₦airaland Forum

25 THINGS I LEARNT FROM 1000's of TBJ's
PROPHESIES THAT SOLVED
PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS:
1. Most people's problem start when they visit a witch doctor. The moment you visit a native
doctor, its like when you join a
cult - you are destroyed.
2. 99 percent of barreness is
caused by spirit-husbands or
wives of either spouse comming
nightly to make love to them.
3. Giving offers us a chance to
change our desitiny.
4. Evil spirits are like parasites,
their food is pain and
dissapointments on their host
with eventual death.
But unlike parasites they can
control their hosts.
5. Eating in the dream is evil.
Thats how most people are
poisoned.
6. Most problems are caused by
evil spirits.
7. Not All can do deliverance.
Some are pastors, some are
councellors, some are
evangelists, few , very few are
prophets.
8. When an entire family stops
progressing, or starts dying, its
usually caused by an evil spirit
living in one of them.
9. Jesus forgives any sin and
accepts anyone even those who previously rejected him!
10. Miracles, prophesies and
deliverances are real and
verifiable.
11. People dont just die suddely. They see it in their dreams first!
12. When a mob kills an armed robber the evil spirit living in the robber jumps into one of the killers! This explains why crime wont stop.
Best option is to get the person delivered.
13. Their is difference between saying words and praying prayer.
14. If a pastor who isnt empowered with the gift of deliverance tries to deliver a possessed person, the evil spirit usually leaves its host and jumps into the pastor!
15. The world happens first in heaven days, months or years earlier!
16. Everyone has spare parts, where damaged organs have a replacement!
17. Swearing with the bible could be disastrous.
18. Holyghost fire is real! Its a powerful tool for deliverance.
Another strong tool for deliverance is commanding the evil spirit to leave its host in the name of Jesus.
19. Bad character just like evil spirit can be made to leave a person.
20. Evil spirits almost always cause ailments to their host that are detectable by doctors. Eg. bosom cancer, brain tumor, heart disease etc.
When they are driven out the ailments and their pain disapear automatically!
21. The power of God sometimes looks like lightning mixed with thunder.
22. The power of real-time prophesy is like a source of light beaming from the eye of the prophet.
23. Dates are important in life. If you survive an accident this month, its likely to return this time next year if nothing is done.
24. Most peoples problem start when mushroom/amature pastors came to destroy their family idols without successfully destroying the inbuilt evil spirit!
25. Dont mind critics, but take corrections and improve from their accusations.

THINGS I LEARNT FROM TBJ PROPHESIES THAT SOLVED PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS:
1. The moment you visit a native doctor, its like when you join a cult - you are destroyed.
2. 99 percent of barreness is caused by spirit-husbands or wives of either spouse comming nightly to make love to them.
3. Giving offers us a chance to change our desitiny.
4. Evil spirits are like parasites, their food is pain and dissapointments on their host with eventual death.
But unlike parasites they can control their hosts.
5. Eating in the dream is evil. Thats how most people are poisoned.
6. Most problems are caused by evil spirits.
7. Not All can do deliverance. Some are pastors, some are councellors, some are evangelists, few , very few are prophets.
8. When an entire family stops progressing, or starts dying, its usually caused by an evil spirit living in one of them.
9. Jesus forgives any sin and accepts anyone!
10. Miracles, prophesies and deliverances are real and verifiable.

google is here to plunder.
But just as google plus will fail , almost all there products will fail.
Gnbo is number 1.
Because clients now know that a free domain is an insult.
But will google trader fail? Me nah think so.
For your information google is challenging nigerian news papers ! Check news.google.com.ng . Its just unbelievable what those slave masters believe.
They cant invent anything, because they dont fully understand the nigerian market, and they cant make naija webmaster their manager. All they can do is copy working nigerian models and try to stamp out the original inventors, then introduce google adwords, adsense bla bla bla .

@OP
SMF has an inbuilt mobile version.
Enable it.
I've fogotten the exact place to do that in the settings.
Its been over 3 years i used it last.

8 out of the first ten list are yoruba.
The second ten has 8 housas.
Nice.
No igbos.
NIGERIA'S TOP FIVE
1. SSS's imaginary mama nur.
2. The real boko haram spokes man.
3. The last frustrated batch of boko haram bombers that have resorted to rubbing banks.
4. Bankole(name deleted)
5. Tinubu (name deleted)
6. OBJ (mission impossible)

$200

nigerian computer science lecturers are the cause of CS students graduating as cyber cafe attendants.
Checkout list of courses for the semester:
1. Fotran
2. Cobol
3. QBasic
4. C
before you see
5. VB 6
now tell me, which of these courses are applicable in the real world?

Things are happening with oracle, php, python, vb.net, asp.net, c#.net.
Common, html5, qt, small talk, ajax name it.

dustydee:
After all Jesus dined with thieves and tax collectors. If pastors don't "associate" with "sinners" who will?

TB Joshua invited about ten thousand lame, blind beggers from all accross nigeria in an all expense paid trip.
Dined with them, gave education and scholarships. Each went home with a bag of rice!
TBJ himsele helped the 3 thousand ushers offload the rice from the trailers!
Which of this private jet pastors will drop pride and do it.
And he is about to do it again this christmas!
I think, that man is the best pastor i ever seen.
An icon of christianity.
I have learnt a lot from him.

no government has successfully curbed terrorism.
Bombs still go off in iraq after 10 yrs of US presence.

The islamistism is simply incurable.
'nigerians dont worry, terrorism .happens everywhere'

jude33084:
If naija police advise u to settle,, thats when u run.

How can d police Force quick to annuonce dat it was a cylinda xplosion and nt bomb? the 1st naija suicide bomber interviewed by buko haram, was it nt cylinda bomb he used?

I am sure d guy is their member.

most improvised explosive devices are made with gas cylinders, a celphone and a carbide.

Hoodrat:
Silly president, Fix the electricity problem and that murry toilet muhamed bus port or werrin una call am. Nigeria should rise up in arms and stop these old fools they are upto no good.

norweian fool.

ABUJA
is the federal capital territory of the federal republic of Nigeria.
Not a place for misguided protests.
Soldiers have the mandate to quel any movement that could degenerate to unrest in the FCT.

jain, tratel, bonatel, frain, sokanet. . .
am trying to predict airtel's next name, because that company will fail soon.
. . .
Meltel, landtel, seatel, portel , etctel. . .

in my school its N3500 for an E!
Or you walk ourra ma affice!

i am the MODERATORR

@fayimora marginalised *dhtml so am not voting.
After the voting we go mob youth copers!
Sai *dhtml.

@OP
in nigeria
we dont expect our women to have 'equal rights' with us.
We are the CEO
no co-founder thing.
Only on that establishment can we trully serve, love and kill for u.
So if you you are carrying that US women rights thing in your brain, all your relationships will fail or end in a yahoo+ (you know how we do')
also note that muslims and traditionalist have polygamous tendencies.
Depends on what you want.
welcome to NIGERIA.
at least for one thing, learn pidgeon english its so easy.
I've seen french ladies speaking it.
Also when you are here blend in, dont form anything.(we know US as much as you do).
Our legal and policing systems are a confused duo. So when you get your car bashed get ready for royal rumble there and then at the middle of the road!
Traffic will patiently wait.
Your neighbours want to know how you are doing.
They care.
So dont wake up and hit the roads upfront, its arrogant.
Raise your voice and greet the neighbours you see.
In yoruba land you may be required to genuflect for a seniour person.
In housa land, you may have to sit on the floor while the boss enjoys the throne.
In igbo land . . . We dont fuckingg give a hoot who the hell rules.
Just that people wont help if you dont greet first.

sir! Marine already standing sir!
Awaiting futher instructions sir!

if all the men in the world marry all the men in the world,
women will find a way of winning wars, conquer all the men, enslave them and force the men to marry them.

hollandis:
It is beyond Homo,we are talking about freedom of expression

if the president of nigeria, GCFR , commander in chief of the federal republic, primus interpares nigeria 001  decides to take the most beautiful dog in ota farm as his second wife, wont that be 'freedom of expression' in your fowl thinking?
Or imagine that jonathan decides to marry david mark!
What a shame it will be.
We still have minds, america is loosing theirs.

currently (for more than 3 months now)
we havd over 18hrs power supply daily in enugu.

that title shows moderator here is too biased.
I am the only true moderatorr!
I would have had the topic as
THE EVER-FRIENDLY DEVIL JUST EXPOSED MORE DETAILS ON HIS AGREEMENT WITH DEALER NDUME to help ndume reap more fruits from the other side of the agreement!

frankcimc:
Right! since what we have at this point is not yielding desired result why don't we give a state police a try by giving them limited power and try to checkmate them every now and then until they are matured fully rather than wallow in our old ways.

if this is how you run your business i bet you are going bankrupt ASAP!

now,
guys imagine that ohakim was in full control of imo state police during the april elections!
Do the connection in your brain and guess where Rochas would be now!?

just ate two ice cold apples now, so am bera tempered.
Ok.
My point is this is a federal government website you are attacking.
In obasanjo's regime, you could be arrested or exiled, ask eedris abdulkareem.
If anything were to save you it would be that the one you did was undeniably perfect/better.
Now with that in mind. Go back and redesign.
Do the design first, then the coding.
Remember these words while in the design.
Simple. Elegant . Robust and powerful.
I mean a simple white and blue like facebook would have been better than a longsized banner image.
Checkout the US website.
After the design you can then go into the coding.
I am attacking you because you first attacked the original one then came out with something impefect.

*dhtml:
^^^All of you great developers talking, please answer the above questions along with your review.

you and 39 others designed otutu kpataki commot after 3 months and you are calling it PROTOTYPE.
going by your definition the original fed govt website is also a PROTOTYPE(otutu kpataki).

i must confess, if he was trully what he was painted to be then this is a shit magistrate court.
But its obvious he is not connected to the real bombko haram, since the guys are still bombing.

moremi2008:
The real tragedy here is that we never see comments this vitriolic about Nigeria's corrupt and inept politicians. Nigerians and their misplaced priorities!

blind mumu (double impact).
Checkout the politcs section.
Gay Bleep retarrd.

just do the protest at abuja a handsome reward awaits you.

*police proper arrangement plus 5 years in custody awaiting trial , plus actual 9 years for offence . No need to add 'with hard labour' because their is no soft labour option.*

the problem i still have is getting my soldiers to use their own initiative instead of always depending on mine.

HALL OF FAME:
GEJ - for improving electricity supply
- for boldly attacking and in the process of dismantly our oil reserves cabals
- for listening to public opinions and replying misconceptions maturly
- for getting a constantly updated facebook page!
- for breaking the northern born to rule spell.
- for ensuring true democracy, where everyone can say their minds(and even insult the GCFR) without fear of being arrested.
- for sticking to the stick and carrot method of solving the boko haram in the face of endless assault of enemy propaganda and libel.
- for winning the biafran war.
HALL OF SHAME:
chinua achebe - for teaching english abroad and insulting the intelligence of fellow men who stayed behind to change his country.
Ndume - for boko haram of course.
Gen buhari - for opting to enrol elections in 2015 again!