₦airaland Forum

You have no idea how loaded this question is. Everything is relative. Maybe if you state your household income?

3MM income a month is not even close to a good lifestyle in Naija for some people while some could happily achieve their desires with 400k or less a month.

Good environment means what? Ventilation in your accommodation? good roads? stable electricity? nice schools. . . . . . . . .?
Good cars means what? Secondhand or brand new? Car age? Luxury or utilitarian? SUV or sedans. . . . . ?
Travels to where? Turkey? LA? Jakarta? Dubai? Accra? Johannesburg? Cairo? NY? Milan, Zurich? Manchester . . . . . . .?
Feeding well means mama put? Professional in-house chef? Eateries? Fine dining restaurant?
Nice clothes- quality? Used or new? Brand name or not? If brand name, what brand level - Walmart or Gucci. . . . . . . .?

If you have people that love you, food on your table, good health, peace of mind and you are able to sleep with both eyes closed - be thankful to God. That is a whole lot more than a lot of wealthy people have.
Don’t forget to enjoy your youth, the years go by quickly.

Yes, money can aid some things but it does not guarantee happiness nor peace nor health nor fulfillment nor a lot of things people see it bringing.
Unfortunately, people that think money is the solution to their issues don’t learn that it’s not till it’s too late. They spend their whole life on that struggle, thinking it’s all they’ll ever need and till the end, it never quite works out.
Don’t forget to live, enjoy your journey and remember to ALWAYS count your blessings.
Never resort to crime because in this life, before you die, you will definitely reap what you sow.

Parents - invest time and effort in your children so that they have the right value system. The truth is that in life, we often don’t need as much as we want.

Kingsley2001:
Wow!
Thanks so much Ma, your words mean a lot.
I greatly appreciate every part of it.
Your advice is appreciated too and everything is noted.
Thanks a lot once again Ma.

Just an observation, I don’t have proof of untoward intent and apologies to anyone who is offended but I really don’t care whose ox is gored. Forgive my cynicism but I’ll go with my instincts. My focus is strictly about this young man and his family.

Be wary of that brand new moniker asking to be friends and saying they are same age, same MBBS level. The person might be genuine but know that there are more wolves than sheep. To scammers, a 19 year old with 1.2 million sounds like easy bait. Please don’t let your guard down. A common ploy with predators is to try to build “common ground” by drawing similarities between you and them. Just like with romance scams , the person behind that moniker may be worlds different from who you think it is.

I don’t know how a med student can’t spell “like,” comes up with a moniker that sounds like “nefarious” and just had to register a new name to be friends.

post=93626127:
Hi Kingsley2001.
1 am 19 years and also studying MBBS just Kike you.
Please I will like us to be friends, please reach out.
Thanks

post=93626357:
I am in my 3rd year too, what a coincidence.

Kingsley2001:
You couldn't even post this your nonsense with your main account.
Have a good day.

Young man, I like you already for so many reasons. You are smart enough to know you can’t combine the pursuit of a medical degree with street business. You know not to pay mind to PMs, you know to ignore get rich quick schemes. You know your Mom can’t invest the money and you’ve taken charge. Your parents are blessed to have a child like you, so wise beyond your years. Your parents did a great job with you and your siblings. As a parent myself, I can say you are the kind of child a lot of people pray for

The things you have to be careful of are fear and greed. Fear of inflation that could devalue the money, fear of inability to invest profitably and greed that could cause you to risk the money in investments that make questionable claims about returns. Never forget, if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Sometimes, the best thing you can do with money is nothing. Any rush to invest/turnover the money could lead to mistakes that would make it disappear. With the promise of high returns comes the often unstated expectation that you might lose all the money. Don’t gamble with these funds. Don’t invest in anything that would not make you sleep well at night or that would cause you to risk even 1naira loss. I add my voice to those who have advised you move it into an account you and your Mom can control in case you lose access to your Dad’s account.

With regards to land, I’m not sure of your location but know that in most of Nigeria’s big cities, you can’t buy land and leave it “fallow.” If you don’t start to build on the land fairly quickly, chances are high that the seller(s) will resell to someone else even after pocketing your money or someone, somewhere would come and claim that land, seizing it from your possession. I suppose you could fence the land but that’s not 100% defence and fencing would also cost money. Yes, you could go to court to fight it out but that takes money to do and it takes a loooooonnggg time with no guarantee of victory at the end. I would be very careful about investing in land, despite the potential appreciation in value (depends on location). For that budget , it would probably be land in the “interiors,” purchased from omo oniles with the attendant risks and possible future drama.

I would be more inclined to have the money just “safe” for now since your family can manage without it. If things like treasury bills or fixed deposits that safeguard your principal can keep up with inflation, you could consider that. Safeguarding your principal should be your priority right now and it should be with a proper first class bank not mushroom micro banks that can disappear tomorrow. Whatever you decide, I pray it works for you and your family. May God bless and enrich your family and may His face continue to shine upon you all. Well done!

A common reason is to have the same last name as the kids of the union.

Sounds like Nneka made decisions/choices that she regrets. Sad but not exactly earth shattering. The prayer is that we be able to live with our decisions but that does not happen every single time. It is up to each individual to fight for their dreams and make choices that help realize those dreams.

There are women who chose career over kids and have regrets too. Know what you want and go for it. If it does not work, c’est la vie! At least you tried. One choice is not superior to the other. Know what you want and partner with a spouse that shares your vision. No guarantee your decision will validate itself but at least it is what you chose. These things are very much about individual ownership/accountability for your own action or inaction. Personally not impressed with folks who spend years in a situation they hate and then turn around to preach their regrets. 25 years is a loooooooong time to be doing something that’s keeping you from your dreams.

As bukatyne said “anybody that wants to succeed in life must be willing to pay the price.” Nneka decided the price of speaking up about her dreams was too high and chose to go along with her husband’s decision instead. That’s on her, that was her decision and she’s accountable for it.

If there’s anything to be learnt here, then it is fighting for your dreams and choosing the right husband who would support them when the time comes.

FireRain:
Good morning/afternoon ,

I can imagine the fear over there but here in naija, it is business as usual, hunger no allow naijarians to send corona and I think our politicians have turned to an avenue to embezzle so the citizenry just dey with film .

But we will definitely overcome, I am homeschooling the children even If schools resume, I don't trust them to be extra careful, we always believe in blood of Jesus and refuse to face reality.

Love and light to the family ma'am.
@MMotimo

I don’t know why I didn’t get this mention.
I’m glad you are able to homeschool. That’s the best thing to do in the circumstances when you have the option. After God, you can only trust yourself, no point taking avoidable risks. You will have critics, just ignore them. This is “temi ye mi” season.
Those that said “ade gun” are the same ones that come back to say “ade o gun.” Today, it’s kids are not impacted. Tomorrow it’s they are seeing fatalities amongst kids. Who has pikin to use play kalokalo

Sound, commonsense thread!

Other acts are
-expensive photoshoots
-sports betting aka gambling. The house always wins, only a few people get major winnings, the odds are ultimately against the players
-paying for “professional makeupping“ a la Jenifa. Go to Youtube and learn to DIY if you really need to wear that much makeup
- unnecessary upgrading of cellphones and laptops when the current ones still work fine
- buying dead vehicles in the name of “car owner” bottomless pits that gulp large amounts of maintenance money. Better to have no car than to have one that costs more to maintain than it costs to improve the quality of your life
-lack of a budget. In the old days, this wasn’t common in Nigeria but for majority, this is now a necessity
-constantly trying to keep up with the Joneses. . . .

Mancala:
You sir are not cut out for nor equipped for intellectual discourse. "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people" You pivot to attack my person rather than address issues at hand. This much I know. When folks start hurling insults at you rather than addressing the issues at hand, you know their minds are closed/ not capable of reason and there's no point in further engagement. I shall disengage myself as quickly as possible from this situation as I rest assured that savvy folks that laugh at your last post are laughing at you/ your exposed lack of decorum and certainly not laughing with you.

You should just ignore, Sir. That is often the best and only response to some of these Nland “conversations” that are going nowhere.

My condolences.

There’s no mystery to their deaths. How can you say a cancer patient’s death was “sudden” when you already said she had lung cancer and spent weeks in the hospital ? She probably had late stage cancer that was terminal. As for your dad, you can’t say it’s “sudden” if you do not have up to date medical records on the state of his health. He might have had a heart attack or even had liver damage from excessive drinking. There are a lot of possibilities that could have contributed to his demise. Some things are simply science. Don’t let anyone capitalize on your ignorance to extort you.

Use that #120k to get a comprehensive physical checkup for you and your sibling(s) at a teaching hospital. This is one of the tangible ways you can avert certain things - prevention is better than cure. Go and know your full health status so that you can take care of yourselves. Even for diseases like cancer, if the diagnosis is done early enough, a lot of people can survive most cancers so educate yourself and stop listening to charlatans.

The problem is more complicated than getting her to earn an income.

That husband has married a woman that is comfortable with poverty and lack. Women like that do not see a connection between their financial contributions and the family’s wellbeing. The husband is probably going to carry the burden all the days of their matrimony. It does not sound like she has any appreciation nor understanding of the term “financial comfort.” Such women only focus on child bearing and she’s probably not done with that yet so brace yourself for more kids.

You can be lazy and still seek financial comfort by focusing on managing your resources. She’s not interested in contributing income nor managing resources. A woman like that can condemn you to a lifetime of poverty. Even if you start up another business for her, it is unlikely to be successful. You can’t force drive and self love. She’s either born with it or has a desire to develop it.

For the sake of your children, you need to figure out something fast because God forbid something happens to you, they are likely to suffer.

SmileDance:
@MMotimo, misery loves company I want to believe mutiu and his mother have tribal marks too and also want to see to it that innocent girls are also scarred for live. The op should just know that he and his mother will go to jail if they try to disfigure those innocent girls

Wish he could be traced and arrested. Such profound ignorance, coming to post nonsense about something that should be subject to criminal prosecution.

Mutiu, you believe in hocus pocus prophets talking smack about a mother “disturbing “her own offspring and it has not occurred to you that in the hocus pocus world, those twins can see to it that your own life does not amount to anything for being part of this evil conspiracy?

Mutiu, you are toying with ejire? Playing with fire ehn? And despite the way you are thinking and talking, you don’t realize that someone is “disturbing “ you already? You think this your kati kati talk is normal? You should go and do your own tribal marks first to fight the person that is disturbing you to be thinking and talking like this.

Prophecy ko, tribal marks ni! Small time, the prophet would declare the girls are witches. In 2020, you want to disfigure beautiful twin girls because of foolish prophecies. God punish poverty! The Dad should have organized map-sized tribal marks for all of you to get a taste of your own medicine.

“You can kill this man” you apparently, have even more criminal tendencies.

Everyday?
Na man your wife be!

LOL too busy for date night and romance but ever ready for sex

Sweetness4

Bibi ire o se fi owo ra meaning you can’t buy good breeding.
OP, your breeding speaks for you. No awoof tendency ? Wow! Please, when it comes to marriage, choose wisely. Do not settle for panda, choose a quality, correct man to match you. Don’t marry anyhow man o! You deserve better.

Gentlemen, this is one of the good ones. If you are in the market for a serious relationship and you are a quality man yourself, you should explore this opportunity. If I were male, single and searching, I would shoot my shot even if it means snatching her from someone else

Happy selling, no hate but cry the beloved country!
1.75MM for a 13 year old Rav4 smh

As long as there is life, there is hope
Miracles still happen, don’t stop praying
There is always a reason to thank God. Your situation is temporary. A person battling terminal illness would trade places with you.

When it comes to marriage, choose carefully; quality matters. At the minimum, marry someone that genuinely likes you and is interested in your wellbeing. That person will have a lasting impact on your future, good or bad.
Do not expect your partner to “get better” so make sure whatever you “manage” in courtship is something you would tolerate in marriage.
Be ambitious but embrace contentment, your days will be happier and you will be less bitter.
Never try to keep up with the Joneses and never consider yourself better than anyone, you’ll go farther with a humble nature.