For me; at that age you shouldn't be anything more than a virgin except you are raped or abused.

It takes a high level of moral standard to remain a virgin today with all the moral decadence. Any girl or boy who could withstand the pressures; may have what it takes to stand her grounds. Assertiveness skills is a great leadership tool. Whoever came up with the scholarship must have a reason. We don't frown at academic awards which excludes those who are not intelligent because they simply did not have facilities. We don't frown at ethnic awards. I don't think we should carry placard against this; the worst case scenario is for anyone who is upset to start an award for an adolescent who has had the most sexual partner if that has any intrisic leadership value.

Eko4Show,
I really hope for your sake that you have your papers otherwise your interest will be forced to lock in with Nigeria when the arm of law reaches you. You were trying to define some issues; now what do you say about below in the locality where you reside:

1. a black man shot for being black
2. a university graduate with first class who has to clean the loo
3. a six year old labelled disabled because it helps the school get more funding
4. a small company that is constantly been harassed by conglomerates
5. a farmer who is encouraged to live perpetually in debt (aka credit cards) instead of having solution to his problem
6. a friend of mine who had to miss a flight; he was picked out for sceening because he dared to pay with cash
7. a teacher who is compelled to keep teaching when the environment is not conducive
8. a banker forced to stand inline to receive and wash dishes
9. a country that keeps blessing people with cancer via energy contaminations
10. a nation that keeps leaving large on the sweat of immigrants

There are issues in every country; as long as you are for peace and with God on your side, you definitely will survive. I don't expect you as a Nigerian to be the one discouraging people from visiting but of course you are thoroughly westernised after surviving the hard point of entry. People like you should be made to pay heavily for visas especially when you choose to return to unwind for two weeks during winter.

You just mentioned that the word daddy has always lived for you in the dictionary. She probably lives her life trying to remain disciplined for you; so maybe no visible partner, no external support, no listening ears, even if your dad were alive I doubt he would have been of much help.

You really can't carry a load meant for two without crunching, squeaking or yelling under the weight. Great mothers are like gold or diamond; they go through a lot of burning or chiseling - try asking goldsmith how it feels before the masterpiece stands glorified in a glass shelf waiting for the highest bidder. The least you can do is to understand and appreciate her more. When last did you get her flowers, when last did you give her a hug, take her out for dinner, buy her a materrial she denied herself because she has to settle your bill? If at your age you still eat her ponmo and drink her soy milk; when last did you wash or iron or send her clothes to the laundromat?

Lend a hand so that instead of yelling she'd be relaxed enough to share her innermost thoughts with you. She's got a lot bottled in and been there for her is the first step to the solution. If you can't alleviate or tolerate the situation; getting out to find out how it feels when NEPA (there's no real change; their old name is still at work) harass you for forgetting to pay N1725.02 will be a good start point for showing appreciation.

Ogbeni "me lo l'oun wi" not "we" is an Islamic phrase so,

Can't you cook? What sort of women do we have these days. It's either you encourage him to buy stuff with which both of you can cook or you tell him you prefer home made food that way he'll cook for you. If you know he is not financially stable and you insist on nice food, you are already on to go list. When he becomes financially viable he'll simply believe that you are in because things are better.

If he changes gear to nice places and he falls in love with it be ready for him to continue and move a step further to bring home benefits of the frequent visits. Buka food can only go on for a while; he'll outgrow it sooner than you imagine.

My suggestion ask for home made food or begin by bringing food or stuff to cook with; that could provide a good event for you guy instead of buka-sex-gist. One note of warning don't bring stuff he can't afford if you'll be cooking at his place. You can include whatever as long as he doesn't have to contend with the ingredients.

O ma se was all I could say.

I hope the cancer was not the reason you held back from marrying her; if it was it could taunt you for a while. Try to be around people. A number of people may not know the weight of the loss on you they simply discount the intimacy because you weren't married but a piece of paper is not what determines the bond you shared with someone. It happened to me and years after I still wake up and ask why even though I should have gone past asking why.

Find solace in God and please don't expect the next person you meet to fit into her shoes. She's gone; her memory should live forever with you. You may consider carrying on or supporting something she loved as a way of immortalising her.

Take heart.

How come you are Presido and Exotique does not know?

Long throat. The skills will warm another man to her heart sooner than you expect.

, old enough to be your,

Donjohano & Naijacutee, thanks a great deal.

It does help show that I'm not the only one with my perspective here. A number of people hear HIV and they just begin to rave and rant without taking time to look up stuff. I'm shocked that a number of people do not know about these theories. I guess we only really know what the media celebrates. As you suggested the pharmaceutical companies could be behind the lack of information; trying to nip it in the bud will translate to thousands of money for them.

I once told my boss that the rise and fall of polio figures in India and Nigeria could be simply a ploy to keep the money going. When there are no longer endemic areas then automatically funding for that disease stops so, Why are we not collaborating? Money!

The moment lemon theory for instance is carried to its logical conclusion with a positive impact there'd be a great impact on export and import beginning with condoms etc The least we can do is not to become oblivious of things going on around us. The more we talk about issues the more we become enlightened and encourage those searching for cure to go ahead.

I really don't understand it too but the researcher has more on it. Since you have asked (and not acted dumb like others who make hasty generalisation and uninformed comments) I would willingly provide links; while I don't support his theory I can't refute it since I am not a scientist.

If you ask me, I'll say it's better to play safe than to play smart; playing smart could very well mean playing dead.

http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/stories/s695723.htm

http://www.csiro.au/files/mediarelease/mr2002/RogerShort.htm

The question I asked at the beginning of this thread was simple and straight forward (But I’ll like to know your take on this and other theories) yet some people need binoculars to see; I wonder if that would help them read well.

Media coverage as a result of CSR throws a company in public light same for NGO's who partner with them in the process. When that happens the work for which they are celebrated is put in public glare and you and I are able to confirm or contest the activities for which they are praised.

Who is doing what out there?
Is there any other name for CSR?
For those who do not believe in CSR or ISR, how can the society benefit from corporate gains knowing that government are far from carrying out their responsibilities?

Let me clear your medula Mandi:

Sometime ago, the malaria that has now become a common ailment to you was a killer disease which sent a lot of people to their graves. Probably you're too young to know that. As unserious as you may want to classify toothache, it could result in cancer which falls in the category of your serious diseases. Common headache, if it is capable of killing should not be taking with levity; in refereing to malaria and tootaches I was not in any way diminishing hiv aids neither will I join you to magnify it. Someday generations unborn will classify aids and other epidemic as common.

Mass murderers who teach children to be violent leading to massacres are walking free where you probably live as an immigrant. Go back and read the thread; I put forward a discourse, I did not affix a stamp of confirmation or credibility on lemon juice theory.

I actually thought there were more intelligent people who are able to carry on intelligent discussion without throwing daggers. I'm amazed, no shocked. If you get an information; right or wrong, the onus is on you to search it out. In the age of info tech seemingly intelligent people should refrain from displaying their ignorance.

So, go for it!

When? I'm still waiting

Let the beefing stop

Yes, I really can use some rest.

What do you think?

Go and read about it instead of classifying it as rumour. We'll talk about it thereafter.

Got this from a friend thought I should share it:

A group of technologists were showcasing their nations' prowess in the Cebit technology fair recently and the German stood up & said his nation is the best in technology.

'We are so good, if we conduct elections today we'll get the results tomorrow'.

The Japanese rose and said they were definitely better;

'We are so good, we get results of elections immediately after the elections. Our elections are monitored online, realtime'.

The Nigerian needn't stand up to speak, he made his speech while seated.

'And you all call that technology? In Nigeria we already know the results of elections before they are conducted'.

swine

Diplomacy!

Next time she appears angry simply say "ah Mummy k'on se be o, ore mi or ore "your husband" (not your mummy, not your husband) kan ti send awon samples kan si wa won de nice gaan, t'eyin na ba ri e like e, a ti e ti fun ni balance. Mi fe ke tun fi stress aso ti wa kun gbogbo nkan to wa n'ile bayi. Se k'on se p'e bi nu o?

Let your pastor handle the officiating part; don't say a word to make her feel better, it will only make her feel worse. The best you can do is "e ma worry, ko si bi won se ni je ki pastor yin participate, ojo ayo yin ni". If your mum were to get this way, how would you handle her? Handle his mum in like manner.

I wish you a day of joy that marks the beginning of other joys.

As stupid as it sounds it is a theory put forward by a scientist. Saying yes or no won't change anything; get to the lab, read about it, ask questions, discuss it - that's the way to go.

Our mothers in the days of old asked people to wash their heads to cure mental illness and their palms to cure physical illness; it worked! Our fathers asked that we look back when we trip forward. Ever before the science of cause and effect they spoke about the witch crying yesterday and the child dying today. Chewing stick still cures tooth ache and tree bark still cures malaria.

It's an open ended discussion; lets do more than just huh

Odubade is a Yoruba name from Odu-ifa-ba-ade. Odu is related to the ifa oracle, my guess is that Odu-ifa is the prophecy or proclamation from ifa i.e when the cowrie shells are thrown for divination, what is received from ifa is the odu. My literal interpretation of Odubade is Odu meets the crown. The Ijebu's are the ones who usually have Odu as a prefix e.g Odusanya, Odunniyi, Odugbemi. Surnames with 'ade' may have links to the crown or royalty.

Maybe bon soir is better but bon jour is good day. Since there is no specific reference to period of the day how come you said nope?

Thanks Ndipe,
I wasn't going to respond to the silly remark.

We were using our chewing sticks which prevents akokoro (decay etc), white man said chewing stick is better yet we haven't stopped visiting the hospital. We tend to prefer the serious responses to diseases. I'm very sure that nature has provided us with a simple solution which may still be locked up somewhere. Even if we can't wait for or take to nature, the law has provided us with a solution - remain faithful to your spouse.

I have no way of confirming that the lemon theory works; I'll leave that to scientists while I continue the vip up theory which works perfectly for me.

Mandi,
My idea was to open this up for discussion, it wasn't to encourage a show of ignorance. There are 101 myths out there about hiv/aids (I simply hate to magnify diseases by writing it in caps), if you are silly enough to add this to the list without adequate proof you have simply added another signature to your die date.

All,
I’ll like to know your take on the lemon juice theory and other theories in reference to combating hiv/aids

Yours please,

Except you want to kill her, her death date is X - unknown.

As per the Pastor stuff; simply speak to your pastor who inturn will make it clear that in your church only the pastors do the joining but her pastor could be given a role as part of the officiating team - Bible reading, sermon, song calling etc.

As for the aso-ebi, you and your husband should use the colour you both like and later change to her color sometime during the event; you are entitled to change as many times as possible. Alternatively you may consider wearing her choice during the thanksgiving ceremony. Otherwise, your friends could use the colour you like, her family use the colour she likes and your family choose their own colour. All three could be reflected in the colour code.

Apron strings are man-made. Prayerfully and tactfully loosen the apron string, that's one of your challenges as iyawo. Diplomacy will come in handy.