At 25, if you are out of school and working, you should consider living away from your parents. No branch becomes a tree until it is drawn away (by design or accident) to be rooted elsewhere.

If you decide to leave after you get married, marriage may not come soon. Or it could come when you are dead broke and then you'll want to move your wife in with your parents; just a bad way to start a family. You could start out in an apartment owned by your parents but, its not a good idea to live with them when you are old enough to start taking responsibility for others.

I left home at 25, my parents did not believe I'll survive but through thick and thin, I did.

Must a woman know how to cook? If yes, must a man know how to cook? Sure! So if by any stroke of luck either of them is deficient, in otyher that tantalizers will not become their second home one should teach the other and part of their evenings could be spend comparing cookery notes and trying out new finds; it would be so much fun!

Thanks Seun, and others with your flow.

Raldsfield, the elders were wrong, the way to a man's heart has been and will always be his eyes (the one that leads him to desire what he admires) but if you insist be careful so that you don't end serving or servicing the good cook who succeed in jazzing you away as you eat your fill.

tEsLim,

Aint you very unrealistic. You (a soon-to-be single dad) are begging for acceptance but upfront you are saying you can't marry a single-mum. I tell you upfront that's the only reason you can't make it work with the lady who is pregnant for you. In your relationship there are different rules; some animals are more equal than others policy. If you loved the lady enough to ask her out, get into bed with her long enough to make her pregnant then you can save yourself the trouble of seeking for acceptance by single women.

I really pray the ones that will say yes to you will be the after twos, threes,

McDoe, it's not the "damn" culture neither is it a Nigerian culture. It's just another way men try to make women subservient. There are very old traditional couples who call themselves by their first names and there are others who use e (to signify respect) for their wives. What works for you is what you should adopt. I don't want to believe you posted this just to strengthen what you believe.

In trying to keep the idea of not calling husbands by name some have mixed up the role of father and husband; if he's your "daddy" then its okay for his words to be law and it's okay for him to be the only one who can check 'junior' when he misbehaves, if he's your husband then you do have a say.

If you insist that it's a Nigerian culture from your side of the divide, culture changes with the people. In yesteryears men brought home every naira and kobo needed for the home, today; they may not survive of she's not working. Culture is never static except in our imagination.

It upsets me to hear stuff like maybe the woman has changed in size, who caused it? Sex and pregnancy does make some people add weight but the couple can work at checking this at the very early stage. Never forget that your woman can become better than that woman you admire with more benefit to you.

If he flirts, join him (or pretend to) if you can, men don't want their wives with someone else so let him know that what is good for the geese is good for the gander! If you can't, leave him. Don't remain under his roof while he brings in his adulterous scents and ask you to join the party as he orders you into bed. While you are away; if you love his soul, pray for him 'cause at the very end they'll kill him, ruin him or mar him with their deposit both physical and spiritual.

Love in marriage should be reciprocal, there's no use if you're simply tolerated in return.

If you're really saintly then that makes it simple but supposing people think the saint part is just a cover up?

I disagree. If you are not in a relationship then what happens with marriage, and children abi you wan be virgin for life. Out of all the crazy lot that will demand for sex there are few who will value you for who you are such that when sex comes in it won't be a "forced labour".

A friend got married last year at 36! Though she ended up having sex before the actual wedding date, she felt she trusted the man enough to let go. Another female friend is in a relationship with a married man, they've been in it for 6-years and still no sex. Don't people believe that married men date single women for sex and money exchange?
Saying no to sex for now is about saying no to heartaches. When you do let go, you want to make sure the man values you and loves you enough. It doesn't mean that because you have waited for 25 years the first man will marry you or be a great husband.

From the very beginning define why you are in the relationship, the wan wey wan stay go stay, the one wey wan go, go go. You may not even need to begin the relationship before you find out his attitude towards sex. And the fact that a man agrees to no sex wouldn't make him a perfect match for you.

You may not like the idea of remaining a virgin forever, with prayers the man who will value the high level of discipline you have maintained will come your way.

Asking women not to preach is simply a way of making them second class citizens even in the house of God. Any woman called to the pulpit should do so without fear or favour and have the support of men. I've met female preachers who are well vast in the WORD. I have listened to male preachers who for the joy of making women home makers or home school teachers have preached against this.

Read your Bible, aint there instances where God chose to work with a woman instead of a man. The disciples may have been men but its common sense that a man who is single and moving from town to town in ministry will choose to work with men.

Let's remove marks from "eko", "eko" no get marks, na d leaves wey dem take wrap am give am marks.

Women are called to be preachers and women should preach, not only to women but to men (may be we no longer have just men and women o, before you blame me of being bias), every living soul.

Dream works!
When I remember, it's been taken care of the the spirit realm; it may or may not manifest physically.

When I don't remember clearly; it's going to happen. So I pray really well especially if it's something negative for God's intervention as I may not be able to stop the manifestation but I can reverse the effect.

God speaks to people through diverse means and the fact that dream works for you does not make you better only favoured. I appreciate the gift and encourage others who have same to develop it.

Let's construct a story by adding a paragraph (not more than 2 lines) each. When the story ends begin another one. You may wish to develop the story by adding detail about family, school, religion, class etc. If it feels like your story add facts otherwise add fiction that will move the story forward.

Let the story begin:

Once upon a time, there lived an innocent boy who dreamt to see the world though locked up in a mud hut beneath the rocks.

After reading "What about my wife and children, how would they feel should they come to find out i impregnanted a girl i took as my own daughter??" I went straight to your profile.

If you are actually 22, then the story is either fiction, another man's tale or your friend is much older. If your friend is much older, he will not be foolish enough to leave a teenage girl, his only daughter, in your care. If you are indeed married with children at 22 then your children are really young and their mum will grow to learn that even your own daughters should not be left in your care.

Indeed you took her as your own daughter, nothing can be more evident as to your fatherly role Go ahead and marry the girl as a second wife; at least the world will see that you have a heart as you live with the shame.

Sorry

blaque (for previous)

Please continue from:

hi

h

Its so sad but that's the reality of the world we live in.

I suggest you talk to your daughter, don't speak to her like a child, speak to her as a young lady. Let her know the pros and cons of her actions. Watch movies or read lbooks/materials about bad influence with her. This is because you will not always be there when the silly boy comes around and when the chips are down what matters most is what she does in your absence.

Add prayer to that and you will have solved a problem which may linger or reoccur in the near future.

Thanks for letting us into it.

When I first came across your user name the idea I got was "Frank that lives in Kirikiri", I didn't even realise there's a "ki" missing so I really didn't have to be warned about the wild side .

My guess is that the banking industry in 9ja has gone beyond individualism. People asked the same question when Fola Adeola decided to step aside for Tayo Aderinokun to saddle GTB, If Zenith is built on Jim Ovia it may not survive but my guess especially going by the structure and their service delivery is that children yet unborn will reap the gains.

Life is a bed of risk.

As 9ja abroad you have to be ready to take your position as a second class citizen. If you go with ori-olori (head of person head ) you'll run for as long as it takes; maybe answer to someone else' name for the rest of your life. Accountants are running cab business abroad, doctors are on shift as night guards, designers are keeping the streets free of trash. Yet some have a pride of place or na place of pride.

If you are abroad by God-design by all means stay there and polish the Nigerian image. If you are there by self-design find your way back home, make peace with your soul.

Casper, if you be virgin you fit contend otherwise

Isn't it funny how we can accept a woman whose had 3 boyfriends and had sex with all 3 but we can't accept a woman who may have had sex once and decided that instead of going for abortion she'll keep the child. The one without result (no be say result no dey, the result dey for body - in size or form) gets accolades but the one with evidence gets the title of "after one".

A lady may not tell you up front that she has a child, it has absolutely nothing to do with deception. You don't tell a lady how many ladies you've slept with on your first date, do you? She wouldn't even know if you'll like her for who she is, if you don't then she already knows you can't accept the child. If you get to like her then she begins to see the possibility of you accepting the child.

Whether one or five, its only an evidence that the one or five meeting points are on record

How many you do wey no get record?

Fire for Fire. You should have broken this down. You could pose it as a question and send in chunks as the discussion proceed or,

E too long even MFM member go tire to read it am.

You could begin a thread on sermons, others may be motivated to read or copy, paste and print. Whoever is visiting will be prepared for a long text.

Vashti was not disobedient neither was Esther perfect. Events played out that way because God had to fulfill a purpose and he chose Esther. What did Jesus say about the man who was born blind? You and I would have said his parents sinned or someone in his lineage cursed him but No! It was simply that through His blindness men may come to learn about the potency of miracles.

If your husband in his drunken state asked you to display your beauty, would you? Any Christian woman may not obey because 1. His request is lame 2. His directive is not "in the Lord". Should he even be drinking in the first instance let alone have the audacity to rub it in.

The order that saw Vashti out of her seat was a grave discrimination against women. The King in his alcohol-free state saw the folly of his actions and was going to go back on his words but just like men still do today they felt it wasn't manly, they felt their wives will become disrespectful on account of that so they pushed him to stick by it.

Esther wasn't perfect but she was chosen above Vashti which is the only reason she succeeded. As a Christian, will you allow your sister enter into a beauty contest where Obasanjo for instance has to have sex with the contestants before making a choice. I'm not a theologian but the phrase used in the Bible passage is indicative of the King having sex with Esther. What if the King had chosen someone else? What about other girls that were not chosen by the King?

Esther was chosen simply because she was favored by God. She was on a mission. Some actions are wrong but if ordained and directed by God it carries a special status. We celebrate Ruth, a woman who was encouraged to "uncover" a married man's skirt? We condemn single parenthood, yet Mary, an unmarried woman was chosen to have the supernatural birth.

God's hand in any situation brings a turn around.

Seun, you need to create a site strictly for teens and anoda for agbalagbis to avoid craddle rocking

You fit marry ya big sista? 9 years older no be big sista na aunty!

Pain will simply add to your headache.

The Church of Later Days Saint (Mormon) and others preach something similar but there aint salvation of the dead according to the BIBLE.

You seem to have all the answers,

Man fit apply? Yeye guy, if you be better person your girl no for elope.

U fit be da wrong person, you fit dey walk for wrong circles, your outlook (dress sense, language etc) fit dey attract wrong people, if your person/personality, outlook and circle is right, e fit be spiritual; pray.

When love dies? Be true to your partner and let him/her know; the decision of leaving or staying should be based on info.

Should you marry your big sister? Hell no! In Yorubaland person wey carry 6-months old pass you na sista.

I know someone who is very skilled in the field. If the person is serious serious, contact me. But first visit http://www.nbc-nig.org/ to see if it's something he/she wants to venture into.

I'm shocked to see a number of respondents using "it". Abeg a child is either he or she. The 2 individuals who couldn't zip up should be refered to as "it".

If the woman can bear to laccept (asking her to love may be asking for too much) the child; I'd suggest taking the child in. If she does accept the innocent child now she could feel otherwise when she begins to deal with the effects (of her husband's irresponsible act) like STI, STD or the worst case scenarios.

If the man can bear to let go of his humble "sperm" donation; putting the child up for adoption is another option.

Whatever the decision, make sure the papers are well signed; the prostitute may turn a new leaf and demand for her position as mother and legal concubine (na Yoruba's talk say eni bi'mo fun ni ku ro l'ale eni - the one who has a child for you can no longer be regarded as a mistress).

Marriage has never being a mark of success; look around you and you'll see that there are more unhappily married than unmarried women. Family life is beautiful and worth ones while when there's mutual love and respect and that's what we should aim for not some signed paper that say "owned!"