₦airaland Forum

INTROVERT:
So the question is...


Is BOKO HARAM increasing or reducing?

Medunah:
OK, congrats

Pidggin:
Stop praising yourself, I have never heard of you until today.

CUM4WHAT:
NONSENSE reetarded oldfool named mrcork praising his broke dlck.... *spits*

halfrica:

B
Using style to callme stupidddd nd dumb ok

M i ur crush?

markmira:
Am a pain in the ass.i have this fuuuckt up habit sometyms i insult and humiliate my gf 4 no reason.she v forgiven me tyms without number but i keep on doing it.plz i nee d advice i tink am a psycho.this same issue spoilt most of my relationship in d past after the lady must have forgiven me tyms without number.

shizzy7:
Okay,,,God will help you out..
How was your night??
And sorry to ask but how old are you??

..are u sayn Halfrica is dump & stewwwpid?...how dare u say to her * how old are u?

...... why are u dissin her for?...u jelos no guy pays u atensiion on nairaland? eddiot gyal!!

halfrica:
u are foolish who is fat

Onyeka32:
Moments after Real Madrid Football Club won their 10th UEFA Champions League trophy in 2014, the global audience and thousands of football fans at the Stadium of Light in Lisbon were taken by surprise when Cristiano Ronaldo abandoned the team's celebration and ran to a section of the stand to pull out a man from the crowd and hug him affectionately.
The action was a public confession by Ronaldo to honour his childhood clubmate who 'sacrificed himself’ and allowed the Portuguese star to become a global icon today.
Ronaldo said in an interview he granted some years ago that he and his friend were vying for a spot in an academy of Andorinha in Funchal, Madeira.
“I have to thank my old friend Albert Fantrau for my success. We played together for the same team in the U-18 championship. When a scout came to see us he said that “Whoever scores more goals will come into our academy.”
“We won that match 3-0. I scored the first goal then Albert scored the second with a great header. But the third goal was impressive for all of us.
Albert was one-on-one against the goalkeeper, he rounded the goalkeeper and I was running in front of him.
“All he had to do was to score that goal but he passed it to me and I scored the third goal, so I got that spot and went to the academy.
“After the match I went to him and asked him why? Albert said that “Because you (Ronaldo) are better than me.”
Journalists then went to Albert’s house and asked him if it was a true story. He said yes.
He also said that his career as a player after the match ended and now is unemployed.
“But how did you build this house so great, you have a car? You seem like a rich man. You also able keep your family. From where did this come from? ‘
Albert more proudly replied: “It is from Ronaldo!”
This explains why Ronaldo had to single him out of the crowd to share in his celebration

firstEVA:
And that gentlemen is a handsome guy.

halfrica:
all d rice o
Except special fried rice
Anytin special nd free for food na podging be dat
Food poisoning

coconut rice is my favorite mrcork u see we dont av bleached rice here gerrahai mehn!

prettythicksme:
Romantic!

prettythicksme:
Dem black dieeee but we r light skinned cc:mrcork

bushdoc9919:
I fully assure you, we do not do it for titilatory purposes.

We put our hands down there primarily to measure the cervical dilatation rate....so that if the cervix is not dilating fast enough.....we know we have to intervene either medically (oxytocin ) or surgically.

Either way we save your partner's life.

Part of active management of labour.

(And yes....we do not feel any ''funny'' feelings....especially when you are feeling tired from monitoring seven labouring women at once....and when you feel stressed from all the additional paperwork you have to fill up.).

Midehi:
Guys, can you be bold to enter and see the drama and God's work in a labour room, can you go in there with your wife?


Pls, say your mind and be truthful about it.

Ladies, how will you feel if your man should be with you in labour room..

halfrica:
9.99/10

i need a lot to be impressed apparently 0.1 is a big deal

sketcherJ:
Five Funny ways on how to get attended to fast/jump queue legally in a bank

In Nigeria today,most of the banks we have are very slow in their service,customers would have to wait on the queue for many minutes before they could be attended to.


Now I have devised five funny ways in which you can get answered to on time,believe me,noone would fight or argue with you when the bank cashiers are attending to you ,even if you are the last person on the queue..let's get to it already..

1.Get a Baby!!(lol,not for men though)yea,I am not telling you girls to go and get pregnant oo...just carry the baby of ur neighbour(tell d mother you are going to d bank !!don't let them lynch you ooo!!)when you get inside the bank,fill ur teller,go on the queue and pinch d good baby,when the cry of the baby rings the air..everybody on the teller would be pleading with the cashier to attend to you,(don't forget to buy biscuits for the cool baby oo)

2.Fall down and Faint!!(yes..men this is where you come in..its simple,stay on the queue and just fall down and close your eyes!!and make it some 2 minutes before you open your eyesviola!!you are a celebrity!!anytime you enter the bank,you will be answered to immediately (just pray your neighbour, abi your gf/bf no dey in the bank that day you fall oo)

3.ACT CRAZY LIKE TERRY G..if you don't know how to craze..abeg don't use weed oo..just take dry pepper with you and put it in ur bums..am telling you the craze that will be emanating from you will make headlines...(Lol)

4.Blow Grammars out of proportion: You don't need a dictionary, just go to Patrick Obahiagbon's social media handles,You will find your tools there..When you enter the bank, cooly fill your tellers, nope don't stay on the queue, just walk straight to the cashier....and BLOW YOUR GRAMMARS.


http://fresh-folks-ville..com/2015/08/five-funny-ways-on-how-to-get-attended.html?m=1

Misskeffas:
you are an idoit for calling me a goat,stvpid boy,u shld be ashame of ur pitiable self,londoner indeed!see as am cowing under the table,low life id.oit,what if u are even in london?are u d first londoner? There are some people in london who cnt even measure up to standard.... Sh..,.it!

NegeduGrace:
This timaya self,,some girls sha

Misskeffas:
you are an idoit for calling me a goat,stvpid boy,u shld be ashame of ur pitiable self,londoner indeed!see as am cowing under the table,low life id.oit,what if u are even in london?are u d first londoner? There are some people in london who cnt even measure up to standard.... Sh..,.it!

Maamin:
Really! how does it taste?

Maamin:
For how long have u been in the punny eating game?

halfrica:
u amuse me alot
Abeg we av fought enof o
Why dont we become
Frenemies
let me propose kneels down on both kneels
Now pop d kwension

Mrcork will u be my frenemies?

Misskeffas:
who is this loud mouth?i dnt remember asking were you are from..so what now?

halfrica:
I dont kno too
Mayb cos we actually dont give a fucccck

Misskeffas:
There has been this hue and cry by women about men non chalant and uncaring attitude toward their spouses..

Now who is a responsible man? Is being responsible limited to catering for her financial needs or got more to do with care in every angle of the affair??

Barayeks:
ARE YOU A #FEMINIST ?

Do you believe in the complete equality of males and females? Well if yes...thats just awesome..you can keep reading...this writeUp is for you.

Why is it that the issue of gender equality only comes up when its time for promotion and the female feels her boss is favouring her male collegues over her.... Or when its time for political appointment...a group of women gather to chant "we no go gree...we want a female this and that"... They make it seem having a job is the only thing entailed in 'being a man'....I have absolutely no problem with feminists....I just have a problem with the fact that they are selective about when to apply the 'equality'...I'm sure we all know this common saying "my money is money and your money is our money".

You cant drink your Akamu and still have it....if you want #genderEquality you have to take the whole thing... If you want to hypen your surname after marriage and answer half your fathers surname and half your husband's surname...no problem.....just make sure you take care of half the total cost of the wedding...including bride price...( sry is it price or prize :/)...thats gender equality...half the house rent...half the childrens school fees and allowances...thats gender equality...be ready to do some heavy lifting in the house whenever new appliances are aquired....since the genders are equal..... If you cant do allll these things....then you have to agree that both genders arent equal....God put the man as the head of the house....to love and provide.... and the bible says a wife should be submissive....not rubbing shoulders with her husband talking Gender Equality #instagood

prettytasha:
This actually got me laughing

Tomfrench:
i think the pepper spray is actually for people like you