₦airaland Forum

Internet Cafe in 1984?, Haba oga,

the smile

I think Sisimose has said it all, You should always know exactly what you want in anything you do, A girl friend is not a wife and so not a member of your family.

A job brings in money and keeps you going. You thus don't sacrifice this at thr crack of a whining voice.

She may be suspicious, and rightly so, because you stay out late, she may have a case, but where she is not ready to accept your late night, and you dont have another job that gives you time to hang out with her every evening, then one thing would have to give way for the other.

Use your head!!

I think some girls play hard to get because they feel they would be de-valued if they said yes day one. At times this could be true. I have had three real relationships and all but one was very easy, almost like they already liked me and saw no reason to play games.

I think the day of the modern girl is at hand so girls who know their worth agree if they liked you and say an emphatic no where they think you don't worth it. - my opinion

Extreme cases are problematic, I mean I have seen lots of girls that are somewhat over weighted but are sure attractive, and I sure prefer them, I like flesh and I thank God I have some one like that.

This might sound harsh but underweighted ladies scare the hell out of me, and the flatter they get the further I am from them, I am a bit overweighted myself,

I honestly don't believe in the "pretend - you - are - poor thing" when you are rich so that you don't attract the wrong girls, permit me to say its bullsh*t!!

You attract wrong people when you flaunt your wealth, you can be a rich and simple man, not all wealthy people wear crazy and expensive attires and certainly not all drive platinum and chrome plated cars, wise men call these "glittering toys" and unfortunatley they ahve a way of attracting easy girls,

@ topic

I don't think its fair to ask a female friend out, especially when she is involved in a relationship, that does not mean you cannot have a bottle of drinks together, because for all you know, she could even introduce you to a nice girl like herself

@asababoy

You seem surprised that am a guy?, you make me wonder, are you suggesting that guys should not know the stages of development or what?

The stages I referred to are simply stages any team goes through, so where you see yourself as a team - destined to achieve a goal, then you would rightly see your spouse and self as a team, and you best work as a team to achieve your set goals, love, peace, friendship, family, children etc, now would this calm or stir your curiosity, asababoy

I am very sure you are not planing on making her your wife!!!! so why cry over it?, she is playing her game and you are playing yours, so let the hate rest.

You have a choice of dropping the whole game plan, or put her in some "future" plan that would materialize when your jand friend departs.

Hey Man, just a piece of advice here. Kid sister is most likely living in a world of fantasy at the moment. I think she idolizes big sis and sees you as a "larger than life guy" thus the need to strike a relationship with you.

I can assure you that this would most likely not last, she would wake up to reality pretty soon - good thing you are not interested in anything serious with her.

Somehow big sis will be in the know, and guess what?, you would wish you were never in anything like this. steer clear, word of advice

I happy for you o ma broda, now you be ladies man, you could sleep and dump them, ask them to leave you alone, or MARRY ONE OF THEM,

I would assume its only natural that who ever you are dating is proud of you na, otherwise na watin she still dey do with you

I agree that some people are either too shy to say it, and some might feel that it would get to the guy's head, but I think all girls in love with their guys are proud of the guys,

You will meet meet nice people

I am thinking these guys are by now fully acclimatize to Nairaland

Pleeaasee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hardly think Free was responding to you.

My name in Nduleme and am based in Abuja

Give this young man a break!!

He only asked for a colorful person with a bright future in Abuja to be his friend. But what does he get?, a bunch of loud mouthed bitchy ladies that would not close their eyes to the fact that he is entitled to put aright an erring girl friend once in a while, Little wonder why he cannot stand some girls.

I am in Abuja, I think I have a bright future, but I have only one colour - appears am not qualified to be your friend then

Though I think this is coming much too late, but we know a cub today certainly has the features of a lion he will be tomorrow, and there is no gain-saying the fact.

I strongly believe its easy to know a man that would cheat his wife, at the dating stage she would have seen some goings on, probably she would want to ignore them because "she is in love".

My advice for a lady that finds herself in a home that both of them have relationships outside the home, is for her to do a rethink. Since you were rather to accept him inspite of the "little little" sights you saw at your pre-mariage stage, you should be able to hold on.

First 2 wrongs don't make a right, so you should stop it and begin to see see how you can make up with your husband

This thread is obviously dedicated to three individuals, so ama just gonna sit down quietly and watch, and hope someone draws the first blood, I only hope I won't wait for two long

I don't think its the best for a girl (wife) to:

(i) keep secrets from her hubby

(ii) take money from the hubby without permission

But we have come to realize that we are not in a perfect world, so relationships are not perfect either.

I had this girl who is a student, and is financially challenged. She feels shy asking for money, especially if its for some really personal, or sometimes. family issue.

More than once she had picked up money on my table, pockets etc and send me a text like "pls I took N1000 from your pocket to solve a pressing issue, can we not talk about it?". I hardly get upset with her because I think she is matured and sensible and knows what she is doing, most likely she would feel embarrassed raising family issues and asking for my assistance.

Certainly she does not steal this money from me, she is only embarrassed discussing some things with me but hopes that I would understand.

I think you took the best decision, stick by it and you will be better for it, I swear.

I can assure you that you will never find yourself in a relationship where you will be 100% sure that your partner is not seeing someone else. Its a mind thing, I agree that your partner may have created one or two reasons to suspect him, but the truth is that suspiciousness is a thing of the heart.

My advice here is that you should be patient and deal with the relationship with all you have - that is if you love him, I assure you that even if he has a girl outside and you turn out to be better than what is outside, he will have no option than to drop all other relationship.

But when you whine, and complain and suspect and start thinking of a new relationship, then you best take this adage with you - the devil you know,

As you may know, every relationship goes through 4 stages:

(i) forming (ii)Storming (iii)  Norming and (iv) performing.

You have gone through the first stage of the relationship - you have formed a couple

Obviously you are at the second stage of the relationship, which is the storming stage. Here you could be tongue-tied, you could "hate" him, "break-up" with him and generally feel you don't know him. This stage could last for a day, a week, a month or even years depending on the people involved. Unfortunately, at times couple never progress beyond this stage.

It is at the storming stage that both of you really need to talk, because it is at this stage you get to know him, his likeness - some of which you may oppose. His fears, his friends and families and he gets to know yours too.

So baby girl if you don't talk you will NEVER get past this stage, you will storm till you break, and believe me a lot of married couples are still storming.

[quote from uspry][/I think you ought to dig more deeper to find out what your guy's hidden agenda are before you fall over your head.]

If she starts digging at the age of 16 she would eventually dig her grave,

As 16 one should not get too involved with a relationship. As far as I am concerned 4 years difference is not much but it would be best she hangs her interest elsewhere

Na wa o, if a girl is fingered how can she still be a virgin agin

Let me take a wild guess here ; She is certainly not one

@evil mia,

I am truly concerned here, what kind of respond do you expect here?, that someone would ask you to hold on "because he is our bro?", come on,

If I should play the devil's advocate here I would say that when a guy is reluctant to hang around with your friends then maybe he finds them boring, noisy or something. It is also not unheard of that a couple could get physical on their first date, abi u nova hear of one night stand?, and heaven knows lots of "one night stand" stand the test of time.

You said he does not want the relationship blown open in the office, then may be he does not want to mix the office life with his love life, or possibly he had had some bad office relationship and would rather this one is not counted prematurely as one of those, even under this condition it is very possible not to have any qualms taking you out with friends. You can still be open up to your friends, friends would always understand , thats why they are your friends.

Last line: if you are not comfortable with him, let him go, and tell him why you are leaving, it may be he is truly aggressive and needs a bit of changing.

Orinkinla,

I only spent 2 minutes asking myself why you posted this comment. What are you expecting from this quote?, are you saying its wrong?, or that he is a womanizer, or what?,

Wait o Nkem, you be Naija o and not oyinbo, forget your fair complexion, we all have some traditional cloud over us and we are bound to respect institutions.

I have my reservations about sex before marriage (though am a culprit) because the bible made it clear that it is wrong, it called it fornication.

Making out with some one you love is a "crime" that does not hurt anybody and for that reason it is generally acceptable, but I think it is very wrong to have indiscriminate sex. It gets worse, when you completely ignore the institution called marriage and make babes kids and co-habitate, hmmmmmm, I no dey o

If I may ask, why do you need to know if she is a virgin?,

Hey Mella, am not of a big bro, but i guess i have a little line here for you.

For a start you appear to have 2 misgivings - (i) Your age difference and (ii) his preference.

Simple truth is that a relationship is worthless if you don't feel comfortable in it. I mean why do you want to be in a relationship?, Is it because others have guys and you need to show off? If that is the case then its more of having an item with you for others to see.

But where you are truly ready to have a guy, I swear you wont be asking if 4 years difference is anything. Your love for him would be age-blind.

I think his preference is even more of an issue that you ought to tackle, otherwise, baby girl you will have a sad story to tell.

Having said all these I think I should tell you what I would have told my kid sister if she was to come up with a question like this. I would tell her that at that age you should be more focused in making your grades. There is nothing wrong though in having a guy, but it should NOT be a priority - you will have guys, and lots of them (if you so desire), but for now, get married to your text books

Hey Gina we can have a deal, can't we?, call me nduleme and I call you Gina