₦airaland Forum

*sigh*, some men can only think with what's between their legs. Anyway, the wife is about to be filthy rich just like Tigers's wife.

The press ripped Tiger Woods and Ashley Cole to shred but now they are tip toeing around the situation, blaming the prostitute

Shittu was flirting between clubs in the championship (lower division) when he came up to the premier league with watford and they went back down Bolton need more squad players I think Gary Megson baught him but he was a squad player not a first team player because the times he had played he has been rubbish!!! with one year left they would probably compensate Shittu and ask him to leave due to the new 25 man rules

Friends ended in 2004, they broke up in 2005. Your chronology is shady. I'm sure Brad knew when he married Jen that she was not ready to have babies right away. They could have reached an amicable agreement or even broken up on those terms. He didn't have to cheat on his wife with his then co-star.

She told Brad no babies before the penultimate series started, thats when her earning went from $600k to $1m, am not saying its an excuse but but but it didnt look like a marriage to me, its like Cheryl Cole and Ashley cole

am not giving excuses, Jen sealed her faith when she choose her career ahead of family

if brad belongs to jen it will happen one day (if jen wants)

That boat has sailed


Brad wanted a family but jen was concentrating so hard on the sitcom series "Friends" that it got Brad thinking that it seems like his priority comes second behind her career, Well things kick oFF on the set of Mr and Mrs Smith

i have never stood next to enyeama or know his actual hieght but i dont think his is less than the average for his role. is he really that short? i imagine he is in the same range as pepe reina, victor valdez, et al.

Pepe Reina is way taller than Casillas and Valdez… both Casillas and Valdez goalie came out from both Madrid and Barcelona’s academy that’s why they stood by them… but Casillas has the agility… when you look at how Oliver Khan comes to punch out a crossing its like a monster is coming but Vincent hasn’t got the presence! And goal keeper are a specialist role that most clubs have them in abundance in their youth academy and they tend to have a longer career into the late 30’s that’s why clubs hardly change goalies unless if you are in demand or your crap

Orangemen, Soloqy, Ayowumie,

Na una i know say una dey talk sense for hia. Others just dey yan Opas!
@Omar, your comment is pointless! if dat should be d case, don't u know how many (1st team) players dat chelsea R goin to miss durin d ANC? Figure it out urself. (N dey'r even more important in dia clubs)
so long as EPL is concern, If dey'r to list 10 best keepers (Enyeama included), Eyeama must make d 1st 10 list. Enyeama is (by far) better dan some "whacky Cocky" goal keepers in EPL. @Edward said Enyeama is better dan Almunia, of which is true! Den how many goal keepers R left in EPL dat can beat Enyeama in d EPL best goal keepers 10 man list? Figure it out urselfs. Messi always find back of d net whenever he plays against Real madrid dat has 1 of d best goal keepers in d world (Casilas), buh with d 5star performance of Enyeama on dat day, denied messi a goal, is it by luck? NO! Daz what he's good at. To cut it short, @Ayowumie has said it all!!!    

Op, if Enyeama goes to a big club (as u think) n b'com's bench warmer over dia, i'm sure u'll be d 1st to make a topic about it! Mind u, Enyeama is currently benchin his fellow keepers in his club, y not bring up a topic about doz keepers he's benchin? y not ask d reason y dey'r always on d bench? y bring up a topic about Enyeama? If u have nottin doin, pls sign out n go to bed!

Why don’t you engage your brain first before you talk! Name me an African goalie at a top club in Europe? Why do you think arsenal fans have written off this season, because they don’t not have faith in both keepers they have, like Jose Mourinho said a good Goalie could gain you an extra 15 points… but not a short one now because of his height he would find it difficult to keep in the England?

Orangemen, Soloqy, Ayowumie,

Na una i know say una dey talk sense for hia. Others just dey yan Opas!
@Omar, your comment is pointless! if dat should be d case, don't u know how many (1st team) players dat chelsea R goin to miss durin d ANC? Figure it out urself. (N dey'r even more important in dia clubs)
so long as EPL is concern, If dey'r to list 10 best keepers (Enyeama included), Eyeama must make d 1st 10 list. Enyeama is (by far) better dan some "whacky Cocky" goal keepers in EPL. @Edward said Enyeama is better dan Almunia, of which is true! Den how many goal keepers R left in EPL dat can beat Enyeama in d EPL best goal keepers 10 man list? Figure it out urselfs. Messi always find back of d net whenever he plays against Real madrid dat has 1 of d best goal keepers in d world (Casilas), buh with d 5star performance of Enyeama on dat day, denied messi a goal, is it by luck? NO! Daz what he's good at. To cut it short, @Ayowumie has said it all!!!    

Op, if Enyeama goes to a big club (as u think) n b'com's bench warmer over dia, i'm sure u'll be d 1st to make a topic about it! Mind u, Enyeama is currently benchin his fellow keepers in his club, y not bring up a topic about doz keepers he's benchin? y not ask d reason y dey'r always on d bench? y bring up a topic about Enyeama? If u have nottin doin, pls sign out n go to bed!

Why don’t you engage your brain first before you talk! Name me an African goalie at a top club in Europe? Why do you think arsenal fans have written off this season, because they don’t not have faith in both keepers they have, like Jose Mourinho said a good Goalie could gain you an extra 15 points… but not a short one now because of his height he would find it difficult to keep in the England?

She took the woman's husband

Erm am sorry, but didnt Jennifer put Friends before family?

Atleast, he his playing champions league this year. Maybe a better club can sign him

Well we all saw it when Ike Shorunmu conceeded 6 goals at Leeds in the CL sometime ago, lets hope Vincent has a better outing

Well people need to be logical here, someone like Jose Mourinho would not sign the Nigerian goalie because he hasn’t got the frame and height as an average goal keeper, how he handles crosses would determine how long he would survive in the premier league or Bundesliga…. His concentration level could be a factor for him joining a team in Spain or Italy! But the most important here is that the most teams would not buy an African keeper because they are not like a striker or midfielder that you could sub during a game they settled and seeing them dashing off to the African Cup of nation for 6-8 weeks every 2 years could be distracting…. When Songo was at Deportivo he hardly showed up for Cameroun the same with Kameni most clubs wants a settled goalie, most especially during the business end of the season (after xmas)

We are talking about someone who racially assaulted an old Nigerian lady who worked as an assistance at a night club up in the northern part of England, She has a record (criminal) against her name Cheryl Tweed, but Cheryl only thinks about her self nothing else, I guess Cole is happy now that her and her mother is out of his life,

69’ – Okoro was the stand-out star for Nigeria at the U-17 World Cup last year in Nigeria.

I wonder why he stood out among the 16 years old

try to tell that to Cheryl Cole

@ceasyc

How much do you think the US or UK government give to those who loose a limp, arm or leg during the war?



10m 20m 30m

£8k for acting one movie, wow!!!!



John Mikel Obi gets £65k one week

how many women in Nigeria are richer than their husbands?

Wow!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, tell me you didn't say that?

We always use tribe to distance ourselves from negatives and claim positives.

I rest my case!!!!

Yes! The poster highlighted his Igbo origin and so what? Does that make him/ her tribalistic? Una no well o!

Would he/she have done the same if he was sent to jail for sexual abusing a young kid?

@Saga,

Then some equality craving nutter wants such law to be brought to Africa!!!!


Gone are the days when men are rushing into marriage,

In other news, that big polish producer that r@p3d a 13 year old girl nearly 30years ago has still not been brought to justice. He is still living the life, producing big hollywood movies and receiving oscars.

Roman Polanski

house? This is so shameful.

So just simply say a Nigeria is doing well in Hollywood is too hard to say but rather prefer a sentimental bloody ego statement "An Iboman" so what is the big deal.

I am an Ibo man I have said it number of time and will say it to eternity I will not and never be a party to all these sentimental, divisive, tribalistic, ego lifestyle so many of my people take as pride. The world we are living on is more to all these controversial characters and belief. We need a positive, progressive and dynamic thread in this house(Nairaland) not just a baseless statement that will ends up heating up the roof and pitch us against each other. God Bless

Spot on, you couldnt say it any better

yea dey can b racist at times but so many black celebs get off easy 2
oj simpson got off wella. according to chris rock: "she was letting her bf drive d car oj bought her, he was staying wit her in d hse dat oj was still paying mortgage on n she was getting alimony + child support from him. if i have a scrab n i c my ex wife's bf driving around town in it " chris went on 2 say: "am not saying he shud have killed her but i can understand"

What prove do you have that OJ Killed her? I believe he was tried and was found not guilty,

Now how come OJ get 33 years for taken what belongs to him, OK 33 years for stealing? how many years did Wimona Ryder get for stealing?

wotever man    "i said it i said it, it had 2 b said"
SHAME ON LAWLESS 9JA THAT TREATS WOMEN (OUR MOTHERS, SISTERS, DAUGHTERS, WIVES) LIKE 2ND OR 3RD CLASS CITIZENS. hissessssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Look I don’t mind Tiger compensating her for given up her career to be a full time mother, but for some silly law to come and prove to me that she deserve half of my wealth… I would rather burn it up than hand it over…

Ex-England player Ray Parlour had to pay his ex-wife £400000 or 25% of his earnings till the end of his football career WHY? She claimed that she helped his career… I was thinking so what did coaches do…

The guy that invented the black bag, went through a horrible divorce with his wife because he reduced her monthly allowance from £8k to £5k, she took offence and wanted half of his wealth! Why?

Around 1994 an Indian guy that won the national lottery (Approx £11m) but at that point was going through some difficult times with his wife, but his wife was advised that she could get half of the money. But they got married in India so he fled back to India before the wife could log a divorce proceeding.

The case of a sex attacker who went to jail and the wife divorced him, half way through his sentence during one of the days that they are allowed out into the public, he played the lottery and won the big one! Now what gives the wife the right to seek part of this new found fortune because that’s what she did….


Talking about Nigerians treating women as second class, tell me how does majority of women who are richer than their husband behave? Most especially when they own the house… they have the most horrible words to say to a man who is not as successful as them….

Quick question,


Would he be referred to as an Igbo man,  if he was a terrorist?


NO!!!!



We have a case of a “English people syndrome” the English people would refer a Scots man as British if he/she achieve something major but refer him/her Scottish if they do something bad… a mixed race person would be referred to as half-cast or mixed race if he/she achieve something great, but he/she steals or burgles a house they would refer that person as pure black……


Like I said the boy that was caught on the plane from Amsterdam to US was never referred to as an Hausa man but a Nigerian….

Once upon a time, when Baba (Obasanjo) was in office as the president, he got an invitation from the Queen to come for a visit to England . After all the banquets and carriage rides and what not, Baba finally got the quiet moment he has craved all day in order to have a one on one chat with her majesty. After the usual small talk, Baba quickly popped the question (no silly, not that question). He asked her what the secret to her success was. You know Nigerians, we think everything is a secret…the President’s health status is a secret, his whereabouts is a secret, reports of the various panels of enquiry set up by govt to investigate the causes of different crises around the country are kept secret, we even have secret registries in every government agency in d country. Maybe we are a secretive people, we love secrets.`

Anyway, back to our story. So Baba asked for the SECRET to d Queens’s success and she told him that she relies on her people a lot and therefore she makes certain that only the intelligent get to positions of authority.
She decided to show him exactly what she meant and so she phoned Tony Blair. "Now listen carefully, Mr. Obasanjo, I'm going to ask Mr. Blair a question to determine his intelligence.”

Queen: "Hello Mr. Blair, I have a question for you: your mother has a child, and your father has a child. This child is not your brother and is not your sister. Who is he?"
Tony Blair replied instantly, "It's ME your majesty!"
Queen: "Correct! Thank you and goodbye"
"You see Mr. Obasanjo?" said the Queen
"Yes”, he replied “and thanks a lot, I'll definitely be using that!"
Once back in Nigeria he decided that he has doubts about Mantu’s level of intelligence and he decided to test him. He arranged a meeting with him and asked him:

"Mantu I have a question for you; your mother and father have a child. The child is not your brother and is not your sister, who is he?."
Mantu thinks, and thinks………and thinks, and finally says, "Em, Mr. President, you must give me more time to think about it."
And Mr. Obasanjo gave him 2 weeks to come up with an answer. That afternoon, Mantu called a meeting of all his aides, advisers and assistants to discuss the question, but NOBODY knew the answer. So he decided to take it to the floor of the senate. After a heated debate the senate President thought it wise to clear out the gallery and go into a closed session as he believed the revelations that may result could be damaging to the family and reputation of the distinguished senator Mantu.
After about two hours of deliberations, the house decided to set up an ad hoc committee to look into the matter and report back to it in ten days. The committee was given the following terms of reference:

1. To come up with a complete family tree of the entire Mantu clan
2. To pay a courtesy call to the traditional ruler of Mantu’s village and the State Governor
3. To interview all living relatives of Senator Mantu
4. To determine if Sen. Mantu’s dad had any extramarital affairs
5. To determine the DNA composition of Sen. Mantu (in Germany of course or Saudi)

On completion of its assignment, the committee was to submit its report to the senate which will then pass it on to the Senate committee on special duties. This committee will then review the report of the ad hoc committee and come up with a draft “white paper” (whatever that means). This draft “white paper” will then be brought back to the senate and on approval will be passed on to the President through Senator Mantu.
The Ad-hoc committee then submitted its budget which of course was kept SECRET but included funds for;

a) The immediate purchase of Land Cruiser jeeps for each of the 12 members of the committee. The jeeps will be used to travel to Mantu’s village because as you know, Nigerian roads are bad and Mantu’s village is remote.
b) Air tickets (first class of course) and hotel accommodation in Jos for committee members and their numerous aides. They’ll stay at the Hill-station hotel and drive to Mantu’s village in the morning.
c) Air tickets (again first class) to Germany and back, and hotel accommodation (five star) for everybody.
d) Estacodes and hazard allowances
e) Logistics
f) Miscellaneous

Even though the budget was kept secret, you can easily come up with the figure by taking the actual estimate of the above list and multiply by ten. You’ll only run into problems when u get to the final two items (logistics & miscellaneous) , as these are usually added to cover for all the people that need to be “settled” in order to ensure that everything goes smoothly. Therefore the figures have the tendency of varying widely and so it can’t really be predicted.

Anyway, the money was released and the committee started its assignment in earnest. They finished within the time frame that was stipulated in their terms of reference and they prepared a voluminous report which was to be presented at the senate at plenary. But on the d-day when the chairman of the committee was about to make the presentation, a distinguished senator from the Southern part of the country raised a “point of order”. He argued that the committee was illegal because its composition was lopsided in favor of a certain region in the country. He pointed out that of the 12 members; seven were from the North and only five from the South. Not to be outdone, another Senator this time from the North raised a “point of order” on the “point of order” that was raised by the Senator from the South. He argued that since the committee’s assignment was primarily to investigate the lineage of Senator Mantu (who is from the North), they needed
senators who knew the terrain, who understood the culture of the people and their language.

More points of order followed and after a while the Senate President decided to put a stop to it by subjecting it to a voice vote.
And thus he announced, “All those in favor of the committee being considered legal and thus go ahead to present its report say “AYE””. And the house responded accordingly.
And then he asked again, “All those not in favor of the committee being considered legal and thus should not go ahead to present its report say “NAY””. And the house responded accordingly.

Unfortunately for Mantu, the “NAYs had it” and thus the report was never presented. Now Mantu has a really big problem, because the president is waiting for an answer and he has run out of time. So in one last effort, he decided to phone his very good friend Jerry Rawlings who had always sounded intelligent to Mantu and thus may have the answer to this really difficult question.
"Jerry, your mother and father have a child. The child is not your brother and is not your sister, who is he?."

Jerry answers immediately. "Hey, Mantu, It's me of course, you dumb Nigerian!"
Mantu couldn’t believe his luck and so he rushed to Aso Rock villa, his motorcade of five cars moving at top speed with sirens blaring. Ordinary Nigerians going about their normal businesses scampered out of the way. When they finally arrived their destination, Mantu literarily ran all the way to the President's office.

"Mr. President, Mr. President”, he called out, breathing heavily. “I know who he is”
Obasanjo: “Good, so tell me”
Mantu: “ it’s Jerry Rawlings Sir! In fact when he revealed the SECRET to me, I started to see the resemblance between us"

Obasanjo: "Jerry Rawlings ko, Jerry Gana ni. You are such a stupid senator. Olodo rakpata! I'll make sure you don’t return to office after this term. Stupid man, the correct answer is TONY BLAIR!"

And that’s how Mantu never returned to the Senate even though he supported the President’s third term agenda.


NB: This piece is satirical. The characters in it are fictional. Any similarities with real characters, events or places are mere coincidences.

I CANT WAIT 4 D DAY 9JA N AFRICA GO DEY DO DIVORCE LIKE WESTERN WORLD OR MARRIAGE GO BE 50 50 OR EQUALITY AMONST MEN + WOMEN. "i said it i said it, it had 2 b said"

Are you familiar with the phrase "WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER"

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