₦airaland Forum

Lubyna, RaggedyAnn... here's something to look at o

mylander:
Please advise.

I was in an employment of a bank until recently when my employment was terminated.

When I had the job, I took my family welfare as my priory. My wife and our only son were faring good, I always ensure we do not lack the basic necessities. Meanwhile, my wife did not have a job then. All the house upkeep expenses including the cost of running her postgraduate program were on me and I felt comfortable bearing the costs as the breadwinner of the family.

After I lost my job in the bank some month ago, my wife got an employment with the state govt. With her little income, she has been able to assist in bearing some expenses, even she pays for fuelling our car sometimes.

The drama has now started in the house and our marriage is on the verge of breaking up.

Any little issue, my wife will turn it to quarrel, different abuses. Funny enough, she would be referring to the financial supports she has been rendering in the house. This is a woman that did not work at all for 2 years and I was bearing all the expenses with pleasure. Now she had only supported me for about 4months now and she's is misbehaving.

To my surprise, my wife maintains a record in which she records every penny she spends in the house including food items and fuel. With this, she always ask me when will I pay him back.

At the instance of a simple argument/misunderstanding, my wife would be boasting of 'I paid for this, I paid for that....' 'If not for my support since you had problem at work......'

Please advise me, I am getting fed-up with the situation, my wife had changed totally.

I won't be quick to castigate the woman here, even though I admit she's being a bit too hard on you.
I've several questions for you: First, where's your savings all the while you were working? You could afford a car and sponsor your wife's PG studies, you should also have some decent savings. If you didn't save anything while you worked,then that's a big mistake. As a man, you ought to start planning for retirement/job loss from your first pay packet.
Secondly, who bought the car she's moaning about fuelling? Can you drive? Can't that car be engaged in some form of commercial transport activity by you? If it can't, then sell it to raise some capital.
Lastly, are you posturing towards remaining idle until you get another white collar job? If that's true, then your wife is giving your mind the right stimulus it needs to wake up.
Frankly, your case is even mild, you have some safety nets to keep you afloat somehow. What if she didn't get that state govt job? what if the car isn't there? Some men aren't lucky enough to have these....

Jetleeee:
O'loon loyo is just using the heads of ipob thugs to play tambourine lol This is the same ret.ard they used to heap praises on back then. They even gave her one potor name.

Just say the regular things potor clowns like to hear and watch a wankfest for free

Same thing Maazi Nnamiddiot, Fanny Kowerede, and Ponmodele Ponmoyose did.

For people that claim to be this and that to fall for someone as retar.ded as this shows you how fooked up their psyche is

Its really not hard to tell majority of these guys are gala and Fanyogo hawkers

No reason to get too incensed.... As a nation, we're edging closer and closer towards that point where every people would have to learn to survive on their God-given resources or ability. Whether it's kemi olunloyo or ipob thugs or whoever... Bad news for freeloaders. That should be a fair deal for everyone.

Okoroawusa:
re u through?
now go to the nearest gutter n lie down.

Lol.... stuff of genius.

Okoroawusa:
any one that did not read momodu's write up but had d time to comment is intellectually lazy,daft n lost.

And arriving at such hasty conclusion based on a microscopic observation on nairaland about people you don't know and haven't really interacted with, makes you a genius. Now, be happy!

Caseless:
eastern dogs won't read cos the article says it as it is and does not favor them.

Easy, Mr human being, we know you've read through everything, but one pertinent question on an issue that's causing so much heat these days: why do people of sw extraction get so incensed and pained about what other people want for themselves? Talking about a referendum, secession, resource control etc? I mean, what's in it for them?

AuroraB:
Get her another apartment indeed
That would limit any unholy alliance

Why be the one to secure an apartment for another man's sex buddy? I'm against men becoming too emotionally attached to women; OP knows he should call it quits, but emotional attachment to the 'fiancee' is making him look for reasons to hang in there. Brother, walk away from this emotional manipulation and abuse. Marriageable women plenty for 9ja; don't limit yourself.

Lubyna:
Sorry about my statement about you not being able to read. I didn't mean to be rude. That wasn't even my intention.

Women and men aren't the same. Men don't go into relationships for the same reasons as women and men certainly don't have the same needs or responsibilities as women. A guy dating a woman who is hardworking but broke, isn't the equivalent of a woman dating a guy who is broke. Men are conventionally, and I'd argue naturally the providers in a relationship. Women are naturally inclined to want their man to take the driving seat in the relationship, in all aspects. To put it plainly, women want men who can provide and take care of them. It doesn't mean she shouldn't strive to be financially successful, but this is the reality of relationships. On the other hand, no man goes into a relationship expecting his woman to take care of him. In fact, most men prefer to be more financially successful than their partners. I hope I have answered your question?

Don't bring me back to this. I have already explained what I meant. Yes. Being financially successful is indicative of intelligence. Intelligence is a broad them that admits of various definitions, but my definition of intelligence, which subsumes most of the definitions which you'd come across anywhere, is being able to utilize acquired knowledge in solving problems. And why are you fixating on Intelligence? There are other qualities I mentioned alongside intelligence that being wealthy is indicative of. Dino and Evans are intelligent people. Dino is a wealthy politician who has occupied various high level political posts in the past. You have to be intelligent to be able to do this. Evans was able to kidnap lots of people, gain profit from the act and remain hidden and undetected for many years. Only an intelligent person can achieve this. I am not in anyway justifying the morally reprehensible crimes of Evans and the bad things Dino Malaye has done in the past. I am just trying to answer your question about whether or not they are intelligent. When I say someone is financially successful, hardworking, ambitious and goal oriented, and wants someone who shares the same traits as she does, I am obviously not referring to people like Evans and Dino. The kind of women I categorically referred to in my OP certainly aren't concerned about just money. Money is a standard among other standards. Certainly this kind of woman would examine the past and present of her potential spouse. She'd date someone who she knows his source of income, and who she is certain this source of income is safe and won't jeopardize her life in the future. Obviously someone like Evans and yahoo boys don't fit this criteria. You are making it seem like all financially successful men are touts or kidnappers and all broke guys are morally upright.

I think the tone of the first paragraph here says: Men are created to be superior beings over women, and most women prefer a man to really show his superiority. Which is true. Bible account of creation points in that direction. But it's somehow strange to imagine that women go into rships looking to be cared for by the man, and at the same time, they're asking for gender equality.

ESDKING:
" If Igbos leave, the economy of SW will collapse"
Kemi: 2017.

In other words, she's desperately begging for unity because, she knows what will befall them after Igbos must have gone.
Afonjas are terrible.

Every day I ask, why do people of sw extraction get so tensed about issues bordering on secession and referendum?

MasterChen:
Y'all potor clowns better just "jejely" enjoy your thread before we pee on it. The thread has nothing to do with Yorubas and I wouldn't even have posted anything If you didn't mention Yoruba

Yorubas would be minding their business before you dummies call us out. And y'all expect us to watch

We don't give a fook about your agitations bar some idiotic trolls here . Let it be known

That's not true. Many people of sw extraction get really tensed about this secession or referendum thing. I keep wondering why.

sarrki:
Mazi and his criminal bandits will remove SS from his map if he sees this

You're too obsessed about issues bordering on petroleum or secession. Why?

eagleeye2:
The turn out will be definitely low. But election will go on that day and ballot will be collated and counted, and Result announced.
It's not a crime to sit at home on election day. But it will only give room for politicians to install whomever they like. And do not complain when things go wrong.

Things are already in their worst state in Nigeria

OrdercityWeb:
I laugh too. You want to successfully date a Nigerian girl better read this http://www.vanguardngr.com/2016/04/tips-dating-nigerian-woman/ THANK ME LATER!!
.
.
.
........

Utter rubbish!!!

Tell this trash to hushppupi who said no woman was at the beginning with him and so no woman should bother about enjoying his money now.
.
Tell this trash to Donjazzy, who knows who Nigerian women are and would never get married to any of them because he knows they are stvpid leeches.
.
Tell this trash to olamide, Davido and co who are rich and yet still don't have "one woman" in their lives.
This are made men who know Nigerian women are f00lish leeches. F00lish trash who would open their legs for the highest bidder so why stick with one when you can have hundreds at your beck and call.
.
Finally tell this trash to ladies who are at Shiloh every year praying for a husband. Tell them to stop praying for a man to approach them.
Please call LAWMA to clear this trash you put up

Maddest post ever! Kai

[quote author=patola080 post=57879216][/quote]Ur last line said it,bro. Women have a way of discarding or not recognizing the guys with the good intentions. Maybe because this set of men don't really put in a lot of effort in piecing together sweet-coated words. Many women are not discerning, they are attracted to deceit.

TINALETC3:
I hv ntin 2 say d fada bt my msg 2 d women out dere is dis:always learn 4rm Wat happened to odas , b very careful abt dat guy Dats telling u he luvs u b4 u open ur leg 4 hm, dnt bring an innocent child in2 dis world and end up making hm fatherless. A word is enof 4 d wise

Honestly, it's so pathetic to see people think the best and/or first way to exercise maturity is sexual activity. So many adults lacking discretion in our world. Such a vicious cycle

OliveCynosure:
E be like say the management of Unilorin no well at all... From 16k to 75k? I paid 17k last session faa, how would I pay 75k in final year

Relax, unilorin fees won't be hiked next session. Maybe after next session

Jesusloveyou:
I totally support the idea.because I hate to see any Igbo in national assembly

Jesus loves you. He can secure your future, no need for hate.

Ijaya123:
Bitter did you say?

I'm just appalled by the embarrassing foolery being display by the Ipob youths.

Or are you one of them?

Do you have anything against a call for selfdetermination? There's so much pain in your tone.

Federal might. But then, if possession of firearms is legalized for Nigerian adults, are we still going to be having such occurrences frequently?

Ijaya123:
The most gullible set of people I've encountered are the Ipob youths. So easy to brainwash and it is needless arguing with them. Absolute waste of time.

And the claim they are the smartest people on earth. Infact, so smart they bought Biafra passport with Nigerian money and intend to use the passport to travel through Nigerian airport to other parts of the world.

Can't you see how irredeemably gullible they are?

It is just a pity.

Are you bitter? Why? Do you stand to gain or lose anything by reason of selfdetermination for eastern Nigeria? Be happy to part ways with anyone who doesn't cherish your company... Na wa o. The obsession about this selfdetermination thing is too much- it's suspicious. And all these are lending credence to the cause. A level playing field for everyone is what I personally want, whatever brings it is welcomed by me.

Nazeren:
Rubbish. Marriage that'll still break. Mumu. Instead of him to marry a nigerian that will value him he went to marry a foreigner who doesn't value marriage.

Not all parts of Nigeria value marriage..

Oil money...

Lol ... wetin person go normally find waka go north sef? Na wa o.

Culin:
What is this? Tear them apart, limb by limb, then burn them.

Really? Is that your idea of a sane society?

what's wrong the mind of the average black man sef? why has the black man refused to be refined? My question is this: if arms become legalized, will uniform people be able to continue treating other members of the society in a shabby way?

Larmont:
Ogun state generates more Revenue than states in the East and like threw times.. Lol Wouldn't be surprised if they start saying We made Ogun.. We own 90% properties/investments like they always do and your states are languishing in poverty...

Nice. Then why has the subject of resource control been a controversial one since 1999? Again, I find it hard to believe that Bayelsa and Akwa-ibom states each have IGR lower than that of ogun state.... Maybe IGR isn't an accurate index for evaluating the contribution of a state to the country's economy. Or perhaps , proceeds from mining and exploration activities in a state isn't factored into the state's economic relevance?

Everyday I keep telling Nigerians I've come across that certificate ownership and/or ability to read and write is not equivalent to being educated. Education means refinement.

Petroleum proceeds. See why resource control or true federalism is vehemently resisted?

If this development will help get every part of the country to develop some sort of self belief, and support full resource control(true federalism) or self-determination, then it's okay.

Amberon:
I have always hated Nnamdi KANU for insulting and deriding Yoruba's even though I'm not Yoruba. But seeing as he has apologized I am highly impressed. Kudos to FFK and Fayose for showing love to Nnamdi Kanu. Indeed love is greater than hate.

I sincerely hope that Nigeria can break with the SS,SE and SW coming as one but Yoruba Muslims will be a stumbling block.

But what I've failed to understand in all these is: why are the SW people so scared of 'secession or self-determination'? Is it really true that they're not likely to survive as an independent nation/people?

sarahade:
Well the right thing is only the best thing to do

Ideally.

sarahade:
What is the point of story now we should not do the right thing. Mtcheeeeew Nonsense story

Means the right thing is not always the best thing to do.