₦airaland Forum

Sepsis:
She did. As a matter of fact she did so well to maintain her weight during pregnancy through controlled calorie intake. I was the one who was admonishing her to eat but she was the picky eater because she didn’t want to blow up.

Well it worked. We had a healthy baby. She was fine after delivery. Now it’s like she doesn’t care anymore. Like she can’t be bothered because the husband is going no where and she has a beautiful baby. It appears she’s content and nothing else is important.

I’m tired.



I agree wholeheartedly with this. Habits are key. The cause of this blowing up is the stress eating of junk earlier on but now the damage has been done. It reeks of indiscipline to eat carelessly and thinking about it just makes me mad. Now the determination to lose the weight is out of the window and I’m stuck with a curse.

It’s good that she at least had the commitment before so it sounds like a simple case of lost motivation. The thing with weight gain is that you have to keep watchful every time. You can’t afford to abandon control for long because when you lose control, you gain and gain and blow up. At some point, despair sets in and you feel you can’t win the battle so you settle into the defeat and simply eat more.

From the sounds of it, she’s officially overweight so it’s going to take time but it can be done especially since she’s not obese. The work has to start early though so that she doesn’t get to the extent that weight loss would mean loose, hanging flesh.

Find out why she’s lost motivation, she needs to go back to what pushed her to maintain control in the past. Every woman that has been able to maintain success in the battle has that major thing pushing her.

Sepsis:
Hey guys. I could use a little perspective on something that’s been bothering me. Got married for a little over a year now and I have a kid. The baby is not up to a year yet. The crux of the matter is my wife started stress eating after she delivered. Her weight was normal after delivery so it wasn’t as a result of the pregnancy. After delivery, she started eating a lot of junk. She wasn’t staying with me then - she was with her folks. Her eating wasn’t supervised.

Now she came back all fat and bigger than normal. When we dated, she knows my stance on being overweight. I have a special dislike for fat or thick girls. They always look lazy and clumsy and I’ve never been attracted to a fat lady.

Now she’s overweight. She looks way older than I am and I don’t know how to force myself to be attracted to her. When I see pictures of men and their wives looking fit, it makes me wish that was me.

We haven’t taken any picture together in up to six months. She hasn’t taken any either. I can’t post her on my social media because I’m not proud of the situation.

She has a good character and takes care of the baby well. I work full time, run errands and cook for the house. Her main job is taking care of the baby. I have tried to help out domestically to lessen her burden. In fact, since we started living together she hasn’t gone to the market for one day.

I don’t know how to approach this situation. Already I’m sexually frustrated and I’m too young to be feeling this way.

It’s all well and good that she knew your stance with thick girls before marriage but did she have the same viewpoint?

Most black women, once they reach a certain age, even without childbirth, are prone to bulge. It’s just the way it is. For most, it takes a determination not to get fat to avoid letting go and that determination is a constant battle. To succeed, she herself, by herself, has to be committed to a certain size and be prepared to work for it daily.

Women can exhibit determination in a lot of things but for many, weight loss/maintenance is not one of them. The thing, the strength, that makes her fight the bulge has to come from within her, that is the secret. If you can provide the inspiration, great! but lasting commitment would typically be beyond what you can provide.

In the end it’s good old fashioned diet and exercise for long term results. There are short cuts but they are not long lasting and some are outright dangerous eg some diet pills and teas have caused fatalities.

bukatyne:
When are you creating our thread?

Good evening.

Mba, I no dey do but threads like this are along the same line so he who has ears should listen.

During this 1 month lockdown, for anyone that has had to beg and/or lie to feed their kids, this is the wake up call you’ve been waiting for that you are not doing well financially and need to stop/suspend having more kids.

@Topic

You’d think this should be common knowledge by now but no, even in Nigeria of 2020, some people still think they are doing kids a favour by bringing them to this world to suffer when they don’t have the financial capacity to raise them.

The same person begging other people to help raise his/her kids would be the same one waiting to feed off those kids the moment they are capable of earning any sort of income; even if it’s just #20,000 a month.

This mindless birthing exists in the developed world too but the difference is the society and the levels of government there have programs in place to support low income folks - regular cash deposits to their bank accounts, subsidies, free services that everyone else has to pay for, scholarships targeted at students from low income households, etc.

If you are not residing in any of such societies, seriously consider getting a vasectomy or hysterectomy so you can put a permanent stop to the insanity of birthing kids you cannot afford.

bukatyne:

Someone needs to start a thread here to encourage women to start relating simple arithmetic to birthing children. Basic arithmetic skills are not just about passing school exams, they are a basic part of life skills
How can you even look your kids in the eye when they are suffering and you’re pregnant AGAIN?

SweetCunt97:
Dayuuuuum, that's harsh but the truth.

Yes, I am a woman so I tend to get particularly impatient with women that contribute to the “fish brain” reputation

Dooj:
Am a pregnant mother with two lovely kids.
Am pleading on behalf of my myself and family for help from good people here.
Pls nothing is too small.
What we need is to eat and be stay alive
My husband lost his job since January this year and life has been extra hard for us, couple with this lockdown, I can no longer hawk cold water with my kids as we used to.
Please help me and my family to stay alive.
3051070789
D U.
First Bank.

Modified:
If I had refused verification, everybody here would have condemned me and written me off as a scammer.
But now that I have accepted any type of verification to be carried out to identify if am real or not, nobody is answering me again.

You lost a baby to CS 2 months ago. You already have 2 kids, your husband has been jobless since last year (that is what his post says, not the Jan you have up there) yet you are pregnant AGAIN? As in, neither of you thought it prudent to avoid pregnancy with your family’s economic condition? You still accepted his kini even with hawking water with your kids? Meanwhile, your husband, just this month, said you have 3 kids now you are saying 2? Same husband has received multiple times on giveaway threads in just the last 2 months.

Imagine! You hawk water on the streets with your innocent kids yet you think nothing of getting pregnant again and again! Do you not want to enjoy life? Do you want to condemn yourself to a lifetime of lack? Do you not know that statistically, with every additional child in your current economic state, your family is likely to remain poor?

Look at your last paragraph again. So because you have “accepted any type of verification “ money should start rolling in abi? You choose to be a bearer of children even when your husband is jobless and your own job is not exactly high paying? You think that’s your calling in life? Guess what? Even animals carry pregnancy! Insects sef can reproduce so it’s time to think beyond pushing babies out. Birthing children in a precarious economic state is NOT an achievement! You need to sit your brain down, ask God for wisdom because that is what you need now, more than money.

Wonders! You and your husband are a tag team on Nairaland smh!

nwamabo247:
ok thank you very much for your concern the account in the picture below if I typed it here I will be bank for spanning the site,

You should have it now, please modify your post to remove your account details

I’m going to ask someone to send you something. Can you confirm account details and name?

nwamabo247:
yes.why do you ask?no offence

nwamabo247:
The population of those country are too small naw they are not even up to some size of some State in Nigeria intense of population

Are you online?

boldx:
We know how difficult times can be. Some of us have experienced it at one time or the other and I know it is not funny.

Due to this lockdown palava and scarcity of funds, it is necessary to know those that really need help so that anyone willing to help can reach out to them. People have had to create new monickers with 24/48 hours to ask for help which may or may not be right.

But to limit people scamming other people of their hard earned money, I am suggesting that anyone that has opened a new monicker (username) in the last one month, March 27, 2020 should not ask for any financial support. This is just to ensure that people get the needed help when they cry out.

Well that is my opinion. Feel free to add yours.

Whatever you say! Your giveaway, your rules
Please go ahead and give. Thank you for your generosity towards your fellow Nigerians

daniddan1999:
Do you feel or think that your life would have been different if only you where born in another country other than Nigeria?
Well for me i am just starting life tho some times it's hard but i just have to try cos i got no other option than to try.
Though i would have loved to be born in another country if only i was allowed to choose.
What do you think?

@Topic

I don’t know but sure am glad I was born and bred in Nigeria. . . . . I think I understand where you are coming from though.

Such disgusting nonsense

Ejenavi18:
Hello,
I'm a student in need of a Job
I'm based in Warri.
Thanks.

....

Let’s just call it a “glorious mess” which means I have to use some sort of head covering whenever I need to go out

chii8:
I address strangers as "dear" ooo, I hope it's not a problem?Op should exercise patience until he catches her red-handed and not based on mere assumptions.

Opposite sex strangers? If it works for you, great!

I don’t know if she’s cheating but the sooner we learn to reserve endearments like “my love, dear, etc” to our partners, same sex people and family members, the better we’ll all be.

But what do I know sef, after all the only people outside that group that call me “dear” are my elderly dentist and an elderly family doctor.

You are a human being with feelings, not a machine. You should not feel compelled to do it anytime and every time he’s in the mood.
You both have to discuss this and reach a compromise. Marriage is not a visa to sexual bondage

Don’t bother controlling visits, just cancel.
Simply tell them not to be offended, you are practising social distancing so not having visitors right now.
This is a highly contagious disease. The risk of catching Covid19 far outweighs any certainty that someone would take offence. The money they’ll give mother and child would not be enough to stop the disease.
With the growing number of cases in Nigeria and the world, anyone that loves their life shouldn’t have to be reminded but people still take silly risks.

Incredibly sad

Shebi it’s when you have a choice you can decide against private

Making fried rice with brown jasmine rice comes close

Madam, you got money from another poster, another thread in this section, just this afternoon . You used another moniker to get that money and that same moniker has received multiple times from this site in the last few years. Give others a chance too and next time you have, give. That is the secret when you want to receive. Sow so that you may reap.

Iffffffy:
God bless you for this, please this lock down caught me in a bad place with my kids, i really need help, pls.