₦airaland Forum

Love Machine:
Na una lie pass.You lie to any new bf that you are a virgin,even though you are a pro in the game.

Bros why you just carry the babe from ground na?

Samfigo1:
Hi Nlanderz, I am in a serious dilemma now, I wouldn't know the next step to take.
If you remember I created a topic towards the tail of last year, if you missed the topic this is the link below:

https://www.nairaland.com/2825210/see-question-asked-made-angry#41372122

I shouldn't have brought this up but I am painstakingly seeking the idea to use in coming out of this dilemma of mine.
To be frank, she came back on the 8th day of this month which happened to be Friday, before this time we had some discussions which led to her leaving my place angrily and since then no "intimacy" what do I mean? no calls, no text not even flashing!
I was on Friday sitting at the veranda of my house, fumbling with my phone, when I looked from afar off and saw a lady coming towards the direction of house. When she drew close, lo and behold she was my girl, we exchanged pleasantries before I took her to my room and then she started her story thus:

I am sorry to have left your room angrily the other day( I just nodded my head), the question was shocking I was not expecting it. Truly I had been pregnant which led to the only abortion I had in the past(she busted into tears, I tried to pet her before she continued).I was 17 when armed robbers came to our house on a fateful day and I was raped, I never knew it would lead to pregnancy until after a month plus that I started noticing some changes which led to me seeing a doctor and it was confirmed that I was pregnant. I had no choice that to abort it(sobbing).

I was dumbfounded, I was looking like someone who just missed a flight. The point is this, I have no problem accepting her back but why did she wait for two weeks before narrating this? Was she taught of what to say? Could this be a cooked up story? Can I ask any of her family members about the incident?
These and many more questions left me dumbfounded. Should I go on with the questions or bury the hatchet? I need mature pieces of advice!

How come she got angry in the first place when you asked her the question? And now,she came willingly to confess.

I believe she's still a kid and don't know how to lie. (don't treat her in a bad way though)

OP when next you see her, just tell her that you knew she lied about the rape stuff but you just have to believe her so she can feel Okay.

Trust me, she will be shocked and would truly open up to you.

Una two self?

Funny set of peeps

I believe she's still trying to grow up.


With the way she twit, I have a feeling she has a bad temper and bad character as well.

Mind you, that guy has a serious babe somewhere you don't expect to take her place within weeks. Something she's been building almost all her life.

Your twitter display represents your bad character and a bad character is like a flat tyre you can't go anywhere with it.

ElDaIllest:
American p0rnogr@phic film actress Lisa Sparks set a new world record for having s£x with the most men in a single day during the annual World Bleep Championship in Warsaw, Poland on October 16, 2004.



Sparxxx competed against two other women one of which was the former world record holder who had s£x with 759 men in a day.





According to her:
“The record is 919. It was set in ’04 in Poland. I had a blast… a little sore for a few weeks but I had fun. It was kind of like an out of body experience to be able to finish without stopping. The event was suppose to take place at an adult convention. However the Polish government wanted nothing to do with it. So it was a fun cat and mouse chase.
I was a little nervous checking in at the airport, going through customs. I figured the Polish Government would catch up with us there. However nothing happened and I was more than happy to be on a plane for a 13 hour flight back home.”



She achieved this record by having s£x with 919 men over a period of 24 hours.

On the day Lisa Sparks won the competition by only 21 men

She needs to be probe

Bossforeva:
Testimony Time: How I Escaped Drowning In Mpoto River, In Awka Anambra State

.On a faithful Sunday, my day began like every other Sunday, when I returned from the usual Sunday church service, my phone rang and it was an invitation to a meeting in Anaocha local government area of Anambra state.

My friend Chigozie Umeh and I set out for the journey at about 3pm. As we drove through Amawbia – Nise exit road of Awka to Agulu, we noticed a slight drizzling of rain which never seemed like anything serious… We barely noticed it and drove further down the road. However, we later observed a clumsy on the windscreen which made driving a bit difficult, giving us the first impression that the rain was actually beyond mere drizzling thereby making us turn on the wiper for the first time. As we drove far-off the capital city, the rain intensified but wasn’t anything comparable to a downpour; by the time we got to Anaocha (Adazi Nnukwu precisely), it was already around 6pm and we joined the meeting which lasted for hours within closed doors. We had no idea what was happening outside because the windows and doors of the hall were neither open. The meeting ended at about 8:30pm and we again set out to return to Awka that night. It started as a smooth journey as we drove through the newly constructed roads connecting Adazi, through Agulu Lake down to Nise. We barely met any vehicle yet we had to drive on limited speed knowing full well it had rained and the roads were wet. Just few distance after the St Paul’s College Nise (before the Mpoto River), we saw a long queue of traffic; we immediately reversed expecting an uncertainty but having parked and observed a while, it seemed to us neither a robbery incident nor accident scene. Again, we reversed and parked behind the queue then alighted and walked down the road to see for ourselves what a scene it was.

Nevertheless, to our bewilderment, it was as wild as a beast; I had never seen a thing like that but on television. The road had been divided and Awka (our homes) had been cut-off. It stretched for about some kilometers as we could see another queue and terrified crowd on the other end as they made exit from Awka.

We thought River Niger or Agulu Lake had lost its bank and may be swallowing everything it came in contact with but it took us some time to learn it was only a flood from the rain we barely saw as serious. Further down into the center of the flood was an 18 passenger bus belonging to the Eastern Mass Transport Company loaded to full capacity, it was not easy ascertaining where the noise was coming from as the flood roared like a hungry beast but yet an outcry from the bus whose passengers were shouting in different languages and praying to any available god/God, in total submission to the control of the waves.

After a while some rescue volunteers swam through the flood and saved the bus which was almost being pulled into the gully on one side of the road.

After the rescue operation, I saw some people who dismounted the bus trembling with tears running down their faces and we took out time to sympathize with them, as the night got deeper, a motorcyclist on the other side of the road who had been waiting alongside others certainly jumped on his bike, Kick-started it and defied all plea by the crowd not to go into the flood, but few distance towards the center, he lost control of the bike and the flood swept him and his bike into the dungeon; Now that was another terrifying experience for most of us. We waited at both ends like the Isrealites waiting for the Moses to divide the sea…

Now it seems like an opportunity, the flood has reduced and some big vehicles had began crossing. A check on the time revealed it was already 11:30pm and it was forest on both side of the road, we we fetched some courage and headed on, first was myself on Range Rover Sport and Chigozie was to come over with the small car; I closed my eyes to the windows because it was of little difference with sailing on Bonny River in River state, the worst became of me as the car broke down in the middle of the high velocity flood leaving my hope of leaving a life on the other side shattered.

Now, it is my turn to pray, I prayed and sang but only a little courage was gained; I opened the door and tried stepping out of the car, but the force of the flood neither allowed my leg to touch the ground. I hurried back into the vehicle filled with thought and anxiety… I only knew I was to try something brave, I later summoned courage, held the vehicle tight and emptied my legs into the flood and with the help of some volunteers who rushed to my help and the person driving the vehicle, we were able to roll the vehicle back, out of the flood.

Back to base, we remained in shock and trapped like refugees till about 12am when the flood subsided and we then made a way through. That indeed was a breakthrough as we had a relief hoping to be home soon, at least reunite with family and loved ones who were already sleepless with the news brokered to them through phone calls.

Unfortunately, few drive away from the flood scene, was another scene but this time not a flood incident but lumps of sand (mud) washed down from the hill on the left thereby making the road almost impassable, there were some vehicle already stocked therein so we had to join another queue… Moments after, the road was clear and all other vehicles had left but only God knows what. Our vehicle had absorbed water and could not start any more, it was about 12:30am and this time, it was only Chigozie and I on the lonely dark road and all what we hear was sound of running water from all conners of the road. We spent about 30 minutes working on the car and finally, it came up. We hurriedly made our way home; it had remained a trauma till recently when I doused it off.

http://starttells.com/2016/01/09/how-i-escaped-drowning-in-mpoto-river-in-awka-anambra-state/

Your time is far from near.

Wish you longer years ahead.

Love my skin like this

Kelklein:
Man was told to solve this moral Dilemma in a Job Interview. His answer is genius.


Question:

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus.

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect woman (or) man you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?




Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as a part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.


The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. I love this. I might actually use it sometimes for an interview situation.

He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the old lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dream".

Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box"

cc: lalasticlala

That's the exact answer. I came across something like this during my secondary school days.

Thanks for the trow back.

sonofananimal:
true!

You will be CHEATING and still be telling your distance guy that you love him!

And the way WOMEN behave like parasite nowadays is not something to talk about.

I guess that guy see her as a parasite and she is not making him believe that she is not a parasite

She should try and make him believe in her

How come thetrailer accident we see in movies are always different?

nuelzy:
did u know fanta use to have different flavours like...

"GINGER ALE" and "TONIC WATER" ??

well...there is this room my dad neva opened since i was a kid...out of fear dat d room myt contain hideous stuffs..i forced my dad to open it dis xmas...he did..


bt den d room only contained alot of his old stuffs...his #450 yahama Generator...his olden days boxes..clothes..shoes and alot of old stuffs i neva knew dey existed that he bought at ridiculous prices ... well these fanta bottles caught my attention..neva knew fanta use to be like that...

well..


did anyone here taste those flavours...??

hw did it taste..?? xpecially d ginger ale..




"...Ahem!! if u tasted dis drink and u are still claiming 18..ur case is worst dan Ebola"

Fanta has always been a hit back to back.

Is she a social media customer service agent?

Adonis3:
Does she bring friends along while coming for dates? Then you should try what I did, and trust me it works like f#*k.

My girlfriend had this habit of bringing her friend along while going out with me. Trust me it was annoying, as you would end up spending far more than you budgeted.

When she started it, she was like "Brenda is my very close friends, we do everything together even go out together. In short, people think we're sisters", in my mind, I was like "omo leave trash for lawma jare, na you and Brenda I ask out?" But I just had to comport myself and pretend like isnuttin.

This habit persisted for a while and I realised it wasn't going to end soon (of course, it made us go out less frequently but there are sometimes you just feel like hanging out with bae).

Then I devised a means to put a stop to the lawma trash, as a sharp warfi guy. That fateful day, I had something to do around yaba, so when I was done I called her to join me so we could go see a movie at ozone. As usual, she came with Brenda.

When we got there, I bought the smaller bag of popcorn for her while I bought the bigger one for me and brenda to share.lol. She gave me one kind look, but I guess she overlooked it. Then we entered the cinema, I had to sit close to Brenda since we were sharing popcorn, trust me, I deliberately chose not to sit between them as she expected. Instead, Brenda sat between us.

All through the movie, me and Brenda were gisting, laughing, making silly comments while still dragging over the popcorn playfully. I didn't even send my babe, tho I could see that she was most uncomfortable and jealous. You know when somebody is trying so hard not to focus on you, she was facing the screen but I could see that she wasn't concentrating. Confirm! Shebi na u sabi do pass.

We sha watched the movie finish, I asked my girl about it, she gave a forced smile and answered "fine". I didn't want to overdo things, so I went back to her company, held her hands while walking. As we were stepping out of the cinema, it was then I remembered I didn't have Brenda's no (it was deliberate), so I asked Brenda for it and of course, she gave me.








Trust me, that was the last time I ever set my eyes on Brenda again ooo I don't even know how her no miraculously got deleted from my phone



My guiyz


Cc: lalasticlala roctation farano

Guy i like your style.

Very mature.

dupsil:
Ohk guys, i would try to make this short and simple. Forgive any grammatical blunder i might make though. thanks
So this is my story, am studying a 5yrs course in the Uni and am in my finals,throughout the previous years i wasnt in a relationship, i was so engrossed with school works so i could graduate with with a good G.P, I pratically didnt have time for myself. it got to a stage that my friends started pressuring me to get a boyfriend, not like i didnt have people who wanted to date me, i just wasnt ready nor interested.
After 400l, during the session break, i was on IT and met this guy where i was working,he was working at the company too as a permanent staff though. he was so nice to me and made me feel special and loved, we saw virtually every day, sometimes after work he would drop me at home and even became friends with my siblings. he asked me out and i agreed to date him, things was going smoothly bt then i had to go back to school.
After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude he would say he was just busy with work and apologise bt didnt change. when i saw that he didnt change, i decided not to call him, chat him or even message and see how long it was going to last. for a whole week he didnt call and i had to call him wen i cud no longer take it. he wasnt even remorseful, just said he's bin busy and am wondering how could you be so busy and nt check on someone u claim you really care about, i asked him if he wanted a breakup bt he said no dat he cared abt me and wud change but he still hasnt. am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do. have never asked for money from him and he's never given me anytin so i kip wondering wat i did wrong, we never had sex too. please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didnt even last 4month

He might be thinking different.

Different as in you have another boo in school.

Invite him over and see the difference after the visit.

That will make him stand firm and his position will then be visible in his head.

Guys find it hard to trust girls in distant relationship these days because of what they must have gone through.

My opinion though.

OGGS2000:
my wife of fifteen years left me in Lagos to work for her ex boy friend in the east. It all started one evening she got a call that she should come to take a job at the state capital. She asked me if she can go I said if you want. She did not tell me the relationship she has with the caller she said its from someone she gave her CV. She asked me to book flight for her because she will go in the morning and I did. Two days later she called that I should book flight for her to come back and I did. A day later she called that they called that she should come and resume the next day, I made another flight booking for her. When I travelled for Christmas holiday I saw she was very happy but was surprised to hear that she was paid only forty thousand naira as her salary for the month. Last year when I moved to Lagos from where we were she left a job that pays her two hundred thousand naira plus car and driver on the reason that the family should stay tougher. This got me thinking that there must be other reason for the relocation. I got a call yesterday and I was asked why I left my wife to and work for her Politian ex boyfriend if am tired of the marriage. I called her to know the relationship she has with the man that gave her work she confirmed he is her ex boyfriend. I told her she can not marry two men at a time. she has chosen to be mistress to a politician she should pack out of my house.
She is begging that I should forgive her. my problem now is if she can do this when I can pay my bills comfortably, what will she do if situation changes tomorrow.

With all due respect sir, you allowed her because of the love and trust you have for her.

Women are very unpredictable. I believe nothing has gone wrong call her to order and talk with her. But that doesn't mean she should continue with the job. Set up a business for her.


My little advice though.

godoluwa:
A fowl on Friday around Konwea Plaza in Asaba, Delta State allegedly pecked a buyer to coma, leaving the crowd who had thronged the scene to catch a glimpse of the incident to scamper for safety.

It was gathered that a big broiler on sale with others by the plaza, pecked the buyer identified as Sunday Ibie on his eyes.

The customer, who had wanted to buy the chicken, immediately fell to the ground breathing heavily before he was rushed to the Federal Medical Centre, Asaba.


Source

http://www.punchng.com/chicken-pecks-buyer-to-coma-in-asaba/

End time chicken

My brother the devil is trying to mess with your bank account.


You're falling in love in December


Hmmmmmmmmmmm

showlaw:
brother your just justifying this case, they giving out near quality for cheaper price if you cant get a benz you get a toyota its that simple!!
not a fan tho but them dey try abeg like the phantom 5 has 3gb ram a samsung s5 isnt up to that

Yea I'm not disputing the fact that they are trying.

Kudos to them.

Merry Christmas and Happy new year in advance.

ollah1:
A mad man tweeted about Phantom 5 being the best phone and Tecno being the number one phone company in Nigeria. Another man on twitter agreed with him do that automatically means it's true right??

Ok. A brand new mad man creates the thread and a super mad man(MOD) pushes it to the front page

Funny guy

The cost of one Samsung phone , covers 5 tecno phone.

So, what are we talking about?
Same goes with Mercedes-Benz vs Toyota
The price of one brand new 4matic (saloon) 2015 covers
Four brand new Toyota corolla.

Because tecno is almost everywhere doesn't mean it makes more money than Samsung.

I'm a Sony Xperia user though.

The price of my Sony Xperia Z3 can afford three tecno phone being sold for 45K.

shaddi:
I just got this message this morning from this number asking me to call, when i called the man who picked ask me to send him my BVN number and some other sensitive information. To cut the long story short, I lost my Atm card and I applied for a new one which hasn't come yet so I wonder.... PLEAE BEWARE OF THIS METHOD.

Customer care doesn't have a particular person on stand by let alone Mr John Edward

I knew uni abuja was going to be among.



Oh my my my!!!!!!

Thank God I'm done with them.
E no easy to go through uni abuja.
If you can succeed and survive in uni abuja, then you can work and survive anywhere.

oganamaster:
Hello Peeps,

I have this problem That Needs urgent advice, I Have been having sex with a very Pretty married lady. It all started since 2010 and this has gone unnoticed For a very long while now, I Want to stop But don't know how to Stop. Pls responsible responses only.

What goes around, comes around.
Your wife to be is at stake. No be curse oh na blessing.

libertyfather:
You dey mind dem, but hin pass 1500, nah 3k

Op no say the shoe na one million naira. Na the shiny shiny thing wey Dem take round am na e be one million in number. For their mind we dey see the shiny shiny things like gold.

That was what he wore to the pitch

queenfav:
My joy knew no bounds when my landlord's wife called a lawyer she once worked with to get me an interview appointment with his firm. Despite my tiredness after the POP ceremony, I managed to wake up early to get there by 8.am. My hopes were high with the possibility of getting a job barely 24hrs after POP. That's how I waited till 10.am o, before the man showed up. He ushered me into his office, and the interview began.

First off, I pride myself as a lady who dresses decently both for corporate and for casual occasions. So, this wasn't a case of immoral dressing on my part. That's how the managing partner interviewing me started looking at me to the point of me wondering if something was amiss. The next thing he said was, "you look really smart, and pretty. I like you already counsel."I just mumbled "thank you Sir". As a lawyer, he asked some pretty tough scenario based questions, which I scaled through by giving my legal opinion. He then asked for my credentials, which I proceeded to give him. That was when the man proceeded to leave his seat and placed his hand on my shoulder. I was so pertrified! I shook free and he got the message that he should keep his hands to his damn self.

The interview then took a personal turn. He started asking about my relationship status. I quickly responded that I was engaged. His reply was "me too am married, can't you see my ring", I like you a lot...you are a very pretty lady. I am sure a lot of judges are fighting over you in this state. Your credentials are great, you seem smart, just my kind of woman..what if I want to date you?". I was so shocked!! That was when I told him straight off that I don't date married guys, let alone one who may become my boss. Also that I am in a very committed relationship and don't condole cheating. He was a bit stunned, but took it in good faith. He asked a few other questions before ending the interview, saying his other partners would interview me on monday, that's when I will know if I am getting the job.

This experience left me very shocked and sad, that an interviewer would blatantly ask me out. Whatever happened to work ethics and morality? I just hope I don't get experiences like this again. Its very insulting and demeaning to say the least. Please, Nigerian men this is so wrong. A woman should be interviewed and hired for her brains and academic intellect, not because she is pretty and you just want a new plaything. I was so close to insulting him, I just had to keep calm and address the issue in a very firm way. May God help all female jobseekers o. If there's anything I am not ready to do is to sleep with any man, because he is in a position to give me a job. Not after 6 years invested into my legal career. Not now, not ever!

Simple question

Are you pretty?

mayorkyzo:
http://www.primepuzzle.com/leesnewest/one-wave-short.html

Very funny

BRO YOU HAVE NO PAIN AND YOU'RE FREE FROM PROBLEM. GOD HAS A REASON FOR EVERYTHING.
YOU'RE BLESSED.

lagmostkuit:
Na hustle still carry my mind go there.

Lol I love your kind of person.
Don't know if you would grant me the opportunity to be your friend off nairaland.

lagmostkuit:
Lol

That's funny but true. If somebody can hustle hard to the extent of selling Jesus.
Men!!!! Anything can happen.
You're on point dearie.

But you funny sha
Watin carry your mind to think such self?

lagmostkuit:

How come i've not experienced this?

Oh girl I love your personal text.
You funny gon...............

[/b]

INTROVERT:
Nothing to add again joor.... you should be given a Pulitzer for this thread....






i don die.. don't mind all those blood sucking mosquitoes.... just keep killing them whenever they try to suck your blood...









[b]
if am not the first to comment on omotayors thread, who will....

Congratulations