₦airaland Forum

Could it be an insurance policy?, you know her spending on the chap could be a prelude to her asking, you know,like a diversion,

GEW:
you are right. you told the truth.   at least he came out with what he has been asked to deliver.

, I concur,yall gotta look at the bigger picture.

mikeansy:
Why has nobody bothered to answer my question.

Someone should give me an example of a country that practices full blown Islamic Banking in the last 30 years and how they will rank amongst top financial destinations like London and New York.

Again I know this is far more than delivering the banking sector, it's so glaring

talk2ahmed:
@ MREDS
What if it knocks, is it for u ?

You seem to neglect the word the poster used: NATIONAL,in my little knowledge of the english language, me thinks it means nation wide.

talk2ahmed:
@ fuke, even in londonthere is an Islamic Bank. Find out.
And what you dont know is that common language is not a recipe for peace. USA did not just become all english over night, it took a long time. The pe=robl with Nigeria is mainly due to interference and subtle control from the visible hands of EURO-Western bloc and Eastern sabotours. I am proud to be a human, a sane one at that, whats in a country? Morroco, Germany USA, Arabia or China, they all got their loads of trouble
So Islamic banks have been time-tested to be strong, not even a single Islamic bank was hit by the recent global financial mess, can you beat that ? Name one if you know.

No one is doubting the advantages of islamic banking, it's the motive behind it's establishment that's the issue,

hardywaltz:
Sometimes i regret been a southerner, with all our education we still let this Illiterate northerners to fool us. The current crisis currently rocking the banking sector is as a result of having northerners as finance minister and CBN governor over a banking sector that is 99% dominated by Southerners.

The five banks are about to be handed over to faceless foreign investors most probably islamic ones. This is Niaja where nothing works. Dont get fooled coz it worked in UK or US, it certainly wont work here. Take Sharia law for instance, the man who started it Yerima is currently been accused of looting while he was a Governor, but he gets to keep but hands and legs yet those who stole mere goats had thier hands chopped off.

Then most people especially my southern brothers & sisters wanted to reason Objectively with them, trying to point out the merits of Sharia law and the assumption that it will only be applicable to northerners. Now we have all seen that there is far more in the sharia bussiness than was disclosed.

For those of you who believe that Islamic banking is workable in Niaja just remember your objective arguments coz they will definately come back to hunt you.

men I really pray, I do, this is far beyond intellectualism, infact it is such that makes me know deep inside that something evil this way comes, !!!

princekevo:
Someone suggested during the cause of his argument that we should Google on Islamic banking and see what u got….And this is what an average layman would get from Wikipedia.

Islamic banking refers to a system of banking or banking activity that is consistent with the principles of Islamic law (Sharia) and its practical application through the development of Islamic economics. Sharia prohibits the payment of fees for the renting of money (Riba, usury) for specific terms, as well as investing in businesses that provide goods or services considered contrary to its principles (Haraam, forbidden). While these principles were used as the basis for a flourishing economy in earlier times, it is only in the late 20th century that a number of Islamic banks were formed to apply these principles to private or semi-private commercial institutions within the Muslim community.[/color]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_banking

And if we generally agree on what the wikipedia says, then i think this issue of Islamic banking is unhealthy for the unity and peace of the country at the moment…
Many bankers on NL might argue this based on its merits but that does not mean it should be introduce in a multicultural and multi-tribal country like Nigeria.
The North might adopt such banking system (Islamic or sharia whatever banking they call it) for all we care, but the CBN Governor should not use this force to inject such system into Nigerian banking sectors or impose such thing to us.

I hate it when people tries to impose their ideas on others….Am not a banker, neither is  every Nigerian a banker or economist like him and those of us on NL here, or how is gonna explain this to a layman like me that he want to introduce a banking system that is based on Sharia principles to a country like Nigeria…
OMG!!That means we are really approaching to the dead end of a country called Nigeria if he dares tries that…

Infact,  this article below highted the features of these Islamic banking which Sunusi himself and his support this will not expose to us…

Islamic banking has achieved growth rates that tremendously outpace conventional banking. While there are banking norms common to both Islamic and western financial systems, certain norms are exclusive to Islam. Some of the Islamic restrictions render certain western banking practices and transactions void.

The main prohibitions are riba and gharar. Most of the present-day Islamic scholars are of the view that riba includes both interest and usury. Gharar signifies ambiguity, uncertainty or lack of specificity in the terms of a financial contract.

As riba is prohibited, suppliers of capital become investors instead of creditors. Also, investment can only be made in permitted commodities and activities. For instance, one cannot deal in import and export of alcohol and narcotic substances. Similarly, money is not allowed to be invested in a casino.[color=#770077]
http://www.accountancy.com.pk/articles.asp?id=183

This means that no loan for any one who deals on tobacco and Alcohol…Wht happens to small scale business in Nigerian like beer palours,clubs, etc, a suppermarket is not allowed to sale alcohol or ceggarette if you will ever need loan from the bank
So once your table proposal to the bank for a loan and the business involved is against sharia law, no loan  for you. WTF.

This made it more difficult for a multicultural and multireligous country like Nigeria to adopt such banking system, unless we are ready for a break up. This cant work in Nigeria so he should pocket such idea. That it worked in US, UK or any where in the world is not a guarantee that is gonna in Nigeria rather might end up creating more harm than good to us.

Very soon Yaradull himself will want to give a try to islamic government becoz it worked in Arabe world with oil as such is gonna work in Nigeria

Another way of forcing sharia law on us
OH YE Nigerians shine thy eyes and beware of those lions and wolves coming in sheep form and as you Mesiah!!!!

/quote] Can't yall see, it's so glaring!

No2Atheism link=topic=317164.msg4457676#msg4457676 date=1251731989:
Now you are starting to understand how islam operates.

You are starting to stumble unto the territory of Al-Taqiya (i.e. sanctioned deception so long as it is for the long or short term benefit of islam).

Something it seems people are ignorant about is that:

1. Once you start something in the name of islam, forget it, only complete bloodshed and war can be used to stop it, cause muslims would never ever ever allow you to stop it. (once an islamic idea starts forget it, its like cancer it would spread into territories and issues you never imagined).

2. Nigerians turned a blind eye to Sharia in the north (which is illegal by the way considering that Nigerians are supposed to have freedom of faith anywhere), now sharia in the north gave birth to things like Boko Haram and others.

3. Islamic banking is just a small step in the long road to islamise nigeria (they are simply slowly chipping at the core of nigeria gradually clawing away at the essence of a free society). Once upon a time, a muslim considers himself lucky to be in the UK, now they are openly saying that want to turn UK into an islamic country   .
If it is not nipped in the bud, the same thing would happen to nigeria.

For example, how come a secular state like nigeria is a member of OIC,

- Yes interest free loans are good, nevertheless its better to do it within the framework of the existing laws rather than sell it as an islamic nonsense.
- Why is it being sold as an islamic nonsense if not that there is an ulterior motive.
- Nobody is stopping anyone from setting up an islamic bank. It does not need to be sanctioned by government.
- I personally support people being able to obtain interest free loans whereby you know u have a fixed cost to pay upfront, however what i do not support is for such an idea to wrap in islamic nonsense and then pass as law using an islamic encapsulation of different trojan horses

Even[b] Buhari [/b]and Sanusi [/b]do not hide the fact that their goal is to islamise nigeria by force.

To make matters worse, even the yoruba muslims cannot be trusted to do the right thing as far as islam is concerned (going by the utterances of those on nairaland and also going by historical precedences), hence as far as i am concerned i would personally torpedo any islamic banking nonsense.  

Islamic banking koo, islamic mending niii shior  

Unfortunately, what muslims are trying to do is to smuggle it in through the central federal government so that once it becomes part of the so called national law, then it becomes almost next to impossible to remove it without having to recourse to war. The thing is that if something is right and moral and true, there is no need to force it on people.

Muslims (most especially northern muslims) have been openly saying that there goal is to islamise nigeria [b]whether by force or crook, yet i am seeing people here talking bullshit about the merits and demerits of islamic banking.

The basic framework of an interest free banking can be excuted within the already available laws, anyone can set up an interest free bank, it does not take government to sanction it national, if not that there is an ulterior motive.

The earlier people wake up the better . . .

At the end of the day:

- The Five Banks are private properties, CBN has no right under heaven to sell private properties nor to turn them into islamic banks (anyone that says otherwise is just an Osama in hibernation)

A word they say is enough for the wise,

I guess it's the icing on the cake, so get used to it.

biola44:
if u've got enough time, perform d marital rites n take her along

Hear Hear!!

izeek:
IF U HAVE UP TO 3MONTHS INTERVAL BEFORE LEAVING THIS SHORES,
I SUGGEST U TAKE HER TO COURT AND DO A COURT WEDDING,
HAVE AN INTRODUCTION DONE AND THEN THAT WAY U HAVE LEGAL PAPERS TO TENDER AT THE EMBASSY.

ITS NOT AS HARD AS U THINK.

Hear! Hear!! again, failure to do all this my dear friend would result in catastrophe, yeah you could say I'm pessimistic,but I think I'm just being realistic, them long distance relationships don't work period, at least someone is liable to cheat, xtian or not!!! and a girl in her first year of study in school?, need I say more.

Me thinks you can't get a clear answer to ur query, please be more forthcoming in ur post about your dilemma!!!, hence the community is prone to think you are faking whatever what situation you say you are going through, word!

Sometimes when I sit back and read posts here on NL I just get bewildered,confused,laugh,think,contemplate, I don't know. Over here I now believe we are really some specie, so many many funny or should I say strange situations et al.
A future wife that doesn't love spending time with her prospective husband save on the phone, what irony (though I must say the poster didn't fill us on what the frequency of her spending time with him is or should be, for all we know he may be the very possessive type that wants attention 24/7, a situation which I think only a dolt could accomodate.)
Inthis vein I'd suggest that posters should be very explicit in their posts as regards their queries so the community can offer objective advice, this post like rommel's contain too many unknowns to merit a definitive answer.

There shouldn't be a confused you here, like someone said she aint feeling you enough to burn her little (as most ladies claim to have next to nothing as regards air time on their cells) or should I say ample air time on you. And where do you get off haranguing here about it, can't you see she's winning the mind game, you, all so in love and she, feeling real funky that she got someone swooning all over her, put ur breaks on son,lest you slide down that hill, and know this you DO NOT want to go there, no sir!

Can't say I can really give an objective statement here as you weren't expatiating enough, i.e what was the circumstance(es) that initiated your break up, that would determine what I think would be your stand as regards her sudden appearance in ur life again.

Since unfortunately all men are expected to cheat or most men are expected to cheat ditto the ladies, why all the fuss, Let The Cheating Commence!

Secretz:
lol. . . . I know what you mean. Luckily for me, most of my exes have either been an only child, or had only 1 sis. However, from the pit of my heart, I pity the man who wants to marry me, not only because it's me.lol, but because I got 6 brothers.

Wow, that's deep, so you see it's just a protective thing, everybody wants the best for their siblings,though I concede some brothers/sisters can be such dolts and asses in a hole!, just for the record aint scared of ur brothers lil'one.

Is the formula Short guys+Money=Tall Ladies?, BINGO!!!!, in fact add crippled,blind and deaf to the equation.

Secretz:
As much as it hurts, she is doing you a BIG favour, tell yours and her family that she wants to break off the engagement because she claims to be in love with someone else and you can't force anyone to marry you. Simple.

HEAR HEAR!!

@ritanl, aren't you protective of your brother(s)?---it's a female thing, y'all created it so get used to it.

Another brother in jeopardy as a result of our womenfolk, well,all the posts on this topic seem to be on point. Dialogue is the key before the plunge,make her understand how things are down from where you hail. Good luck.

An ample supply of foolishness and more than adequate supply of long-suffering, there,now you shouldn't have any problems.

I've heard, not like there's any help anyway.

Considering all the premise you noted buttressing why a gal or guy ought to be alone,I guess it's obvious why we all want to be unhappy, it's divine. At the risk of sounding spiritual I dare say it's a command that has been embedded into our genetic code, you know, He made us in pairs if you are for the pro-creation theory. Doesn't it puzzle you that despite having everything you'd still feel empty if you are single, no matter what we say about this, in the still of the night,when you are alone and you wander away in thoughts dont you wish you had someone you could really call your own, don't lie, no matter the career lady or man you are nobody wants to grow old lonely and unloved, not the paternal/maternal nor filial love,I mean looking beside you and not behind you to see the one who had stayed with you through it all,the fights,ups,downs,sweat tears and blood.That's just it, simple.
Me thinks that despite how uncertain the relationship terrain is, it's worth venturing out on, and if you're still skeptical and scared just hold Ur heart in your arms and take the first step, I assure you it's quite a journey, one you are wont to take now or then, I suggest now cos no matter how many times you get hurt or lied to or cheated on,you'd hit bulls eye someday,that is if you've learnt from the past and still believe in the efficacy of love. A pre-requisite to a good relationship is you MUST believe love can happen to you, if you go in doubting,then Ur believes will come true, guess that makes you a prohet, of doom I suppose. So plunge in.

C'mon people, why are we deceiving ourselves here, that txt is the seed of an extra-marital affair, you all know this so  why pretend otherwise, can we be friends, christ!!! a married mine harping on like a love deluded teenager!!!, to the poster, you did right hon by accosting him, you see this is what I keep yapping about, all in the name of love most people see the beginnings of the end of a loving relationship and they do nothing to stamp it out, saying you trust this ad that, open ur eyes!!!what do yáll want her to do, to stay mum huh?, then when it develops to a full blown relationship and she starts battling for her senses,family and all she holds dear,y'all would say "why didn't she confront him in the first instance". Woman, fight for what is yours, you know what lady, Ur hubby might not even know he's about to go off the deep end, you know how we deceive ourselves about our true intentions, in fact his not deleting the txt message from his sent folder confirms what I'm saying, it's a simple logic of mis-information and he's using it on himself and you, to convince you his hands are clean hence the txt being displayed on his phone, you know the ole I got nothing to hide thing', while he keeps telling himself that he really just want to be her friend, tell that to the birds, let Ur hubby know that attitude is not acceptable and should he want to cheat he should at least respect you enough to leave it at the door!!!
A word is enough for the wise, no matter how peaceful and loving a relationship is, always be on guard to protect such. Good luck.

Just like it is in science where there is no such thing as I deal Black, I'd say real love is the most elusive phantom anyone can and/or should search for. We have to make the best of what we have, real love, impossible,well not really as there is an exception here and there,but like the poster said,it aint love if it's conditional, the reasoning behind Prince's logic of taking his bride back to the registry to get ún-married".
When you are with one that respects your view,would go anywhere and do anything for you 70% of the time, then you got a good thing going on as on the average the humans are selfish and self-preserving specie, so fellas,please if she's all that love her all you can, she was God sent, you don't want to date a zombie do you?, same thing applies to the ladies but on the other hand ladies wish all men were zombies!

Would have traveled less,being around more, trusted less, all in all it was a good ride, some other time some other place a new lesson to be learned,that's the essence of living anyway, gathering lessons via experiences and generally making amends and giving it all you got, in the pursuit of happiness.

Read through your post, and like I always say,every post made much sense,but here's my take on the issue: Let her be. No matter the psychological gymnastics you engage in to woo her she can never really really "love"you the way you want her to,save you are one of the guys that believe in that ole she'll grow to love me after we are married, which I personally feel is horses@#t.
When a woman's heart is set on another,it takes the grace of God to make her love another, women, so so complex,you can NEVER be as good as the other guy, fine she likes you in a way,but her heart is not yours. You said your feelings for her is on the decline why suffer yourself by resurrecting past feeling for her. He treats her like dirt, but you've heard the saying, "why do good girls love bad guys", let her go for both your sakes, don't tempt her to doing something foolish such as cheating on you later on,let her go.

This here be my take on the issue, for better for worse,every post has a point. While acquiescing to the fact that marriage is a commitment,personally I feel that should the going get rough as regards economic situations (cos that is more often than not the "worse"part in the aggrement),both partners should stick it it out, unfortunately this isn't the case as either one of the partner bails out,and I guess everyone knows who, no offense meant,gotta tell it like it is.
Now on the other hand in a relatively well to do family the "worst"part could be infidelity on the part of either spouse and no offense meant too, we all know who, ok,the heck with it, the afore
mentioned partner in the economic scenario I painted is the woman, most women can't stand a broke man, they may abide for a while hoping everything get's OK,but when it looks like Hurricane Sufferhead is intent on wrecking the marital bliss landscape she won't hesitate to vamoose,and the real motherly ones also take off with their kids ( no problem, as the man is so broke he can't even feed them),while the real bitchy ones won't give a hoot,they'd leave the man stuck up with the kids (after all he fathered them didn't he). So this kind of family is doomed. The thing here as a man is to watch for the signs, and oh, forget about the whole courtship thing, won't work,if a woman has evil intent, God save the man,she can camouflage her real intents for years on end til she becomes the lady of the house and out comes her real persona (though I concede to the fact that some brothers are pretty good in spotting the signs).
So check out her temperament when you tell her there is no money available for certain thing she demands, does she sulk,does she withdraw from her conjugal obligations, if she does,danger ahead, initiate corrective,preventive, or safety measures immediately as the day your worst fear comes through virtue of losing the job or some otherwise financial calamity, it is over,kaput,finito,and if yáll got kids,it's worse!.
As for the second scenario, a well to do home,of course more often than not the man is cheating on the wife, yeah,that's right,tell it like it is. So also ladies watch for the signs, unlike females I've discovered men can't hide their true self for long in a courtship, he's caught by his fiancee severally, and of course she would forgive him, that's why we'll do it again and again and again,then go on our knees and tell you all the gibberish and mumbo jumbo you wan to hear,bout you being our moon,our milky way, christ! the things women believe!!!
End of story there's a sensational wedding and he starts cheating on her gain,but right now he doesn't give a damn,as she's his already,she's a Mrs, either live with all the comforts he provides,,,a good crib,a car for you,good school for the kids, or take a hike, you can't have both, now she's a prisoner, all smiles outside but so so sad inside, she lives just for the kids,and if she has a job, she throws herself into it,and the bitchy inclined might just get a boyfriend,but of course,we'll get to know, so you've made matters worse as the man has been given a very legit excuse to cheat some more and what's more, you get thrown out of your home for being a LovePeddler and adulteress, so you lose everything, the kids, everything.
So back to the poser, if you were in the above described situation,would you stay for the worse?
The better for worse thing,is I think an academic statement, let each man work out his own salvation, I don't advise any one to be in a marriage that would jeopardize your mental,physical,emotional,and spiritual well being, a situation that obtains in a lot of homes,frighteningly a lot, do you folks really comprehend what FOREVER means, do yáll!!!
Every one deserves the right to the pursuit of happiness,and if that pursuit shows you the exit sign as regards your marital life,as long as you've given Ur best,done everything in Ur unselfish motive to right matters and it still comes to naught,then God bless the day you leave that bondage. Am done.

Went thus: Couldn't say s@#t, had my tongue clinging to the roof of my mouth!!!

biola44:
man n woman palava!

For a moment there, I thought I was gonna be maimed by the ladies,but it seems someone shares my pragmatic and realistic view about the whole issue, which I think is a prerequisite to solving the dilemma. Pinky you are welcome.

I reiterate, let him go, this guy isn't having a fling, he is in a relationship, and the distance, look little one,the only thing constant in life change, you'd think you'd die after leaving him,but give yourself a couple of months and you'd be ok, trust me, been there done that. Keep keeping on.
P.S: He can't even afford calling you from london, christ!, some man you got!!, don't envy you at all!, you know the truth but you're just too scared to face up to it, it is finished, and you know it,so don't fight it, let it go.

Like I done said you can't help who you fall in love with, what can I say, mene! mene! takel! upharsin! ( are u a xtia?, then if you went to sunday school like I did ,you'd catch my drift little one). Let him go.
This distant relationship stuff, looks like your man is not having a fling, you know you come back to Nigeria and continue where you left off, sometimes a man gotta do what he gotta do, from the look of things your man is in a relationship, two different things, a fling and a relationship. The handwriting is on the wall, it's up to you, good luck.

achinu:
That's a tricky one ma guy. When it comes to dating for me, one of my rules are I do not date anyone that close to a friend i.e sista cuz if the relationship doesn't work out it throws a monkey wrench in my frienship with my buddy. Just me though, everyone is different.
I think you should tell your friend rather than him finding out by himself, Good luck

Hear! Hear!, in the same vein you can't help who you fall in love with, goodluck.

ThoniaSlim:
I'm not commending the lady or supporting what she did. . .but let's look at the finger pointing from another point of view. . .so the guy that slept with her is a "player" just because he's a dude. . .
Now I can't stand ignorant peeps like you!

Here's my take on the issue, aint no one excusing the male in this issue, what I think the poster was harping on was the fact that the lady engaged in wilful sex with impunity considering the fact that she was about to be married, now the onus is on her to toe the other line.
Ladies get this, I can't say this enough, guys are there to rip you to shreds,to maim, to destroy, all they need is a flimsy excuse,just a certain glance,touch, look,an innuendo,suggestion, whatever and they'll come after you like a starving shark at the first scent of blood!, flee all situations that can put you in situations such as was described by the poster.Listen folks we are human, the guy could have been a real suave,debonair chap,irresistible, and no offense meant to the ladies you all know you can't resist a hunk, you know the tall dark handsome type, even those strong enough to resist still cheat in their hearts by fantasizing about being ravished by such a man, let's tell it like it is ok, ladies, men are dangerous ok, until you get that into your skull there will be no peace for you ok, most of the times what we want is simple, sex, we can live without affection but the sex thing is another issue, now for y'all ladies you may be able to live without sex but you DEFINITELY can't live without affection capisce?, so you always need someone,a girlfriend,mom,dad,sibling,boyfriend whatever to confide in. If y'all could look less into the physical attributes of a man and into what is innate in him, I personally feel 80% of your problems are finito, but of course you wont, unlike men, take a real look around you, the so called hunks and players when they choose to settle down who do they get married to? huh?, look at their wives, some of them are so simple and plain you'd think she used charms on him, but you know what? men know this, to attain peace of mind get a lady that you can have total control over by force of your personality which could be attributable to your looks or cash and men know a beautiful woman would be a handful so he'd rather have her for a fling or girlfriend rather than a wife, but I digress, back to the issue at hand, guys,please and please know your woman inside out (though I know it's a tall order) and ladies go out with men simply not on looks or stack (not telling you to date an orangutan looking guy though,or a dirt poor loser!) because at the end of the day all we seek is peace of mind, ability to sleep at night without wondering what your spouse is up to, God! this man woman thing can't be settled this side of heaven, !!!!?

On the real,these men start out with lofty aims and laudable goals,but there is just something about fame and money, something so so powerful,as soon as they get some popularity out goes the meek demeanor and they start strutting around like peacocks, fellas I won't lie to you,I don't know, Christianity is really in shambles, directed to the spiritually minded xtian brothers, better get on your knees as the enemy is at the gate and he isn't a mohammedan,or whatever, he is your pastor,feeding you erroneous doctrines and you just gobble it up, I wonder!

Like I said I'm not going to be drawn into any debate on the issue, each man to his own, the wealth of info and research I have on the topic is too staggering to even begin to go into, you think bobbyaf has info, wait til you see,and read real info. But that's for another day if ever, I believe you guys got a worthy opponent in the person of bobbyaf.

Judgement at the door!

I've been following this thread,I didn't want to comment but let me just say something, @chukwudi,I understand your plight, you can't just up and leave somethign you were born into, it's part of you. But I say this from a neutral standpoint and that of an academic and scholar, history leds ample an when I say ample I mean ample evidence of the disgraceful,shameful and unbiblical conduct of the Roman Catholic Institution and the Papacy.
Funny enough,these evidence are not secret, but you know what the Roman Catholic Institution has gone too far, you guys that are berating her better pray real hard cos I think you guys have lost the battl already.
No one should come asking me to furnish links to such evidence, the roman catholic catechism is evidence enough.