₦airaland Forum

informatix: This Film have been Banned by National film and Video Cencorship Board. Nairaland please remove this link. Bako himself is already under surveilance by DSS.

Let the Federal Government go phuck itself. Nairaland ain't removing nothing. This video will spread like wildfire and I will do my bit to make sure it spreads far and wide.

[quote author=Murder_X]You asked a question and I'm answering my bit. I can't speak for every Nigerian Parent. Sexual desire is a natural instinct, I didn't create it so I wouldn't attempt to restrict his/her self discovery all I can do is guide their understanding.[/quote]It's interesting to see a Nigerian who takes a liberal stance on this issue as against the pseudo-conservative attitude of most Nigerians. Thanks for your contribution.

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oyinbogirl: No, im not. I dont hold those beliefs. the spirit i was referring to is the life force, what makes us alive and move etc..to me a baby definetly has life force 9or spirit) by at least 5 th week after conception by which it has a beating heartt and brainwaves. So thats what spirit means to me, simply put its our life force, the spark that makes us alive. Rather like electricity does to an appliance. So since an unborn baby moves , has heartbeat and can perform bodily functions, would you not agree it has a life force alredy? Taking that first breath is just air, the moment the child can sustain him or herself for a separate life on the outside, cos we all sure know breathing on the inside is impossible. So spirit to me = life force or energy

Hmmmmmmm....Makes sense.

oyinbogirl: when did you think then?

I don't have any opinion on this. I'm just curious as to what the answer might be.

slimyem: ^well,I'm not proferring a solution to this issue as it seems.That'd be another angle entirely.I'm just trying to see things from our parents' point of view though warped it seems.Isn't our culture and right behaviour intertwined in this case?

I'm not in a position to judge whether our parents thinking are warped or not. I will have kids of mine some day and they will also pass through teenage years. My partner and I have divergent opinions on this issue. I have made my position clear that I will not encourage my teenage kids to have sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends under my roof. Although she understands my argument, she see nothing wrong with it as she was brought up under a different culture.

Culture is a society's adopted way of life at a particular point in time. I say this because, like most things, culture is susceptible to the flowing river of change. Right behavior on the other hand, is too vague and broad to define. Doing so might lead us to a long winding argument bordering on philosophy and religion. I'm afraid I'm in no mood to tread that path.

slimyem: ^You know how they say what you don't know won't harm you?
I think that the issue with our parents.All is well as long as they don't know its happening or they just feel safer assuming its not happening.The home or their roof is one territory where the can exert more control so it figures why it is a NO for sex by teens under it.

As per the right behaviour and conformity thing,I think we are but not in all senses so lemme just say i was talking "in this sense" not generally.Sex and dressing are still a conservative topic.
On other facets of the society,we are plagued by too many issues and the rot is too deep ethical judgement most times does not stand a chance.

Are you saying parents can condone their teenage children having sex as long as they don't know about it? Don't you think it will be better if parents confront this issue head-on and deal with it, however embarrassing and inconvenient it might be, than to pretend it doesn't happen and face an ugly scenario later in future?

Are you also saying our response and attitude to sex and dress mode is to a large extent culture specific and NOT based on "right behavior" ?

yellowpawpaw: @op,I went tru all ur post here,why r u bent on bashing nigeria? This is good topic for discussion.go straight to topic and stop generalizn it.I'm happy to know u r a nigerian who happend to find himself in another man's country made what it is by their citizens! If u want to condenm nigeria,why not create a thread for it than this?I tire for some people. To ur topic,in as much as we r all civilised and want the best for our kids,there r things better left un imagined.I will lv to know who hangs out with my kids but can't imagine my child and her date copulating under my roof! I should also provide d condom! I believe that at that age,I should hv tot my gal enof sex education that will enable her make a good choice in life.even if its done in my house(of which it happens like dat most times)let me not be aware of it.

I will be very glad if you can quote the posts where I allegedly "bashed" and "condemned" Nigeria. Until then...

oyinbogirl: i would say from conception

It's hard to prove.

biolabee: It does not reflect cos we are a nation of hypocrites

I agree with you on this one.

slimyem: Nigerian parents don't even endorse their teenage children having girlfriends or boyfriends not to talk of having sex under their roof.
What can faa?
As a teenager in nigeria,everything sexually you do has to be literally unknown to your parents. Nigerian parents are not as liberal as parents in the west.We are a people still conformed to a standard of right behaviour operative on ethical judgement.

Thanks for your contribution.

I grew up in Nigeria and know what you are on about. None of us dared bring a girlfriend home in our teenage years. You would be asking for BIG trouble if you ever did. However, that didn't stop us from attempting or doing naughty things.
Let's face it. It well known teenagers are raging wild with active hormones. This stage of their lives is quite delicate and they most often succumb to peer pressure. If they don't "do it" under your roof, trust me, the more daring ones will "do it" elsewhere.

The bolded caught my attention and got me asking questions. Are Nigerians truly a people "conformed to right behavior operative on ethical judgement?" What is "right behavior?" Why does it not reflect on all facets of of the Nigerian society? or does this "right behavior" apply only to sexual conduct?

biolabee: And you accused others of being closed minded

What is your agenda with this topic
To bash the poor people in naija right or wat exactly is meant by liberalness etc bla bla bla

You know the right thing or more politically correct the ethical thing and even some viewers in the show you watched said as much
The fact that modern realities have laid to bear new strategies to protect kids from s.exual infections still does not mean a parent will dance azonto when his daughter or son is being poked or poking someone else

Ish




Liberalism indeed

You guys really need to stop this now and act like grown ups. This is unnecessary.

[quote author=Murder_X]I'ld encourage them to have a boy/girlfriend, someone of good character and from a known good home. What goes on in their rooms with their lovers is their business.[/quote]You think there are Nigerian parents who would allow their teenage children take their boyfriends/girlfriends into the privacy of their rooms? I'm really intrigued by your liberal perspective.

candygosh: The topic requires thinking
In my opinion, granting ur kids the freedom to explore their sexual fantasies makes one a loose parent with Loose kids. Nevertheless, it can Help in strengthening the bond between them as it gives the kids the freedom to express emotions n wants.

On the other hand, if one fails to let them do their Thing under ones roof, then doing it outside is not good too.
It won't give room for The prefect bonding.
Hence, teen shys away from such discussion.

It all boils down to training up ur child the way He should go and when he is old as the Bible Says he won't depart from it.

Thanks for your intelligent contribution. You make a lot of sense.

MsDarkSkin:

yeah..it's a bad habit.
and from the looks of it,
it seems you have that "problem" as well.

** **

Uh oh! Seems like it's gonna be a long day.

*wears his sunshades like a boss*

Xavier1976: Really, cos it was asked in UK TV doesn't make it an "ok" question. Ask yourself, if the teenager is your daughter what would be your response? So that's your answer!

Gods of the sky and earth!!! What in Odin's name is an "ok" question? Am I a kid that I shouldn't ask questions just because they may be offensive? Read through the various posts again. Nowhere did I endorse allowing your teenage children to have sex under your roof or ban them from doing so. I am just sampling the opinion of the Nigerian public on this controversial issue.

MsDarkSkin: girl you are off the charts with these naomi gifs!

*steals them 4 future reference*

Lol... You doing those things again... You know, the words between asterisks.

*whistles and walks away*

biolabee: Dude calm down and drink some kool aid

I answered your q

No parent will normally permit such; that meanin it does not happen either under their roof or elsewhere



Go and carry your frustration elsewwhere

Thanks for your contribution.

May you find solutions to all your challenges.

biolabee: Dude your question no make sense

The fact that it may happen does not mean it is permissible which is the operative word here

Your aggressive stance is befuddling. Is this a behavioral trait in most Nigerians? Why must they start the answer to questions with an aggressive tone? Does is portray intelligence or an underlying frustration with the general situation of the country? It most sincerely baffles me!

If my question made no sense, why did you answer it then?

I just asked a question to sample people's opinion on this issue. I don't see why it should start WW3

It is my sincere desire to see Nigerians at the forefront of the emancipation of the black race. For far too long we have invested our time and energy in things that do not contribute to the mental and infrastructural development of our continent. At this point in history, the youths of Africa should be courageous to face and overcome the many challenges our parents couldn't handle. Appreciating our music is welcome but when it goes beyond mere appreciation and descends into this show of shame that is often associated with recent front page materials on Nairaland, then we have to seriously consider our destination.

Lolaabokoku: u should knw the answer to ur question

This question was asked on a show here in the UK called Loose Women. The responses of the audience varied and some were quite controversial. My partner, who is white British, asked me to pose the question on this forum to see how the Nigerian public will respond.

So far the response has not been encouraging.

quest003: i cry for you, your lyf has nep2rad

Cry yourself a river hombre. I just asked a question.

Hi all,

I was just wondering if there are any parents with teenage children who face this dilemma.

Would you allow your teenage children have sex with their peers under the same roof as you, where you know they are safe or would you rather ban them from doing this and then not care to know if they have elsewhere?

Thanks for your contribution.

*make I clear this land come build house on top am.*

NEWSFLASH: nep2ra is dating someone's daughter!!!

sheyie2007: na wa o..people de oo

Na wa oooo...Some people sef sabi the tin come dey form Prophet Elijah.

[quote author=32-D][size=18pt]pops collar[/size][/quote]Guy, nothing do you. You too much jaree! When Vaseline don finish, switch to Engine Oil.

Classic quote: "Religion is the enemy. Africans are the victims."

mobuch: Excuse me sir, permit me to say that you are deluded and you seriously need to see a shrink.
Your illogical experiments are gradually leading you to a permanent apartment at yaba left.Thank you sir.

Be careful how you talk to people especially people on online forums. You don't want to push people to see what stuff they are made of. Some people are not ordinary. That's all.

Billyonaire: Call me names, ofcourse, thats what the ignorant people do. There is nothing like God and Devil, but you can say God or Devil. Cos its a neutral force with positive and negative polarity, it the force that the universe, in essence, what you call God is same thing called the Devil, in opposite Polarity.

My, my, my!!!

philips70: Will you just shut the Bleep up?

Fly on the wall. What's up with the misplaced aggression?

And if I don't shut up, can you tell me what you gonna do about it.