₦airaland Forum

[quote author=tylerboy1501 post=97084277]Good day fellas, I need your suggestion or idea on step to take.

My wife that stays with me at home, though I have not paid bride price yet, planning doing it next year by God grace just opened up to me today that our neighbor who stays in the same compound approached her when she went out to brush her teeth and started telling her that he will like to befriend her and that he heard when we were quarrelling at home, that I'm not supposed to santion her for whatever reason, that he loves her and sees her in his dream that he will like to friend her.

So she told him that he has someone already which he knew and she told him that if he didn't stop he will tell me, he now begged her not to let me be aware of it.

This incidence happened about a month ago, so I was surprised when she opened up to me today.
I was not happy at all. I need to take an action before it's out of hand.

Meanwhile we are only 2 Tennants living in the compound

Pls guys what do I do? [/quote

There was lady I was dating then, very very beautiful then, I knw how many different guys even in my different compounds I stayed then that disturbing her, she always tell me how they disturbing them, I didn't face or reported any, I told my girl then that she own herself and she knw what she wanted. shekena!


My advice, try not show serious concern about what she says in her present but be vigilant and monitoring both of them. Most especially their conversations from now,whenever you are there, (I am expecting ur girl either not to be greeting the guy or only to be throwing greeting at him).


But after a while if she reports the issue again, just repot the guy, either to ur landlord or anybody that stays around ur hood.

Champagnegold:
If you ask me nah who I go ask? But you sef know the answer already... I'm not sure of this issue of love today especially from the ladies' part. But I'm sure husbands are to love their wives and wives be submissive to your husband. That's the meaning of "He who find a wife have found a good thing and obtain favour from the Lord"( if this is basic in a union then the financial breakthrough is included in the favours).... What if he suddenly change his mind when you marry him and you can't bear his new attitudes also he can change when he becomes rich, Will you still advertise this "I love him" "he loves me". No! laying a foundation of sponsoring your own marriage to me is wrong u can't finish what you re about to start think about your unborn children. I see this as present day story of bestie(often they are the nonfinancial stable opposite sex paddy, female clinge to and claim it's love(unhidden sexual attraction) because of play and laziness to work inthe name of I need love, attention and care) don't worry when you marry you will know that even as a woman you don't have that much wasted time for play inthe name of love and attention.. infact all I see here is obsession/desperation at 30 you should know that you have wasted time in telemundo. If a 35yrs old don't hv a skill job then the devil is innocent in this case coz I'm sure serious minded guy came for you but it's either you were playing then for fun(as most do) or you were with Mr. Handsome(lust) if he chooses to leave you when u r 35yrs or so then you will settle for anything-goes.. learn from so called female celebrities...

Normally I don't trust a woman love or pretence character but I can value her submissive.

Remember you only know your lover when you let him/her go due to inevitable conditions. If fate says you are meant to be it will surely bring him/her back.

According to the divine Book I haven't seen where a woman-love. It's submit to the authority (ur head),
she builds her home, forget telemundo oo coz ur children will hold it against you.

You exposed every hidden things that hope dodged to include in her write ups.

She is crazing and dying for outlook, that was why she laid emphasis on " I love him in her post

All these infatuations will soon fly off, and quickly understand real definition of marriage.

Any guy who is not ready to hustle legit not deserve ordinary attention from girls not to talk of marriage.

If OP dears to marry the first guy, she will end in premium tears.

I knw outcome of few lazy guys who deceived lady with outlook.

It always lead to toxic relationship

Mrscarter:
Yeah I'm female n recently married

Pls take care of complete bills of house for just 3 months and come back and explain ur experience.

Hope Kaduna man won't have heart attack now.

Cc to

John Kayode Fayemi.

David Umahi.

xProfx:
Lol... Pity your life.

No man, it's not difficult to pay bills on this side so speak for yourself alone.

My mother married my father who didn't have a penny but was hardworking and intelligent, my dad is one of the richest engineers in the country today. This is why I don't believe in marrying for money alone. How can you say someone should marry just because of money when you're not an animal! Is that really how life works to you?

Abeg, change your mentality, you don't have to let hunger and fear determine your choices in life. Bye.

Your father one of richest? I seeeee

Instead of ranting and giving useless advice, dm OP to send her jobless guy for you to fix him na

Looking forward for the day op will come back online to appreciate ur good gesture o!

If not you are a confirmed bastard!!

Case close!!!

xProfx:
Lol the Internet is a very cheap place for anyone to blab these days.

You're not as fed as my driver. If you want a sample drop ur Instagram page so you can see the places I've been that you can't even imagine... My driver earns more than you. LoL.

Rudeboy song: everyone is rich guy on Instagram, I salute audio rich guy and his audio driver.

If you rich as you claimed, you will knw how difficult to foot bills, buy fuel, dstv bill, filling gas, sch fees, house rents, all these on woman with average income?

I pity the lady that will eventually marry you.

xProfx:
You're daft... you're simply daft that's why you've been throwing temper tantra. Nothing inside your brain. Abeg commot here!

It pains you to ur bone marrow, you are one of those lazy guys on nairaland that always come online to bash woman and condemn marriage, why wont you? Since every issues you guys are supposed to sort out before marriage you left them undone and expect miracle or woman to do it for you

xProfx:
You have a problem with comprehension. Go and read my post again and ask yourself if your response makes any sense.

I isolated a few points, real life points and asked the OP to consider it. If your mind is too limited to understand things, please stop quoting me. Thanks.

Get ur ass together and remove every mentality to hide under woman to feed you, wife is to support and not be main financier. Any contrary of opinion to tell lady who has charmed not get husband to go for complete jobless guy from very beginning of marriage is wicked and foolish...

Bye

Before I go, okada, barbing , bricklayers, private schools teacher are etc are all job that man gets income from.

Sit down at home and feeding from sweat of ur woman January to December is not hearable!

[quote author=jornwhite post=97116919]I don't have to read again, in life not everyone will find there feet on there own, for some it could be just family/ friends or spousal support that will launch them into wealth.
If the guy is trying buh things aint working, why not try together, two heads are better than one, some guys are like push n start ferrari, if you don't push some people ehn they will never move ... with the guys resume & age business is the way forward.
The guyz family is not a concern, the major concern here is to get the man on his feet ... so i ask again what is wrong in OP supporting him. helping a man to pay his bills won't take him forward why not invest in him n see how it goes.[/quo



I understand ur type, bye

jornwhite:
What is bad in her rendering support to a man she claims to love, or must help only flow from men to women.
Lets even assume the worst happen, he dupes her n run away, is it not better to lose money that to enter a one chance piece of marriage.
To secure the future we must take risk, no two ways about it.

Read the post again, she said she had/has been doing everything for the guy, in fact its the girl that stands as shield for the guy presently, because the guy comes from family where they don't help one another.

Teel012:
thanks, let her take what might be useful to her there and use.

Better.

Teel012:
Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?


nairaland is not a place to get good advice. look for older couples who have been married for over twenty years, at least, maybe in church or somewhere to talk to (never family members) neutral people that won't be biased. that being said,
1. your aunty who called you a fool, was her husband rich when they married? or is he very rich now? is she happy in her marriage?
2. majority of the people here telling you to marry a rich guy are not even in a relationship cos of that mentality, they jump from one guy to another. The moment you start looking for a rich man, you'll always meet one richer and finer than the last one.
3. if you're sure d guy loves you as much as you love him, support him to grow first before thinking of marriage. you know him better than anyone else, do what you can marriage and love are about helping each other develop first.
4. Lastly, only you can take that decision, so think deeply and ask from elders not people who become experts on relationships after dating 8 different guys/girls in a year.
Talk to him about the solution if you really want him and he wants you as much and then work together.
pls understand that I'm not saying you should not marry a rich guy Biko, but think deeply before deciding, cos we can't see the future, but we can create the future we want, not the present.

Ur advice is trash, go back and read the post again with rapt attention.

No where op says, her sister asked her to marry rich guy, financial stable guy not necessary rich person.

Its her family married members, that capable of telling her nothing but pure truth, because when things go south, she is coming to them for undeserved financial assistance and not church members.

If you urself read the post carefully, OP has confirmed that, her jobless guy's family are OYO(own your own) type.

Its only a foolish, wicked and inexperienced will advice a lady to marry complete jobless guy, except if the Lady has spiritual problems of getting husband.

Mrscarter:
If you truly love each other don't listen to what anyone else says. I would still marry him and work things out as U go together

Are u female and have you married?

dpassion8:
@ op I commend ur boldness coming out to share ur plights n being sincere with ur age. had u ever encountered such love from a guy in ur previous relationship sinc ur teenage age till ur late 20s .....d answer will give u d perfect advise ....listen 4get d ideology of marrying a rich guy... though I am not disputing d fact dat money is very necessary in marriage.... but.. I repeat.. but ask urself this very important question do I want to experience marriage life do I really wanna see my kids call me mummy... life is a mystery, just do things when its due.. age waits 4 no one.. God will definitely bless ur union I strongly belive in God.lastly marry who ur heart throbs for.. every other things will automatically fall in place cos God rewards all dat are hardworking of which u are, n I can vividly remember, u never called him lazy in ur post ...God neva built marriage on wealth as a foundation if not Eve would hv rejected Adam ....Wish u luck in which ever decision u take.... God is able.....

ND holder at 35 who refused to hustle but whole depends on girlfriend's money is a big lazy ass

She did say the other guy is rich ,but financial stable man.

Who told you if Op give chance for financial stable guy, that love won't come up.

If the yeye boyfriend, mistakenly gets money, he might change and become uncaring man, mind you op says she loves him, not that he don't have flaws ooo

Lover boy is behaving good & nice now, just cos he sees his maga fiancee as shield, if not he will die of malnutrition

That love will evaporate within second wen they finally married and only her foots bills.

ednut1:
Financially stable man can go broke and vice versa. At 30 do you still have much options I doubt

.you said vice versa? So better to go for financial stable .

xProfx:
Oga, there's nothing wrong with what I asked. Marrying with money as the only motivation is a very bad idea. A lot of financially stable people do go broke later in life and only love can sustain the marriage during those periods.

Forget about any Nollywood, this is reality. If you don't buy the idea kindly move on...

I think you are the one, aligning with nolywood stuff here, love can not push koboless marriage to anywhere, its either it grounded or scattered.

Someone who is working and got broke, can easily rise up again, far much more that indolent lazy ass from adam.

A guy of 35 with only ND cert refused to work since he clocks 27-35 now, forming handsome bobo with yeye love.

In fact, OP is her own bigger enemy, she refused to give space for financial stable guy in her heart, that is why she is not loving him, if she tenders her heart, provided the 2nd guy is a good guy, the love will come up less than a month.

Bye Bye to yeye Boyfriend oooo

Just imaging, naija guy wants to go for marriage without doing anything! Where is Africanism in you?

Feeding from sweat of ur wife from January to December?

willingheart:
How do I marry him when he has nothing to process the marriage?

If a respected and prominent man of God who might have seen all in marriages, can advice "Christian ladies not to marry jobless (not low incomers o).

Let go the way of Bible, a man who can't provide for his "nuclear family worst than infidels.

Its those who are in marriages that understand what marriage means, it comes with heavy responsibilities and it will be pilling up for sooooo many years to come before dropping.

There is different btw "I don't love him" and I deliberately locked my heart against him, because of handsome lazy guy.
God had created our heart to love who ever we want to love most especially female's hearts

If you already locked ur heart for jobless guy, maybe because of outlooks, it will be practically impossible to love anyone else, not until ur eyes clear after marriage.

From ur post, it is glaring that you are tired of carrying bills already, I imaging what will happen if bills double.

If its only because love issue and not other red flags.

I will advice you to delay marriage and try to open ur heart for him for love to grow.

Some said u should do low key marriage, even if its low, its man that is supposed to foot the bill, because he is the one who wants to marry you.

A jobless man has no business in whatever call marriage biko.

dominique:
As much as it's important to marry the one you love, money is very important in running a marriage especially when kids come in. All that love you have for each other will automatically fly out the window when bills start piling up and you start running into debt. Some people lack ambition, have zero hustling spirit and are very complacent. They just go with the flow. If your boyfriend is that kind of person, just free him except you're ok handling the family expenses when you get married.

Only few girls understand ur opinion before marriages, they only realised after marriages.

As we have street girls, we also have street guys, a decent person should run away from these type of people if he/she want peace in marriage.

Street guys or girls must surely go back to street

Evolutionlove:
This Is the only sensible thing I've seen you post since the creation of Adam......

Because senseless runs in ur family, look at ur dad is most stupid person from Creation.

Hassanmaye:
He will never try it na them go back screen they kneel down and beg women, do you think he can use sex doll? If only women know the power they have over men ...

No amount of masturbation, sex doll, can match having sex with girl, most especially the girl you love.

christopheojo:
Edo nor bi Lagos......we reject him absolutely we currently have a vegetable you want to bring in another vegetable, is forbidden.

Obaseki will open all his hands to welcome him, obaseki was imposed on you by oshiomole. Go back to history book and ask elder how it was unfolded wen u re still kid.

BigSarah:
Ok, clearly there's no door not opened to BAT... but I sincerely hope the door of 2023 presidency is closed for him, what Nigeria needs in 2023 is a competent monster. Not another incompetent monster (all politicians are monsters).

I expect you to lend ur voice on relationship issues! Pls expand ur tentacles on how to suck guys pockets dry rather than talking gibberish on political issues

Even, obaseki. Umahi. El rufai. Fayemi, will welcome him with their open hands in their respectively States.

Ginaz:
I pity the unfortunate woman who ends up marrying the op. With the mentality he's already having , it won't take a blind man to know he won't treat his wife with dignity and esteem.

Ladies should seriously pray that God give you the man with the right frame of mind and has a sound mind. Its very important cos the mentality of the average Nigerian male is appalling.

You begin to wonder if they ever have mothers or sisters. Why don't you get your fine house , money and cars pregnant then? Why need this same women who add nothing to your lives to get pregnant for you?

Na wa.

Average Nigeria man or average niraland urchins?

One things that every gender must knw is that, what belongs to street must surely go back to street.


A street guy or street girl is not compactible with non street ones,

If the two dear to married because of certain factors, outside compatibility, the relationship is heading to doom

samsard:
Just like this one does not concern your yam head abi?

Leave religion for those who cherished it, leave marriage for those who love, you air grow grey hairs ooo

samsard:
You're delusional. You guys are frauds on pulpits.

Why keep on taking panadol for someone headache, that your coconut head will soon explode for issue which you are less concern.

babakbb:
The female bashers are here again....

These women didn't beg you to propose marriage or relationship to them so leave them alone.

Everyday you guys come online and bash women but go behind and beg women for relationship and marriage, some sissy azz niggaz even go on their knees and propose to this women and post pre wedding pics online with their teeth wide open.

You are the one toasting and begging theses women and not the other way round, so they are the ones doing you a favor.

Something which is burden to them , yet they don't let go of it.

If women are your problems leave them for us who appreciate them.

The ways these guys believe they are wiser than God who created males and females to complement each other, is sickened

Perverted everywhere.

The moderators will be pushing irrelevances to the front page leaving so many informative and educative posts back page.


You guys should start leaving up to expectations, before nairaland completely hijack by urchins & nuisance.

The posts where we can't get real and positive opinions to make us understand one another, going into related are languishing off page, but you guys keep sending posts that make us go negative more about relationships and marriages, yet we want united community. How is it possible if man and women from same society are not in good term with one another

LINTUNE:
i tell u bro, if u ask them, they will tell u they never meant what they posted. but lets be frank, this behavior is more noticed in naive , immature gals, mostly within the age bracket of 17_21

Girls or ladies that are doing that, has tendency to cheat. If she hasn't started, she only use that for cover-up.

If you enter inbox of such ladies, you will surprise to ur bone marrow.

LINTUNE:
just had a breakup recently because of distance, we both stay arround lag and see eachother once in a while, but her place is really far from mine..told her plainly i cant continue like this, and the gal na under 20, ger childishness and mumuness is out of this world..abeg brothers if u want date,no try date gals u!under 21 o, lol those ones go de rub things for ya face like say u be mumu,i wont lie , have cheated on her many times, but na on code, but her own be say,no be say she de cheat o,but the way she go de praise her male friends for whatsapp status and all those shit, the thing go de vex me eh lol,...if na wise gal, she go do everything on code, not to rub it on my face...if me and she get any little misunderstanding, i go suffer am via whatsapp status...men im done with immature gals, love can never be enough..

Even girls of 25-28 do it too. How you be in serious relationship and be complementing every guys, my Darling , my sugar , love me

A guy who is not her boyfriend will write on girl profile that ,.....we will soon do our introduction or take this engagement ring..you are hot,...and for the girl to write smile, thanks, lovely.

How will the guy who is serious about the girl be comfortable?

Many of them don't understand social media.

In fact cheat on attention is even more than cheat cos of money these days.