₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Mynd_44 link=topic=844173.msg9949123#msg9949123 date=1326374542]Mrs Chima please don't mistake the trditional weddings oooo. You can actually be married traditionally and it will still be legally recognised event without without legal evidence. All you need is witnesses that witnessed the event and the officiating priest or family head involved.[/quote]I forgot some people need detailed and broke down information.  In the countries that supports and recognizes traditional marriages are legal in those countries. 

Countries like America, Canada, UK, and few others recognizes COURT LAW marriages.  If she lives in those countries, he will need to be legally MARRIED by the courts before he can be charged with bigamy.  Got it? 

If that was the case, then many of these men from other countries that are traditionally married with wives will be charged with bigamy if they are married to other wives in countries that doesn't support polygamy.  Common sense. 

Last time I have checked, polygamous marriages are acceptable in Nigeria and few other African countries. 

LMAO@me confusing traditional marriages with court of law marriages.    I can see the American government officials going to Kenya to see if Ollan is married traditionally.

That's Seun?

Let me leave this thread before I get banned.

Jaybee

Did I hurt you on a thread because you seems to be locking threads while I am typing a response.

Don't have to be frustrated physically, just tell me what you need and I will see if I can get someone okay?

MsDarkSkin:
LIKE, OHHHH. . .EM.GEEEE!!! YOU ACTUALLY GIVE SENSIBLE ADVICE!! 

lol just kidding. 

@topic Mynd has a very good point. I would like to add though that even with that having been said, LDRs have been and can be successful. Such relationship depends HEAVILY on patience and honesty!! Without BOTH it's doomed. I can attest to that. 

I agree there are very few long distance relationships that works, but it depends on how frequent they see each other and what some of them can handle depending on what their partners expel through honesty.  

For some people it is best left unsaid, however they need to take in everything associated with long distance relationship if they are willing to be in one.  

If one only seen each other once and years have accumulated before the next visit it would be hard to believe they are still faithful to each other but a very few could make it.

OP

We talk about things that we needs to talk about.  Men talks about who they are going to bleep next.

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I am waiting on a specific chatter.

SA Goddess:
That I know, responce was in reference to what OP said about marrying black men because they marry many wives. . . .  .I was saying white men may not marry many women but they will still get mistresses, that applies to men of all races and ethnicities! I am sure you get that. . .

True.

MsDarkSkin:
LOL it's ok and i feel better now because of the bolded part.

Read the bold post below again.

[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=842641.msg9949710#msg9949710 date=1326379588][b]I had a vision of you typing fast and popping your neck as you speak out the words! ;[/b]D

Jaybee is calculating his attack on me.  He is waiting on the right time.     He always appears when folks giving me kisses and hugs.   

A jealous lover I tell you.  [/quote]

MsDarkSkin:

i would hug you but jaybee might kick my arse!! 

btw jaybee im mad @ you for locking that thread while i was typing!! 
that's messed up. 

I had a vision of you typing fast and popping your neck as you speak out the words!

Jaybee is calculating his attack on me.  He is waiting on the right time.     He always appears when folks giving me kisses and hugs.   

A jealous lover I tell you. 

jay bee:
Mrs Chima <<<<<<< Always fighting

You know you get excited when you see me boxing.

MsDarkSkin:
LMAO!! lol chima you are off the hook  
i love the hypocrisy for real. i love how it's typed out for all to see too  
let's disrespect nigerian/black women but biiiiitch if whites are dissed or not preferred.  

It is not RACIST when one disses BLACK/AFRICAN women, but it is racist when one disses White/non-black women?  WTF.  

If one is going to be very vocal about "unity and broaden horizons", one need to NIP IT IN THE BUD when one is dissing those who looks like their mothers.  

Fake people can't stand me!  

African men are just like any other ethnicities of men. Culture and beliefs is what separates each groups.

There is nothing special about any ethnicity of men.

davidylan:
good guy. go and work on your marriage jare. Your wife and daughter need you.

and what is best for the child is to be punted from parent to parent every other weekend like a football? What is best for the child is to spend the rest of her growing years getting used to one uncle and aunty or the other sharing mommy and daddy's bedrooms? What is best for the child is to carry the cross for daddy and mommy's irresponsible behaviour?

This silly idea of single parenthood now gaining momentum is what will destroy the new generation.

Sighs. Your issues with single parents and parenting isn't my issue however, believe it or not THERE ARE OVER THOUSANDS OF CHILDREN living in two households and are flourishing better than some two-parents households. BOOYAH!

The secret? The quality of parenting.

All the killers, robbers, rapists, thieves, pimps, and liars are byproduct of SINGLE PARENTING?

I will not advise a woman who is clearly HURTING and UNHAPPY with her husband's cheating ways and is willing to stay in a house where there is pain and distrust AND YOU WANT ME TO ADVISE THE WOMAN TO SUBJECT HER DAUGHTER IN THAT BULLSHIT?

Let see what you will say when YOUR OWN DAUGHTER if you got any, come to you in tears and agony.

"It is better to be a fool than a football" circa 2033

MsDarkSkin:
LMAO. manbitches indeed and then when they have nothing else to say, they'll be like
"i don't have your time" RIGHT!! but you did two days in a row. it's like suck off and drown

Exactly. Most people who don't have time for certain posts wouldn't even COMMENT.

LMAO@bootleg Dr. Phil Come to find out the mofo isn't a doctor!

Sis

You won!       

To be more concise, manbitches is the correct term.   

Have you noticed that you are getting attacked when other BLACK MEN have stated that they prefer their own sisters? Hmm. Sounds like YIM influence to me.

Don't fall for it.

sara j:
White men are so much easier than men of other
cultures/races.
If you want an easy, hassle free life then marry a
white guy.

White Men good points

- laid back
- good sense of humour
- less sexist
- fair
- good communicators
- rarely controlling
- less judgemental
- more forgiving

I'm not a racist. This is just my opinion/preference.

Damn. Gotta go!

People love making judgement?

She came online and expressed her concerns about her marriage and asked for advices, honest or not. As I reviewed some of the comments, none of them spoke ill about the man, but offered her encouragement to think for HER CHILD.

The child should be the focus at this point and doing what best for the child is imperative NOW. The parents will have to deal with the issue on their own, but the CHILD SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SUFFER.

Even if we heard the man's story, what can he say justifies CHEATING? Even if she smacks him, took his money, talked about his ashy foot, and burnt his jollef rice STILL DOES NOT excuse THE FACT THAT HE CHEATED.

Even if he didn't cheat, he did something so horrible that she felt her world turned upside down.

Common sense is definitely UNDERrated.

[quote author=t.b.o.y link=topic=844467.msg9949017#msg9949017 date=1326373496]what do u advise me to do. Iv been waiting for your response[/quote]My comment:

[quote author=Mrs, Chima link=topic=844467.msg9948747#msg9948747 date=1326370891]Be equally yoked to someone that is compatible to you and if the girl isn't compatible to you then you need to seek elsewhere.  

Five months is too early to determine long term perspectives but focus on compatibility right now and if religion is important to you then you need to seek someone who shares the same religion as you and is compatible to you.  

Some people work well in mixed marriages and some don't.   Focus on what works for you.[/quote]

I tire ooo.

[quote author=t.b.o.y link=topic=844467.msg9948926#msg9948926 date=1326372912]im nt desperate its just that if we end up in a bad way it will be very unfair on her cos she has given her everything to make things work so far. Thats my concern[/quote]People take risks in relationships and some people give up more than others.  That's life but, you are concern with the fact that you do not want another man to marry her and since your family is against mixed marriages and I am sure her family is since they are muslim, you want to convert her so that your family will accept her.  

Please be honest, it will go a long way.

[quote author=im_a lady link=topic=844173.msg9948328#msg9948328 date=1326366124]Nope I don't think he is still married as I have seen the divorce papers, and we are having a registary wedding. It is against the law and a criminal offence to marry someone else whilst you are still legally bound (bigamy). As for the people saying why did I get pregnant again outside wedlock , trust me once you have experienced a miscarriage it messed up your head and you would do anything to reassure yourself that you are fertile and can bear a child like the majority of other women out there. Thanks all in all everyone for your individual advise .[/quote]Registry marriage and traditional marriage are two separate things.   He can be legally divorced through the court of law, but it doesn't mean he isn't married traditionally.   Courts do not have the time to go to neighboring villages and investigate whether he is married or not.  

If there isn't a legal document stating that he is married then he isn't married in the COURT OF LAW.

Nothing like being in a relationship with someone within reach.

[quote author=t.b.o.y link=topic=844467.msg9948782#msg9948782 date=1326371327]i dnt wanna hurt her cos she deserves the best[/quote]Are you attempting to marry her because YOU ARE DESPERATE and she is the best for YOU? You marrying her may not be what best for her.

Idowuogbo:
Crikey I reckon you see a therapist,I don't understand what message you feel you sending across to that poor gal.Remember she's a gal and she would probably look up to you as a role model when she's older.

Answer the below questions

1.Would you advice your daughter if God forbids she happens to fall in the same dilemma as you,to stay and endure a marriage that reeks of infidelity.

2.Would you be happy if she decides to carry on with marriage knowing fully well she's umcomfortable and probably depressed.

3.If she came up with the same reasoning as you that staying will protect the interest of her kids,would you support her mission or advice odawise.

Now I am asking all this questions because I am shocked at the response "I will stay because my daughter needs a father figure in her life",who says she can't have a father figure if you eventually separate.Engage your brain properly as your daughter needs to be taught what is right and what is unacceptable.Goodluck reality sucks but we all have to live our lives one way or the other.

Excellent questions and post.


Hurtlady,

You are following the stigma of being a single mother with child and you would rather hurt your child more by staying in a relationship with a man who clearly doesn't love you nor respect you. There are different levels of love and he has NONE for you.

A man that truly loves his wife will certainly go out of his way to assure she is worthy. Trust me.

There are plenty of single parents with children from previous relationships that are in healthy relationships with another person who loves them and their children. Do not believe that stigma once you leave a marriage, you are cursed.

You are not leaving a marriage because your husband farted on your leg, he CHEATED ON YOU SEXUALLY with another woman defiling your marital bed. AID[b]S/HIV is real and NO ONE IS EXEMPT FROM IT. [/b]

It is good that you are seeking counseling, it would be good for you and your child. You need to think about the future and how your daughter will view men. He will always be her daddy and loves him so, but you must use your head and know YOU ARE WORTHY OF A MAN THAT will love you and show your daughter, A TRUE MAN.

Don't rob your daughter of what she should become, A SMART, VIBRANT, HEALTHY, SPIRITUALLY GROUNDED, and PROSPEROUS woman.

Be strong and appreciate your WOMAN'S WORTH.

Boxer007:
A strong black woman is always categoriazed as having attitude. My guts feelings tells me strong black women are treats to black men.

Oh my goodness! A man said this? Fainted.

[quote author=t.b.o.y link=topic=844467.msg9948698#msg9948698 date=1326370365]Nairalanders this is abt us being able 2 get married. My family dnt allowed such marriage and i dnt believe in such marriage either[/quote]Be equally yoked to someone that is compatible to you and if the girl isn't compatible to you then you need to seek elsewhere.  

Five months is too early to determine long term perspectives but focus on compatibility right now and if religion is important to you then you need to seek someone who shares the same religion as you and is compatible to you.  

Some people work well in mixed marriages and some don't.   Focus on what works for you.

pendo89:
oops! too late. I am watching my two lovely boys grow now while still in my youth.
checking out 'Amya's baby pic. Pretty blue eyes.

Blue eyes are okay. Hazel green, violet, and gray colors are rare and work of art. The baby is adorable and I am sure your boys are heartbreakers!

I just had a premonition!

"Uh waiter, can I get 2lbs of pale toto to go?"

Easy Sis Easy! [size=2pt]I don't want you to get them "emails". [/size]

Pendo Sis

You can lead the horse to water, but you can't make it swallow.    Rest your beautiful fingers and come see the babies on Nairaland's Cutest Baby Contest thread. The babies are just lovely and we need to get you ready for one.

According to 2buff, men like women with arse and bosoms.   

The rest is in the way.   


Some men wants skinny women
Some men wants fat women
Some men wants thick women
Some men wants athletic women
Some men wants muscular women
Some men wants hermaphroditish women
Some men wants anorexic women
Some men wants bulimic women
Some men wants pear shaped women
Some men wants onion shaped women

Different strokes for different men.

(confused as hell)