₦airaland Forum

Apatheist: No, I am not.

and you instinctively knew what I was talking about? Tell me more...

Apatheist: Mxm.

HBG?

If you were truly raped, tell your parents and get him arrested.

If you weren't, you are stewpid for thinking a rape tale is funny. Some innocent guys have done jail time cos one silly girl decided to cry wolf.

Hahahaha...

All hail hero Seun. Where's the thumbs up smiley when you need it?

ihedinobi2: Once a man has made his offer and been rejected, he really has no business sticking around any longer. That is not to say that women aren't worth the wait but the longer you wait the more you emasculate yourself. Nobody is immune to that. Whether physical symptoms come into play or not, it is unhealthy to stick around after you have been rejected.

I am one of those maybe weirdos who don't believe that marriage or relationship is the end. It's a means to an end, so if someone is unwilling to walk with you toward the end you desire, it is a waste of your life and passion and theirs too to stick around with them. For your health, for the health of the point of your existence, for their own health, let them go and move on.

I don't imagine it is easy. I have never found moving on easy. I broke up once and spent two years pining for the girl and hating her for leaving. I was a green kid back then though. But I eventually did move on. And even when I wasn't moving on I didn't move back.

There is a reason we're each here. That reason is what should govern our actions and forbearances. If you have things to do and someone you care about isn't planning on helping you get them done, why screw yourself up waiting? You leave things undone and in the end they may still never take on life with you. Romance is awesome in movies but you see, sunsets don't last forever. Mornings and chores and all that serious stuff wait at the end and if you sit pining, nothing gets done. Your life is sublimely wasted.

that part in boldface... Your next bottle of e-beer is on me

There's too much emphasis on relationship and marriage status, and less on what one achieves in them. I find wedding-obsessed girls annoying.

ihedinobi2: Just don't return his calls. Don't answer his messages as often as he sends them. Don't take him into your confidence and make excuses to escape being his own confidante when he starts talking. Refuse to hang out, find excuses as often as you can manage. Reject and return his gifts.

If he doesn't get the message, you might need a restraining order against him to drive it home.

A man gives the 'gift' when it ought not be given. A man breaks the rule and a man must pay!
*draws flaming valyrian steel longsword*

ujsizzle: Off topic.
What do you have to do to kill a man's hope?

a man would like to answer a woman's question, but a man would be unfair to a certain other (probably good) man

ideology: Lol, your Analogy,
So the guy feels the Lady is buying Time to Compare him with Other guys, walking away is The option he's left.

exactly bro. Everyone likes to think he's important enough to not be kept waiting (pardon my english if it's incorrect). Unless of course he believes the other person is important enough to keep him waiting.

ujsizzle: So Uj and Sizzle are both men, and the cashiers women, right?

B is longer and is likely to abandon ship.

......Cashier A has been working diligently and B has been posting his customers.

thanks. I mixed that up. So bad at multitasking.

You get the point. Most times, time is longer when there's no end in sight. When a guy is motivated, he can chase a girl for months, even years. When he loses hope however...

How long is too long? Even for me, I still don't know.

ujsizzle: So how long is too long anyway?

An underscore (_) I feel so incomplete now

oh... An underscore. See my whack memory. *hides face*

I'm not sure I can answer that question as patience levels differ for many reasons. Still... Consider this scenario.

Let's say time is a queue in a banking hall, and there are two queues.

At the time miss Uj and Miss Sizzle walked in together some 10 mins ago, queue A had 63 persons, and qeueue B had 32 persons. Uj joined the shorter queue B, while Sizzle joined queue A.

Back to the present... 10 mins later, Sizzle is the 49th person on queue A. Uj is still the 33rd person on queue B.

The reason? Cashier A has been diligently working. Cashier B has been absent, though he returns briefly to sweet-talk the customers into hanging on before grabbing something and disappearing again.

1) Technically, which queue is longer?
2) If neither is in a hurry to go anywhere, who is more likely to abandon her queue, miss Uj or miss Sizzle?

Kanwulia: Not at all. I never give what I can't receive. You knack me I SUPER KNACK YOU AND YA WALLET!

You wan toto, I wan MONEEEEEY.
Love is not necessary!
This is business!
I can love myself!
You sef love YASEF!

Who wan love African man?
I dey krrrrrrase?
That is like casting ya pearls to GRADE A SWINE!!!!

Tufiakwa!!!!

you are making sense jor. They just don't understand where you are coming from.

Love and life have their ecosystem with its food chain. We all have our roles and it's good to be proud of it (I guess)

We cannot all be the lion that eats the deer.
We cannot all be the deer that eats the grass and gets eaten by the lion.
We cannot all be the grass that gets eaten by the deer.

Some have to be the maggot that help the deer's corpse (or is it carcass?) decay faster, so the grass can grow better and feed more deers that would feed the lions.

#BeMaggotAndProud

ujsizzle: What if she didn't leave him outside for months?

You're very dramatic you know

our view of time and it's passage, is subjective, even if we all look at the same wall clock.

Someone's handle just lost some weight... I mean, a dash (-)

ujsizzle: Why do men always think maga and mugu?
There is the possibility all those while you bothered to be emotional and she wasn't reciprocating, she was trying to figure out where you fit in her life?
Then one morning she wakes up and you stop. The sweet, nice guy of the day before just disappears and in his place she's got someone who won't even open up about the slightest thing.
Pray if you were in her shoes, what would be your first thought? Will it far from thinking all that emotional blahblah was probably just player stuff and now you're totally in, he's reverted back to his old self?

We--both sexes--misunderstand ourselves a lot. And not making an attempt to see things through the others eyes just compounds it.
So you see, the insecurity exists for both male and female.

men do not always think maga/mugu. Ok, I lied, most men do. Alot. It's not always because of personal experience either. Gender-biased info, especially on the internet, is the culprit, methinks. Pretty much the same way many girls (even those who have never been in a relationship) believe guys only want their bodies and would always cheat.

We (male and female) usually do not try to understand the other sex personally, but tend to flow with the tide of gender stereotype. Herd mentality.

That said, many girls take too long to wonder where guys fit in their lives. The reason, I think, is rather selfish. She's weighing him against other guys to see which would be better for her (guys can be selfish too).

The guy is on the bench outside wondering if he'd ever come in. Hours in the cold turn to days and then to many months. The roses in his hands wilt, and finally he leaves, convinced he's wasting time. She realises she cannot hear anyone shivering outside the window anymore, and she peeps. She sees he's gone and feels disappointed and hurt because she has the right to.

Guys don't wear nice shoes, so girls don't bother trying to walk in them.

Most people tip Germany to win. More reason I believe Brazil would win the encounter.

delishpot: I could be cold towards you but it doesnt mean I am heartless and the fact that I am cold towards a person doesnt mean I want him dead.
Isnt this better than all those men that will ask her to abort the baby because they dont want any child now? I dont know her but better this than throw the child into a trash can or into a pit toilet or even smother it and burry without anyone knowing.

well said...

@comments here, funny how presumptuous people can get. Talking like they know the lady or the father of the baby or what truly happened.

ogbronx: Nice write-ups and basically true but let me add an observation here, lots of ladies are emotionally selfish. Men have emotional needs too. Most men stopped caring and being emotionally involved because in most relationships, it is not reciprocated.
Good relationship give mutual attention to feelings of the couple.
The guys here would agree with this that women are the reasons why men seem not to be emotional these days.
We men are born to be tough but gentle and caring to one person we really care about which usually turns disastrous when she let's you down. Many men have lost faith in women and the few who do are regarded as Mugu.

nice angle. You are right.

However, I think it's more than just a reaction to women's 'emotional selfishness.' Truth is, women generally show more emotional intelligence than men. They are better able to send and process received body language signals. It comes quite 'naturally' to them.

(At this point, the article attributes this to nurture, as against nature, maintaining that men grow up suppressing emotions cos of upbringing and society, while women are free to explore theirs. Whether it's nature or nurture, is a topic for another day)

It starts even from before a relationship starts. A girl sees a guy she likes, sends a torrent of 'come-get-me' signals, but he does nothing. The girl thinks he doesn't fancy her. Truth is, he probably just couldn't decode her greenlight.

Same with relationships. A girl wants to show how she feels, she uses non-verbal signs expecting him to get it. Her partner misses it, and she feels neglected or even unloved.

As a reaction, the guy feels she's making a mountain out of a mole hill, and withdraws to try to figure out within himself what's really wrong. She interprets his withdrawal as lack of interest in her, and at times mirrors him out of frustration.

They slowly drift apart. With time, another relationship licks the dust.

ideology: Thanks for being Objective,

See the last part of the write up Below

You have Also highlighted a Point, where a Lady will will feel ignored, Not actually Understanding what the guy is passing Through. The guy according to the writer is not Ignoring the Lady, but withdrawing to fix his Emotions.

During this Period, if the Lady is Not nurturing and fill up the gap, the relationship breaks away.
The writer also highlighted that the man during this people is usually mocked and being addressed as weak as seem

thanks for this bro. I didn't click the link cos of the way the op just broke off the whole thing.

The article explains what I've been trying to communicate to a female friend without success. I have a good mind of sharing the link with her, but... The posts on this thread have been disappointing. It's a mentally lazy generation. I'd likely still have to explain after she 'reads' it.

Well, I don't see what people are complaining about. I read it all and it does make sense. While it explains many scenarios (like why women are better at expressing and detecting emotions, and why many ladies feel ignored in their relationships), it doesn't apply to some, and the op wasn't even gracious enough to complete it.

Anacksunamun: Mondi, I apologise for my cuss words on you, not because you are female and all that, but because I know you are good person from your antecedents on here. I know you very well and know you are the cheerful type that doesn't cause chaos on threads. You only let your emotions get the better of you on this thread, one of the reasons I don't post on feministic threads - untamed emotions.

So I apologise. And take back all my insults on you. Have a great night.

awww... *sniff sniff*

The human race is in deeper shyte than people realise.

25 pages of e-war!

That awkward silence...

Odunharry: mencade5, ty-tymer, itbomb,normality, oahray, timpaker, oma4u ......i see una o...una get mauth

bros I hail

[quote author=uj_sizzle]It's always about sex huh [/quote]for some people yes.

Lol. Friendzone. Truth is everyone would like to get good things without having to work too hard for it. Most girls like it when you give them the world without having to give you anything in return. Same way many guys like sex without commitment.

Guys don wise up. If you want a girl, be straight forward. Tell her and let her tell you yes or no. If she can't answer, take it as a no and move on with your life. If you think you can melt her heart just by being a nice guy, OYO o. Girls full everywhere.

Being just friends with girls no bad sha. How many girls you wan date at a time? Just let them realise that they are not all that special, and don't spend on them.

Elxandre: No! Spain was super with their possession football!
Don't compare Argentina to 2010 Spain.

I just did. You are only saying this on hindsight. Let me refresh your memory. The majority thought Spain wouldn't get anywhere. The majority thought Spain boring. You can check up on 2010 review of Spanish matches from group stage to quarter finals. Same way you now underrate Argentina cos they aren't looking dangerous. The highest scoring teams hardly ever win the world cup.

Elxandre: No, they will be disgraced by Holland.
One strange thing about the world cup is, the best team always win the world cup.
You can win the UCL by luck, but not the world cup.

Argentina has been disappointing.

Spain was boring in 2010 to many too, began with a loss, and scored just one goal in most of their matches. People favoured high-scoring Germany to win the cup. They were supposed to disgrace Spain in their encounter. After Spain silenced them, viewers switched allegiance to Netherlands for the final. Of course Iniesta broke their hearts. Then they started respecting Spain.

You'd respect Argentina soon enough.

Guykhena: Are you from Mali?
Cus your monicker resembles a Malian

lmao. Nice retort!

[quote author=Okiki_Oluwa]But they won't win this cup.
If Germany win Brazil, they ll carry the cup.
I also v a feeling that Holland ll slaughter them in the Semi-Final.[/quote]you guys said the same about this match. Belgium was supposed to slaughter Argentina. What happened? Well, the Dutch have to get past Costa Rica first.

experimentist: You'll cry today bet it

if I do, it would be tears of joy, after another Argentina win and Messi's fifth Man of the match award.

experimentist: Look at dis one, Messi wey is going home tomorrow.. Wake up man..

Hope you have buckets nearby. You'd keep crying after every Argentina match.

ocephraim: Why haven't these Belgian bullies broken Messi's leg yet?

guy you have a very evil mind.