₦airaland Forum

@Ituen
With your expertise in contraband and illegal goods distribution, I'll let u handle the marketing of the DVDs. I'm sure u can handle the heat when all Nairalanders struggle for a piece of the action. _{But this your family sef. U sure sey we no go ship una go Italy? Abi na Amsterdam?}

Guruguru Chinyere

If I had my way, i would have had all the ladies in Nland come to my chambers for a Performance Test Evaluation (PTE)

See beta friend.
Abeg, make u advise dat ur friend because if i. . .
But if she run, d crosshairs go fall on u since ur mouth dey dis matter too

Help Me see Career Craze People. People dey get career for prison breaking, exotic dancing, plate washing and husband snatchery, una dey hear dey perfect craziness. May God Help u.

@ Poster
Dem don ever barb u b4? U don ma? abi u don zaare? Kom dey waste person precious e-energy on senseless post. Wetin man suppose read. I follow all d replies dey tink say i fit catch anytin worth readin. Ashe na lady-lady action wan begin happen. If i handle u ehn

ituen:
@Topic
Saucekid just lost his virginity

Errgh, i have the live Bleep footage of the event. It's unedited, uncensored. I'm reserving the first 10 units for Nlanders. Hurry and grab ur copy now.
Alsoi watch out for part 2, starring Clemcy and . . .
To God Be The Glory

To Whom It May Concern
[size=5pt]If you can read this piece, Kudos to you. Give yourself a pat on the kpaks[/size]

If you cant read the piece above, it obviously doesn't concern you, geddit?

Nice one poster, even though my dear clemcy no understand, n her ex bf _{who said ituen?} no fit explain

saucekid:
for your mind,you don make arrest
*you forget say i'm an influential figure in governmental powers*

U dey doubt am? D only influence wey ur "figure" get na for Bedville _{Na so we bin assume sef, until new revelation come comot from anonymous sources. Abi u wan make we disclose them?}

@Lola
U wan try. My own dey penetrate pass smallville own. Abi u wan make i yarn d house wetin dey under dat jeans?

_{Points Finger at saucekid and his cohorts} OC, see them. They've been discussing PG62 affairs in public thereby instigating corrupt mind practices, which according to my latest research indicates that it's punishable under section 419, Article 2.2E10 of the 1959 constitution.

_{Saucekid, wailing and shouting in his local dialect as they bundle him in black maria}

Ehen, where all those gals wey no dey understand wetin Saucekid bin dey yarn. Report for my room make we do extra lessons pronto

Hmm, wetin I fit do you now wey God no go vex? Err, u drink pure water?

And The Lady with the Torch Would Have Looked Like this . . .

George Bush Would Have Looked Like This . . .

If Taliban had won the war with America,

New York would have looked like this. . .

Representing Federal Government College, Kaduna _{1998 set}

Olamson, u do well jare.

Night Soil Man

I no fit shout. _{Borrows his Grandma's Cane mini stool and squats down}

@ Emperoh
C'mon man, u know if i want a part in this movie, hook or crook, i'ma get it. But right now, I'm with the Guild of Critics having finished my course in Nollywood, Bollywood, LaiLaiwood, Wayowood and now Nairawood. Very soon, i'll be heading to HollySteel and NollyStone. So beware

@Ituen and the One Mugu Man Crew
My cameras are so well hidden and strategically placed that they will give Big Brother Earth a complex. If u no comply begin give one-on-one exclusives with the actresses, I'll be forced to show a footage of u doing ur bizniz in . . ._{u Know where}

@ Eldee
U wish

@Topic
Jokeeeee

When did u graduate from the Land of Kuli Kuli and Guru Guru?

The game is quite simple. Just start a sentence with the word If, thus:


If I were President Yar'adua, I would arrange for all Super Eagles team to obtain 10 lashes of the koboko for their poor performance in the All Nations Cup tournament

Oh Really, I thot Life's a bitch depending on how u were dressed when u first breathed in life.

Duh dude, your life's a bitch depending on how u address it

Wesley Snipes - Naija Edition _{U wish}

Being the reporter from the media outfit having the exclusive on this production, I might say I've noticed some discrepancies in the production. Nairawood, just like its elder brother Nollywood needs to change strategies. It seems like the Producer is amassing all the major roles to himself. He's the scriptwriter, Director, Stunt Manager and the Director, Internal Liaisons. If this is not addressed, the movies chance of making it into the big time is quite slim.

_{Reactivates his hidden cameras and takes position to continue his watch}

Don't Worry Guys, About the RSS Feeds, I'm working on it. Apparently, NAFDAC, upon seeing "Feeds" in the Name is all up in my case, making it a must that i clear with them first. Once I clear with NAFDAC, Google, who now sell Gooroo Gooroo (Pop Corn, Google Style) in their Seattle Office will be contracted to handle the RSS Feeds, this being their first major contract in years after their downfall.

Se u guys understand now. (@ Ituen, Tufe and others)

Hate to break it to you poster but that verse u quoted from the Qur'an doesnt exist as u claimed. Check ur facts again

crazykid:
I get excited when am being kissed by two beautiful women https://www.websmileys.com/sm/love/250.gif

Those your beautiful girls look like whores to me _{abi una no c dia lips?}

I get excited when making a call on my 0?0! NEPA sim card

tj taju, how u go find am funny. Livin in Iraq has taken it's toll on you i believe. Better relocate to Darfur for more sense of humour blessings.

@ Poster, If God Barb U, I No Know no dey oooo. Becos d kain woundjure wey u go woundjure. . .

Catastrophe!

In a swift turn of events occasioned by the Impending Third World War threatened by the powers that be, bizarre events have been occuring the world over. Recent Headlines in the dailies include:

"Shell Gone Broke, Now Sells Pure Water"

"Microsoft Gone Bankrupt, Now Sells Stationery at their Main Office located at 51, Iweka Road"

"Tipanpan Obong Solobong Hotel, Tinapa, The Only 8 Star Hotel in the World"

"Obama, First US Black President, Moves Seat of Government to Most Populous Black Country in The World"

, More scoops on their way, as soon as we get them.