healthserve:




Wisdom is moving Inspite of obstacles Fear is making up reasons not to take action

Now you are talking. I choose wisdom all the time (moving ahead inspite of any obstacles... Be it something that will make people think its fear, or something that will lead to stories that touches, or something that I leave God to judge. All of it is based on the wisdom to keep moving my way).

After everything, you are back on same page with me. F...k fear, choose wisdom.

Zhuhilat:
How Do I Deal With This Level Of Disrespect From My Husband

Dear all

I and my husband are just 2years in marriage.

Every time we have issues concerning anything, he is always telling me to pack my things and leave his house or he will say things like you are off no importance to me and you bring me no value and stuff and stuff. But after a while he will apologize and say he doesn’t mean it.

Last month, what caused our fight was because my mum sent some food stuffs to us because she traveled and got them cheaply. He was angry because he felt that was disrespectful. And the argument degenerated to him telling me to leave his house,

i got tired, called his bluff and left the house but everyone advised me to go back and make it work., well except my dad. Mind you, this was the 5th time.

On my return, we talked about it(like we always do) and i thought it was genuine, and i said i was going to give it one more try.

Today, we had an argument because of baby food. I told hime to buy on his way back. I couldn’t go out because the whole road was terribly flooded .

But he didn't buy it, and that lead to an argument. And the next thing he told me was to fuc.k off and leave. Or he is leaving. As a matter of fact, he just left the house now 12:00am.

I am actually tired of it all. and right now, i don't think i have any love left for him or this marriage.
I think he is cheating on me and for some reason i am beginning to look outside and crave attention, love and respect from someone else.

I don't want my child to grow up seeing me treated like this but most importantly , i don't want her to think it is okay to accept being disrespected and under valued like this.

Married people is this one of the challenges in marriage or what?

Why cant we have an argument that doesn’t lead to leave my house, i dont need you, you bring me no value and all

Also we are very very comfortable, i work and he works too.

Emotionally, i am done.

To be honest, its a very sad story you wrote if we are to look at things the way you have stated. But from a very normal perspective, you might also have a problem which is pushing your husband away from you.
I believe you both dated for a while before marriage so you should have seen certain things before going into the marriage but ignored. When you say you both argue a lot honestly that is questionable as well and points a finger to you as an issue because some men don't like when their wives talk back at them especially in a disrespectful manner. So its quite obvious you argue much with him and that might be one of the trigger points why he always want you to leave.

Him telling you that you add no value to him somehow shows that you maybe do nothing to really spice up the relationship between you both at home. Its really deep when a man says that because it means you bore him a lot and at the end you argue with him a lot. These things will push him away gradually and trust me, you thinking you will find happiness somewhere else will shock you and destroy you more because you will only see that happy moment for a while because that thing you have not been able to change about yourself that is pushing your husband away will still push any other person away from you maybe after they have gotten what they want from you and you might end up regretting why you ever left your marriage instead working on it and stop accusing your husband of being at fault.

I can't type much but I hope you build yourself properly to fix your marriage than to break your home expecting to fine happiness somewhere else. Its very rare to see any responsible man now that will with an ex wife very serious.

healthserve:




Again fear induced thinking



You need to reaibrate your thoughts thinking factory. To do this, tell yourself each time I see the fear above or before anything else, it's the fear co dktioning your mental faculty. Try to have balanced thoughtlife. At the moment, you imagine and believe only the worst of things will happen to you and not good. It's not good bro. Bad mental posturing. Get married first before you embrace the fear of conception. Have a child first before thinking if you'll be able to provide good training. Rent the shop first before you think how the customers will come. Don't let fear ruin you subjecting you to have fearful thoughts. It's your mind not the system or people. It's you

This has nothing to do with fear. There is a difference between fear and wisdom. You can think of it as fear in your own way of life, but in another mans way of life, its his own wisdom.

Now will anyone punish another for not helping? No.
But some mentality will its wickedness while others like you call it fear.

Why would someone with wisdom choose to do something that might bring up something not necessary and go through the stress of proving otherwise, when you could have easily avoided it without any stress or explaining anything to no one. Let God/Allah or whatever you believe in be the judge of your action.

healthserve:




The usual insecure posturing brought about by insecurities and unsubstantative fear of Nigerians flawed thinking. I was involved in a serious case with police recently and the e tire force duffed their hat at how I handled a delicate a serious issue even worse than this. Plus, I have a God and I've got good lawyers

Now you are speaking from your own very obvious good way of overcoming such situation. How many other Nigerians can do same when they don't even have a charge and bail not to talk about a good lawyer.

Even with all this you have said, I will advice you just keep thanking God you haven't had any bad experience with the police or military because there are situations were your good lawyers like you said will only come to your rescue after the damage has been done and after you have stayed almost a week inside police cell before they bail you. Even those your lawyers will be the ones to advice you on how to always respect yourself in certain matters.

From the way you sound, I know that police has not changed matters for you before and you have probably not been in a police cell before so please pray you never experience such. In Nigeria that I know, if police really mean you whether you know your right or not, or you have good lawyers, they will surprise you to the point that even though your lawyers can help, the frustration alone will make them tell you to avoid such situation next time. And that's probably after you have counted some good days in cell.

healthserve:



Then stop spreading panic. Rather give guidance on how to get it done. Worldwide one in such scenario is always advised to take two or three persons from the accident scene. With photos and videos of modern days such in eventualities of false allegations can be addressed. I'm chaotic systems, we need to look for ways out not to complain about chaos

Till it is addressed don't blame those that didn't help. Helping in a situation like this is what we want Nigeria to be like, but it's unfortunate we haven't gotten to that stage. I truly understand you haven't gotten a close encounter with helping and police issue at same time so you are probably just thinking from the suppose angle it should be which is the right way to go. But hey, I pray you don't ever find yourself in any such situation that will make you regret your action. A soldier is not suppose to run from a battle field, but its only the ones that run that can tell the real story of what happened and that will be able to help others avoid such situation from happening again.

healthserve:




Stop this negative hogwash. I have one question for you. If you're a victim of an accident would you prefer to be left to die or someone coming to your aid even at whatever risk they may face. Tell me.

Bro, let's leave sentiment. If I find myself in that situation I will be happy to get help from anyone who helps me. But keep in mind that I will never see anyone who doesn't help me as a bad person because I understand why they didn't.

And so what. Is it not their lives and their business too.

Promismike:

Our problem is our faulty system. People avoid helping accident victims because of how the police and most times the hospital turn the case against them.

I once helped took an accident victim to the hospital with my vehicle. When we got to the hospital I was detained by the hospital. The funny thing was that this lady was alive and was even telling the doctors that I was not the one that hit her. That I stopped to help get her to the hospital.

I was threaten with the police. In the end I had to find a way to sneak out of d hospital in morning after being kept all night.

Our system is our problem.

Exactly. Those that refused to help might not do such out of wickedness but just to prevent stories that touches. I know someone who had your similar experience so there was a day I was travelling along Benin Okada road and I saw people that were robbed with many injured and they were pleading I help carry some in my car to UBTH but trust me, even when I was just the only one in my car, I didn't carry even one person because I remember what happened to a friend of mine who did such. At the end police will carry you and even accuse you of being one of the suspected armed robbers and the rest story is another thing. Prevention is much better than story that touches and God will understand.

If you are asking this question, I wonder the kind of question those with 3rd class will ask.

So it is true that after all the noise of Dino, he is surely going to join he oga (Saraki) as new social media senators.

I saw this post online somewhere I decided to share in case anyone can help get this driver a job.


Hello,
I am a qualified and very professional driver with many years of driving experience.
I started my career in driving at the age of 16 years with a manual car. I graduated from manual to automatic with a good distinction of no accident recorded.

I further proceeded in my driving career by becoming a top class expert in car maintenance specializing in professional washing and ensuring any car I use is always in good shape.

As at 22 years, still without any history of accident recorded, I had an opportunity to travel to England were I obtained my masters degree in right hand driving for both manual and automatic vehicle. I also gained more experience in maintenance of diesel run vehicles as it is being scarcely used in Nigeria.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that I overstayed my visa limit in England, I was deported back to Nigeria and I am ready to apply my wealth of professional driving experience in any job I can get and I can also double as a PA to the person I will be driving.

I would require a basic salary of just N250,000 a month plus other benefits like travel allowances and a decent accommodation.

Anyone who has any job available that fits my requirements and experience, please do not hesitate to send me an email.

(I had to remove the email of the person).

Blossom my man

They are hustling and making their money, lazy youths are comparing their beef, even making their hustle pay more. Very soon will see both of them drinking together and having fun after cashing in on the beef saga

WalkerMichael:
Do ladies understand that majority of guys don't like girls on heavy or even light makeup? Especially when they use it ALL THE TIME (because there are some ladies like that). I think asides low self esteem & probably very low confidence, they wear makeups because of their fellow women...

I dislike girls on makeups lol... Do they even understand the after effects of the regular use of chemicals on their skin?? Being a man is one of the best thing in the world.

Chaiii that girl in that picture deserves to be in jail lol.. That is called impersonation for crying out loud. I remember one comedy when they said some girls find it hard to receive their blessings from God because after praying, the day God will decide to send the blessings through Angels, when the Angels carry the girls original picture and reach her house, they will see another different face with heavy make up and then they take the blessing back to God and tell God they didn't see the person in the picture that they were suppose to give the blessing

lilmax:
We can all be mike

But a woman must be worth our mike aura


Treat women the way they are


If she's a dumbass treat her like one
If she's a HOE treat her like one


If she's a Queen, treat her like one

Your statement is useless when it comes to marital affairs. You will be the one to be blamed for marrying a dumbass hoe if you do.

Why can't you settle for a queen as a man

nairalandposter:


In my opinion, nobody owes you an explanation for being intellectual.

Make your request without insulting others, is that difficult?

Do you really understand the true meaning of the word "insult"

This what suppose to be the normal thing a governor should do all around his state in order to really feel the pain of its people.

Its unfortunate we only see these things being staged once in a while on social media.

esente:
Keep crying. That's what an idiot like you should be doing.

Keep quoting me to impress because that's what stupidity is all about.

I am just trying to make a suggestion here so please dont bash or ban me.

This forum is a big forum with lots of recognition both home and away. I read topics of people who even went overseas from this forum and others doing legitimate businesses here.

I dont know if the owner of this site can create a section for talents where they can upload short videos as well. There is so much energy on this forum with people spending time insulting one another or claiming intellectual for any post.

If this energy can have a spot in terms of pushing fun talents and their creativity to front page, I believe a lot of raw talents will be blown to the world and Nairaland will have a spot in the raising of talents.

Just my opinion sha.

Why is the government still wasting time to give this biafra

esente:
So because I have a different opinion, you are now abusing your ancestors? Abuse them very well because they failed to give your parents good training to transfer to you.

Nooo, not my ancestors, am only crying for yours and seeing that you are about to pass it you your generations that will still come out to reason backwards like you when things are moving forward.

I love the material of that Wike's dress. Please who what its called

freechat:
Long epistle, no sense. People sha.

Thank God you have realized you dont have sense. Its not too late to work on your thinking since you are not up to 40 yet. Do the needful to avoid transferring your s..........ness to your products. Tanks

esente:
Has the Army been able to overcome Boko Haram? Why distracting them when we have Police and Civil Defence. And if you think the folks you watch on 'national TV' are the most intelligent, then I will not join issues with you.

Not about the folks on national TV but you that can make your opinion well known to more masses. In respect of the Boko Haram you are talking about, do you know how many army are in Nigeria? Do you know even the police are involved in the fight of Boko haram in the north?

Should the government just focus on only Boko haram with the army when other bandits are causing problem in the country because they no longer fear the police?

Use your head bro and stop thinking from your anus because even if you give your opinion from now till God knows when, the government has taken a decision to tackle other insecurity issues rising in the country by using the main force which is the military and your opinion won't count. Focus on the positive aspect of it and those that are happy about it because they know what insecurity feels like.

Maybe if you or your family have been kidnapped before, or maybe herdsmen or other bandits have inflicted pain to you or your family where there are police or civil defense, you will appreciate the need for a stronger force like the army to join them.

Now in case you are so dumb not to understand the meaning of the news, they never said the police or other internal security agents won't be working. It simply means that the military has now been included in operations to help tackle these insecurities.

Make una still dey reason sometimes before you open mouth talk anyhow or condemn something.

ogbuefi677:

Have you eaten since last night?

Very dull question from an obvious dullard

esente:
Last time I checked Nigeria Police has not been scrapped. Internal security is their business.

And the last time I checked it was the police that has been handling it when people like you were still shouting increase in insecurity.

Why is it so hard to please Nigerians. Every step taken will always be condemned. If you are more intelligent than the government I wonder why you are only speaking on Nairaland and not on a national TV station.

ogbuefi677:
I wanted to say d sunni wahabi zoo army should concentrate on boko haram,Fulani herdsmen and bandits and leave internal security for police and civil defense but I remember we're in a military regime with General Mumummadu Buhari as head of state.

Very foolish statement. Since all this while is was left with police and civil defense, is it not same people like you that always shout about increase of insecurity in the country. Still blaming same government all the time and now they are taking new steps to increase security measures in the country and same people like you can say nothing but sill condemn the efforts being made.

What kind of human beings are you people that see nothing good in anything?

Successrole:
Is someone still smelling that she wasn't allowed into the final party. abi she still de wait for all the audio money promised her by attention seekers. I didn't say it oh, my friend just did.

She was disqualified and not evicted.

muzically:
Where is Tacha?

Evicted housemates note disqualified housemate.

I don't know if its just me that think this way but it amazes me to think that its very rear to see a lady that is outing without any makeup be it light or heavy.
Those heavy ones sometimes makes me really wonder how they feel whenever they wear it on. Though the ones that do very light makeup is somehow much better than those very heavy makeup with eyelashes that looks like an umbrella lol.

In all these though, I know it makes them look both beautiful for some and horrible for some but my question is, what is so wrong with a lady going for an outing or event without any form of makeup be it light or heavy? Like just take your bath, rob your cream, brush your hair, wear your dress and off you go.

So this is news? All these kind of things are what must have made PMB call our youths lazy.
When people are cracking their heads on new inventions that will lead to development, many are checking for pictures online to make news.

This is serious issue.

Csami:


There's no such thing as the perfect soulmate. If you're lucky, you'll just get someone you can tolerate.

There is bro, just say you haven't met yours.