₦airaland Forum

cedricksly:
just compliment of the season she replied?? Guy with this your insecurities u can get married, that's the hard truth.... He didn't tell the boy she loves him not discussed any private issue with him just compliment and she replied which is totally polite.... I sorry for anybody that will eventually marry you....

With ur mentality, you will become woman rapper, a servant in ur territory.

Bye

Anyway before you go,......only handful of my exes I can't get back to their pants, even the one I broke their hearts, if new guy doesn't man up to defend his territory, intruder (ex) will invade

Sanchez01:
Need I say more?

Bf or after has nothing to do with it.

A guy who left his girlfriend and go for another girl for marriage, yet the girl is still considering moving back to the ex, now when she meets
another serious guy, who had presented her to his parents, yet the girl still galvanating' with ex who broke her heart.

slawormiir:
Damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright....
Bros op ...wether you like it or not

Nobody...I repeat nobody can separate a boy from his ex or a girl from her ex....especially if the situation that led to their break up wasn't violent

Let me tell you a secret bros op...most marriage you see today are between ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend because they are actually the ones that knows you very well
Not to talk of the blood, tears and sweat they shared together
Most people are bound to their ex already till the end of time...

Because you are not TOTALLY in charge, I mean ABSOLUTELY in control of ur girl, most especially fiancee or wife.

Anybody, I mean anybody except family members.

JONSYN7154:
You see these words "my ex is not my enemy " has destroyed so many marriage and relationship.

Exes are biggest threat to every relationship and marriage, yes they are not your enemy but they are something one needs to avoid then if you two meets by chance then you can greet ,gist and walk away.

Many women with such mentality "my ex is not my enemy "therefore I want to go to his place and invite him to my wedding, from there" can I get a last hug?

That was how they ended up in bed, from ordinary hug it turned to kissing, this is how many married woman got pregnant for their exes.

Many will be saying that they are matured spiritually to handle such, but forgot what the Bible said in 1 Corinthians 10:12 ...

Men on the other hand usually have the same mentality too, she is just a friend this and that...they forgot most times we fall in love with someone you didn't intend falling in love with by simply spending time with them, it may start as casual friends ,colleague e.t. c by spending time together you start seeing the beautiful qualities of the person that you don't know, from there intimate feeling can start building up.

When you are in a relationship/marriage you should respect your spouse feelings, and stop all this "we are just friends.

Yes that you are married or in a relationship doesn't mean you aren't allowed to make friends but know your limits..

Have this in mind �
What a man doesn't want to eat he shouldn't take it close to his nose, because the nice aroma might be tempting to resist ��

Any lady that checks & chat her ex regularly, or who reply with.... Smile, missing you, love u, dear for every guys on social media, claiming that she doesn't mean it, but just courtesy . FEAR her.

(101%, they are cheats,in fact they are types who cheat without single atom of remorseful.)

those girls shouldn't consider for 'ordinary' relationship but banging, no wonder ex pushed her off and " latter come in and out in her life as pleases him. He had her remote permanently.

So many foolish guys, writing jargons that its being insecured, little wonder they bring bastards for them to father.

Sanchez01:
So because a lady is with you means she can't communicate or reply an ex? All these Boyz II Men sef.

The you read, where she said if she don't have option she will back to ex

Icedplane:
A girl that I was dating, took her to my parents and even met her people chatted with her ex who ditched her and married another girl. The other girl died and this ex wants her back.

She said if she see's someone else she would move ahead but if not she may consider him back. All these happened like 4 months before I met her.

Now I have introduced her to all my family and even met some of her family.

Sent her mum money for Christmas, she still has the guts to reply the guys compliment of the season even after I warned her months back and asked her to block the guy which she did.

What pains me was the new phone I bought for her was what she used.

Now she's begging my mum to beg me.
Am done

You are mad if a girl you wanted to marry ,PRESENTED to ur PEOPLE and yet don't have direct access+(PASSWORDs)+ to her social media accountS.


Not even a phone u bought for her

30yrs old guy connive with 20yrs old teenager, a whooping 10 yrs gap, to commit dirty atrocities
Some guys have definitely lost it all

Number one reason is security, of course fake security from bad boy.

No's 2, bad boy go directly to woman and tell them what they want, but for nice guy, they would be merry -go-round a point, women don't normally fall for such type

I have never seen a very poor spoke person like him b4, he ready to defend everything about Buhari, even a glaring undefendable. Don't knw how to dodge question, ready to put himself in trouble because of his slave master(what stop him to tell media that he couldn't ascertained the figure at that particular time).
He want to be relevant in this government at all costs

Power is intoxicating him like fermented palm wine.

I pray olisa metsu treatment won't knock ur door latter.

luminouz:
Wrong again!!!


These chicks will wake the peninsula up. I heard a story where the girls used champagne/chelsea dey gin to suck the flaccid dick when the guy was too tired to fuq. The diickk stood up and they ended up raping him to death. That's a healthy guy o...not to talk of a sick one.

Capital lie! Except if they injected or give him drug to swallow, after 1st or 2nd nothing they can do. The story itself is pure lie, just to get traffic

richiemcgold:
if buni had said 'strongmen', I would've thought he's referring to the cabals, but he specifically said 'a certain strong man'. I hope he's not the one I'm thinking.

Whc mean he himself fear the man and thr is absolute notting he can do to stop the strong man

Buni himself may be swept off by tsunami in 2023.

manos:
The problem is that you view life as a competition between your peers. But relationship is not a competition, It is a team sport.

As long as you are in a relationship you are team player.

View it as a relay race instead. you run your lap and pass the baton to your partner, your concern is not if your partner is running as fast as you are while you are running. You focus on your run and do your best while it is your turn. Then pass the baton to your partner and cheer them on to also do their best, the may fall but what matters is that they get up and keep running and moving forward, while you stand by and cheer them on.

Dating different from married oga, and on many occasions, women fall victims, if you dnt look bf u leap you shall regret it, wen the hand clock can't reversible again

manos:
I clearly mentioned that the guy in my experience was earning nothing when the cook married him. Infact let me add to it for clarity sake, so that you would be aware, he had no direction at the time, he started with teaching and kept on progressing till he became a professor, all the time being funded by his wife.

Also, The OP clearly mentioned that the guy in question has been trying and failing at different ventures which shows that he is not lazy, just that he has met some bad luck in life. We are quick to label people lazy and unproductive just like our president forgetting that in life despite all the hard work, the environment we find ourselves and luck is sometimes a factor. Someone who has not made it in life at 35, can not be labelled a failure except he chooses to give up. I can never call anyone who is still trying
new things and pursuing his or her dreams a failure. That guy has not chosen to give up that is why he is not shying away from getting married to her knowing fully well that she is in a better financial state than he is. With her little financial and emotional support he can do better.

If he tells himself (what 90% of nairaland is suggesting), that she is not in his league and that he should keep waiting for a breakthrough, it might come, but it might also not come.

Tell me, if you were drowning in an a ocean and calling for help and the only person who stretches her hand for help is a lady, would you say that because you are a man, who is supposed to be stonger therefore divinely ordained to save her and hence, you would reject the help and keep swimming indefinitely to your safety?

Oga let me tell you reality but may bitter, this life is a race, if you are the middle of the race, you have no time to waste if you want to catch up at the end, the girl in question had tried note than enof for the guy, since tins refused to turn its better to move on, time wait for nobody Mr man

JOACHINpedro:
You don't hoard babes this Era, they are meant for everyone.
No dy carry woman matter for head bro. Face your studies, cruise with brain and better your future.

You said it all, larger % of girls outside want fling, orientation of naija girls have completely changed from how it used to be.

I pity those who yet to married, because it would be a daunting task to get good and loyal get in (21st) social media century.

elijahtemitope:
Please guys, wanna know your view or experience if there is about dating or marrying a single mum...

The two negative about it...

During child upbringing ,you won't be able to discipline her kid(s) as you want, she would be thinking since he is not ur kids and this may backfire on ur kids even marriage.

2. You can't stop her not to see her ex hubby, if you are a jealous type, it may cause friction. Meanwhile this may also lead to infidelity on her part, woman heart can easily manipulate by ex

Chummynoni:
You are so wise. I dont know why people are saying d op should relocate, then if d same tin happens there, mayb he shud relocate again.lol. some said d op shud impregnate her, wich means they havent seen where men toast pregnant women. Some said he should pay her bride price, does that mean they dont toast married women?. Some said he should rent a flat, mayb they havent heard where a billionaire wife was kpanshed in her husband mansion.lol.
The sole responsibility lies with d lady here ,whether (married or not) whether in a self con or not. Woman wey go kpansh outside go kpansh no matter the luxuries you the husband provides.

Yes oooo, don't knw some people reasoning like me o and that you take note of comments.

Online comments show how average Nigeria reasoning, I biliv that is main reason Nigeria witnessing retrogression in every facet of lives.

Firstandonly:
good day house
I brought this here because this is one of the most active room, ok let go straight to the main issue. I finished my nysc 2018 and i meet my secondary school friend who owns a company, there is vacancy currently going on in his company and am thinking of applying. note that am working somewhere as a sale representative but i plan resigning next year because of how stressful my current job is.
so now i don't know if is just pride or not because my friend is someone i know everything about from is family, his Bleep up to all his girlfriend back then in secondary school an we do have some get together sometime and if i start working for him those closeness will have to cut off because he's now my boss.

Even ur younger brother, what stop you? Its man who brings money home that can raise shoulder up o.

I knw a guy, my friend, who work is junior to his brother in law, his younger sister's husband.

callmeRichie:
Was just thinking about it right now, do u think it's healthy and ideal to ask for ur partner's body count??

Most especially as a guy now (cuz babes literally don't give much fvck about it), is it ideal to ask for ur babe's body count??

A girl I dated then, wen I stylishly asked about her exes, she told me 3 aside me, I didn't say anything, (argue or confront ) with time everything unraveled to me(from her Facebook chat), she lost the number of body counts.

Only handful of girls will tell u exactly, not even social media generation.

Only 5% faithful to their bfs

Every fulani within and neighbor countries now sees Nigeria as conquered territory, and this can largely blame on Buhari body language.

Ishilove:
Why do I need his consent to build a property with my own money?

In fact husband and wife are no longer one but "many fleshes" who only have same purpose of having kids, after kids if fleshes scatter, I don't care!


I think I will start pity the feeling of school of taught who believed in banging girl and leave immediately.

manos:
@ O.P.

Start with what you have and turn your lemons to lemonade. A bird in hand is worth 10 in the bush. The problem I see here is that you are indecisive like most nigerian women and also suffering from poverty both mentally and physically. Else making your choice wouldn't be a problem at all. It is not how you start but the effort you put in it that matters. Focus on your own achievements and also help him where you can, it is not easy, but very achievable.

Yes we know that love can fade, same as money. But then again, it has been proven too many times that love is the best foundation for any relationship, as long as humanity is concerned.

A person who isn't suffering from poverty mentality would buckle up and double her hustle to create the life she wants for herself. She would never see her partners financial inability/ability as limiting her. If she is successfull, they both are.

You can trust that I know what I am saying, as I am speaking from my many experiences.

For example,
I know of a cook in a hotel (a lady), from a humble background who married her childhood friend, a final year student of education. They both started life with almost nothing practically living in a single room apartment.

Fastforward 5 years later she gets a contract from a client in her hotel to supply diesel and with her hotel experience she is able to penetrate most hotels and grows her biz with the help of her husband. Fastforward again, another 15 years later he is a professor (schooling
was funded by her biz) in a federal university and they have 4 kids together. The biz has crumbled now but the man who had no source of income initially is the backbone of the family today paying for the tuition of the last 2 children in foreign universities, while she (the lady in question) is trying to regain her feet.

There were challenges but they faced them squarely and made a beautiful future for themselves.
If this lady had listened to that aunty who said she should not be stupid, she might have still been there asking God for a financially stable man in her 40's. Whereas that her aunty that adviced her against marriage is still unmarried till date and still hoping for a financially stable man, in frustration, instead of turning her lemons to lemonade.

The other of her aunty who was advising her, got married to a domineering patriach, who is 15 years older than her and treats her like a piece of furniture but she would not mention that part when dishing out her unsolicited advice.

We are humans and we come preinstalled with brains for a reason, "to solve problems". If you focus your brain enough on solving your problem and face the initial pain rather than trying to run away anytime there is a challenge. Your problem will have to give way at some point.

Let me take you back to own story.

A lady who is cook married guy who marry final year student.

Final year student is still Young, at most under 30, even thou he was undergraduate, did u knw so many legitimate stuff, he was into that was bringing money? My friend" son bought Lexus car(legitimate income o) before he was posted to youth service.

Comparing it with 36 year old guy of ND older who refused to struggle to bring income but wholly depend of woman as his shield

I

Martinez39s:
That's females for you. Their dating/relationship game doesn't involve morality, rationality, love and remorse, instead it involves extreme selfishness, remorseless and brutal manipulations, their huge and childish egos, and perpetual justifications (rational or irrational, as long as it is what she wants to believe).

Immediately I meet a lady, I knw stuff she made of, just five mins talks is enough.

The selfish and manipulative among them, I love them die.

I will up my game, she must fall for my superior manipulation.

But for few that good, I will do my best.

brosom:
I nearly tried that shit with my then so-called girl friend but God saved me.

It happened that she was seeking for admission, while I was working and making money. I did literally everything for her right from the scratch, with my contact then she gained admission in to one of the prestigious school with lots of money, (u know 9ja way na). because I was busy with work and didn't have time to ask her when her matriculation would be which she supposed to have told me, meanwhile I've already bought presents, including an expensive phone because she was using a Nokia touch phone then which she didn't know I've already planned the whole thing without her knowledge. I was just being a good Bf and wanted to surprise her on that day of matric, but she didn't told me, I got to know from my cousin who also got admission in the same school the day of their matric. The matric was a day after my cousin called, I thought to myself maybe she was busy or might have forgotten, but in another thought its not possible for a girl not to know of the day of her matric. To kill my doubt I called her to know how she was, perhaps she would tell me, but she never did rather she was angry that I didn't call her sometime ago. to cut the story short, I didn't call her again and neither did she. I almost cried but thanks to my supervisor then who gave me a fatherly advice and said that I should forget her she didn't love me..

Las las after 2 yrs she called me from nowhere and started crying and begging me to forgive her and accept her back.. I laughed so had, she kept calling and calling for months until she was tired but left me a message. in her words she said to me:- WHO THE HELL DO U THINK U ARE?
That was also the day I realized that what bible said about women was all true, thus u have to caution wisely when dealing with them.

FEAR WOMEN!!!

The one I knew about

A mechanic guy has been spending lavishly for his girl even before she entered NCE , so after admission he carried on, when time comes for birthday, she called the guy and he sent money to prepare for the birthday, on the day of birthday, mechanic with his two friends traveled to sch to felicitate with celebrant, when they got there, mechanic and his friends were in the crowd as onlookers, while a student sat down beside celebrant as boyfriend, kissing and gisting as co- celebrant

Mechanic almost commit suicide, the embarrassment was talk of town that year.

Lesson to learn there: mechanics won't be able to match level that his gf (student) was that day in the midst of fellow students.

In the same vein, wen you upgrade lady more than urself , wen she attains higher level, she would see you as inferior.

emmaodet:
Please please please, stop this Love Love Love of a thing, it s kinda annoying.
How come it is only when a man is about to get cheated or manipulated doing a woman's bid that the Love card is always played.
How come this Love of a thing is one directional? always from man to woman in gifts, money, sponsoring etc.
If a woman doesn't want a man to complain about what he has done for the woman, then a woman should not collect anything from the man Because to whom much is given to, Much is expected.
Nothing is free in life, even in freetown.
That is why we do say it that do go out with a man you won't date or bang, don't eat is free food all in the name of date or take the phone gift. By doing all these, you have committed your self.
I understand that free things like food, phones, money are very hard to resist and easy to spend.
If we are talking about love, then how come tons upon tons of nigerian single ladies in US, canada, UK are not coming home to pick and thereby empowering the average nigerian man to abroad? why is it always men?
Why is it that a large percentage of working class women in nigeria can't pick and date struggling guys, sponsor them to school too and put them on monthly allowance just the way the male counterpart will gladly do? Abi dem forbid dem? i guess the Scam called Love always stops at the foot mat of gullible Men.
How come the so called working class women are not raising capital to give to struggling guys to start-up their live so that they can marry? I guess Love is not blind afterall

As rich as DJ cuppy n her dad are, she still running and messing herself around rich and famous dudes leaving broke guys to sort out their lives themselves.

emmaodet:
Please please please, stop this Love Love Love of a thing, it s kinda annoying.
How come it is only when a man is about to get cheated or manipulated doing a woman's bid that the Love card is always played.
How come this Love of a thing is one directional? always from man to woman in gifts, money, sponsoring etc.
If a woman doesn't want a man to complain about what he has done for the woman, then a woman should not collect anything from the man Because to whom much is given to, Much is expected.
Nothing is free in life, even in freetown.
That is why we do say it that do go out with a man you won't date or bang, don't eat is free food all in the name of date or take the phone gift. By doing all these, you have committed your self.
I understand that free things like food, phones, money are very hard to resist and easy to spend.
If we are talking about love, then how come tons upon tons of nigerian single ladies in US, canada, UK are not coming home to pick and thereby empowering the average nigerian man to abroad? why is it always men?
Why is it that a large percentage of working class women in nigeria can't pick and date struggling guys, sponsor them to school too and put them on monthly allowance just the way the male counterpart will gladly do? Abi dem forbid dem? i guess the Scam called Love always stops at the foot mat of gullible Men.
How come the so called working class women are not raising capital to give to struggling guys to start-up their live so that they can marry? I guess Love is not blind afterall

As rich as DJ cuppy & her dad are, she still running and messing herself around rich and famous dudes.

jumper524:
dude this are different scenario and different explanation.
if a man loves a woman, I don't think there's anything wrong in trying to make her better.
it's more like a husband going to buy his wife a special cloth for his promotion event.
he did it for himself "yes" but the wife also benefited.
she could have bluntly told him shes no going if she's not interested so the nigga can save his money..

you liked her and wanted to get her better, if she wasn't an adult, it's an excuse but in the case of an adult bro however you package it, the lady is no different from a yahoo boy.

When a scenario becomes trends, its a foolish man will involve in such scenario which will definitely bring 75% negative result.

A wise man will send such lady to part time school, WHR she goes from his house to attend weekend classes and come same day.

When a teenager finds him or herself among her peers, it takes grace for her not to involve in whatever her peers are doing, most especially wen nobody to checkmate her.

So many daughters of rich parents involved in olosho stuff, not necessary they lacked, but only to experience what their friends are doing.

Very very dangerous to send girl to conventional sch with intention to marry her.

Usually end in tears

tobechi74:
When one truly loves a flower, he does not pluck the flower from its stem. He does not transplant it to his own backyard. The soil condition may be different.The plant may die. Rather, he goes out of his way to water the plants and apply fertilizer. He derives joy by watching its beauty. He desires to improve its beauty. He is not threatened if others admires the flower. He has no interest of purchasing the flower.

When we genuinely love a person, we do not think of how to take advantage of the person for our own benefit. We do not intend to possess the person. Rather we think of how we can improve the other person’s life without depleting ourselves. . We give our partner freedom to be Authentic.

If you truely love her ,there is nothing wrong in assisting her. But when you demand gratitude from her in terms of sex or marriage. It is no longer done out of love.

If she decides not to get married to you
After receiving assistance from you, you have no reason to get angry. This is true love.

If you get angry that she did not marry you afterwards, then you were not really helping her. You were helping yourself. You were investing in her. It is a buisness transaction. Not all Investment blossom.

You and ur poem are complete off from the post sir.

1.Sponsoring a lady with INTENTION to marry her.

"Different from

2. Assisting a lady.

A decent guy can never, ever have peaceful relationship or marriage with a street girl, she has unshakable orientation for drinking, clubbing, partying, not minding body counts

No amount of caring, advice, money giving to her can changing her mentality, spirit on the street will surely pull her out from wherever you hide her.

Omihanifa:
Go and screen shot this my post for reference purposes

That neighbour of yours will later fork your wife it's just a matter of time

The more the two of them see each other everyday in that compound, the more the urge and attraction will grow

** The best thing for you to do is to PACK OUT or LET HER ENGAGE IN SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE THAT WILL BE MAKING HER TO LEAVE THE HOUSE EARLY AND COMING BACK IN THE EVENING

if all of the above options fails, sharply IMPREGNATE her ASAP

If he gets job for her and another guy also start disturbing her in working place, I guess she will resign too!

Your advice is highly myopic, yet so many likes, why our people have shallow mentality? OK if its btw 2 co - landlords, they will leave house or carry house because of randy neighbor!

If she really knw what she is doing, her bf won't even hear about it, from her actions and unfriendly facial looks alone, every urge gathered in his body will evaporate.

tylerboy1501:
I got plan but not now

If same thing reoccurs where u relocate to?