₦airaland Forum

pocohantas:
She isn’t the only one with a child for them.

so re d rest. Sophia is from a reputable family, d other based abroad & don't live in social media like chioma naa

Brighton1:
My post might be lengthy, but Pls read because I need advice.

I've been living in Lagos for 5yrs now, even before the death of my father (R.I.P). I lost my dad 4yrs ago. I'm the eldest and I have two younger ones. I'm a contractor.

My mom and my siblings are based in ekpoma edo state. I call them regularly, I advice them, I send them money for up-keep, I visit home once in a while. I play both role of a father and elder bro to my siblings. I don't want them feel the absence of my father.

My construction team got a contract at Auchi, it was an opportunity for me to visit home often.

My younger sister is a 300L student in AAU. She is 22yrs old, she don't read, she's always on social media (tik tok & Co.) Nobody can touch her phone, if my lil bro wants to browse something important or play game with her phone, she will just be screaming at him as if Ogun is about to strike her... Don't touch my phone o, drop it down.

Even the phone (iPhone 7) I was the one who gave it to her when I bought my current phone (Samsung). I promised my lil bro he shouldn't worry, as soon as I get paid for the job I'm currently working on, I will get him a phone before I travel back to Lagos.

Okay, Yesterday I only said, now that ASUU is on strike, find something to do, get busy, learn a skill, even if it's fashion designing, make-up or catering.

She was just giving me flamzy excuses, and the annoying part is she will be raising her voice while talking to me. I almost used a belt to flog her if not for my mom that held me.

My father's house is a bungalow, and we have a tanent, Anytime I receive the house rent (200k yearly) I send everything to my mother. My mom would be like I should hold some for myself but I said NO, they need it more.

AAU school fees is now x4 compared to what I paid back then when I was there. Yet I'm the one providing 80% of her school fees while my mom 20%.

My Lil bro who's just 18 yrs old is more hardworking than her, he goes to my mom's shop to help her out, he's learning how to cut hair and he plays instruments very good (piano & bass guitar). He plays for a church that pays him 5k per week (he plays weds & sun for the church). I pray uniben grant him admission this year.

My father was a nice man, he disciplined us and his death won't change that. I want him to be proud of me wherever he is now.

Nairaland family, I need your advice. My sister depend so much on the money I give her. I don't want her to be a leech.

listen my dear one. I am glad u observed d dysfunctional behavioral patterns in her. Yes ur feelings & concerns re very valid. She is 22yrs Old fully conscious of her behavior & d effect it has on loving family members around her, as well as other humans who may encounter her at work place, school, church, neighborhood, or meet _ greet as such knows what accountability is. Ve u tried to communicate with her, about how such behavior of hers affects u as her sibling, even ur other younger one. Let her know u re not her father first of all, & u owe her no such responsibility that u took up & she is a full fledged adult. That whatever u do for her is out of love & compassion & that u can afford to spare some cash to support her ( that's d main reason. Not out of responsibility) & that u both grew up together as blood that's y.

Go ahead to tell her if she continues to behave in such, & such ( name d behavior that u re worried about & effects on u) manner towards u & ur other sibling, that u will have to withdraw urself & protect urself mentally, emotionally, financially & psychologically from her. Let her know that u ve expectations of her towards u give examples, to give her insight ( e.g I will like u not to speak to me in a raised voice, or in a condescending manner as u re doing rn. (State clear consequences) if u don't stop speaking to me dis Way rn, dis conversation is over. End it & Walk away. Collect urself from from her. Build a wall to protect u. Let her know that blood isn't thicker than peace of mind, & just because One is family doesn't give them d right to cause chaos in ur life or around it, drama & disrespect. Do not tolerate it. Assert urself.. tell to pick up a skill or struggle while u support her with half. Mske sure she keeps d end of ur bargain. Cut allowances now. Let her get vacational jobs there re bars ,& big supermarkets which employ student during holidays, she should not be idling around during breaks yes. Their re student that sell stuff there in d hostel give her like 40k to buy thing & sell too At least that one will be for feeding or hairdo & other things. Pay half of d school fees. She will, never be grateful in d future, she is entitled. Dis is narcissism right here do not enable it. Run to ig & follow @afriproud message her & Thank me later.

pocohantas:
I suspect they had issues. What I found funny was that people convinced themselves Chioma cheated on Davido with Peruzzi. The fact that his family still kept her close was a proof that Davido was the problem and whatever issue they had could be settled.

she has a child for them, hence will be close

yemi1504:
My exact opinion too! The two worst people to live with are those that are either negligent by being lazy or wicked in my opinion.

If she was a nurse or doctor, such negligence can't be overlooked. There Sha heavy penalties & jailterm of cause _ license revoked.

Theonlysonofher:
While others are celebrating the new year today I am here sobbing because my marriage is at the verge of breaking.

I loved my wife with all my heart but I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she has done to my mother.

I am the only child of my mother. I have three sisters on my father's side.
I am married with two beautiful daughters. my mother suffered from diabetes, bp and high cholesterol. She is on a special diets strictly no salt or too much sugar.

She came to stay with me because the person who was taking care of her wasn't doing her job properly so I had to bring her to my house so I will be monitoring her health.

I have a house help who prepares all her meals with less salt and she also makes sure she takes her medicines on time without fail.
Everything was fine, my mother is not a troublesome person, she gets on well with my wife and most of the time she is in her room resting.

On the 20th of December my house help had traveled to the village to see her people and she will be back in January 4th so my wife and I have to take care of my mother making sure that her foods is less salty and medicines on time.

Since I am always working so my wife had to take most of the responsibility. It is only for a week and fews days until the house help is back.

She had agreed to take care of my mother during this periods of time and I thought everything was fine but I noticed my mother become distant and tired unlike her and I had no idea that she was actually dying and I have never suspected that my wife was maltreating her.

So Thursday being 30th December I was at work when my wife called and asked me to join her at the hospital because mama had a seizure.

I rushed to the hospital and my mother was in a coma state and I asked her what happened to mama, she said mama woke up that morning complaining about shortage of breath and she told her to go back to bed and rest hoping she will be fine by the time she will wake up.
Only for mama to fall off the ground and started shaking with foam coming out of her mouth.

I was in panicked I couldn't stop praying for my mother to get better and I didn't leave the hospital, my wife went home to take care of the children because she has left them with the neighbour and I had spend all night prayer vigil at my mother's bedside and glory be to God my mother woke up yesterday being 31st but the doctor report was not a good news for me.

Actually my mother was poisoned with salt and guess who did it? My beloved wife couldn't bothered to cook a different meal for my mother, she used to feed her the same meal we ate knowing full well that mama cannot eat the same foods as us because we are salt lovers, especially my wife, she love eating too much salt which I have warned her over and over again because it is also not good for her health.

I confronted her, she said she only fed mama the same meals we ate twice only but according to the doctor it was more than two times.

I am hurt that my wife doesnt love my mother or treat her like her own mother because if she truly loved her like her own mother she would have put her diet on consideration and not allow her to eat the same meal as us. I love her mother and u treat her like my own mother.

It pains me a lot when I remember five years ago when her mother was in coma state and she was staying with her at the hospital, she is her only daughter amongst three boys.

I used to visit them everyday after work, I will bring foods and I have even washed her mother clothes with my own hands, I have done with love because she is my mother. I called my mother in law this morning and I have informed her about what her daughter has done to my mother and she couldn't stop apologising and she is very disappointed with my wife.

But see how she has repaid me by hurting my own mother.

She has apologised to me and to my mother, I have forgave her but I don't think I can stay with her again because one day if I become sick or bedridden she might treat me the same way.

Honestly speaking I am not even at home with her and the kids, I am at my cousin brother's house since yesterday I left the hospital and my mother is still in the hospital because she needs more treatment and hopefully she will recover by next week.

I don't feel like going home today and I don't know when I'll go home but I will always be there for my girls because they are the best thing that ever happened to me.

What other advice would you give me on this situation? What are your thoughts? Thank you for reading all I love this community.

Pls Mr. Man, don't mind all these people here saying "forgive her" "leave her in God's hands". Ur wife has accidentally shown u who she trusly is. Pls don't unsee it. Life she cares not for things u hold dear. U re right in what u said."[b][/b]if u become sick or bedridden, she will treat u same way. She has no compassion in her, that a grounds for divorce as d scales has fallen of ur eyes.

abobote:
Weaklings, when they have the opportunity to write their names in gold, by saving the country from this evil disaster called Buhari. Posterity will never be kind to them

I swear

Cyntie55:
Good day nairalanders. Season greetings to y'all. I'm so angry right now. Please I need mature advice.

My father is not a learned person but he make sure all his children are graduates. My younger brother(last born and only son) rounded up his Nysc few months ago, we're just 2 girls. My elder sis and I. My elder sis is a nurse in Austria (3 years now), she's married with a kid in Austria. My big sister send money home once in 3 months, and I have been the one receiving the money. I share the money exactly as instructed by my big sis. I have never cheated anyone, Infact my Dad and Big sis communicate very well. My Dad trust me so much.

My younger brother is always angry, He said he feel cheated all the time. He shouts and talks to me anyhow like I'm his mate.
Honestly speaking, I gave my younger brother more love and respect that he could ever imagine. When he was serving, he would call telling me he need 10k urgently, sometimes 20k, that he will pay back. Immediately I will send it to him and he would never pay back. Same thing he does to my father.
If we ask him what's he using his allawee for?? He would angrily say so is becus we're sending him "chicken change" that's why we're asking jamb questions.

He said we don't regard him, he called my Dad a SIMP, he said my Dad listen more to my big sis and I....but he don't listen to any of his suggestions.

My brother is a 2:1 (second class upper) graduate in economics from UNIBEN. After his Nysc all he does is to sleep and eat. My Dad's good friend told my brother to come to Lagos and resume work with him. He refused. My Dad ask him if he wants to further his education (masters or professional courses)he said no....Okay follow my Dad to his cement shop and help him (my dad even promised to pay him salary) he refused....I overheard him on a call with a friend and i suspect he's now into yahoo yahoo.

Look at what happened. My big sis sent us money yesterday to celebrate this festive period. She said I should give my brother 50k, I should take 80k and give my father the rest (abt 250k). My Dad is always aware of everything.
I even added 20k out of my money and I transferred 70k to my brother, I was left with 60k (becus she also sent me hair and I plan to sell it becus I already had enough). You can imagine this ungrateful idiot started insulting me, that I cheated him. the fool angrily withdrawn the money from his account and SET IT ON FIRE (70k). He called my elder sister and started warning her saying "if he can't receive the money henceforth, she should stop sending him money again that he's the man of the house".
My Dad gave him a resetting, resounding, hot and dirty slaps. He pulled out a knife, deflated my Dad's car tyres and ran away from the house.

Everyone is not happy. I don't want my brother to live a wayward life. He's 24 years old. Please nairalanders Help!

my dear, is has gone beyond d bud hence can't be nippped. U must tackle dis head on. Blood isn't thicker than peace of mind. U have a toxic, entitled & narcissistic sibling in that ur brother. U must protect urself from him & cut him off immediately. He is dubious : a leech he is. "Borrow me"urgent 10k or 20k, a loan it is and must be paid back. But see when u ask for it he angrily yell & verbally abuses u. Soon he will resort to physical. He cares not for u as a loved one or ur feelings. He is so egotistical & entitled, & will never be grateful. Nothing u do will be enough.

2. He has a violent temper. & Seeks to usurp ur father's authority in his very home, ( I am the man of the house) while he is still living. He has no regard for authority let me just tell u. Go follow @afriproud on IG & see what u can read from her page. Take steps to protect urself from him, never enable his entitleness by bring so nice & forgiving. When ur sister sends money give his share & never try to explain urself from to him. Limit ur contact to d very bate minimum. Never borrow him Monney no matter what. Ignore his existence completely

SportsHD:
Taxidermy your spoils

Why should he pls? He can do that to d head alone & eat d rest.

SportsHD:
Taxidermy your spoils

Why should he pls? He can do that to d head alone.

olasaad:
Or maybe FFK don't want to be like Devido paying her child support that she will be lavishing on herself. Anyways sha I know FFK will prefer to take care of the kids by himself than paying child support.

he won't take care of any child. Narcissist will destroy their own children provided it will hurt d victim partner.

Frigga13:
Fani kayode is a typical Yoruba man

no! He is a typical textbook narcissistic sociopath.

Vickyvice:
once a woman marries an efulefu man and she's wealthy, d man thinks all she has belongs to him.... Alone. The wealth may be inherited from her parents . In this case, I think the husband desperately needed the documents to sell them. He's an idiot.... But my daughter will inherit my wealth, but not transferable, if she no longer lives, it goes, not to her husband, or kids, but to my religion, .... J .W

yes j.w. I stand with u. So I shall do mine o.

Homeboiy:
Getting Entangled with a woman that will not reason like me.

E de fear me

Marry urself then my darling.

BadRadio:
As for me, I can't stand the sight of a fat woman... sorry, no disrespect to all the beautiful fat ladies out there... its just that everyone has got their own spec...there's this thing between me and slim ladies.

My future wife has better not get fat with protruding belly, else I will personally introduce my slim side chick to her. I don't like what I hate


That's my biggest fear

I hope u ve money for BBL 360.for after child birth & I hope u stay fit & well chiseled cos what is good for d goose, is good for d gander.

ubaobi:
The only thing that can't be fixed is cheating

if u like ignore narcissistic traits because cheating hasn't surfaced yet, the joke will be on u.

Afriqan:
Gluttony. I detest female gluttons with a passion.

Those ones would sleep with your neighbour for fried rice and chicken if you go broke...

Others are unforgiving heart and cheating... Not to be tolerated at all.

gluttony isn't gender based. So I can't deal with any

GRACEGLORY:
The kinda woman or man you want, only exist in your head. If you can’t overlook, you are not ready for a relationship

People can overlook any shortcoming, but they will not tolerate arrogance.
-Sushma Swaraj

my dear I can't overlook red flags however suble, they re not pink in color put red. Imperfections differs & everyone human has one , 2, or 3. Hence u will choose ur imperfect perfect human. Not Red flagger my dear.

MufasaLion:


A single man is a happy and healthy man.

but a very lonely one especially in rainy season of cold nights.

Mercychen:
Womanizing
Smoking
Lying
Laziness
Verbal and physical abuse

Searching through my things when I'm not around. My ex did this a lot.

I remember the day I was coming from my elder sister's place (after Christmas) because he kept disturbing me to come back to area ( we stay in the same area) on the 31 so we can go for watchnight service together.

I went straight to his place with my travel bag. It was already night. So I went to shower to get ready for the watchnight service. I checked to see if I had locked the door before taking off my clothes, LO and behold the door was already locked from outside while the inside remained unlocked. I tot about it, shrugged and went ahead to boat it.

After bathing, I had to bang on the door before he opened it from outside. When I came out, he was smiling like a cat so I didn't think it to be anything because he plays a lot.

It was when I got to the sitting room and opened my bad that I discovered he was searching my bag while I was in the bathroom. That was why he locked me inside. Though he didn't touch my money but I later discovered he was searching for a condom. He wanted to know if I stopped by at a man's place before coming. Hmm...

Another one was after we broke up. He begged to come and see me. after much refusal, I told him to come.

when he came, I left my phone and went to get him a drink.
After he left, I discovered he tried turning on my phone but the casing of the phone had a protective plastic strip at the side. so all you need do is press on it and the light will come on but he didn't know so he now pulled on the strip and bent it badly so he could access my "on" button.
That was how he distroyed that phone case for me.

I don't know what he wanted to check in my phone after breaking up with him.

That's another red flag I can't overlook.

that was a demonic sneaking shit. U was dealing with a psychopath right there, but ur God is live that opened ur eyes to his schemes.

We4all:
So what are we going to do about parents who also bully their kids?

no child protective services here, hence parents get away with d damage they do the fruit of their womb. But in time, they shall reap what they ve sown with that child.

Nonexisting:
The woman principal begged you and you forgave her so why bring up the issue now? Mtchew

Y not?? The incidence can be cited & used for reference point at anytime & yes! Forgiveness can be withdrawn from anytime after full realization of d extent of d damage done. Let no one manipulate & cojole victims to forgiven there & then. Incidence has to be processed, consequences faced or accepted. Then time to heal from it.

Emptoluwani:
this man and bad luck with women

he is a demonic narcissistic beast

ZombiePUNISHER:
Ayade is a sellout

just like most South southern ers

I trust cross rivarians, they re brave & takes no nonsense, he will be dealt with.

IPIGSRHYPO:
[s][/s]

Before opening the thread, I already knew you posted the news so that you use your other moniker to post your usual religious trash.
Pastorprenual clown.

U re d clawn here. Look how u re bitter like small stout, u re frustrated.

arantess:
the jab is not mark of the beast

that's what it's is there is a micro chip in it remember, why is it by force even polio vaccine isn't by force??

RingRoadMafia:
Remember me? I was the very first person to expose your fraudulent ways on nairaland. Fake pastor using scare tactics to get unsuspecting nairalanders to call him for prayers so they can "sow seed". What the mods don't know is that they're aiding this crook in propagating his scam by moving his threads (created with his alternative account) to the front page!

But at least, he has not said anything wrong here naa, it's d truth he has said here.

NotoriousBiggyS:
24hrs! What
Are you kidding me

He is not, its the truth

Kirigidi:
You mean Igbo people are the ones to declare republic for us Urhobo, Bini, Ishan, Isoko, etc?

U ask am well.

Broveens42:
I don't think anybody is forcing any one. More like bring on the referendum and test your popularity as one nigerialist

we re not one nigerialists either we ve no intention of being with Biafra either. We will pursue our own

TripleOh7:
That your map will not work o.

Best to limit yourselves to the 5 southeastern states for now.

That's the only way you'll get the support of UN.

Un will never allow you to forcefully amalgamate other ethnicities who don't want to be in your Biafra.

But senseless pride & arrogance won't allow them archive it.

thebosstrevor1:
Yes, carry your south eastern states and go away from Nigeria, leave south south alone.

U re so correct, I am just looking at them, nor be only degema.