greater than the chances of a broke guy staying broke. He's bound to upgrade himself and when a person has got money, you begin to see their true colors. But a more accurate comparison would be if a girl suddenly went from ugly to stunning. A guy would likely worry about her loyalty then. She may start to feel that she can do much better.

pocohantas:
He should keep running.
The loyalty of a broke man can never be trusted...

Words on Marble.

Jupxter:
Intelligent people are difficult to correct. They are not aware of their conditions, when a person can't be corrected or don't listen to make corrections, how can they make corrections and improve. I've always maintained intelligence has a downside, that's the tact to appl with intelligence,intelligence is like a fast speeding train, it needs sound character, to tame it. It's a roaring fire and without control mechanisms, it will destroy its owner...Intelligence is a subtle curse. Ignorance is bliss !



Not jut with women, whenever i have to choose between an educated professional and an uneducated one, i go for the unlearned one, intelligence is a problem, irt's always looking out for errors, insecure, unsafe, always scheming, I'm ashamed for all intelligent people, males and females.

It's not intelligence that makes it difficult for a person to take corrections. It's arrogance. When people have an exaggerated estimation of their own importance they feel that no one can tell them anything. Sure, intelligence can make a person prideful, but money or beauty can have the same effect on a person. And before you know it you would be dealing with ignorance as well as arrogance. So, just look for humility in a person.

Daeylar:
My heart
Thank you
This is so sweet

You're welcome, sweetheart.

You Make The World Beautiful (John Flanagan).................Daeylar & Maezara . Please, don't change.

Most girls are like that. It doesn't necessarily mean that she's playing you. When they meet the MIL, they begin to feel pressure like they're constantly being watched and vetted. Especially if you haven't dated very long, or if you're a mama's boy. She may have a hard time being herself under that kind of perceived scrutiny. Also, some people just don't interact easily with older people (parent-type of people).

Dimples129:
You crack me up! Leave my fly analogy alone

Lmao! . I won't say a word,

Dimples129:
I'm trying to educate the brother

He pulled a playground trick on me -when boys pull your hair/mean to you because they like you-

Lol! I saw that, babe. That was a savage comeback. But then you pulled your punches

Dimples129:
You can attract more flies with honey (sweet words) than shiit (rude words)

Lol! Smh. Who's in the business of catching flies? Nice drift!

Dimples129:
Honey attracts more flies than shiiit does...

Chai! . Who's the poor guy at the end of this diss?

Martin0:
Na wa for u oo u jus dey enjoy only u na abi weldon oo

Same to u jor

Come oo na LD.. U base or NG?

thanks. NG, PH.

Dimples129:
Hey guys,

To you and all of yours,

Merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Love

Layla

Martin0:
Hahahahah I jus dey talk my own mind oo

How ur side na?

I dey o! , compliments of the season.

Dimples129:
Sweetie, Christmas was on you

I had an awesome day, thank you

How was yours?

Awww....

Mine's great, thank you. Food, booze and plenty noise. It's fun though, I'm spending it with the fam.

Martin0:
Miss Write I hope u noticed her last line ooo

"I love u sis" hmmmm

Lol! Get your mind outta the gutter, Martin.

Dimples129:
Hahahaha! Girl! You are something else

I love you sis

Hmm! Asampete (Beautiful girl!), your dp is . I love you more, sweetie. Hope you had an awesome Christmas.

Good for you. It shouldn't take anyone more than a day to fathom the meaning of "No".

ubunja:
and google was your friend.thats Y u took so long.still all the marches from the 70s amounted to zero coz the ultimate decision to legalize gay unions wasnt got by vote but by less than 10 men,with 1 man having the power to sign it into law or not.the same person rumoured to be gay himself. so much for person to person influences.
just like i have been saying that the change needs to come from without u are now in agreement with me. its the masses that convience society to change. not a lone person believing in herself/himself in his heart that he is able. it takes a change to come from without to make society change.
hence from the start i was saying Lets make it OK for men to show weakness.coz a man believing it in his heart as a lone ranger is never going to work.isnt that what i was saying?

Oh, first it was millions did not march; now it is they marched, but marched for nothing and impacted nothing. Ubunja, this is seriously beneath me. It's clear that your arguments are lacking in quality since you cannot even be bothered with doing a little research before making some bogus claim. So what are you basing them on if not facts? Sentiments? Let's just stop wasting time like this. Not everybody has the capacity or the desire to understand.

Jupxter:
MissWrite, Ubunja, is this a clash of superiority of any sort?

Superiority? No. Nobody is infinitely superior - it's a seesaw. We debate issues, win some arguments and lose some arguments. Hopefully, with grace. The atrocity is if someone chooses to defile his own intellect to evade obvious facts. What's the point of that? The truth will stand and your inability grasp it does not flatter you in any way.

ubunja:
which is what im saying isnt it? that it takes a person who can effect that change to make it.e.g a Leader.any other person would spend an eternity believing in his heart homosexuality is the right thing but achieve a fat zero with that inner belief(and gays never marched in the numbers u mention.coz they were extremely unpopular to begin with)
the gay change came from without and many people are now coming out in support coz its now accepted.no amount of inner belief in their rightness was gona help them until Obama.
all issues need that kind of support.coz right now men are unpopular.and noone cares.its all women this women that.and people have a herd mentality.just follow the leader.and debates about male issues are being shut down everywhere: youtube,twitter etc.any talk of uplifting men gets u called a Sexist.coz why are u ignoring women.individual men cant win.

Oh my God! Who do you think you're talking to, and what time do you think this is? Things can be confirmed in an instant these days. It's not enough to just say things, they actually have to be factual to give you any credit. You say homosexuals did not march in the numbers I claimed? What, millions? Homosexuals have been marching for gay rights in numbers since 1970 in memory of the killings at the stone wall inn in 1969. That's 47 years of people marching for a cause in the States alone! In 2006 the parade consisted of 2.5 million participants. So when I say millions, it is not an exaggeration in the slightest.

If you don't understand the process of change, where it starts, the commitment that individuals must make to spread their ideologies, to find and communion with like minds, all in an effort to grow in numbers so that they can be felt as a force by the larger society, then there's really nothing I can say to you about inside out change. I don't know what rudiments are necessary in a person's mind to grasp this concept. But your mind set might explain why Nigerians believe that the masses have no power to effect change and the only hope they have is to pray for a benevolent leader to have the power to read their minds and pass the laws that would improve the quality of their lives.

ubunja:
overnight in america it became cool and accepted to be gay when Obama made it happen. anything can be made accepted if those in leadership positions want it acceptable.the magic wand exists.the LGBT movement is less than 5% of the population.no amount of dominos falling on another could bring about such a turn-around.at such a record time.
can we do that for men too?and make it OK for them to be open without being called weak? coz your domino effect will take ages and ages and ages.remember even Feminism didnt go the domino route but was heavily funded and pushed by billionaires like Rockefella and countless special-interest organisations.

Are you being serious right now? Do you think Obama wakes up one morning thinking, out of the blue: How cool would it be to have homosexual marriages. I think I'll pass some laws to that effect? It is very unkind of you to neglect the advocacy of millions of individuals who've marched the streets requesting that change. There have been several debates on the issue before it was passed into law. As is the standard requirement. If Obama had woken up one morning to approve gay marriage when this wasn't an issue that had people at the centre, what would be the pre-conceived relevance? And how would such a top-down approach not encounter resistance from the many whose view-points have not been unified, aligned or prepared for this? Every change to society's perception begins with one individual even if the concept has gripped their brains only milliseconds before the next. I know you're smart enough to see that, but too stubborn to admit it. In any case, my point has been made.

ubunja:
OK u are missing my point.
as i told u its ok for one to have good intentions.but ultimately society dictacts how we live.
look;a man can sleep around and he's called a stud. if a woman does it she is a slut. now how did Feminism solve this problem of perceptions?by telling women the above message u told me? NO. millions of women marched on Slut Walks around the World. why? coz no matter how much as a person u believe u can change perceptions u have to do it from without not within. and Feminism gained its objective.society is being made to accept women love sex like men.no biggie. do u get it?
ok another example:
a woman gets harrased sexually at work.she has made herself strong inside but that doesnt stop men viewing women like sex objects in the work place.does it? solution? force Society to change perceptions.how?: the #MeeToo movement. and Society gets the message and men are beginning to respect women .
women learnt early that all the inner belief systems were worth zero,that real change is accomplished by forcing society to accept new paradigms.men need to learn that lesson.

You said that I missed the point but then you went about addressing the very point you claimed I missed. What exactly is the issue? Because if we're staying on the topic in swing....

We have established that a person has the option of either conforming to society and supressing his individual integrity, or expressing his own desires and dealing with society's disapproval. To clarify 'within' as used before, means the individual; 'without' means the society. From the options available to him, a person must decide where his gratification comes from: from himself, or from society. Not everyone has the self-esteem to damn the validation of society. But some do. They will not be slaves to society.

Now, to your examples. If a woman has a very high sex drive, she may choose to pursue her desires and express her nature, or she could supress her desires because society disapproves of a high sex drive in women. If she is built of sturdy stuff, and her self-validation is more important to her than society's approval, then she will please herself and wear the scarlet letter gladly. Because someone like that would rather die than compromise themselves for the sake of society. It would bring them no fulfilment to censor themselves. But if she does not possess the mettle to exist in adversity, she would let her integrity crumble in the face of social pressure and succumb to an applied version of herself. Same with the object of sexual harassment: if her self-esteem is fragile, she would seek validation from others and that's just a precarious situation for any human being!

To follow your digression:The ONLY way to change society is from within. How do you even propose to change it from without? That would mean changing the collective mind set with one wave of a wand. That is absolutely impossible. Society is a collection of individuals. The only way to change its collective mind set is to change the mind sets of the individuals who constitute the lot. It is a gradual process: One person affects another like domino pieces until enough people have a contradictory mind-set to warrant a general debate. You think feminists have not adopted this already? It has taken several strong individuals to put themselves at odds with society to get people to pay attention. Women have taken off their clothes in public and willingly taken the shame to shock the world into alternatives. They didn't even do it for personal gratification, but instead as a sacrifice to a cause they believed in. Bottom-line: It all starts within.

theGigolo:
In as much as I wouldn't like to pick a side in the drama that just played out, I couldn't help but notice that both have valid points to their argument. Mrbrownjay talks with a matured understanding of what works for him but that is not the rule, that is the exception. Over to my ubunja our society today is rather very corrupt in all ramifications and it takes a certain level of self discovery to see through the hypocrisy of the modern society. Two people could be born of same mother but they definitely will not see the world the same way cos as our personality is different so is our various ways of thinking. Ma'am try to see through this arguments from these two right thinking men without being judgemental.

But after all is done and settled the truth is the question remains, since you are a lady please do throw in some enlightenment on the topic @hand.

I think it is easier to understand things when they are as closely related to you as possible: Do you take everyone into your confidence equally? Or do you find that you can share your secrets with some people and not with others? What is responsible for this? Discuss.

ubunja:
that was not even the point. you say "we should strive towards honesty".and my point was that its all up to society. its nice and good to want honesty.but is society willing to play along?we dont live in a vaccum. when men open up how does society view it? weakness or strength? thats why i gave him the example that tears on a woman mean something different from tears on a man.so dont call it hypocrisy when men dont show tears. its about how society will take it.men wont do something that will embarass them.first make it OK for men to cry.then men will cry.make it OK for men to open up.then men will open up.
i just got tired of that guy's degrading statements.

Lol, his comments did not seem degrading to me, but if you felt slighted by them I won't discount that. I don't believe that was the intention though. You both seemed to wear each other out with your doggedness.

I understand your point about society - that a person must present himself in a certain way to gain society's approval. That a person must fit within the boundaries of society's expectations. And I understand his point - that a person must pay attention to his gut feeling to have any chance at personal fulfilment. We all want to be happy. A man's noblest pursuit is whatever is at the end of his path towards self-actualization. And when we get it, whose credit are we looking for? Does your validation come from within or without? Would a medal from society make up for your unfulfilled desires? Would you compromise your personal integrity for culture or society, knowing that society is simply a group of people whose collective view point has not been updated. We, as individuals, can respond to change more quickly than we as a group. And respond to change we must, so we cannot let society slow us down.

Have you ever read The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)? Please do if you haven't. I believe someone like you (who already appears to be collecting thoughts to develop his creed) could really benefit from the philosophy. It demonstrates the virtue of human selfishness in keeping integrity. Individualism over collectivism. It isn't a perfect philosophy, but it is good to come through it.

In any case, BrownJay's point about this seemed to be: Don't make yourself a slave to society. If you are in a relationship with a girl, do what feels right for you. If you feel weak be weak, if you feel strong be strong. Give honest expression to what you're feeling. Fvck society! No one is living your life but you.

But in the first instance, he implied that opening up to someone else is difficult on a personal level for anyone (man or woman) if the conducive atmosphere was lacking. And since both genders should relate to this, the question @topic should simply be answered from a personal perspective.

Lol, that was neatly handled. Thoughts between a boy and a man. Ubunja age is on your side, you'll grow out of this. You cannot reduce life to an unending series of hypocrisies, simply because you've noticed some hypocritical concepts in our culture. We should be striving towards honesty with one another and not more lies wherever we can help it.

Dimples129:
So, I got Christmas presents, from my very own
"Nairaland Santa"

I am overwhelmed by this "stranger's" - we haven't met - YET- kindness, and my faith in humanity is strengthened by her. I cry with Joy

Miss Write, I love you more than oxygen at this moment in time

1million times I Thank you

I love you more, sis . Have a blast!

, what do you know about Seun's story? Do you know whether it started with Nairaland? Just pray you get to that point where Google doesn't just give you results for POTUS' jet whenever you search your name.

The sex worker escaped Well.....she might not be in the position to appease the gods with beer and some money anyhow . The gods are very wise to have made Chinwuba unlucky. Hope he's learnt his lesson now.