₦airaland Forum

Klass99:
Lookatchu , why your blood just dey hot any how these days? And which one is goodbye? Come back here let us engage.

Religion aside (I am a firm believer in Jesus Christ though, just so you know) I was beaten as a young child growing up in my parents house and it didn't damage me at all. If anything it did me a world of good.

If I went out with any of my aunties (two of my mother's sisters) and we came across strangers, acquaintances or neighbours who engaged them in conversation and I didn't greet, they would say nothing and do nothing in that moment. Once we parted ways with those people I would get a painful knock on my head with a question of, shebi you don't know how to greet? This happened as often as when I failed to greet, until I learnt to do so without being prompted. Perhaps the fear of consequences made me to do so, but las las it instilled good behaviour in me.

These same aunties would wake me and my siblings up at night with a dirty slap to go and wash dishes we left in the kitchen sink. They would see us going to bed with the dishes there and not say a word, then wait for us to fall asleep only to pepper us. I quickly learnt to tidy up well before bed because I didn't want my sleep being interrupted. I have carried that habit with me into my adult years and I really like it, I don't go to bed with even a teaspoon or glass in the sink. I love waking up to a clean kitchen and a clean house as a whole. It's like starting a new day on a clean note......It's a great feeling and I give them credit for moulding and shaping me into the woman I am today.

I believe in beating children as and when necessary to address or correct a bad behaviour. Actions really speak louder than words, you can talk to a child repeatedly about something and they won't take correction but the moment you incorporate flogging or beating, they start to adjust because they don't want a certain consequence.

You know how married folks bring their issues here and the typical response is always communicatin is key, talk to your wife or husband, abi? I usually say stop talking already and show your spouse what you can do, because actions speak louder than words. All your talking has done you no good, so show them what you're capable of. I believe the same thing applies to miscreant and stubborn children who no dey hear word.

I hate repetition in my life, as in, I hate repeating myself and I don't like people repeating themselves to me. So, if I say something once, I say it twice, the third time you must collect slap or knock as a child who is in my space and doesn't want to take correction.

So, I just finished reading this. I totally understand your point but however, I believe there are many other things you can do to kids to discipline them without beating or slapping them. I was beaten when I was growing up also, and I was, and still stubborn. I did and still do what pleases me and everyone around me knows.

All the beating had no impact on me. Although I wasn't usually beaten. Words get under my skin easily and faster than anything and I always avoid it when I was growing up. In fact, if I was beaten, I would reject food (basic school and high school days). And when I got admission to the University, I stopped going home, but only visited once a year and it was always less than a week.

I am of the opinion that beating was very instrumental (and at the same time damaging) back then in homes because that's one of the effective ways to punish kids. It's very different mow because there are many things you can do punish your kids without beating, as many of them have iPads, game console, personal TV, weekly hangout and many other things and ways that will hurt them deeply if you deprive them when they err. I had a friend that his mom brought to my school from a very expensive private high school. He was in my class for a year before he was returned back to his former school. They did that to him to punish him and he had to comport himself ever since, till he left for University.

I don't know if I'm gonna have kids but if I should, I'm never gonna beat them. I detest beating or slap, it's waste of time and energy. In fact, I'm not the type of guy that likes violence, going physical, or shouting. I'm a noiseless poison.

Have I told you that I hate cries (including a toddler)? It's very unpleasant to my ears and makes me have a disgust feeling.

Nextlife1:
We are married for more than 5 years now and I love her
Reason for me to send her to study.

Wether you have been married for a decade or century, your actions are not justifiable. It's unwise to do what you are doing. Even the elites that their kids will end up marrying rich folks, will always enroll their kids in school, some till Ph.D. level before/after marriage.

You people (both genders) always let love becloud your reasoning hence the reason you always settle for less. Your wife was not exposed to some lifestyle before marriage but now that she's schooling, she's met men of different social class which has made her feel more valuable and reckless at the same time.

Also, men like you that have plans to enroll their woman in school should also upgrade their own life in terms of education, enlightenment and social class because women like your wife will be carried away easily by some basic things.

Women are hypergamy in nature, so it's part of the reasons you're being cheated on and disrespected.

Emperormartin:
That you're saying you'll do same thing is simply answering fire with fire...

Now tell me why was she looking for her original parents in the first place

To throw them their shit in their faceC'mon

If that's her sole reason then she's not ready for reunion. Reunion isn't fire for fire.

There are ways to talk to people that have erred heinously and I'm sorry to say that lady didn't exhibit it in the first meeting with her mom.

NB: I'm not in any way justifying the mother's incestuous deeds

Yes, I would have done more than what she did. I don't care about your relationship with me, wether you're my parents or whatever and you did injustice to me, don't fvcking think I'm gonna just sober up and give you flowers and let the past be past without lashing out and display my annoyance. No!!!

Dude, you keep showing how insensitive of a person you are. You expected her to go there to sober and weep like a fvcking 3-year-old child with no consciousness of emotional pain? You're the type that your relative will rape your child and still let it pass. Disgusting!

I'm done engaging with you.

Goodbye!

Ebubu:
so if you marry a wife with a degree, you can’t sponsor her for Master's education if she desires to be a lecturer?

No, I won't solely sponsor her, but can co-sponsor her.

A woman that's employed and have ambitions will always work towards it, and by the time she's interested in pursuing more degree, she would have had some savings for the tuition. I will only support with what I can comfortably forgo, without expecting anything back from her.

Also, it's wrong to put all your savings into a business, education or anything. Wise people always set goals for themselves and meet the target. There should be separate savings for education, vacation etc.,which won't affect your main or other savings.

There are many woman sponsoring their own Master's, and Ph.D. is even free. And there are many women that are brilliant and will surely get fully-funded scholarship for Master's and Ph.D.

And in this guy's case, he's likely to be sponsoring his wife's undergraduate program, which is even more expensive and unwise.

So, it all depends on what type of woman you wanna be with!

It's not peculiar to piggery alone. There are many units/sections of agriculture that could have been invested in and create employment for millions of Nigerians and also generate revenue for the government and citizens.

Sadly, they don't care because they can't make the type of money they embezzle within 4 years from agriculture. So, everyone can't sacrifice his belly for the citizens that elected them.

When will you people (both genders) learn to stop bearing the burden that was never meant for you?

Doesn't she have a father or mother that could enroll her in school? You left educated women to marry someone you'll be funding her education, what for?

Your premium heartbreak is about to start!

Emperormartin:
Before her mother replied this manner she had already fired the first shot by furiously asking her mom questions upon questions. C'mon this is just first meeting in over 40yrs.

Her mother answered that way to remind her she doesn't need to be so distasteful seeing the family background that brought her up.

She was solely the one that changed the course of direction of that meeting.

Her mother now needs to disappear for good to give her peace.

Although, as I'm typing here I want her to appear again. Her daughter now seems to be mature to handle the every situation

The fact that you're hell bent on all blaming her for lashing out on her mother, is getting me pissed off. WTF are you even justifying? I don't care if it was 5 decades, I would have even done more than that!

Her mother deserved all what she threw at her! After all, no kid has ever been recorded in history to want to be born! So, if the circumstance of one's birth is shameful, unpleasant or disgusting, then you shouldn't blame any child behaving the way that woman did!

She's found closure as I've said, so it's possible the daughter might handle it well.

EmahBoss:
Although all aren't well, it was of a better choice even though it wasn't the best, that her incestuous parents leave her life. That allowed her to have a somewhat normal life until she started digging into her past.
Everyone in that meeting was fvcked already. Do you think the siblings don't regret their actions?
Sometimes, we don't go looking for what is not looking for us

Yes, I'm not disputing the necessity of her mother's decision for bolting away the second time. I'm sure the parents had reflected on their actions.

You really can't blame the daughter for looking for her genetical history because it's natural to have such urge and in her own case, there were some incidents that fueled her curiosity which led her into the search.

She didn't look for her parents because she needed anything from them but only wanna find closure and she did find it.

Although you're right about not looking for what's not looking for you but you must understand that you need to put yourself in people's shoes before so as to understand their plight. Also, were humans and we differ from one another emotionally and psychologically.

Emperormartin:
All I'm saying here is if you're to blame the mother, just try remember that this was an action of a 16yr old girl. A 16yr old is a barely too young to know the implications of the actions she's doing... I mean in the aspect of absconding...

If she has absconded her baby in her 20's then we're right to classify her as an insensitive woman.

Even absconding, the woman tried to make amends later in life (this showed sensitivity) but unfortunately, it didn't work out well...

The mother still takes all the blame with the father because they definitely caused everything, irrespective of what age the deed was done! When they were having sex, what were they expecting to produce? An iPad?

She was never trying to make amends, it was the daughter that tried to find her mother. The woman wouldn't have looked for her. And she knew her presence in her life would cause more pain and damage, hence the reason she bolted again and it was a good decision.

ibechris:
There is nothing wrong in what he quoted especially from the greatest book on earth.

Who certified Bible as the greatest book on Earth?

Emperormartin:
Incest isn't common now but have been with us as early as biblical times...

The first incestuous relationship recorded in the bible was immediately after the great flood; Noah and his daughters.

So incest isn't a new thing in the history of mankind.

What we supposed to be talking now is "will you join the rest of the world to stereotype a fellow human being born out from incestuous relationship"

I never said it's a new thing. Also, I don't think all my comments here could suggest you to direct your question at me.

Emperormartin:
Her mother knows that she'll be a victim of abuse for the rest of her life immediately she gave birth to her at that hospital...

She didn't expect her daughter to join the bandwagon of abusers she has witnessed all through her life for committing incest. That's why she disappeared the second time for good.

At least she's contented that her daughter is well of and not in any way being stereotyped as incest product

Dude, you're off point. You're extremely off the road.

Her mother knew she was in safe hands and her mother's first words to her was "Look at you,' she said. 'You've been brought up by a lovely family."

So, her mother bolting away the second time was because she was never interested in being in her life. Everything was going well for the daughter and coming into her life would make it bad. The daughter was not vulnerable or hanging out with unserious people. She was raised in a respected family and she was more focused on her ambitions.

Also, the daughter's action when they met was enough for her to disappear again! You seem to underrate how issues like this could affect an individual, and the mother understood it and that was the reason she left finally!

And her mother not being in her life made her found closure.

achimendy:
For your information beating is one of the best ways to discipline a child , but that's if the need arises.

They're some children you can talk to they'll listen, and they're some children you'll also talk to they won't listen, so you need to apply force to make them understand and learn. Is either you learn the soft way or the hard way. Even the bible made us to understand the importance of beating a child when they go wrong (proverbs 13:24).

We're not in the western world where they give all manner of excuse for not beating a child.

I wanted to engage you in an intellectual conversation but it's shameful many of you couldn't do without bringing religious bullshit in a conversation.

Goodbye!

2 African men. One's a corrupt politician while the other is not.

Emperormartin:
Such an engaging story...

But I don't think her birth mother will wanna see her again

She just flippantly blew the chance away by trying to cause more injury to the woman who was looking to heal.

Anyway, all these her decision will make her a strong woman in life.

Her birth mother only wanted to see her just to have that memory till she dies. She was never interested in being in her life.

Also, how dare you blame her for reacting harsh to her mother? Do you know what it feels to be abandoned by your mother at birth? Do you know what it feels to learn that you're a product of incest? Do you know what it feels to have many questions but still couldn't ask when you have the chance? Do you know the psychological and emotional impact of her story on her?

Her decisions has made her a successful woman already. There's no need for future tense.

A sad history but I'm glad she channeled her disgust and anger into her passion and excel in life. People should learn to understand and respect other people's decision and choice of life. Some would have turned against her wish of not marrying or having a baby. I'm proud of her.

Incest is very common all over the world now and many have married their mother, daughter, father, grandma, grandfather etc intentionally and willingly. Most times, they relocate to another location where they are unknown and live till they die. And some will stay back in their abode (where they are known) and never make it known that they're into it.

No, they're not.

achimendy:
I dont really think you understand what we're saying here. He's doing what he can as teacher to put the children on the right track, but you need to understand that the parent have the major role to play here, and nobody will do it for them if they
don't step-up to the task.

Nobody is embarrassing anybody here, he only want to give some useful advice, and that's it.

Stop making a blind argument. He's pushing his luck too far. He should do his job and leave. And if he's that interested in instilling some moral on the kids, he should do it with wisdom.

If I was a parent and you challenge me about my parenting without common sense, that's gonna be the end of your contract!

achimendy:
Good morning nairalanders, something happened recently in a family which prompted me to write and share this story.

I have a friend who does home lessons for children in a particular area, this my friend normally discusses some certain things happening in some of this families that he's not happy about, so most of the times he do settle alot of issues that are not related to education but morals and ethics in the family. This my friend is so good and trusted to the extent that some of his client do leave children with him and travel, just because of the trust they had in him.

So there's this family I went with him one day, so he told me that, in that house the children don't do anything, they have six children, with eldest sixteen years of age and a girl. He said they only try to do things in the house only when they see him coming, that's to tell you that they're not afraid of their mum.
So the day we went, they saw him and they wanted to start doing something and he stopped them, then he called the mother, the house was so dirty ,plates they they used also was so dirty, so the mother came and he started talking to her, why are training this children this way, at this age your children can't do house chores, can't even wash their uniform, look at your first daughter, she can't even help you organise the house, don't you know this girl will become somebody's wife tomorrow?? She's doing all this and you're allowing her? The woman started talking and crying, saying she has talk to them but they wont listen and friend said why can't you take action on them, make them do it until they master it. What about your husband he asked ,she said the husband dont use to talk , that that's why they employ him so he can help them handle the children, that other teachers just normally come and collect and go, but he's the only one that's seriously observing his family and doing the right thing to change things. Me and my friend just shook our head, and he told the woman he will like to see his husband when next he comes.

My reason for saying this is because parents of this days are over pampering their children and are also giving them alot of free-hand. I was not brought up that way, I know my mum doesn't know how to beat but my dad ( that man doesn't take shit from his children). It was that fear that kept us in place, until we grew up before my dad stop beating us. Now he can just talk to you, but if worst come to worst you collect slap from him.

So I think parents of this generation needs to do the needful in order to bring-up responsible children that will represent them even when they're no more.

Just my opinion though.
What do you think guys??

You have a valid point but beating or slapping of kids is also is wrong. That's an abuse and it should never be cheered or seen as a way to discipline kids.

Don't raise your kids by beating or abuse them physically.

I still find it unreasonable for couples to post this type of picture showing the wife's belly.

The cup is going to Europe.

Probability of being kidnapped, raped, killed, robbed etc, if it was in Africa, would have discouraged her.

Temiel:
If you've read down the comment section, I believe you'd have seen that you're wrong.
If not, just use google and type 'why is black mamba called black mamba'.

Yes, I totally agree with your input that there is a green mamba and that they appear green in skin colour.

Good morning.

I made my comment based on the fact that the guy and some others would be misled by your post. He would have thought black mamba is not black, and that was the reason I had to state that we have green mamba also. I was not contesting the reason it's called black mamba. I knew that already.

Those qouting me are dumb and that's the reason I didn't respond to them.

Temiel:
I think it's just a cobra you saw.
Black mambas don't widen their neck like cobras.
And no, black mambas are not black. They are called black mambas because of its dark inner mouth.
Not to downplay the danger cobras pose though.

You're wrong. Black mamba is black. There's green mamba which is green.

HighTableVoice:
You have enough justifiable reason to be worried and perhaps next time be much careful. I remember back in 2018, I knew this guy in my estate we hang and chill together at a bar around Badore Ajah.. He was dating a former runs girl. At that time he was seeking advice on his decision to wife the said girl. According to him, a friend of his actually pleaded with him not to date the girl and stay away from her because he is very much aware that some politician guy she used to be involved with have used the girl. Long story short, the girl got pregnant and the guy did start a life with the lady. As at last year that I linked up with another friend that knows him, I asked about him as it's been a while I saw him, I was shocked when he told me the guy is totally finished now and this was a well to do guy as at that time with his own business, ride and comfortable living and even planning on other propesrous ventures. Please be careful with them. Jesus is real and so is other diabolical entities on this planet. If you must, flush the rubber down the toilet yourself and if possible avoid call girls and Nigerians ones in particular. Date instead, find one cool girl you can be with and limit your own sexual thoughts .. life is way complicated than a lot of people think it is. God be with you

Amateur scriptwriter.

Artworld1:
smh..I dey tell you wetin I witness u dey talk nonsense.. u think I am one 23 yrs old kid or something. U know how many hunters gun down wey later transform to human, people later see where them pull clothes hide,including the charm.

Even Nollywood won't buy your story.

Artworld1:
it happens bro back then in edo people use charm to transform to wild animals and destroy neighbors farm due to jealousy or whatever, especially rice farm during rice season. Most times you will plant 6 acres of rice and barely harvest 7 bags,while someone farming close to you will harvest over 200 bags from less than 2 acres of rice farm. Guy no go fhuck o..

Stop being ignorant.

illicit:
These things happen

It's a lie. The man is either deluded or finding excuse for his murder.

This is so unfortunate and the suspect should face the full wrath of the law. His excuse is unjustifiable. This is not 1805!

HarlequinLekex:
When will i get to europe na?
I don dey wait for too long.

Brazil is not in Europe.

This is really sad and the bank officials are so unprofessional. Contact the CBN visa mail and all social media platform's.