₦airaland Forum

keepingmum:
Sorry but can you please explain what your issues with your parents are? Specifically your mother and siblings?

You say you dont know who advised your mum to seek divorce; excuse me but in your own words, you acknowledge that
a) the beating was too much
b) your Father threw her OUT of the house
c) he accused her of outshining him?
d) your father still lives in his uncle's one room apartment 35 years after
e) your father couldnt keep 2 wives as both wives divorced him
f) your father kept bringing different women to the house, non of these women felt he was a husband material

What i have above there is a lazy man who could not provide for his home, love his wives nor even support his children; instead took out his frustrations on his wife.

Would you have preferred your mum remained till she was beaten to death? or remain celibate for the rest of her life? Is that how little you think of your mum? Do you not think that your mum deserves some respite, someone to love her, someone to look after the scars caused by your dad?

Now unto your sisters, your sisters are NOT babymama's because of a brokenhome. They are BM's because they CHOOSE that life. There are several BM's who came from loving homes so thats no excuse.

Finally, you say your parents didnt support you yet in the same sentence you say they supported you whilst in school. Its clear your parents arent rich/comfortable but they were able to support you from the little they had.

So please tell me, mr 30 something year old man, what do you want from your parents that you havent being given? Is it money, love?

May i suggest you go for therapy to re-orientate your mindset before you end up being a nightmare to the woman you marry. You are displaying the classic mindset of a potential abuser and i pray you seek the help you need

u must be a very wicked woman.u urself has been emotionally and verbally abused by ur ex husband so i am not surprise at the venom u are spewing here to this man who had a terrible childhood.
ur wickedness could not let u see that the mother left,and divorce and was not sent out of the house.
ur wickedness could not let u see dat he said he was too young 2 understand divorce and why his mother didn't come 4 his graduation only his dad was there.
u also need to heal and redress ur mind,kids need both parents and a secure home.Ur a single mother too,don't leave ur child and 30 years later tell him dat u left his dad becoz he was abusing u nd therefore they should just accept it and move on.
u suggest therapy so dat he can accept dat his mother was an angel but his father a monster,but not therapy for his internal wound from the abuse and neglect he suffered as a child.U see why Nigerians are very frustrated nd brute.

MsJackson dont listen to anyone that will tell u to divorce your husband. Many people have their own struggle in their marriages and none of them divorce their husbands.Only after u have tried everything u think u can then u can take a drastic decision.Be wise,i see some good comment above,follow them.

Onegai:
I'm pretty sure that Nigeria has surpassed South Africa in terms of rape and child abuse cases. Just that we will never admit it.

Elias Oyeke will go scot-free. Absolutely nothing will happen to him because we live in a perverted society. Infact, he and his pastor will soon go and beg the victim's parents to "let bygones be bygones" and say he had some deliverance from the spirit affecting him. Some people on NL and off NL will then start a thread about how Mothers over-sexualise their children and cause rape and child abuse, others will ascribe it to Spirituality and Rituals, ignoring the fact that this leaves the door open to do many other abusers to take advantage (but have you heard of ONE SINGLE ABUSER CAUGHT who said he did it for rituals? NOPE!). And another Elias Oyeke-in-the-making will read it and go and commit his own crime against another 5 year old child because, because he knows out society will do absolutely nothing about it.

Not so?

People talking about over sexualisation of kids are not wrong,we shall continue preaching.U will advice someone going to adgengule to remove her jewelries and not dress too flashy,u are only doing it to protect urself from danger.it will not stop arm robbery but it will protect u nd if it doesn't poo happens,but still u took precaution.Just like we preach protection using condoms,yet condoms break but at least it is a little percentage,what is best is abstinence. Rapists will not disappear,they existed even before we were born.evil will never cease but it is our duty 2 protect ourselves from danger.it is unfortunate that the mother had to leave her with a man everyday,so she can go and work.
people go 2 jail everyday,yet people get killed,robbed,raped everyday.It has nothing to do with ANYTHING.Even in america where they have the best police,people still commit crime!They still get raped even by their own parents.The society is now trying thanks 2 social media,her story is out nd everyone will have their eyes on the case.Many little girls have been rescued thanks 2 social media and the perpetrator arrested thanks 2 NGO who fight for them.
Rapists are just evil,sick people.

Kimoni:
Nasha!!!! How are you darl?

I am now a born again reverend sister o

lmao reverend sister indeed!i am fine o just busy and the condition doesn't allow someone make money o.this country na wa o.

they look good together. yoruba boys and their love 4 ibgo girls ,just ask uncle Femi FK
my family has a lot of inter-tribal marriages,i am a product of one.my parents still crazy for each other.

only 1,6 and 8 are true,the rest are jargon. But why u guys lie whenever a girl turns u down?

you lie that u have slept with her 2 ur friends or call her a prostitute?

Tell her 2 leave nd go back home,you guys are not married yet.what's wrong with these youths nowadays?
You sef no try at all,you are not financially buoyant but harbouring a girl.if she gets pregnant,dat ur love will turn sour.

Kimoni:
So many guys roaming free who should really be in Kirikiri Maximum prison...

3/4 of the political class belong to this group.

u r back. welcome o nd don't leave this long,i miss ur posts.

it's either she is testing u or she is doing the same thing.

na lie jor.

kids.

Sprintson:
How much her movies gross? Mr.Manager u jux deh talk like say u no knw all dis actresses.

even if they Bleep,their male counterparts no dey Bleep?maybe they are virgins,mtchewwwww
most of these actress are not breadwinners in deir families,the males have fathers,mothers,sisters,wives to feed,kids to pay school fees.It is not the same.Men and women in Africa have diferent needs when it comes 2 responsibilities.
The money she bought a car, a man would rather buy land or save to marry.Like i said,acting in 8 movies dat pays u 400k each and businesses here and there will get u there.

freecocoa:
I can't be the only one that thinks Genny and Ramsey had it too, can I? RMD and Stella did kill back in those days, when nollywood still had something worth dashing 1 hour to.

Na wao genevieve and emeka? even muna dey just had two movies together.
Genevieve and ramsey noah,you can't ignore the chemistry.
Genevieve and RMD.too many movies together;keeping faith,passion,love,critical decision.

ojeffo:
Acting....hv u wondered why the male folks aint getting d cars and houses.
Think think think..these female actors been fuuucckkiing our politicians and chopping our tax money!!!!

Even if they Bleep,their male counterparts no dey Bleep?
most of these actress are not breadwinners in deir families,the males have fathers,mothers,sisters,wives to feed,kids to pay school fees.It is not the same.Men and women in Africa have diferent needs when it comes 2 responsibilities.
The money she bought a car, a man would rather buy land or save to marry.

dacovajnr:
I no Understand why dem dey call her actress yet I never see the Movie wey she act..Or another meaning for actress dey ni

The fact dat you haven't seen her movies,doesnt mean that she doesn't act.
Google is your friend.She produced 2 movies now and been acting in most of cinema movies.

what an idiot.

i didnt know dat some "grown ups" still seek validation online.drop ur comment nd mind ur post if u want 2 debate with someone do so without trying 2 form a gang.what is endurance crew again? everyone is entitled 2 their opinion,why concentrate on other people comments?
mtschewww
op u are the one wearing the shoes nd know where it pinches.do whatever feels right.it's ur father nd no one else.the decision is urs entirely.

5minsmadness:
Come and clean it for me na
You know we guys know nothing about keeping a kitchen

lol just try at least twice a week 4 starter.

that stove tho
please clean it.

[b]Women are the architects of their own misery. There will never be equal rights for women in employment, political positions, social ,educationAl and cultural sectors. Women are their own worst enemy , extremely judgemental of one another, envious and hardly supportive of one another. The men will always be dominant in all aspects ,until women learn to stop criticising and condemning each other they will never get to the top. Most of the most successful women in the world are 95% criticised and abused by WOMEN. I wonder the day we will have female governors and a female president , I am certainly sure women will vote her out. Only a woman with a low self esteem will judge another woman just to make herself feel good. A Queen supports and praises a Queen. Women will NEVER get what they truly deserve in this world unless they unite in love . Women are always the first to cast a stone . If you all could spend 80% of the time you spend on being little demons in another woman's life and be more productive and supportive , we will be more respected and valued in our society . #yougiveoutwhatyouget#stopthehatesisters.[/b]

i copied this from caroline instagram and many females celebrities endorsed it.i endorse this too especially with everything i read here on NL from women.Shame on women who are first 2 judge and pull their fellow women down because of difference of opinions.

really? everyone saying no 10 so who are the evil nigerians men i read upandan on nl?

this country is losing it day by day.
how did we reach here?

5minsmadness:
Word.
Time to practice what you preach Buka.

All these pseudo feminsts

On a more serious note. There's nothing much u can do to drastically change things now. I say go to your parents. Let them support you for now. It will also give your husband space to be alone in the house with his thoughts. Hopefully he'll think of something lucrative to do and u can return to your lovely home.

I don't think this is a problem per Se. More like an obstacle. The only issue is that u r pregnant on top. The frustration u r feeling is what we as men feel every once a while as the head of the home. It's part of life.

I thought i was the only one who noticed this.
this nl sweet o.i just read dem and laugh at their hypocrisy.

masonkz:
Thanks for the lookout

you are welcomed,i like ur diary by the way.

akike:
I know that your know them however you do realise that family can be really tricky when it comes to money issues. She might be giving a lot to them but they would rather spend it n something else and come back for more. She could have stopped giving them because of that.

I am curious though. Who cheated first?

question 4 the gods.

[quote author=bolayei post=43240470]This is the most ignorant and unintelligent post on Nairaland.

See ignorance abi na inexposure. Do you know jjc? So u believe he is not hardworking...no nigerian producer have achieved what he has outside nigeria..have you ever heard of big brovas?

Yeah yeah living in past glorey,i beg shift! who talk about bobby brown or mc hammer again?

Do i know he used to pay don jazzy 250£ when don jazzy was training as a producer...do you know he is one of the few brittish citizen living in nigeria. Do you know the difference between develop and undeveloped...

What a childish comment 4rom a man,so what if he used 2 pay jazzy 250£,i hate men who liv in past glory,dey are usually useless nd do nothing in the present just like obj who still claim he helped 2face or blackface.grow up!right now funke and the same don jazzy are fuccking richer dan he is nd famous.

all his kids were born in london where women dont depend on men and yes most guys with game wey no de find papers always move on if girl no fix up. Does he look like a average nigerian with an 18 yrs old child? Well funke is doing the right thing

hahahahaha so according 2 u,kids born in london are little baby JESUS.
women dont depend on men in the uk? what an ignorant fellow.all dis uk single mama queuing 2 receive benefits,most of dem jobless.
what does the bolded even mean? gosh! where do all these ignorant educated illitrate croll from?
for ur information,any man or woman who has a child,in this case 3 kids from 3 different women is an irresponsible bastard! having bastards all over like his dick is some sort of trophy.I pity ur kids nd any woman dat will marry u.Look at the things u qualify as accomplishment.
chei!

akike:
How did you know?

I know becoze i know dem,do i have 2 explain 2 anyone here? so dey dont have friends nd family or workers?

dubylhover:
okk..I'm sorry,seeing as you were d one who introduced them together,you'd know much more better than me about their financial status while courting...and sincerely answer this question,you say she's an interior designer for rich people,don't you think her husbands status gave her upper edge in her client listsince you know them so well,I'm sure youve read about how her brother is still living "not to good"cos it seems ay is punishing her for d infidelity,since she has her own source of income,don't you think she shud have helped her family?

yes i know dem,mabel brother is a tailor a struggling one at dat.she mabel is stingy nothing 2 do with ay,a man treat ur family the way u treat dem.like i said,they met 11 years ago and if u know when ay started comedy show,u will know dat he was not rich 11 years ago,just there trying 2 hustle his way up.she doesnt have 2 meet him poor 2 know she is a good wife.so what if her husband introduced her 2 the business? is he the one working 4 her or she is doing so 4 herself.hian

This irresponsible baby papa that has kids all over London.why is that hard working,intelligent women go for useless men?
why does she always attract these kind of men?I don't see future in dis marriage.

dubylhover:
she knew she had nothing to do...just married ay for money without having any real real source of income,therefore becoming too dependent on her hubby...women are admonished to bring something to d table or else they wud b regarded as liabilities with a very high tendency to b thrown away or in this case abused...tho I'm against domestic violence,but I learnt she cheated....

you people are busybody sha.who told u she married him for money? did ay had money 11 years ago?she met him when he had nothing!just struggling and hustling.They both work hard for what dey have today.she is an accomplish interior designers nd works for many rich people in lagos/abuja. stop saying what u don't know.what broke their marriage is infidelity nd domestic abuse.
She cheated nd he started beating her.

Speechless3:
That's how you end up when you marry because Chidimma, Kemi and Umi are already married.

You rush in, you rush the hell out. Now whats the difference btw you and a mistress or babymama??

Also men would not stop being untrue to themselves. They get married to a "public" or people's kind of woman, all in a bid to show class. They turn a blind eye to all the beautiful decent and wifey materials around just because they dont fit in to our mainstream beauty. What happens to promoting women that have real class, real beauty, character as desirables?

Anyway swallow what karma has brought for you. Your reward for being silly.

Get ur story straight.ay and mabel as well as many of the commedians married women they dated before fame.ay and mabel have been together for 11 years,he wasn't rich but a hustler.He didn't have money,just there.when money comes people should be careful how they live with people dat have been there since day 1.
Mabel and ay cheated on each other and domestic violence become the order of the day beoz trust was lost.Mabel started dating someone very close to ay.