₦airaland Forum

There is no heaven and hell,when a person dies,he reincarnate.
SIMPLE!!!

Smh,silly thread!!!

What/Who is the devil?
christianity terms devil as the enemy of god who rules Hell,tempts people to sin.

But how do you expect me to believe that Satan is the devil and not god doing all the evils.

1. Jonathan has been impeached.

2. SHOCKING: A goat spoke like a human being in Kaduna yesterday.

3. Homosexuality has been legalised in Nigeria

ENTERTAINMENT

4. Terry gets a grammy with his song 'RUN MAD'.

SPORT

4. Chelsea about to sign Ideye in a bid to get a world class striker.

ekeroyal: My dear bro., the journey of life has been quite a journey. I'm planing to get single again, should you know anybody who could be my partner with no strings attached except when needed, kindly contact me.

Hope you're doing good as well. I missed you bro.

Okay bro.

If Animals and Insects were on Facebook, This Would Be Their Comments

1. MOSQUITO WALL POST:
Finally PHCN don off light, blood sucking things.
COMMENTS:
(a) **** up, dey don on gen for my end.
(b) Abeg bros which area you dey? My people don fleet house.

2. DOG WALL POST:
Na wa oh..... I never even stay reach 5mins, all these Calabar people don dey eye me. *Ghost mode activated, them no go see me* escaping things on my mind.
COMMENTS: My neighbour na calabar too. The man eyes no good for where dogs dey... I go bite am soo.

3. HE-GOAT WALL POST:
Heat mood activated, any she-goat online for se'x chat?
COMMENTS:
(a) She-goat.@He-goat you're a capital BIG fool.
(b) He-goat. @She-goat, pretender, as if you no dey feel Hot. Carry your smelling backside comot for post jor.

4.COCK WALL POST:
All these hen go dey run like say dey no wan do.But if you catch them,dem go bend quickly,set for doggy style.
COMMENT:Your own better nah,you dey catch them.The ones for my area na fast and furious.I don pursue tire.

That was my joke!!!
And yet you didn't pay for the copyright permit, I'm going to call my lawyer first thing tomorrow morning!!!

olumaxi: red-label weh im no fit drink..na borow im borow am 4rm bar-man just to snap pix..mtchew

ekeroyal: NEWS ON THE MOVE

[size=14pt]BIN GBAGBO IN POLICE NET FOR SUCKING IYA AKPORS' B.REAS.T.[/size]

Ekeroyal,longest time,where have you been

NICE!!!

1. Idi-Amin is alive.

2. Boko Haram Leader Shekau converts to Christianity.

Honestly, I don't like going into the sexuality section because I'm scared of being banned by sexkillz

born_to_be_gr8t: In recent time,the kind of English you hear people speak, would definitely give you the impression that English is dying ..but today I want to kill it finally..

Here are some examples

1. What is wrong to you

2. I have been finding this book for a long time

3. John: when last did u see bob ur boyfriend
Mary: it has tey o!

4: this soap is not soapy

5: Jonathan : patience why are u crying
Patience : am crying because, my mother that.
Mothered me is dead

6: I can't fit to lie to you, I swear

7: 1,2 ,3 ...both of you come here

8: I cant hear the smell of what is burning

9: can you see how my car is sounding , you have spoil the engine


Okay peeps. Help me kill English if you know that you are grammatically erected..leggo

A dog died and the owner took it to Akpos. He asked Akpos if he could organise a funeral service for
the dead animal.
Akpos: no we cant hold a service for your dog in our church but there is a church down
the street, maybe they will do it for you.
Man: but pastor will that church accept a donation of $ 1million ?
Akpos shouted and asked, why didnt you tell me the dog was a christian?

Akpos' phone rings...
Lady{on phone}: hi sir, i want
to meet and talk to you. You
are the father of one of my
kids.
Akpos stuned; OMG!
Are you Jennifer?
No
Are you Anne?
No
Are you Josephine?
No
Are you Chichi?
No
Are you Chinyere?
No
Are you Omowunmi?
No
Are you Folashade?
No
Are you Hauwa?
No
Are you Mariam?
No
{after few seconds of
silence}
Are you Gabriella?
Confused lady replied: No
sir,i am the class teacher of
your son
One word for Akpos

A Zimbabwean girl married a French man and went 2
Paris. She didn't knw French. One day she went to the
market alone to buy chicken thighs, she lifted her
skirt&showed her legs. This went on 4 some days.
The other day she wanted to buy chicken breast so she
lifted her top and showed her breasts.
The following day she wanted to buy bananas. She took
her husband along with her. U know why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because he understood french ! Dirty mind,what were you thinking

Young man, you coming
to seek my daughter’s
hand in marriage and you are chewing gum. That’s
a sign of disrespect! Akpors: Sir, I only chew gum
when I drink or
smoke. Father-In-Law: You mean u drink & smoke
and you
are here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage?
Akpors: Sir I only drink & smoke when I go to the
club. Father-In-Law: U club too? Akpors: I’m sorry
sir, I
started clubbing when I came out of prison. Father-
In-Law:-U’ve also been in prison before? Oh
my God! Akpors: Sorry sir, I went to jail when I
killed
somebody! Father-In-Law:-What!!! U’re a killer
Akpors: Sir, it happened out of anger. It was a
certain man that didn’t allow me marry his
daughter so I killed him. Father-In-Law: You are
highly welcome my son. U
are on the right track. U are absolutely the right
man for my daughter.

1. ASUU has suspended the 4month strike.

2.Fashola resigns as the Governor of Lagos due to stress.

3.FG has announced that Lagos State will be the new capital of Nigeria in 2020.

4.Senate approves Republic of Biafra.

Wife: U r smelling woman's
perfume where did u get it?
Hubby: From the woman I was
squeezed with in the
taxi.
Wife: What abt d lipstick on your
mouth?
Hubby: Oho that one I got it
from Amai Julie whom I was
congratulating for passing her
exam.
Wife:What about the used
condoms in your pocket?
Hubby:Hey leave me alone don't
ask me silly questions. I want 2
sleep
Wife: Crying. This is not fair coz
me when I use them I don't bring
them home.
Hubby: Waking up angry. Wat did
u say?
Wife: Leave me alone I want to
sleep

An ugly woman (Bance is better than her) walks into a store with her two kids, yelling at them. John, the store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children. Are they twins?
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no, they are not. One is 9 yrs old & the other is 7 yrs old. Why dah hell would you think they
are twins, are you blind, or stupid?"
John replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would sleep with you twice!!"

bin gbagbo:

something to wet your appetite

I entered the bar and requested for three bottles of beer, a plate of full chicken, a big bowl of eba and egusi soup, one plate of isi-ewu and a pack of cigarette . I sat next to this poor looking guy who had just a bottle of pepsi sipping.He was looking into my eye with envy!Obviously very hungry guy!
I also ate my "downloads" well ,well to infuriate this poor guy.After some minutes, i realised i had to catch a flight at 6pm, poor i had no wrist watch! The pepsi guy had a wrist watch, so i ask am, " oga, what says your time?" He looked into my face closely for 3 minutes speechless, and finally said,. . . . .












"ask your isi-ewu!"

What is this

airclipse: Hahaha....nor be today....I got banned by Anti-spam bot for asking why Etisalat BIS plan isn't ₦700yet....

I was also banned by Antispambot for writing a sex story in the sexuality section.

[b]A Chinese Call center:
.
Caller: h3llo, can I speak to Annie Wan?
Operator: Yes you can speak to me..
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to
anyone. You can
speak to me. Who is this?
Caller: I am Sam Wan, and I need to talk to Annie Wan.
It's urgent!
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to
speak to anyone. But what's the urgent matter about?
Caller: Well.. just tell my sister Annie Wan that our
brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan
got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to hospital.
Right now, Every Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was
sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent
matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time
for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your
name.
Operator: That's what I said. I am Saw Ree...
Caller: Oh...God..![/b]

What is p!ss?
When U take a 9hr jorney 2 c a guy U met online n on getting there, his phone is switchd off! U r p!ssED!
After trying his line several hrs n still off, U felt U should check into a hotel; On gettin there, U discoverd ur wallet containing all ur money has been stolen. U r SO p!ssED!
U dropped ur bag @ d reception, ran 2 a nearby bank 2 withdraw with your atm card. On getting there, ATM traps ur card. Angrily, U went straight into d bank 2 complain n they tell U 2 come 4 ur card in a week time. Honestly U r h3ll p!ssED!
On ur way back 2 the hotel with absolute rage, U received an alert; 50k has been deducted frm ur account some minutes ago. om9! U r BADLY p!ssED!
Stil lost in rage, U got 2 dhotel only to find out ur bag is no more. U asked d receptionist he points 2 an inscription on d notice board which reads "bags kept @ owners risk". Ooh what a pity! U r d*mn p!ssED!
In d bid 2 make trouble, he calls d security 2 lock U up. oh! Who will bail U now? U r p!ssED! INFACT, U DON p!ss 4 BODY!