₦airaland Forum

Betty's gaze can kill......


Hell hath no fury.........like a woman scorned.

Another yet lesson for the people that hold on to life as if it's eternal...death is inevitable to all...and no man knows his date of death.



They're calling you today because you're here...once you die... they'd call the next person.... imagine people laughing and jubilating yesterday when the swearing in of the deputy was ongoing....these were the people that once worked with Aketi...wine and dine with him and call him Boss....in less than 24hrs ... they're jubilating and celebrating another.


E gbaye serere....awaye malo kan o si....gbogbo wa la o lo.

Keledua dakun dabo mase jeka bojo olojo lo.Ase.



RIP Aketi

ahnie:
I want to add weight and I have tried everything possible to gain weight all to no avail.

I have taken drugs aids one to gain weight but non worked.
I have eaten lots of noodles and fried eggs,eaten overnight,but the weight is not just weighting.


Please help recommend what to do so I can gain weight.
My current weight is 68kg.

Attached is a recent pics of me 26/12/2023.

Be grateful for how God created you...many are dying to be just like you.


Obesity has high health risk.

UselessBuharist:
May his soul rest in peace

Amen.

Foodqueen:
Are you sure, he's still single.

Don't become a side chick to your husband.

LOL

Kobojunkie:
It is not easy but it is better than deceiving yourself believing you can make gold out of what may be absolute poop --- a man who abandoned even his own children --- through this restitution idea that popping up in to your head.

Hmmmmmmm

TheWinterBird:
And despite him telling you that, you want to go back to him? A broken home in which you're raising your kids by yourself but in a healthy, sane environment that's conducive to their wellbeing is better than an abuse, unhealthy home in which your lives are at risk. It's best you continue moving forward and not look back. This is not a man you should go back to.

As for you fending for your kids yourself, why don't you just file for divorce in order to get child support from him? Based on your other threads that I just read, you mentioned you were paying for everything when living together anyway, so it's no surprise he's not giving you a dime now to take care of them. You picked the wrong man to have kids with, dang. Just face front and keep moving forward. I wish you the best.

Reason why many found my situationship/stupidity appalling.

We were never legally married and don't think we have a case in the court....moreso I detest confrontations...the bills has not been easy to pay but through hardwork and contentment... I've been trying...there are times it'd be chokey and burdening...those times I ask friends and family for support.



Without someone dragging him....a responsible father should cater for his kids irrespective of the relationship between the couple....I have many male around me whom can't eat until their family are okay....

Let's say I'm just not fortunate to have a caring dad for them.


I would be facing front until I heal up completely.... thanks for wishing me all the best ma.

TheWinterBird:
Ma'am, you want to return to a man who was physically and verbally abusive towards you and your kids. With all due respect and I ask this sincerely because I mean well for you: have you no sense? If you were lucky enough to get out alive and in one piece and have been raising your kids by yourself for the past 10-years, the worst thing you can do is go back to him as he will ruin everything you've built and worked hard for, and may also make it difficult for you to leave this time around. No one will come to your rescue again

As for this so-called counselor, it seems he has appointed some blame towards you, which may be one reason you're considering going back to this abusive man. I need you to know that there's absolutely no justification for abuse and any counselor who wants you to share in that blame is no good counselor. It's best for women who have been victims of abuse/domestic abuse/domestic violence to see counselors who are also women, not men.

Anyways, do not go back to this abusive man. Continue facing front and raising your kids. If you don't care yourself, at least consider them and continue doing right by them as you've been doing.

We lived together for and he left the week we ought to be 10yrs...this whole drama started in 2021 and we've been living apart ...I have sense... it's my belief and emotions that's making me look stupid.


My mentor said we were childish at initial stage when the drama began until he left the kids and I.....my mentor never for once agree I go back to him cos he already saw everything I've been and going through....he kept encouraging me to move on and see strength in my weakness


When he came around in August...I was severally scolded by my mentor... family members and friends for being stupid again.


My kids are growing well.... especially my 9yrs+ boy whom had the first hand experience of everything.....I just don't want to raise them in a broken home.... they're doing well and God is helping us.

I hope to be strong going forward.....every other person sees strength in me while I feel otherwise.



I pay our rent.. kids tuition...my tuition...daily upkeep and utilities.... it's just absurd how he never cared about it all...was the 10yrs of living together a fraud? Am I being used all along? These and many more were the questions I do ask myself.


When I try telling him how the kids are asking about him... he'd say he's been living fine without us and would continue to be...those words hurts.

Kobojunkie:
1. The fears you still harbor towards single parenting seem to be what is causing these delusions of restitution to creep up. Rather than pursue this restitution idea, I suggest you instead focus on overcoming your fear/terror of single parenting. While you claim your counselor convinced you that your immaturity contributed to your husband abusing you — i am not sure what sort of counselor does that...did he also help you see that you may have even been single-parenting your kids even while you were playing "married woman"?

2. Stop hiding your fear of single-parenting behind this restitution nonsense. Focus first on overcoming that fear you have of single-parenting. That is most likely the reason behind this desire for restitution with an abusive element.

1. My mentor also always mentioned your number one point that...it was fear that's making me have thoughts of him which he believed I can someday overcome if I work hard at it.....the immaturity part was when he newly started getting to know me and my situationship



2. Thanks so much ma.... I'd keep trying.... it's just not easy.

TheWinterBird:
They've really ruined this place by the constant and intentional chaos they come in here to cause. That must be why beautiful Descarado no longer posts either. This thread isn't the same without some of you good peeps in it.

Add prestonn to the list


Cococandy rarely posts too ...not only on this food thread.


Talk about the educating parts of Nairaland...no post from explorer again... chatinent...nwaamaikpe etc....all we have now is tribalism...scammers...lil kids trolling and lots more.


It takes grace for Nairaland to have come this far as a website... Seun should just double his hustle and re-orientate his mods...even lalasticlala no dey among the mods again.

Xosh:
Folykvze1 is still online I'll give you my one cent as a man,please Do not ever make the mistake of going back to an abuser.

For a man to lock the wife and kids out in the middle of the night several times without remorse speaks alot about his background.

I m an old user and knows you storyline here,kindly let go of that man,if you let him in,it is going to be the worst mistake of your life

It was even worse than sending out at night.....not calling to check on the kids while we were apart ....not to talk of asking if we're surviving or not......when he was leaving in that August...he said I was trying to use the kids as a bait back to him which is ridiculously annoying.


But Xosh.... I've stepped on many legs for not letting go of my feelings and tagged different names.


I just pity myself for ending up this way despite how much I worked and committed to making this relationship work.

infogenius:
Good Afternoon Omoluabi.

Going through ur post got me laughing really loud and i will tell u y in my response to the folowing



My dear, gone are the days were women were ready to die to make a relationship or a marriage work. If the relationship is toxic and not working, its better to abandon and embrace what will work in one's life to make life better off.

A relationship with anyone is to add to ur life and once the relationship is not beneficial in a any form, which includes improving your mental health, social well being and ur person in general etc. It isn't worth it. kolework

I have in my social circle women that against all odds walked out of toxic marriages. They have kids, one of them a very very good friend. Her husband is well known to me but he is not my friend, possibly just an acquaintance.
We had spent some time together at various times in the past. 

They separated while was pregnant with her third child. The man left her homeless and  without a job and two kids. I don't like remembering those dark years.
She had practically called me to tell me that she wanted to terminate that pregnancy because of what she was going through.
Did she love the man? Yes she did after all that was why she married him.The lady did most of the work in the home from income generation to household duties. The man just lazied around, hung out with his friends in the evening to smoke and drink.

Just like any man in that sphere, he womanized heavily. Yet her woman didn't really mind but prayerfully hoped he would change.
But when it gets to the point that he would beat her in their compound just because he has been found out that he's sleeping with a neighbor.
It tells you how bad it got.

Well, my friend has been separated for 4 yrs, in this four yrs she's been able to build her life back, doing well as a businesswoman, will complete her master degree in Law this month and recently got a good job in an oil and gas firm.Her three children are doing well.
She's not in any romantic relationship at the moment.

Incidentally the man wants to come back into her life to make her life more miserable than he left it. Because he perceives money and good life

Y am I telling you this is for u to properly assess if ur relationship with ur man is worth given a try again.
If the relationship will make u a better woman.
Honestly Forget it!




I am beginning to think so too. However, it happens like that sometimes. This trash we call love can make one so stupid. You really need to pull urself back together.
This is important. Don't make urself a tool to be used. Ur man is a N/lander and will read this.
So many things will go over his mind.
As a result, you could be making urself very vulnerable especially if he doesn't give a hoot about u and how u feel.

If he still loves you and still wants to share his life with you, good.

But if he doesn't babe, there is no point MOVE ON and Forget HIM. 

U will be very crazy to attract his sympathy through this post and get served HOT LUNCH on a sunny day after all u been served breakfast already.



Must it be with HIM?



Ask your heart again what restitution u should be making is all about. Don't let your emotions fool you again. Afterall it led you to where you are today. 
Look at areas in your life you should develop in the coming year, this makes more sense to me than craving for a guy that may not even be thinking about you.



Reframe your mind. Reframe your mind. Men can be scums too

U are obviously making bigger mistakes telling him u still love him openly despite everything he's done to u.
U are simply saying hey guy, kill me if u like i won't stop loving u but i am sure in ur dying moments u will hate the day u met him.Don't wait till then, use ur head, but if he reaches out for reconciliation u can consider of course after weighing so many factors but if he doesn't my dear, move on.

In conclusion, we have had to let go of many valuable things in our lives which includes people at certain points whether it was convenient for us or not and we didn't die but got much more valuable things, built better relationships and became even better.

New and better things only happened to us because we let those old things go.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


Thanks so much for your input... I'm sorry for being realistic about my emotions publicly.

RIP to the lost innocent souls.


Mr Seun... please do something about the tribal war going on in Nairaland b4 it flows offline.


Imagine the whole front page filled with tribalism and no sympathy for the lost souls or reasonable comments.


This wasn't the educating Nairaland I signed up for in 2012.

It's disheartening.

Mindlog:
-You still love him but does he still love you?
-Has he verbalized his willingness to jointly work around those imperfections?
-Has he proven through words and actions, that he is eager to rebuild the marriage?

I'm not sure as we never discussed... through out this 2023... maybe we spoke up to 5times on phone.....

There was a time around August that we met for days and considering make up...then I received a call again and he went all loose saying I don't want to change....I don't regard him receiving a man's call while he's sitted.... he's always very jealous and we never talked since then.

Good morning familylanders and compliment of the seasons to us all.


I'm making this post ....not to justify an abusive marriage...but to state the few facts I've gotten in over a decade of being in that institution.... I'd happily welcome more contributions and advise from the responsibly married men and women on here.


Few years ago...I created several threads to narrate the things I'm going through in my home when the heat was becoming hellish and nothing was seemingly right....I was giving a lot of matured advice... scolding and bashing on here ...then few people insisted I go on a break as the union was too toxic and might lead to crime if not checked.

We did went our separate ways.,...so far...it gave room for self-reflection and analyzing the past present and future.....my greatest nightmare while growing up was single parenting....I detest it with everyone in me... reason why I patiently endured all the abuses until it was becoming too toxic ... sending my kids and I out at night... hitting and verbal abuses....


I realized within the separated moments that I wasn't perfect either...met a counselor whom helped my growth ....he practically and patiently nurtured my mindset and weaknesses...I wouldn't mention his monicker...he stressed how childish we both were and how the things that caused the uproar shouldn't have been if we both approached it maturely ...and many more day-to-day counseling...*thanks Boss
..for all that you've done*


Despite all that I've been through...I realized that I couldn't let go of what I had for him....I tried as much as possible to resent him for all the abuses... several men sprung up to take his place...I couldn't just see myself opening up for any ....it beats me how annoying it is not to move on despite being the victim .....it ripped my heart seeing my kids ask about him....I fought several depression battles....I wish I could just let go of the past...move on and forget everything that has to do with him....I still shoulder my kids and I's responsibilities yet still harboring his thoughts...my sister is sick of my stupidity...some friends and family members thought I'm being enchanted....


Though we're not rich...but my kids and I have been doing fine without his presence..we live within our means.... it's just crazy how I desire we live together as a family.

We're approaching a new year...and the thoughts of RESTITUTION kept springing up in my heart... it's crazy ..I never discussed it with anyone even my trusted mentor...I believe I can do it...we both have our shortcomings and flaws...I just wish we could work around those imperfections...we separated after 10yrs...I believe we can do better if we uniformly work on our differences....I don't see myself going into another relationship now or in the future.....I don't want to get entrapped into single parenting....I don't want to live in regrets ..I just want to be a happy wife...mother and companion which I believe is doable.


For the people whom already knew my story on here ..... please advise me...is this RESTITUTION worth it? Despite the hurt...the abuses and disappointments....I still love him... insults are allowed as usual....I just don't want to be making more mistakes to correct the former.



Cc

Mindlog
Oldienavie
Infogenius

BlueRayDick:
Sorry , I got tired of the trolls and those who engage them here …. I zoned out .

It's a crazy forum bro .. unlike our good old days Nairaland...I just miss seeing those fresh fish of yours ni

Ignore the trolls... come on once in a while...do your thing and look away.


Many responsible and matured persons are now on ghost mode here cos of the trolls and parasites that turned every thread to a begging thread...with the heated tribalism going on here....I hope Seun develop a means of correcting the madness b4 it goes out of hand.

Our kitchen is a bit dry this afternoon...I guess our chefs are still busy in the kitchen... we're anticipating delicious meal o.

Akposy

GboyegaD

Prestonn

Mariah angel


Cococandy

Blueraydick

Mannabbqgrils

Ahnie

Etc.

Make una feed our eyes

Merry Christmas to Seun Osewa and every nairalanders.

Aseyi samodun lola Olorun oba.

ElohimShenRa:
This is my problem with you people. How can they maltreat you everywhere you go if you’re not criminals?

Shey Na our bad leaders send you to go & be peddling & trafficking Cocaine abroad?

Abi Na our leaders send you to go and be constituting nuisance in every Country you go?

Your leaders are bad, then hold them accountable like is done in every other Country in the World.

Stop using that watery excuse to perpetrate crimes abroad and then turn around to type nonsense on the internet.

The Ghanaians do not want you in their Country, pack your loads and relocate back to your villages.

Nigerians are robbing them & dispossessing them of their valuables, just like they did in Dubai and South Afrika - and you expect them not to butcher you to death?

A Ghanian spotted.


Be calming down bro...I never even reach airport once in my life not to talk of going abroad to constitute nuisance....I made my comment based on the news I read daily.


Moreso...not all the Nigerians in diaspora are bad...many are making us proud out there while the "abiiko...akooigba..Omo osan tin ko pompo baya e.....and amunibuni eran Ibiyes " . Amidst them are giving us bad names...u can use google for the translation



God helping... should I find my way out of the country... I'd never be part of the bad eggs soiling the good reputation of this nation.... I'd maximize my opportunity and legally make my country proud of me.

Ahnii:
I feel your pains .i have what you LL never have in this life...A stable home,a nice family and absolute peace of mind which are luxuries you cannot afford.
Glad you noticed my always being happy

My spouse hasn't caught me with any man...But can the same be said of about you?

You're a secondhand husband...in your second marriage ,your first wife was caught with a common fish despot driver,she was so local that she couldn't upped her game..lolxx
If you must eat frog atleast eat the one wey dey fleshly and croaking well...But your useless first wife disappointed the sisterhood....imagine getting laid by a comot ejan kika driver.


You n I know say...the Child she had for you isn't yours...But that of the fish despot driver.DNA kit don cheap now...if e sure for you go and buy it .

Happiness is Frrrrrrrreeeee,peace of mind is a LUXUrrrrrry.

Your second wife came into marriage with her daughter she had for another man,...imagine two damaged homosapiens coming together.

You had better go buy the DNA kit to test the new baby she has for you...to avoid make the rain wey beat you the first time nor beat you the second time.

You Don send private mails to me tire...I nor go reply any of them.peppering you is my hobby.you ve bn stalking someone's wife for 3 years now...your case don pass curse.

I won't be surprised if it turns out you also slept with your first child.
One useless .....woman dey one side dey call this useless .....thing HUSBAND.


Another useless man on nairaland...foolish... punter...your useless .....mother .needs... to be nuke.

Chai!

See finishing?

Ahnii dey take am easy on this people na

You'd be a very fun to be around and no-nonsense lady offline....on gba lori yin truly

Welcome back Ahnie

If you open 100new account you'd get busted immediately because you are always real and never fake it...reason why many people likes your personality on here and many trolls kept hating on you cos your chosen way of living is too simple for their reprobate and fake mind to comprehend.


Keep being you... darling Sis

Compliment of the seasons .
Regards to the lovely kids and Odogwu.

JohnAOne:
You report to the mods BUT I have reported you to God for bringing one of His favourite sons to disrepute.

YOU WILL FAIL IN EVERYTHING YOU DO HENCEFORTH.

I never meant to intrude in your conversation Sir...but I just need to call your attention to this... please stop laying curses on the this person... it's his personal opinion he quoted and laying curses on others doesn't portray a good and born again christian.


Despite how Jesus Christ was humiliated.. tortured.. bruised and crucified..he never laid curses on any man but still plead that God forgives them for they know not what they are doing.


As Christians...we ought to be the light of the world.... people no longer read bible but reads through we the so called christian.....live and exemplary christ-like lifestyle that win souls and not bringing damnation unto others.......no man can defend or fight for God...the curses ain't necessary in it's entirety.


Shalom

It is wrong to me.... despite being a worker in his ministry.



He ought to reject the offer no matter how much the king persuade him to sit due to respect and belief.


Even Jesus said we should give unto Caesar that which belonged to Caesar.


It's humility on the king's part but not good for the Yoruba culture.


Oba ma n ba Lori oun gbogbo ni.... irrespective of the subject's age..class.. affluence...or hierarchical level of life.

Say NO to cultism!


If you're innocent...I wish you quick recovery IJN.

Nigerians are being maltreated almost everywhere cos of our bad leaders and the bad eggs representing us in the diaspora.

15k broilers

8-10k old layers

Family section Obavoh the father of many nations

Mindlog for giving impactful and professional comments

Food section..GboyegaD for always giving us Beautiful Yoruba delicacies

I wonder where prestonn is ...

Ahnie for always giving her trolls back to back

Our respected chef Akposy .....mehn! God bless you for feeding our eyes with healthy food even when we no fit cook dem

Mariahangel the dodo lover

Mama cococandy for her stylish and classy way of doing things.

Jeon and siofra on the romance section for always giving it to Nigeria men...lol


Mannabbqgrils on politics section for being the most insulted but never giving a Bleep ma'am or sir


9jacover 4 always giving bad news

KingOG 4 always posting gory pictures to prove Nigerians are more brutal than the south Africans


Make I drop mike.


I miss lalasticlala sha and explorers.

The shutdown indicated that Nairaland can only appear to be a faceless forum but it isn't.... reason why every user should be mindful of what they post on here... there's freedom of speech but safety isn't guaranteed after the speech.... especially the politics section.

If you've been a regular member on here for years.. you'd agree with me that there are big politicians in that politics section that disguise with silly monickers.


Watch your back my people.....many has made it through the connections they got on here while few had been jailed or killed for their uncouthness on here.


May we never be a victim of evil circumstances in life IJN.




Shalom

She's into you...or you're giving her the attention that makes her comfortable around you.

UselessBuharist:
Same to you mama, how is your family

We're doing well... thank God Sir.

How's she? And HE(the prince)

Holla at me if U don show 4 area 4 yuletide

UselessBuharist:
I want to know why I can’t quote your moniker

Merry Christmas and happy New Year in advance Sir.

LooneyLester:
Ahnie is that you ??

Not at all Sir/ma.

I'm so glad that Nairaland is now working again.


I was worried in the past 2days of no connection......I have no other social media I frequent like Nairaland and I'm going to miss a lot on here...like the food thread m.. family section and the gbas gbos on politics section


Welcome back Seun Osewa