₦airaland Forum

We have a recruitment software called hr master for either sale or lease.
The features are...

1. Applicants can apply directly to the website and submit their CV and other personal details (no need to have them mass mail it to your email and block/fill up your email space).

2. Admins create online tests and set it up as current test. From the application, admin sends one email message that is sent to all applicants about the date, link and time of their test.

3. Applicants are then scheduled for an online test assessment (no need for paper work tests or for applicants to travel to the Venue). They can attempt it from anywhere in the world....even on their phones.

4. Applicants get their score and grade immediately they attempt the exam. Notification is sent via email or SMS to them and the admin.

5. After test, admin then sets cut off mark and immediately the application screens and gives him the applicants that passed based on the cutoff mark supplied.

6.list of successful applicants can even be exported directly to excel and printed out.

Application eliminates stress and saves time. Simple as ABC

In case you or anyone you know would require a working demo pls get in touch with us at info@libertydigitalsolution.com or visit http://hrmaster.libertydigitalsolution.com/adminlogin.php

Thanks

hi guys.
My latest web project (hr master), just got featured for sale on side projects on their home page. Its a full fledged hr application that makes recruitment process easier. please visit https://www.sideprojectors.com/project/project/7064/hr-master to check it out.

Also for a demo of my project (to test and review) pls log on to http://hrmaster.libertydigitalsolution.com/adminlogin.php for the admin view and http://hrmaster.libertydigitalsolution.com for the applicant view

The application is a must have for companies or organizations that do recruitment processes, scholarship purposes etc. Get in touch if you need a presentation
Thanks

okonja:
It's a WordPress site

Unfortunately nothing can be dine concerning that. Its lost. Its just to restart again. Pele

okonja:
The site has been suspended (maybe the hosting subscription has expire), and just like you said, I chatted the hosting company this afternoon but was told they can't give me the cpanel details.

Yeah...is the site a static site? If yes, get the files thorough a site grabber.
If not restart the hosting.
Lastly I do hosting. contact me for a discount ok?

Bro forget it. I suggest u get a new host. The hosting company won't ever believe you. The best you can do is to get a site grabber, download all the web site pages (hopefully its in HTML) and re host it. Contact me if u need more help.

hi guys.
My latest web project (hr master), just got featured for sale on side projects on their home page. Its a full fledged hr application that makes recruitment process easier. please visit https://www.sideprojectors.com/project/project/7064/hr-master to check it out.

Also for a demo of my project (to test and review) pls log on to http://hrmaster.libertydigitalsolution.com/adminlogin.php for the admin view and http://hrmaster.libertydigitalsolution.com for the applicant view

The application is a must have for companies or organizations that do recruitment processes, scholarship purposes etc. Get in touch if you need a presentation.

Thanks

hi guys.
Our latest web project (hr master), just got featured for sale on side projects on their home page. Its a full fledged hr application that makes recruitment process easier. please visit https://www.sideprojectors.com/project/project/7064/hr-master to check it out.

Also for a demo of my project (to test and review) pls log on to http://hrmaster.libertydigitalsolution.com/adminlogin.php for the admin view and http://hrmaster.libertydigitalsolution.com for the applicant view

The application is a must have for companies or organizations that do recruitment processes, scholarship purposes etc. Get in touch if you need a presentation
Thanks

hi guys.
My latest web project (hr master), just got featured for sale on side projects on their home page. Its a full fledged hr application that makes recruitment process easier. please visit https://www.sideprojectors.com/project/project/7064/hr-master to check it out.

Also for a demo of my project (to test and review) pls log on to http://hrmaster.libertydigitalsolution.com/adminlogin.php for the admin view and http://hrmaster.libertydigitalsolution.com for the applicant view

The application is a must have for companies or organizations that do recruitment processes, scholarship purposes etc. Get in touch if you need a presentation.

Thanks

Lol...the guy looked at the woman and said......OK, its not a threat now, its a promise. Hmmmm una no dey hear abi. Don't argue with an armed man .
Sadly what he said is the truth. The case go turn to unknown solider. Be wise.

DRIFTyKING:
Cant elieve I actually said this

How? L

RadicallyBlunt:
There are many but I won't quote bcus I mentioned God as a creator not in d name of any religion.

Nice reply. I was about to say wise words. Then I looked at your signature and smiled. God bless u bro

Hi dear. I know how u feel. Truth is regardless of what anyone says here...the final decision to stop this habit lies in your husband's hand. Bit for now...
1. Have a heart to heart talk with it. Explain to him how it hurts. I'm hoping your husband is the listening type?

2. If no. 1 doesn't work out (and that's after doing it over and over again), look out for someone he respects. Make sure its not a female though. The person must be wise enough to explain how u feel to him.

Lastly put it in the hands of God. Don't feel like doing yours back to get at him. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Cheer up. Its gonna be all right OK.

temi4fash:
Happy New Year...

This year would be a great one for you

A billion amen to that. Thanks bro

ccollins:
does grace remove somethings from the law i.e an eye for an eye. I have seen some Christian leaders wives put on heavy make up does grace allow this evn though the law forbid it because I understand your point where you noted that one cannot live by both grace and law. Lastly brethen, since the law no longer applies on us, grace does not mean we should sin.then what is the commandments of God under grace?since we no longer have any business with law

a


First of all bro...thanks so much for joining the conversation. Nevertheless for the sake of understanding....let me point out something here for u and others sir...
The ten commandments per say is Not the law (when used in this context. The law refers to all those laws that God added along side the ten commandments...e.g circumsion, killing of rams, sprinkling blood for passover.....those are what is typically referred to as the law. The ten commandments given from God through moses hasn't changed. It still remains the law of God. The law that I referee to as been abolished is called the TORAH in the Hebrew language.
Now, the bible says....shall we remain in sin that grace may abound. That we are in grace isn't a license to sin.

And yes we cannot live in both the dispensation of grace and law. Do you know why? Let me tell you. If anyone on the forum wants to live by the law, it means that every time you sin, you will go and buy a male bull, kill it and sprinkle the blood over you and your family. HOW LONG WILL YOU DO THAT? Grace says repent, confess your sin, forsake it and obtain mercy. WHICH DO U PREFER?

CONCERN THE APPLICATION OF MAKE UP BY SOME Christian LEADERS WIVES ...MY RESPONSE TO U IS WHAT THE BOOK OF HEBREWS SAYS.....LOOKING UP TO JESUS, THE author AND FINISHER OF OUR FAITH.
The issue of make up or no make up is left to the individual to apply his or her conscience and direction from God. Somewhere up in this thread, I gave the revelation I receive from God concerning it. O don't went to go back there.
As we continue in a new year, may the grace of God mix with a ten thousand gallons of the mercy of God and baptize us from the crown of our head to the soul of our feet. Amen.

muehonyx22:
HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!!!!!!!!

Cc nnamdiosu shadeyinka 701ecilana CharlyG1 tjayjosh temi4fash hananhezron TRADELYN providence338 NnaNna4 and the rest of this wonderful family. your profound contributions has helped me to an extent. so I thank you all

May you continue to enjoy the fellowship of the spirit and by God's grace, many more new years to come in jesus name.

Thank so much dearest friend. A happy and more fulfilling new year to us all. We just triumph over the enemy ijn. Amen

CharlyG1:
Hello Guys,


It feels sooooooo goooooood to be here. I'm excited, as I feel God's fire in my bones. I will be back online fully by next week.. By the grace of God.


The new year is just few hours away. I pray for you that as this year 2017 dies and gives birth to year 2018, may everything that held you down in 2017 die. And may there be a new change and birth of God's blessings in your life in the year 2018.


This year shall mark
* Marriage for you

* Financial breakthrough

* Long life

* Good health & Healing

* Promotion

* Good job

* Peace and Wealth

* Spiritual elevation &

* Prosperity in every area of your life. Amen.

I cancel the plans of Satan against you. I rebuke the spirit of badluck and the spirit of death against your life in Jesus Name. Amen


Year 2018 is your year to stand out amongst the crowd. It shall be so in your life. Amen

I claim every in Jesus name..amen

ccollins:
thank you my brother,this is a wisdom and understanding only from God. Can we follow the law and salvation of Jesus both at same time because there are some laws which are important still like love your neigbour as you love yourself. Now galatians chapter 5 verse 14 shows the importance of the law but verse 18 and verse4 now says if you are lead by the Spirit,you are not under the law. So is the law still important? If I get baptised with the Holy Spirit, should I abandon the law then?

Thanks bro. Now listen...
Bible says that THERE IS NO NAME UNDER HEAVEN AT WHICH MAN CAN BE SAVED...EXCEPT FOR JESUS

GALATIANS AND ROMANS WERE trying TO EXPLAIN TO US THAT WE CANT PLEASE OR SERVE GOD WITH THE LAW. ITS IMPOSSIBLE.
its like saying you used to trek and get to your destination. Now, someone brought a jeep. But u still refused and said since I was trekking before, let me continue trekking. Or you say...let me be trekking and enter the jeep and mix the two. no wisdom in that.

There is a new way. A more perfect way. There is a jeep. its called grace. Discard trekking (the law). No need to combine the two.
Grace is enough. Grace is all we need to overcome.
Abandon the law....(I mean like killing rams, washing of hands etc) . we don't need it. God bless you bro

ccollins:
what happens to the bible verse that sayss God is same yesterday,today and forever. And this means Jesus fulfilled the law but not destroy it, then how?

Hello bro...thanks
1. God is always the same yesterday, today and forever. However that saying is concerning HIS CHARACTERISTICS(e.g love, kind, compassionate etc) and his ATTRIBUTES (omnipresence, omniscience etc)
However, some of his ordinances were changed because of the age or dispensation.e.g
God order that goats should be killed and the blood sprinkled on the people of Israel. But that ordinance has been changed. Because it was just to explain.....that when Jesus (who is the perfect sacrifice) comes along, God will sprinkle his blood over us. It was for us (and the Jews), to understand that blood removes sins....so Jesus blood removes sins. So in effect, the ordinance wasn't really changed per day, it was just promoted. So God doesn't changed. His law remains the same.

2/ Jesus came to fulfil the law...or rather....perfect the law...but installing grace. God has already for told that Jesus will come to destroy the works of Satan in the book of genesis. Jesus himself is the word of God. Jesus didn't destroy the law....but the bible says the law is a shadow of the better things to come. Jesus brought the better thing. Jesus brought grace. Grace is better than the law.

ccollins:
please brother,i came after sometime from a forum recently which is known by the name landover baptist church forum and although it seems to be a godly forum but they still talk on important of the law like Christ did not abolish the law and many things in old testament are still applicable.what do you think?

Hello bro. The truth is......bible says that Christ has redeemed us from the law...we now serve God by grace.
Bible also says that its impossible to please God by the law. The law is just a shadow if the better things (in Christ ) to come.
The truth is Christ came to show us a better way to serve God...in spirit and in truth. The law can't save. Only Christ can save. The law was a school master to guide us to Christ.

Jesus save the whole law is compasses in two commandments.
Love the lord with all your heart....and love your neighbour as yourself. That's the summarization of the whole law.

God bless u bro. Amen

morgan844:
i wanted her to feel the pain she caused me i have already pull down the picture. i never knew she will cry like a baby

Pm me. Let's talk. End your conversations on this thread if you want a solution...if u don't want a solution, continue.

queenfav:
Even the men a woman lies stark naaked in bed for, will still cheat if they want to.... It takes a lot of self discipline and the fear of God for a man to be a good husband, it's not a function of what his woman does or doesn't do!A woman should however try to stay attractive for her man.

We know the above is true.....however let the ladies do their part so we know at least you tried. Its like someone saying that..."since everybody will die one day, let me just cross road without looking"
Marriage is however more than staying attractive, although its one of the things that keep it.
Thanks

jeffizy:
Unfortunately, love can sometimes not be enough.
I really feel the trauma you are experiencing.

But in life, sometimes you have to wake up to the reality.
If she has a tangible reason for the distant behavior she suddenly exhibits now, fine.
But if she's got nothing tangible as excuse, have a heart to heart talk with her. If it doesn't work, I'm sorry, I don't know what else will.

bro for the way u answered this question send me a pm of ur no. i want to send u recharge card. very serious

cummando:
She Go still die last last

Bro.....will u live for ever?

nifemi25:
You haven't tell us what you did. They stopped you on a bike and demanded for 100k just like that? Bros why did you gave them 30k without any offense?

Are u in Nigeria? If u are, then u will know that the police can do anything. Don't u know that towards Christmas time, they just use buses to go to busstops and arrest PEOPLE waiting AT BUSSTOPS?

Op is eben lucky sef. Trust me

desreek9:
Thanks for the concern, you are the only one i'll reply on this issue cos i saw the way most people judged me which was not nice.

It's not that i didnt forgive him, i did but the thought of him touching me talk more of having sex is wat i cant get over, he met me a virgin, dat alone made the trust vanish.

The reason why i brought the issue here is cos i dnt want to involve any of our family so that their attitude wud not change towards him and i saw the way he was suffering, me too and i love him with all my being so i was willing to give it a chance, i needed an anonymous advice and nairaland was my best bet.

Right now things are good, i made sure it didnt affect any other aspectof our life and my kids, we are in counseling, we've resolved the issue and am hoping it stays this way henceforth.
God bless.

Hi friend,
You did very well. In fact I'm impressed by your acts of maturity and understanding towards him.
About the rude replies....don't let it bother you. People always think its easy, till it happens to them then they u understand what others went through. Ignore the other rude replies.

Yes , counselling is also another way forward. Bare your mind and healing will come.

Do u still feel that way towards ur husband? I mean
.....the thought of him touching you? If u do, its normal. It will wear off. Just ensure you do those things you did with him before...e.g bathing together, eating together, or any other thing u both did together.

Marriage isn't easy. But with God, it is. I wish you the very best in your life and marriage.
Your marriage will grow from strength to strength and love to more love.
It will end in praise. Good night ma.

desreek9:
Please take time to read this, I really need your advice.

I am a working mother of four kids (2 sets of twins) been married since 2012; I and my husband communicate well, our sex life is great (we explore diff. styles) and I make sure everyone is contented and satisfied or so i thought.
How i found out he was cheating

I noticed I didn't see my period for two months which is weird, I checked if i was with child but it was negative, before then I noticed burning feeling when i pee and pains so i decided to see a doctor, that was how i received the greatest shock of my life. I was told i had STD, I was in shock, crying and shaking cos i know i got it from my husband, was told to do an HIV test.

After the longest wait of my life and vomiting due to anxiety and panic, it was negative. Three months later was still negative, I went home thinking of ways to kill my husband. Later that night i first asked him if he was cheating he blatantly denied but when i showed him the test result, he was dumbfounded and started begging, i asked him why with tears rolling down my eyes, he couldn't give any reason because he knows everything was great btw us, i told him we would never make love anymore that i can't risk my life because of sex, he was begging me saying he would change, i told him i can never trust him cos once a cheat, always a cheat.

My people, it's over a year and we've not had sex, he can't chase me away from the house because we both built it and the land is in my name, sometimes he comes home late but i really don't care since we have separate bedroom. He said he can't leave because he will have to tell his and my people but he doesn't want the embarrassment.

Apart from all these, every other aspect is great at home, so my question is this; is my decision too harsh or am i justified?

Hello dearie....
You and I know that your decision was too harsh. That's why u came here. Because your conscience is pricking you.

Yes he cheated. Yes he wrong you. Yes its not easy
But what has happened has happened. Accept that.
Forgive him. And move on. People make mistakes. We all do. People change. Cheats, prostitutes, murders....people change.
And..you too have to change......forgive him.
I'm here if u wanna talk.

betafuture:
I am very sorry, it seems like anytime I post on Nairaland is actually the time I have great challenges in my life, however, my posts also reflect the chronicle of my life. You may wish to check out my last posting about how I was sacked in the Bank with a debt that was guaranteed by a junior staff, whose job was threatened by the loan I obtained and she guaranteed for me. please find the link https://www.nairaland.com/2282140/loan-incured-before-termination-appointment Like I mentioned in that post, I got a job as with a Rep member and he appointed me as the Special assistant on a salary of 80k monthly and my boss paid my rent, of which I engage with my lender to take 50k with me monthly and right off the excess interest and stop disturbing the junior colleague, an arrangement they agreed to and everybody was fine, save that I had to struggle to cope with 30k monthly as a family man, working in Abuja. My wife never complained. I just gave her 25k from the salary, once received, to buy food for the family why I tried to manage with the remaining 5k. It was tough! Luckily, a junior lady cousin who works in a bank was posted to Abuja and we had to accommodate her. She was very kind and understood my plight. Sometimes, she drops up to 50k for my wife to augment the house expenses. She would tell me and sometimes, I would take additional 10k to ad to my pocket money.

The home was running, my son, my wife and my cousin, including myself were very happy. As a banker, I had learned the skill of marketing and networking and negotiation. In the course of my sojourn in the national assembly I met a head of a parastatal wjo needed me to do some strategic alliance between his organization and my boss. We later became great friends, and i realized I could access a scholarship to study in the UK through him. To cut the story short, I pursued this opportunity to the latter and I got a Federal government scholarship to pursue a Masters degree in the UK. I saw this as an opportunity to rewrite the story of my life. Two months in the UK, I began to look for means to bring my wife and son to join me in the UK. While I was in UK, I made it a point of duty to send 150k to my wife in Nigeria on monthly basis (Remember I was on scholarship) and I also do student work in the UK. Because we did not sell our car during the crisis, I also gave the custody of the car to her.

FIRST SUSPICION

When she was about coming to the UK with my 7 years old son, we decided to give out some of our home appliances and sell most of them including the car. Since I was not in Nigeria, she was to manage the transactions. Because I opened her e-mail address, i do see her mails, so i could see the alert on her GTB. The first thing that prompted me was that the amount she received for the sales of our car was 100k higher than what she declared to me. (The fund was meant to buy the flight tickets for her and my son). There were other expense transactions that were over declared, but the actual amount debited to her account were quite low. I did not confront her on these issues until she arrived UK with my son. When I did, I could see the way she manipulatively and professionally lied her way out of the whole issue. I did not pick an offense, hence i made her to understand that I was never convinced. Since then my instinct told me that if she could lie to me so much on finance, maybe there are other things going on in her life that I never known. However, I opened her Facebook account for her years ago in Nigeria, but I never bothered to check it. Out of curiosity, I tried login into her Facebook account and I discovered she has changed the password. My first reaction was to check it, but had I done that, she would have been conscious, then I used my skill as an trained IT security expert to crack her password and then access her Facebook. I ran through all her messenger message and everything was fine. Apart from a certain guy who always beg her for assistance and prayer, there was nothing really suspicious about her messanger and then, we continued with our normal life.

After a week in UK, she started to work as a carer (her visa permitted her to work fully), and she began to make money. I know how much enters her account and we decide how to spend. My son also start schooling and life began to have meaning again. I finished my masters with a distinction and the best graduating student in my department and my University offered me automatic admission for PhD, with part scholarship.l To remain, we needed to source funds to show evidence that my family can stay with me in the UK and show evidence of the balance of school fees. We sourced for money everywhere. She brought all she had and we had to borrow both from UK and Nigeria. My boss was very supportive and I commenced the PhD this September. As a family, we have a problem. My son is now 8 years and we have been trying to make another baby but it does not seem to be forthcoming. We have been to hospitals in the UK, we were both tested and once told my sperm motility was low, treated, but later we were considered both ok.

Since her arrival in the UK, I noticed that my wife suddenly repel sexxx. Sometimes, we had sexxxx just once in a month, she would find a way of brushing away by advances. At a level, i had to ask if there was any problem, but she said it was because of the new environment, her jobs and what have you. This further told me that all was not well in my marriage. She knows I love her and I would do anything for her. While we were yet trying to pay my tuition, her mum got a US visa and all the children were making contributions for her journey, I had to take from my school fees and send to Nigeria and manage my school to give us more time. I tried to ensure that we continually live like one happy family.

Do not let me sound like one perfect good guy. I had also lived a rough bad life in the past and she is aware. During my days in the bank, I had been sexually reckless and irresponsible. There was a time I left office to a gal house, fckked her and I never knew that the condom we used was stick to my shoe. I drove with it home, entered home very late at night, my wife was already angrily waiting for me in the house, only to see a used condom with sperm inside attached to the soul of my shoe. It was an issue that we had to battle with for weeks, even though I never confess it was from, I told a story that it must have got gummed to me at the mechanic village where I had gone to pick my car in the evening (She was aware that someone has accused my mechanic of having sexxx in his car, leaving condom at the back seat). after few weeks, we resolved the issue and we continued leaving normal life. However, there was also a time I suspected her activities on Facebook and I realised a guy whom she has known in the past has been pestering her and she seems to be encouraging him (That was during our period of financial crisis). I had confronted her, she had denied they never had anything but the guy was just pestering her. I apologised and went sober. I called the guy (who was also married) and lived in another faraway city. The guy denied having anything to do with her that she just knew her while growing up. The guy originally blasted me, but later called back and apologized and promised never to disturb her again. I was hurting for months, after which I forgave, forgot and moved on. Let me also state that during the period of my financial crisis, I made a covenant with God, after listening to a message, that whatever the case maybe, I will remain faithful to my wife. This I have manage to keep despite advances from both married and single friends and acquaintances.

THE REAL ISSUE

Now, we are living in the UK and very happy, she is working full-time, while I pursue my PhD full-time, work part-time and my son schools full-time and we were all happy, save the issue of delayed pregnancy and (to me, the poor sex life from her). Let me also state that I bought her a Samsung phone (when she arrived last year), which I have full access to because I know her password. Few months ago, she told me she wanted a bigger phone that she would send the one I bought her to my younger brother in Nigeria who had been disturbing her for a phone. Even though, I thought we did not need to spend money on a new phone at that crucial time because of the looming school expenses, I consented just for her to be happy and she got herself a Samsung galaxy s8 plus for 700pounds, which she would repay of 2 years. The first thing that prompted me about the phone was that she changed her password, but I never mind because I thought she was preventing my son, who always loved to play game on her phone from accessing the phone. However, after few weeks, I began to feel very uncomfortable about the whole stuff. My instinct just told me all was not well. Whatever was it, I could not place my finger on it. But after reviewing my work with my supervisor in the University yesterday, I just felt like going home to rest, instead of studying in the school and then, I met wife in the house with my son. She was trying to order some items online for my son for Christmas and on arrival, she gave her phone to select what we should buy for him, and then, the FB message came into her phone and I could read...'it is not what you think, I have been very busy'

I selected the item I thought was ok, gave returned her phone, picked my laptop and logged in to her Facebook. My wife pretended she was enganging me in discussion, but was responding to the message from a guy, who obviously was her lover and she wrote (I was reading from my computer without her knowledge) 'You know I will ALWAYS LOVE YOU'. and the other guy responded 'I love you more baby' (By this time, I was already burning on the seat, but I somehow managed to keep my calm). She wrote 'But you don't call me' ...and she stood up and went to the kitchen (I wanted to gather enough evidence before I reacted), but immediately she got to the kitchen, she deleted the conversation. At this time, I could not take it. My son was in the sitting room, watching cartoon. I went to her in the kitchen and aggressively confronted her. She originally pretended she did not know what I was saying, but when she say the aggression and seriousness in me she started begging and crying. I lost control of my emotion. I was angry and shouting. My son was there. He was too young, but very intelligent. he understood everything and began to blame his mum, at the same time asking me ti give mum a second chance. I was bitterly hurting. I felt like tearing her into pieces, but if I tried that in UK, it will be straight to jail. She could not state the reason behind her action. She was still trying to lie. She said the guy was her ex and they recently became friends on Facebook and the guy is trying to rekindle the old relationship. The guy is based in Nigeria, they do not even see. Everything she said was incoherently sense. All she wanted was that I should forgive her. I should not tell anybody. She cried, wept and what have you. I was hurting. If it were to by Nigeria, she would have left my house yesetrday, but in UK, it is difficult. The love turned to hatred. She managed to convince me to enter room with her, so that she will discuss the issue with me, without getting our son involved. In the room, it was the same crying and plea for forgiveness and a promise it would never happen again. I told her i was ok, but she would not let me out. I had to angrily shove her away from the door and she hit her head against the wardrobe. i was too angry, too sad, and too hateful to care. i called her all manners of unprintable names. I cursed her, I was just too angry. She kept begging. I left for the sitting room and she came back, knelt down before me and kept begging. My son was crying that two of us were making him sad. The young boy even threatened to tell his teacher in the school on monday. I was too angry to listen. I just told her to let me be. She stood up with tears in her eyes to enter the toilet, I checked her Facebook account again and realised that the lover had sent another message thus: "My dear I don't call you always to protect your home, but I always check your pictures every night before I go to bed" As I was reading, she stupidly deleted that again in the toilet. (Please note that my wife always post our family pictures on facebook, stating how I am the best husband in the world).

My anger erupted again and I rushed to meet her in the bathroom and asked her why she deleted the last message of the guy and she tearfully answered that she did not want me to see anything that could aggravate my anger the more. I angrily snatched the phone from her and smashed it on the floor. She knelt down at my feet and continued to cry and beg for forgiveness, but I was hurting so badly. I left for sitting room again and my son was confusedly crying. She came back and knelt before me and continued begging and weeping and begged we should go back to the room to discuss, at least to protect our son. After a while, i followed her. There was nothing to say; the same weeping, crying and promises to not do it again and swearing that they never had anything together. I told her I needed to talk to the guy and she pleaded I should not. I told her she is giving me an impression that she is protecting the guy so that she could continue her illicit affairs with him and told her it would not work. The can change tactics, but its is only a matter of time. I told her, I would forgive her, but I cannot trust her again and when there is no trust in marriage, the marriage is gone. I also told her I must engage that guy that she should give me his number, but she said her phone is no longer working. I made her feel comfortable that I have forgiven her, but honestly I am hurting. I went back to my laptop, continued chat with the guy on her messenger, but he was now online. We both slept on the same bed, i realised she could not sleep. In the middle of the night she woke me up to beg again, she was offering a make-up sexxx, but I was not interested. I told her i had forgiven her, but I am still hurting and there is no way i could have erection with her. In the morning, I checked her messanger, i discovered the iddiot has responded, still claiming to love her. I checked his profile, I realised he is a muslim, who has a wife with two kids. His location was not shown, but most of his pics her in Nigeria apart from two which have foreign background. I also realize he has limited posts on FB, but the phone number on his FB page is US phone number.

From my wife's FB account, I sent a message thus:

Hi, Mr Farouq, my name is Adams, I am Grace husband
I just wish to inform you that all the rubbish you have been doing with my wife are now exposed to me
I advise you in the name of whatever thing you believe, STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE.

I also realize you are a married man. If you have any moral integrity and respect for family values, you will know that
responsible men do not run after married women or break homes.

I do not care whatever you claim you think of her, just heed this warning STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE.

He read it an never respond. I went to her facebook setting and unfriended him.

I left home in the morning to go study in the library, but honestly, I could not assimilate anything. I am so emotionally broken down, so psychologically disturbed. The whole event kept playing in my head. I found it difficult to rationalise it. I continued to find fault in my being and my personality. I know I am very attractive handsome young man. Despite showing I am married, ladies still flock around me. I am also a passionate lovemaker. I dress well and look neat. I don't seem to understand where I have failed. Sometimes I just close my eyes and i feel tears dripping, but I have got to be strong. As for her, she has remained in the room since morning, hiding her head in shame and crying profusely. I have cut off communication with her since I came back from school and I have enganged myself in drinking spirit maybe my spirit will be strenghtened.

This is my story, this is my ordeal. Please I need advice.

Thanks.

Bro I do hope u read this and reply me. I'll love to say more things to u than I can type here OK. Pls try to get back to me asap.

Now, I'll do my best to be honest. I'll be as real as possible. It might hurt but the truth is what u need to heal.
1. What has happened has happened. You can't turn the hands of time. Just get that fact straight first.

2. You've tried. I commend you. But you have a fault that if u don't check, it might destroy you. YOU HAVE TO CALM DOWN. (THATS Y I BROUGHT THE NO. 1 POINT FIRST). NO MATTER THE PAIN, YOU SHOULDNT HAVE ALLOWED YOUR SON TO BE IN THE KNOW. YOU HAVE DAMAGER A VITAL PART OF HIS LIFE. FORGET about YOU, YOU, YOU FOR NOW. THINK OF SOMEONE ELSE OK?

3. YOUR WIFE HAS EXPRESSED REMORSE, PAIN, TEARS ETC. ACCEPT IT, forgive her AND START HEALING.

4. you need to forgive her. YOU DID THE same TO HER. YOU TOO cheated. YOU CHEATED. YOU TOO CHEATED. YOU TOO CHEATED. IM repeating this for IT TO SINK DOWN. SO don't feel like she has done the unforgivable sin. THAT DOESNT MAKE RIGHT WHAT SHE DID. That's not excusing her fault. I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT ITS TWO WAYS.

5. ITS TIME TO REPAIR YOUR FAMILY AND MOVE ON. think of all you sacrifice. Pain. Sweat. Love. Would you want to make all vain now? .NOTE THAT THE FAROK GUY IS ENJOYING HIS OWN MARRIAGE SOMEWHERE. ITS UP TO YOU TO BE WISE. DONT CAST YOURSELF.

6. PLS ENSURE THIS MATTER STAYS WITHIN THE FAMILY. DONT TELL ANYONE. IF YOU HAVE, STOP.

7. Its not easy. I know. But it could have being worse, thank God it isn't. I've seen worse, (that doesn't excuse the pain, I know). But its time to move on. You can't go forward if you still hurting.

Contact me. I have much to say.
Breath. Just breath. This will pass.

Realitycheck007:
Good day,

Good people of nairaland, I am new to the thread so please bear my mishaps. Nairaland was Introduced to me by a colleague of mine at the office yesterday. So i said i should seek your advice on an issue bothering me.. Back to the topic.

Name withheld, My fiancee has been my girl for over 4 months now, and by early next year am thinking of taking it to the alter by God's grace but here is the problem....

On 3 or 4 occasions i have invited her to spend the night at my place, she do agrees but the problem is she over sleeps. She would sleep from 11 till 7am, A working class lady. I dunno how to tell her again, Cause i told her jokingly she laughed about it and said Is It my sleep. Imagine marrying her and she wakes by 7 or 8, Were is the time to take care of our kids nd d home I.E, Preparing breakfast and bathing the kids and also preparing for her work hour..... Please Nairalanders, Your opinions will be highly welcomed.

Mods please push to front page for more assistance

Oga weh done o. So....for a lady to sleep late, it now means she is not a wife material bah? Is that club material?
On a more serious note, you can't gauge that in the school of wife materialism. Besides, remove it from your mind now that she'll just be taking care of the kids and doing house work when she marries. Is that all there is to marriage?
If there is an attitude that she possess that you don't like, calmly talk to her, addressing your points. No one is perfect. Not even you.
Marriage is more than using sleep to judge wife material. Its about BEGINNING A journey WITH ANOTHER HUMAN BEING (FOR EVER), THAT HAD A TOTAL BACK GROUND FROM YOURS. ......AND ONLY GOD CAN HELP YOU MAKE A RIGHT CHOICE. NOT CALCULATING THE NUMBER OF hours SPENT SLEEPING. I pray God helps you choose right in Jesus name .
Allow madam sleep her mind biko. Smile

Emmanystone:
Pls can we Stupid Christians (YES, STUPID CHRISTIANS) begin to realize that our loved ones are not ours but God's? God created them, sent them to this world without our consent or contribution how come we begin to hate God anytime any of his children is called back home?


We are God's properties, hence, can be withdrawn from this world at anytime without any explanation or apologies from the Most High God.

The painful part is, someone will live a reckless life of sin and open all manner of dangerous doors which attracts death, when death comes we begin to hate and reject God. I say enh?

THIS IS REALLY STUPID.


Most of the dead people die doesn't even come from God, why then do we blame Him for them?

The Bible says HE WHO DWELLS IN THE secrete PLACE OF the MOST HIGH, SHALL ABIDE UNDER THE SHADOW OF THE ALMIGHTY.

If we don't dwell/abide, how can we be guaranteed of his protection? Yet when something happens as a result of the exposure, we open our stupid mouths and blame the God we don't honour.

I don't have any sympathy for anyone who wants to withdraw from God becos of calamity or death. It all shows the person is either not a Christian or an ignorant one.

What shd separate us from the LOVE OF GOD? SHD DEATH?

I don vex now.

brother, love is kind. love is gentle.
love is understanding. curseth not. speaketh good of all.....

In as much as i understand your point, I however have to reprimand mind you sir, (with complete love and no offense meant). you were very wrong to have said this. Your grace is not my grace. the death of a love one, leaves different effect on different people. If you are the kind that can bear the pain, you shouldn't despise others who are weak, (BECAUSE BY STRENGTH SHALL NO MAN PREVAIL).
WHEN JESUS MEET MARY AND ,MARTHA AT THE TOMB OF THEIR BROTHER, HE DIDN'T SPEAK SUCH. INSTEAD HE GRIEVED WITH THEM, HE WEPT. lets show love. bible says mourn with those who are mourning. bear one another's burden.

trust me brother, MAY THE DEATH THAT BRINGS DEEP PAIN NOT OCCUR TO YOU, BECAUSE IF IT HAPPENS YOU WILL DISCOVER THAT HE THAT THINKETH HE STANDS SHOULD TAKE HEED LEST HE FALLS.

God bless you bro.