I really think you should dump that girl and go for her mom; she's the honest one.

I'd have just said throw some poisoned fish in the ceiling or simply fumigate your house but no.

I've scanned my head, racked my brain, undressed my senses and rearranged my understanding to ponder over your post but I still have not and may not understand the essence of telling us about the girl who slept over in your house in this 'cat-in-my-ceiling' tale.

How does that relate to the subject matter?
Apparently to recieve accolades that your girl-game must be good if you could consummate new kpekus within a week.

But if your game was that good, a girl who came to pass the night in your house won't be sleeping already at the middle of the night,

If you were a maestro in the sheets, just the intensity of that lady's moans would have driven even evil spirits away from your roof.

The sex must have been really awful for cats and rodents to cry out in protest for the poor girl.

Too bad you made a mess of your shot, I doubt she'd visit again.
I can only imagine the sore sight the unlucky girl must have had to endure, limp preek dangling in an oversized boxers as you poked the ceiling with a mopstick.

Next time you're going to be shagging a girl, use a hotel.

It's not fair that a lady would climb three flights of stairs just for a poor shag.
Tomorrow, you'd join in complaining about women with yam-legs.

Not so far from the truth.
I cohabitated with someone's daughter as an undergraduate.
She was God's gift to me to use in rehearsing what married life feels like.

Got her pregnant at least five times and served her as kola to a few of my cousins who came visiting.
She was so virtuous that she'd rather stay awake washing my underwears than reading for her exams.

It was through her that I perfected the skills of female manipulation.

I do miss her. She was such a good girl; but I'm glad that I wasn't the unlucky man she ended up with.
Because till today, she's still believing the Lord for a child.

If only she had a dad like KOK who'd check up on her unannounced, she wouldn't have misused her life in the University.

Thank you for this update.

I was really concerned about your predicament and was going to reach out to know if you'd need help with printing obituary posters or "gone too soon" tshirts because I didn't see him being found alive.

We can only be grateful that he is alive though not well, get someone to give him a wad of cash, that should help trigger his speech.

That's why I don't feel a thing when I am accused of being a tribalist.
It's in all of us.

And just like everyone is entitled to their opinion. I will not let their opinion be a distortion of the fact.

Peter Obi NEVER woke up and asked the Northerners to leave his state. The context of this fallacy has been tweaked to achieve divisive intents.

I stand to be corrected..but as usual, the facts will be twisted.

But why won't Tinubu who is famed not just for pillowing and owning the Commonwealth of his State but also for making derogatory comments about the Igbos be rated higher than a Peter Obi simply because he is of the same tribe as the poster?

I'd never understand the extremely low tolerance threshold of the new generational woman.

What ever happened to "for better, for worse"?
How did the abdication of the tenets of endurance that our mothers abided by in their own marriages become a norm today?

While we condemn bad, we must chastise evil as well.

Bad is, when a wife wakes up in the middle of the night and flees from Iran to Turkey, away from the confines of her marriage apparently in pursuit of a new preek.

But evil is when a religion makes it okay to decapitate the head of another just because their views oppose with ours.

This is what I'd never understand.

Shop owner will bring his 'sister' from the village to serve as salesgirl, two years later, she'd be the mother of his kids.

Baby girl will introduce Chief to you as her father's elder brother only for you to find out she's been sending nudes to him.

Same way Rosy told us she couldn't feel anything for Churchill because he was like a brother to her. Today she's the mother of his child.

Fear women.

Na today?
Chioma did a better job when Davido featured her in "Assurance".

Common sense should tell Baba that frequent diarrhea is a symptom of HIV.

Baba should run a HIV test first.

I relate to Ubi's post. The scriptures can never lie, for it is written in the Gospel of Future
Chapter 1:1-3

"From the streets did she emerge; and to the streets she will return,
For I say unto you, she is for the Streets,
So be not weary for she shall return from whence she came.

It is a shame this man allowed himself to fall for this and make a mess of himself by wifing an item that belongs to the streets.

Chai.

I wonder how autopsies are even done in Nigeria.
Is it not the same Nigeria where every fever is either caused by malaria or typhoid.

Or the same one where crime scenes are distorted by the first responders to see if they can find loose money or jewelries?

Even if you drink two litres of arsenic and died from a ruptured bile, a Nigerian autopsy will at best say you died of COVID that's if they don't say you died due to death.

I've learnt to take such advise with a pinch of iodine.

That's how Azeez filtered out the young girls that beg him for airtime, data and new phones, today he is left with evening newspapers that only beg him for a ring or his sperm.

She's not a smart girl, if not she would have figured out that it only takes her saying that she likes guys who can help her with her project for you to help her get it sorted out.

As for you, your ranting ends here...that girl has your balls in between her palms.
The harder she squeezes, the SIMPler you'd become.

Happy birthday Pa,
Many more years sir.

Truly, I say unto you..our forefathers are wise. What they saw while lying on top of the concubine, we can't see even on top of our choppers.

This is why our bride price is extremely expensive in Igbo land.
It brings value to marriage because your wife becomes an asset not a partner.

After spending almost 4million naira to marry a woman properly, who born your father to give a miscreant 10k to kill her?

But in some places, just prostrate, say ekpele and give them bush meat to add in making dinner; they'd hand over their daughter to you.

That's why the average Igbo man treats his wife like a goddess because he earned her by sweating through his nose.

In the days of Abacha, we were made to believe that people like Shehu Sani may have a lot to offer. That's why I was excited when he went for elective office.

The reason most guys take Burantashi, manpower, Black bullet and Small stout before sex with a new catch is because they know the importance of leaving a lasting first impression.

And with his Shehu Sani's performance as an elected officer, it's with a huge sense of shame and regret that I believe that Shehu Sani has used, misused and lost his opportunity at making an impact through politics.

He has no reason to want to recreate another impression, he should remain as the voice on Twitter.

In my opinion,

Kidnapping someone like Teni is not a very smart idea considering that your getaway vehicle has to be a crane and one Dyna truck.

Wait.
So Anonymous went from being a global hacker to DSS's dispatch rider?

Happy birthday baby girl.
Too bad they almost ruined your photoshoot but God pass them.

First, your dad took your earrings so you ended up wearing your mom's heavy oversized ones, then they opted for a full picture knowing they had very dirty sneakers on.

I wish you a very fulfilled life.
May you make your parents proud like I have made mine.
Help me tell them that you do not want to be a one-hit wonder, they should start working on a second 'album'.

Allah is merciful,
Allah is all-knowing.

But no matter how bad they say our police officers have become, it does not make any sense that Allah allowed this pretty lady to die in a car crash just to save her from marrying one.

Don't you like to see people happy?
Allah please take it easy and have the fear of God in you.

Allah is merciful,
Allah is all-knowing.

But no matter how bad they say our police officers have become, it does not make any sense that Allah allowed this pretty lady to die in a car crash just to save her from marrying one.

Don't you like to see people happy?
Allah please take it easy and have the fear of God in you.

Like joke, like joke, the VAR has declared a clean goal as offside.

This is the same reason the tyre is considered as being more just than the court clerk at Upper Iweka.

Some people just don't have any conscience, you stole money from someone, someone else stole part of it from you and you feel bad enough to make a fuss out if it?

The sad part is that most of these Kings are so fetish that even now that they are dead, you can't just shag their widows in peace.

I don't know which is easier to spot; a cum soaked panty, a person with a body odour or a child who has been brought up by an evil mom not to see any good in their father.

The fact that the first paragraph of your woe tale defends your mom and aims to minimize her influence on you betrays her.

I have seen plenty of your kind, fortunately for me, some of these scums are in my family, so that affords me the privilege of sniffing out the influence of long-time, manipulations momipulations once they start to complain.

The truth is,
No father is totally good, neither is there any who is totally bad. Some dads are write-offs no doubt, but it only takes a write-off of a child to write to the world of their own dad as a write-off even when pointers tell otherwise.

Some of our moms are horrible cooks, but how many times do we tell our friends that our mom's cooking was the reason most of us spent our growing years in hospitals?

It's one thing to have a brain and another to have a discerning brain.

From what I deduce,
Your dad is apparently an upright man, who would not side evil irrespective of who commits it so it's strange to your mom that he'd take sides with strangers rather than support the wrongs of his kids.

I also see you expect your dad to pick fights with people because your quarrelsome mom isn't cool with them. That's whack, infantile and shows how much you think like your mom.

The fact that he appreciates very little gifts from strangers shows he is appreciative too.

In my early twenties, I wasn't living in the family house playing referee while my parents fought, I already had a good job, a decent car and getting my preek wet most of the time in preparation for marriage.
So I relate to your dad's disappointment.

It is only unfortunate that his kids are not living up to his expectations and he is reminded of this each time he sees other kids who are and ends up voicing out his unfulfillment.

That's one of his flaws but the fact that you are alive is a testament that he was good enough to ejaculate into your mom's hollow chamber rather than allow her die childless.

I have now come to learn that the worst thing that can happen to a man is not to have a wife who spreads her legs for any Thumb, Preek and Harry but the worst thing that can happen to a man is to have a wife who spreads his flaws to not just any Tom, Dick and Harry but also to his kids.

But if you've concluded that your father is as useless as your mom has made you believe he is. Help her become a widow so you can marry her and make her taste what true love is or you can continue to hate him with every blood in your vein; but that won't stop him from being your father. Would it?

Till then, wait till you become a father with bunch of useless kids who have been completely turned against you by their troublesome mom and let's see if you won't make your dad look like a learner at cursing.

Mkpi Awada.

Quacks everywhere.

Relationship coach that is complaining about the police's normal relationship with civilians is that one a relationship coach?

Something is not right.

Is it that the tailor misappropriated Abba Kyari's material and sewed an undersized garment for him,

Or that

Abba Kyari wrongly delivered his own native to a different customer and ended up wearing the customer's smaller own.

From Abba's saga, I have come to understand that running escrow services entails the utmost attention to details otherwise it will mess you up big time.

Read this, then this

Also study this, then peruse this

After which, you can look at the house where the mother of our overly successful actress lives in.

Then and only then will you realize that a lot is done and plenty is said just for clout because even my South African Mastiff will not live in such a shanty.

I don't know which is worse; wearing a t-shirt with a Biafran insignia in front of an Army cantonment or hoping to travel the world with a Nigerian International Passport.

The only certain fact from either of the above scenarios is that you will be ill-treated, subjected to intense scrutiny, outrightly disenfranchised; sadly, the rest of the world will walk past, quietly minding their business as you're being fvcked up.

That is her subtle way of saying,

"Shebi, you've fvcked around and contracted Gonorrhea and now you've given it to me"

Women and this their opportunistic mindset that never takes them anywhere.

They set out to dig the man's gold and in the process they give up their own oil well that is even more valuable than the imaginary gold mine.
At the end of the day, it is their oil well that is drilled till it is only condemned oil left.

The men then abscond, leaving them broken hearted, no gold gotten and their prized oil well cannibalized into an oasis of scum.

But they'd never learn.
Just like the one that has just left her husband in a neighboring town to come sleep over at mine tonight.

By the time I'm done with her, she'd be forced to tattoo "men are scum" at the entrance to her kpekus.

What type of god stops you from using jewelry but won't stop you from bleaching?