₦airaland Forum

*Turns around and shows clemcy his PG13*
Uh uh, clemcy the look in your eyes is scary.
Na just cloth i stuff inside, I'm not a gal _{Sebi i hear say u don dey turn gay and u like bobbi no be small}

*Removes bra pronto b4 clemcy loose control come rape me*

ah ah Lola, which u no dey sef. Na two of una Tufe dey marry? C'mon, come out of hiding. If u like me, just talk am clear make we understand. Which be dis one wey u dey enter anoda man mata

Omo, i gree say skills dey for kissing ooo
Yeah, nature can help but u gotta perfect it in due course

Clemcy, u sure say u get money to go buy bra? No be d one wey ur hubby carry from .im family heirloom wey .im Mama's mama's sub-mama use, na im u wan carry come dash me? See as u wan open ur nyash make we see ooo. Haba clemcy, no do dis to urself u hear.

Oh my dear Tyty, all those lovely val messages and images for me? Oh Tyty _MTN, thats why i cant stop loving you, Take this https://emoticons4u.com/love/216.gif from me 2 u

Hmm na wa ooo. Na only kiss we dey talk about ooo. See as kasala come dey happen. If we begin yarn about the next step nko?
Abeg Bizl4Rizl, if ur galfriend don already classify ur case as "No Hope", no come dey poor sand sand for other people garri u hear. Better go back to the basics and start from scratch. Try ur pillow for starters.

Omo, d day don come.

Well, i have a 3-tier plan.
Morning - Research on the net on condom recycle methods and outfits that buy used condoms

Afternoon to Evening - Carry my okada to go round selling condoms (mobile) _{and on call too}

Evening to Night - Carry my hurricane lamp to go on condom search for onward recycling _{God bless anybody wey i catch dey eat kpomo}

Val happens to be the day condom companies make the greatest sales so i feel sey no be only dem + gals go benefit this val

And Remember folks

The French kiss does NOT consist of sticking out your tongue or simply blasting a tongue into someone else's mouth,

If you're kissing someone and their lips are NOT parted or parting slowly during your kisses - they probably do NOT want to French Kiss.



If your partner is also ready to try the French Kiss, you will feel:
a) their lips part slightly;
b) their tongue against yours.

If you don't get the desired response, then it's best to back off, as opposed to 'forcing your tongue down their throat', as you may have heard bad French Kissing described.

There's not much worse than an insensitive person with an intrusive tongue. And there are fewer things LESS romantic than a French Kiss when you're either not ready for it or don't want it at all.


More Hints to Know When Your Partner is Ready

The KEY to the French Kiss - Sensitivity!

Not lip sensitivity - but sensitivity to your partner, is probably the most important part of the French kiss. Remember that although you may be ready and willing, they may not be. Although it's not unheard of to talk about something like French kissing before trying it together, non-verbal clues are much more common.



Your partner will SIGNAL you,

They'll let you know if they're ready or not.
For example: He's ready to go - but is she?

It really doesn't look as if she's giving him the go-ahead signal.
No parted lips - no tongue exposure - and she's not leaning into the kiss,
He'd do better to slow down and use soft, gentle kisses.

There are some obvious (and not so obvious) signs that someone is ready for the French kiss:

# Longer, slow kisses indicate the person may be ready to try a more passionate kiss,
# Slightly parted lips, or look for an increase in how wide your partner's lips are parted,
# Any tongue exposure, before or during the kiss,
# 'Deep' kissing, where the lips find their way deeper between the partner's,
# 'Moister' kissing- again, look for a change in kissing 'style'.



Ultimately, kissing is an art, not a science. Try it, follow your instincts - take it slowly, and you'll find out what you and your partner enjoy and don't enjoy along the way.

Your kissing preferences will change over time depending on your experience, the situation and your partner.

The more you kiss, the better you get at it - happy practicing.

Dude, silly as this whole thing sounds, wanna wish u the best of luck. BTW, does that mean u r gonna be alone this val seson? Alrite come join my League of Val-less Men (LVM) @ www(dot)lvm(dont)come

They all are, simple.

Its funny what people might do when probably motivated. Give me correct motivation, i go drive u go anywhere, even if na cloud 9

Saucyboy, u too one miss somebody? Na .im u com carry lola dey miss. Hmm, Lola take style miss small na. But my own kain miss wey i dey miss Lorlahr no be una own kain one fa. I dey miss am d way George Bush dey miss Sadam Hussein. Una understand?

I wish i knew who this Simi is/was. Considering the foregoing. i sure wud love to say yes to your question, so why dont we just assume that i am.

Thanks anyway guys. Mo later

Hmm, i feel u iice. Looks like u've had plenty bad experiences.

U c am, d guy don take my advice. Im don logoff. Good boy.

Lorlarh, welcome ooo. I missed u.

French Kissing tips

This is a guide to basic kissing, i.e. you learn the basics and get the basics right, then experiment and try different styles and more advanced techniques.

The basics

1. Brush your teeth, get a good bath, nicely groomed and clean and fresh, before meeting the other person. There's nothing worse than kissing the rear end of a garbage truck

2. Get into a comfortable position - you can't kiss if your back feels like it's gonna break. Suggestion - Sit side by side on a comfy sofa.

3. Hold your lover , firmly but gently - don't cause pain. Suggestion would be to hold the shoulders, the neck or gently on the side of the face, one side or both sides.

4. Move your faces closer. Don't bump noses. Suggestion would be the guy angle his face slightly so you don't bump noses.

5. Kiss gently, normal closed lips kissing, and close your eyes. Closing your eyes increases the sensations you feel, and also sets the mood.

6. Continue kissing gently. Get comfortable with simple closed lips, lip-to-lip kissing before going anywhere else.

7. If fine till here, tentatively, slowly and lightly draw your tongue across the other person's lips.

8. Chances are from here, if the other person lightly parts her tongue, slowly explore the other person's tongue in a light licking motion.

9. The tongue has a very sensitive surface, which is why tongue to tongue is the essence of french kissing.

10. After you've tried lightly licking the other person's tongue, you can try sucking on it, wrestling with it ( see if you can hold it to the floor of her mouth ) and other things like that.

11. Explore the other areas of the mouth. Especially the roof of the mouth. Lightly lick, or tickle the area with your tongue.

12. Don't bite. whatever you do, don't bite.

13. Don't swing your tongue round and round like a windmill. Explore lightly, don't drill your way through.

14. Breathe through your nose. Breathe through your nose. I say again, breathe through your nose.

15. Follow so far? You can lightly use your hands too, lightly rubbing the other person. Suggestions, along the waist, along the back, the arms, especially the inside of the arm, the neck, maybe running your fingers through her hair. Again, don't cause pain.

16. Continue kissing.

webdezzi:
@Ninjabyte, u sure say na ninja bite u because with your post, e be like say na sontin else bite u

Webdizzy, no be ur fault na. Se being on d web dey make u dizzy. No wonder u dey see kisses when there are none. Abeg save d little money wey u dey use buy ticket for cafe use am buy tampon for ur girlfriend _{if any gal fit manage u since na virtual kisses dey turn u on} for this val u hear? Call me on my NEPA line if u need mo val suggestions

Tessy baby, how far? No worry, i no need ur pity. Been in lotta sh*t b4 and i can take care of myself. Ask Bruce Lee if u dey doubt am. Meanwhile, u just wan see bone break ne, abi u just wan see my own bone break. Make i know now oooo, so dat i fit know where i go direct my emotions.

Lola u dey fall my hand ooo. U no wan try am wit anusman? u dey fear weda him get him name from insertin im long tin inside people anus? errrgh, i understand

Abeg Tyty, help me ask am

Anusman, if sumtin na ur own, u no suppose fear. If she like u, now worry she go come back. But i fit give am wetin u no fit. And about breaking my bones, hmmm. Check my name again.

Thats gross

The lectures dey come in bits. But we suppose dey sure sey wetin we dey hear for lectures na true. That's why u need to go confrim wetin i dey yarn. Oya, waka enter room try wetin i talk wit tj, abi na anusman _{but no try am for anus ooo, i no know no dey} then come share the results with us. Then we go advance u hear?

I wish i understood all those yoruba mumbo jumbo

Babe, e b like say we fit liken ur case to that of Malcom C_raze. Ur own case na out of this world

No b meditating i dey do. I'm a man of peace. At times, silence achieves just that. If i yarn wetin i know, heads fit roll, blood go flow, dead go rise. . .

so u c my fear

Lola, https://emoticons4u.com/love/246.gif right back @ u. I hope i aint stepping on anybody's toes.

Aisha, think twice before u send dat form oooo. Men dey scarce these days.

Ahh, Ituen, i sure sey u get sense pass this one no be small. U can handle this on na. Abi?

Lola, na wa for u oo. D good news b say if u tell am make e spell that tongu language wey u dey write, u go accept anytin wey e spell because u sef no sabi d spellin. Abi i lie?

Aisha, apologies accepted. But if na u dey d gate, i go scale any hurdle wey u put there. Abi u wan try?

Abeg Saucekid, carry out the coup make we get change of government

Lola, do u really want me to confirm what i c? huh? E no go good oooo

Take am easy ooo Aisha
B'cos if u fire me with thunder, i fit be d one wey u go meet for dat gate wey go ask u question. And u know it aint gon' be easy.

After the call-off of the week(s)long strike embarked upon by media personnel, i now resume my job
_{Chei, my camera lens don already get cobwebs, hmmm}

I think i need to hire an errand boy. Ok people, vacancy for service boy on set for Media person. Apply pronto.

See behind ur monitor for conditions.

If only u dey tap tessybaby's button as u dey tap dat computer. . .

C'mon Aisha, u I never knew u cud be dis wicked. @ least for old times sakes, u'd have considered his plight. abi

One more thing, I like people with the name Aisha cos. . .

Hmm, i wonder who Ituen is talking about. Abeg, if your mouth dey smell, hands up