₦airaland Forum

Why is it an issue if a partner comes home late?

freecocoa:
^
Yeah that's true,its rightly Benin city but cos she said he's nigerian,I knew its our own benin and down here in nigeria people rarely add the city to it.

Gotcha.

How far can I get in Koyoke's linty pockets? Hmm.

[quote author=Mynd_44 link=topic=843084.msg9935603#msg9935603 date=1326208612]Mrs Chima!!!!![/quote]Why are you calling me?

freecocoa:
Mrs C dearie,there's Benin in nigeria its the capital of Edo state.

OP does he have his papers complete yet?

I have heard people say Benin city as reference to the capital in Edo state, so naturally I assumed she meant the country Benin. But it all good.

uzoo:
@Mrs. Chima

as much i still agree with you,i wouldnt want the issue or topic at hand to be derailed (talking about divorce) thats a different issue entirely.

btw ,where would you classify ;


1. Love/or lack of it in a marriage
2. Infedility


? ? ? ?

Infidelity is a good ground for divorce however it doesn't mean that you should divorce depending on the severity of infidelity. If a spouse can't take the fact that they were cheated on then divorce is a good way because the marriage was defiled.

People who have lack of love in the marriage had it before they entered it. That's why I said you can't expect happiness if you went into marriage miserable and for the wrong reasons. It is trivial because the person shouldn't have entered the marriage but you can't control a cheating spouse who not only put their own health at risk, but yours as well. That's a big no no.

I know some couples who have experienced infidelity and are still married. It took them a long time to trust each other but it could be done.

jay bee:

CloseD mouths don't get fed, OPEN THEM.

ebonyvibe:
You need to read this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=840406.msg9928141#msg9928141

I can bet my £1000 on it this guy is married. if a man is in love with you he will be the one encouraging you to meet his friends, Like on friday when i was going to a party with my husband he was all please dress to impress let all my friends know you are the beautiful not all this hide and seek relationship.

That's true Ebony, because if a man really love you, you will be a star to everyone in his life including his haters. Trust me I know.

Op

I am going to tell you STRAIGHT, don't be a fool. You see all the signs and YET you want to give him another chance.

This is a Nigerian brother telling you what you already know, are you going to listen to him?

[quote author=Mynd_44 link=topic=843153.msg9935459#msg9935459 date=1326207345]Before the madness starts here, lemme advice you quickly. You should find out about this dude and be completely sure he is for real. Nigerian men don't go on family outings with their ex-wife and be smiling(divorces here are craziy). Why won't he come to your church? Why wont he allow you come to his church? If possible try to meet his kids, try to find out about this ex-wife of his cos they might still be married. Sheck if he has pappers if he does not, be extracareful and don't give him money.
Nuff said[/quote]

OP

Are you saying you met a Nigerian from Benin? Because Benin is not in Nigeria.

Zilja:
[i][/i][size=8pt][/size][color=#000099][/color]
[font=Lucida Sans Unicode]I am an African American who have been dating a guy from Benin Nigeria [/b]for a little over a year now. I have a son who is 20 years and he has small ones 4 & 5 yrs. Just 3 months into the relationship he said he was in [b]LOVE with me  I'm no spring chicken so I'm waiting to see before I recipicate    He and his wife are divorced (so he say)  and he has the children along with his mom living with him. 

If we are both single adults parents, why am I not able to meet the family.  We both are Christians but attend church in seperate places. I've invited him to my church several times and it's always excuces. I've ask to come to his church and more excuses. I'm big on communication no matter what the topic is. Several times such as Father's day, he said he was just going to church and back home. Well, later in the week I went on facebook and found pictures of he and the family, the wife and children enjoying themselves as if they were a happy family. OOO, did i say I found the wify on facebook. They are not friends but she post pictures of the family and he post pictures of just he and the children.  Dont' get me wrong, I would have had no problem had he said they were going to spend some time with the children because of that day. There's no trust for the one who says first "i'm in love with you" 

I'm really ready to move on but yet I give him another chance,
Is this typical for Nigerian men, want to have their cake and eat it too? OR are they that proud to tell the family they are in love with a non-nigerian women?

Thanks for the ear

Why the face?

Op

Are you asking why men prefer non-virgins more than virgins regarding marriage?   You have to take in consideration that being a virgin is like finding a diamond in a pile of poo in today's society.  I am not saying there is something wrong with being a virgin or non-virgin, but we are in an era where we can choose to be with whomever we want to be and some people are stuck in the era where society used to dictate who should marry whom.  

There are more non-virgins in this world than virgins and most likely non-virgins will have the highest marriage rate.  Now, some men have professed that they prefer virgin women and often seek virgins to "devirginized" but many of these men are interested in being the first guy to break the cherry.  

Many of those non-virgin girls were virgin girls who were victims of Cherry Busters.  We need to find out why those girls had or have multiple sex partners, many girls are victim of sex abuse and often time replicate that behavior out of trauma.  

As much mess most men talk, they prefer a wild woman in bed and lady in the streets.  If they can get that they are sold.  Maybe it is a stereotype that "good" girls are boring in bed and in life.  Who knows but let thank God, they are marrying instead of humping around!

rokiatu:
Well said wifey.

Thanks wifey.

uzoo:
@Mrs.Chima
no doubt,i agree with you.


but what do you say to people who place their happiness in the hands of that "special someone" to come & marry them,thinking that is what ends it all.

i think marriage is just the begining of all your problems especially when you dont have the right mind-set towards it.

Marriage in itself was never the issue.  Marriage was the scapecoat for those who weren't willing to face their own personal issues.  (I am talking about those who gave up and divorced over trivial things)

Let me list trivial things so people will have an idea of what I meant by "trivial":

weight gain/loss
barren/impotency
Disability/mild illnesses
Lack of employment
Mismanagement of funds

I agree, some people place their happiness in the hands of others and when reality sink in their minds, they have realized they married for the wrong reasons.  That's why divorce are high in many countries that allows divorce freedom and spousal murders in countries that are strict on divorce.  

Marriage is about partnership and MANY aren't marriage material.

(popping popcorn and rinsing blood and flesh from metal bat)

chucluvr:
Mrs. Chima I didn't send any money that is why he broke up with me. I agree with you. thank you for your response.

I meant to say you are dealing with a man that wants you to send money that you haven't met physically and he got the nerves to get mad because you won't send him money?

You welcome. You will find somebody much better and that deserve you. Keep your head up.

Op

You are sending money to a man that you haven't met physically and the fact that he is UPSET WITH YOU because you will not send him money?

Never sell yourself cheap and never buy love from NO ONE. I understand that people go through hard times and need help but damn. There are hundreds of people who do not depend on the system nor their families busting their asses EVERYDAY and if they can make it so can he.

He was using you for the money and HAD NO INTENTION on ever seeing you unless you don't mind being wifey for a minute.

Tell the dude, you aren't interested in being rent a sugar momma.

kokoye:
^^^

On the flip side, I believe Kimora chose Give Us Free cos he looked exotic to him.

_{diaryofajealousblackman}


By the way, you need to go to bed . . .sweet dreams

She picked Free because he loves her.

kokoye:
^^^

On the flip side, I believe Kimora chose Give Us Free cos he looked exotic to him.

_{diaryofajealousblackman}


By the way, you need to go to bed . . .sweet dreams

It isn't bed time for me. I am not in NIgeria. Did you drink your ENSURE Papa Smurf?

kokoye:
Give us free is now sleeping-with Kimora.

#fact!

damn african  

Kimora is half black so she is cool.

Not all African men like booty and boobies. Look at Seal and Heidi.

Correction: Congo, Sudan, and Ecuador.

xynerise:
^What is d difference between snake and viper?

One is a snake and one is a viper.

xynerise:
is the same thing o jare.

No. Nigerian men aren't Congolese men.

http://cdn.mediatakeout.com/47459/there-s-a-new-world-map-that-shows-which-countrys-have-the-men-with-the-biggest-janks-and-the-smallest-too.html

xynerise:
Nigerian men have d biggest dik (FACT) Wikipedia

Actually Wikipedia said Congolese men have the biggest dicks in Africa.

I see gay men convention started. Have fun gays!

Guess what, many have protested and died, fuel subsidy is still in effect.

They don't care about the dead bodies, it means NOTHING TO THEM. You can protest by electing sane and sensible government officials for starters.

Greek men have swagger! (looking at Inkie)

kokoye:
what do you mean by 'beating'?

Meaning he makes the heart beat. What with this nine hundred dollars questions?

Rough feet and claws.   

LMAO@GIve us free!

The movie, Amistad was the shizzle!