₦airaland Forum

allycat:
I found a microwave sterilizer bowl in a shop but most times I just put about 200mls of water in a bowl and turned my bottles upside down with the teats inside after washing. I then set it on the highest and microwaved for 5 minutes. I made a few holes in the cover of the bowl for steam to escape. I also used waterguard solution to soak them during the day. A small bottle costs N150 and lasts a long time if you follow the instructions. Always use tongs to remove them never your hands so you don't contaminate th clean bottles.
Then I cannot emphasize hand washing. Anybody including yourself must wash their hands before feeding your kids, don't just pass them to anybody to help you feed them. Same for anybody making their milk or food. That little act saves lives.

You're a real Professional Mummy

Please, what do I do about my 6+ month baby who's refusing to drink formula? We've changed her formulas (Gerber, Enfamil, FrisoGold) and still nothing. Her pediatrician and other doctors say she's fine, because she's hitting all her developmental milestones but she's a bit underweight (50th percentile and slightly lower). She will eat the most inappropriate foods (she just started hating Cerelac and most cereals but loves boiled potatoes, fried potato chips, garden eggs and frozen purees Apples n Bananas). She apparently prefers us feeding her from a finger than a spoon (becuase she will fight us tooth and nail to get that spoon for playing).

thelish:
Made up? u ain't see nothing yet.
Mine is worst. U dare not talk. She refused BCG. The battle is still on after 2yrs. That I disrespected her just becos she wanted to cut my baby's tummy with razor blade to apply some things

I seriously need to be thankful to God for my MiL and Mother, no crazy theories and backing down when I didn't want something...

tearoses:
Onegai you like flowers abi . . . lets talk jare
I guess you know your tea from your floribunda roses

YOU SEE HOW DEM DEY SPOIL OUR ECONOMY!! Has Hibiscus finished growing that you want to import Roses into we country??

Yeah I do. I'm not good with the different Roses though (I tried growing white ones here in Lagos and they won't take). But I love tropical flowers like Frangipani Plumeria, Ixora, Bougainvillea, Neroli, Bird of Paradise and Coxcombs (and they all grow locally). I wish I could get seeds from India, Malaysia and Hawaii for tropical flowers. I'd love to see florists sell bouquets and centre pieces using our local stuff.

I'm trying to identity this flower, I was told it's a Ginger flower but it looks different from the ones I have seen online. May I show you please?

Also, take a picture of your flowers, I suspect you're Orchid lover

damiso:
I love being occupied and can't cope with my only activities being just housework and childcare(and they are hardwork) however I won't deride those who dedicate themselves it it. I don't feel superior to them and i don't think they should feel superior to me.We are all just navigating this tricky world of being a parent as best as we both can.

Simples. Why start saying that one way is the best way to parent? But in Nigeria, the same person that will shout "oh my wife cannot be banker, too long hours" will also scream "oh my wife is at home constantly watching Telemundo". I mean, how many boutiques must we open?? The whole Nigeria has become Boutique-land because of not allowing people be free to make choices.

Now it's opening a creche/daycare centre that is in fashion, never mind that the wife you're pushing to do so may totally hate being around 20 screaming kids daily (and will give them cough syrup to shut it). Why not as a family agree to allow her work full-time or agree to allow her mind her home and be at peace with either decision?

bukatyne:
@Onegai:

I think you are mixing up who a SAHM mom is.

Going by your definition, Pastor Adeboye is a Stay @ home husband.

Nope. Volunteering is not a career option. If it was, there'd be training on it at a school. or voxational centre somewhere. It's something people decide to do for the good of their community.

See, I've met SAHMs who are improving their communities vastly (even doing things like basic Crossing guard for their local school), saving lives. Or developing a homeless shelter. And I've met career people who are doing the same. Neither is getting paid for it. Pastor Adeboye does get paid (all pastors do) for running a church. His church accountant gets paid for being a full-time church accountant. His choir members may not get paid and that's volunteering and last I checked, no-one wrote JAMB and filled in "RCCG choir member" as a course option (though seeing how people dey love their pastors here... )

I know a lady who used to volunteer at Motherless babies Maroko. Would you call her as having a job there because she went there to stay with the kids and keep them company daily? She wasn't getting paid for it. I know a lady who ran a small after school program in her house for her neighbours' kids (just come and read together rather than sit in front of a t.v. till parents get home). She wasn't getting paid for it. Is that considered a job now, will she be paying taxes for it?

Or do you assume I don't know what a WAHM is? I know several WAHMs and volunteering is not part of their calendar. Writing articles on the internet and submitting to a content site is a job. Because you get paid for it. Or do you work for free at your job?

Or is your definition of SAHM mean someone who sits at home and does absolutely nothing else or doesn't leave the house? The only women I know like that are some Northern women whom their husband's don't let them step out of their shanty homes.

(This is why I don't like speaking here... )

Mindfulness:
There is this modern day phenomenon called "helicopter parenting" and I believe that it makes many kids weird and socially awkward and I believe that it is also the result of over-protective parents who underestimate the importance of autonomy for a child's development.

Story. Helicopter Parenting has little to do with a Stay At Home Parent and more to do with parents with a sense of entitlement. Come to the island (Lagos), you'll see many of them. Babies not walking because nanny is carrying them, children who can't go to Balogun market and refuse to find out how unless driver takes them. Kids who can't make a decision. Half their parents are too busy "having it all" to actually realise "hey, maybe my 17 year old daughter shouldn't be having a curfew of 12 mid night and dating a 25 year old man".

And these lofty goals of Career this and that. Let's be real biko, how successful is your career? All the projects I talked about, if I execute even half, you'll be sitting in your offices reading about me.

Oh the irony.

I love Shonda Rhimes, to quote her "to be the most successful black television executive means that sometimes I can't get home to read my daughter a goodnight story".

If you want a career, go for it. If you want to stay at home, go for it. Neither should demonize the other.

@Mindfulness, shall I tell you what I wanted to do with my time at home?

I wanted to start a free public library, right here in Lagos. A recreational centre, open to anyone who can pay a token fee of N500 maximum. A horticultural place, where city kids and anyone can come and relax and learn about plants and flowers and Nature, absolutely free. A charity targeting new mothers, supplying them with essentials like diapers, formula, nursing pillows, lactation support and clothes.

Those goals will impact Society more than me working a full-time job. I won't have the time to do any of that if I'm working.

I'm not executing any of them anymore because I don't want to take time off work and help everyone else whilst my home burns down. And Nigerians are an ungrateful lot, they will ask me "who send u" unsympathetically when I'm sacrificing my time and effort to better society rather than earn a paycheck and my husband takes it out on me.

One of my sisters told me "some of the greatest ideas happened in your downtimes of Life". Majority of the women who are celebrated didn't make their names in an office, some were Oprah and some were Jessica Alba's The Honest Company (started because she couldn't find organic, synthetic chemical-free products for her baby. Now a million dollar company).

No-one will be there to support my decision to stay home or help me defend it to my husband. So all the people my philanthropy would have impacted, have to wait till whenever i can settle myself to help others. We are a selfish people. We deserve what we have.

We all have our parts to play. Some of us should be working and others can stay at home. But my issue is that it's not an option for the average Nigerian woman. For a country that beats its chest about Family Values, our behaviour doesn't reward people who put family fast (let a man said he turned down a job in another state to be with his family, see insults that will trail him. Let a woman say she gave up a nice job to stay home with her kids, hear the mocking comments).

There's nothing wrong with having a career or staying at home. I just wish it were easier for us to take either option. But here we are (shrug)

cococandy:
Tenk you.

I see those women as really courageous and brave to hand over their entire lives to a husband like that knowing that any money he makes is 'his money' the house is 'his house' and you are tenant who can't be kicked out as if you were picked from the gutter. See people say "kick her out of your house" as if a grown woman isn't supposed to have something that belongs to her.
One can have a little peace of mind to be a SAHM here because you're protected to an extent if he starts behaving anyhow.

In the U.K. there was a divorce case between a man and his SAHM. When he complained about having to give her anything since she hadn't "contributed", the judge (a man) asked them to tabulate how much childcare, feeding and transportation costs for each child that he had saved whilst she stayed. home and did that. Then he awarded the wife every penny of it. The amount was more than what the wife had initially asked for.

Miami11:
You are always so on point, bless your heart
I'm stay at home now too, I took my son to a daycare next day I found a daycare worker dragging a toddler by the arms, your guess is as good as mine I took my baby back home immediately never ever to go back to daycare
I'm married to a wonderful man and I have access to all funds, my mom is coming to stay with us, so I for sure will be running back to work because my kids are in trustworthy care.
Sometimes as women we make the ultimate sacrifice, nobody want to ever be in this position.

It's heartbreaking to read all these threads threatening females in marriage, when I know the average Nigerian woman endures so much (my bee's foreign gf and a conservative friend of hers were arguing about stuff. I showed them Nairaland Family section and they were silenced into horror. She had to query my brother in anxiety about his beliefs). Nigerian women endure so much and yet most of them will swear on a bible that they have the perfect marriage.

Who truly wants to miss out the smiles and little moments with her child? Who doesn't run mad being left alone for days with same child? Who doesn't want the luxury of choice between both worlds of Career and Family? Bu nowhere else do I see this "I must work after children" sentence said with such desperation and determination in the eyes of the speaker than in our society.

You can't have it all 50-50.

glossy6:
A woman put to bed recently and her mum in law used omo to bath the babies for some days. She said it will prevent them from having body odour.

She also uses a combination of starch, pap (ogi) and salt on the umbilical cord.

Lastly, she gives the babies a mixture of boiled roots and that gin in small green bottle to drink.

Please lets know if this the practice in some cultures. And how safe is omo, salt and the gin.

Or is this meant for the medical section

You might want to tell her to inform the MiL that Omugwo has ended, let her go home. Just for the sake of those babies' survival and good health.

Just reading this. post made me shiver in fear... Please say you made it up

Personal choice. I'm at home right now with a baby, but now that she's 6 months, I've started putting out feelers to connect back to work. It's not really the money per se (we're doing okay) but I would like to keep busy and work on some projects of mine.

I know a lot of people say you can balance work and family, yeah but it's hard and one must suffer for the other (no-one is gonna pay you N500, 000 monthly and not demand your time at work). I heard of a lawyer who came home nightly to see her child tucked in bed for 2 days and on the 3rd, hubby locked the gates that morning. Child had been sick for the past 2 days but Nanny had been taking care of it and mum came home too tired to check. So all she would do was ask Nanny and Dad "is baby okay? " and peek into his room. Her husband got mad at the 3rd day and said she wouldn't leave the house till she ascertained for herself how her child was doing.

I've seen far too many parents chasing money to care for their kids. Here's the truth, in Nigeria you need money for healthcare but that's it. There's a price point for all other things (schooling, extracurricular etc). Those parents aren't chasing money for their kids, they're chasing money for themselves.

Nigeria is a tough place and it has taken the gentleness and kindness out of most Nigerians. I know so many well-educated couples abroad who the wife is now Suzy-Homemaker by choice and they're delighted but their counterparts in Nigeria would never dream of being a SAHM (because menfolk here will show her pepper). I'm not trying to bash, it's just the reality of what we saw our mothers go through: helpless to stop anything or any decision by any male in their family, powerless when he died because his family swooped in and they watched their kids become tenants in their father's house, begging for school fees.

One of my cousins tried being a SAHM, the day her husband decided to take a marital squabble to the next level, kicked his car and travelled to another state, leaving wife, 2 kids and entire household penniless and having to call her siblings to loan her N5, 000 to feed everyone, she wept in humiliation and swore that she was never going to do this again. Now sometimes she's too busy to be there 100% for her children and her husband dare not complain (he's very remorseful now that he's reaping the bitter fruit of an immature decision).

Go to the New Mothers thread in Health section, it seems almost weekly someone comes begging for help and advice on how to raise funds and do business and it's not that money is tight, it's usually that the man in their lives are using the fact that they have no financial standing to deal. with them (imagine having to submit a list and dutifully stand by someone's chair, whilst he childishly ignores you and watches tv. All because you want to buy diapers for your child).

Do I want to be a SAHM? Mostly. But I'm married to a Nigerian man and whilst he seems decent, trustworthy and loving, I'm too afraid to risk it. Too many horror stories and experiences.

The reason I always roll my eyes at all these threads preaching at women is that, if people were really serious about fixing Marriage, they'd talk to men. I'm yet to see how fixing any organizations starts from the followers (wife and children), not from the leaders (husband). But here we are.

Please can this be moved to the front page, people need to know this. Lalasticlala (I hope I spelt that right, are you female by any chance? )

Sorry but I don't buy Goya Olive oil, I think it's one of the most faked items on the market (even internationally there's a large fake Olive oil scam). Most of it is Canola oil or sunflower oil diluted with some Olive oil.

Hafsat24:
Hello mamas.. Hope we all are fine.. God bless our bundles of joy..
I'm a new mum..a first timer..son is 3weeks old..and im worried..my neighbour won't let me be..says my baby is too skinny and doesn't seem to be gaining weight..truth is my mum just left 2days ago..so I just began to bathe and do everything on my own..I did notice he's lean..but taller..he was 3.5kg at birth..he's got really strong bones and I practically wrestle with him when bathing(I don't mean that literally though )

He sucks a lot too..my worry is that is it possible he's not getting enough BM..I've tried expressing with my hands..the bm doesn't gush like tap like some people say.. ..it trickles..is there anything I can take to increase my breast milk production..I'm not a fan of pap.. ..please help a worried first timer..

P.S..I have tried using the search button above..didn't yield anything..perhaps I dunno how to type my Q in..
Sorry for the long tory

Pele. Eat well, as in nutritious meals and breastfeed constantly. Will post some links

OP you missed this one.

No. 3 was a "Nought-Nine-Nought" number

Pidggin:
Catholic schools are the best! If you want your kids to be disciplined send them to Catholics Schools, stop paying millions on school fees.

Loyola Jesuit, St. Saviour's and Presentation are not cheap still.

Alimzo:
Believe me the first thing that came to my mind was to immediately report her, but by being misunderstood, I meant that me being there is already a burden on then now I take on the role of perfect uncle, it a little strange to me, left to me I'll sieze her phone for a while but can't do that cos I didn't get it for her, there's this uncertainty that's surrounding my stay don't want to add to it, my best bet now is to call the mum, talk to her and and plead with her to wait till am gone before she takes her action, the hubby can be inconsiderate at times.

You are worried that he may eject you out of the house. It's clear. I'm saddened by the whole thing: a girl is exposing her mind to something polluting, she could act on it and start sleeping around and subjecting herself to nasty behaviour. But the adults are more concerned about their welfare. Rather than nipping it in the bud, you want her mum to wait until you've left the house. Meanwhile the girl can easily think to herself "uncle won't tell because he's scared of Daddy" and before you know it, a few years later we will be listening to another Sugarbelly gist of underage girl enacting very adult videos with men. Or maybe you won't speak up when you find her sending nude selfies to a boy because her father may need to forward your C. V. for a job then and we wouldn't want to cause "uncertainty" in your future now, would we...

If you're so worried that the husband is inconsiderate and you don't wish to "offend" anyone, don't tell her mum, just let her be and if she eventually starts acting out what she sees in those videos, hey at least, you still have a roof over your head whilst you go about your business. Thats the important thing, right

Doing the right thing when it doesn't pay you is what makes you a good person, not doing the right thing when it's convenient for you.

I am not a fan of prophets, 90% of them are charlatans who know how to read people and then give a "prophecy" based on that. I have had experience with it.

OP, since you both attend church, take him to your pastor and his wife. Let him explain the prophecy that was told to him to them and let the situation be thrashed out. Everyone should speak their minds. And he refuses, and keeps acting bizarre, tell him that he is being manipulated by someone very clever who wants to benefit from him being out of his stable environment (that's how most "prophets" work, destabilize you and bring you closer to them then start siphoning your money and talents into enriching themselves). And if he does anything, absolutely anything to jeopardize your health or that of your children, LEAVE.

He said you're using his 6 year old to mock him and that his prophet told him that everyone would question his sanity, my dear, he's being manipulated cleanly and brainwashed by a duplicitous animal masquerading as a "prophet".

How will your position be misunderstood? Are you more concerned about your comfort than a teenager's future well-being? Call both her parents and inform them of what you saw, telling them that you didn't think it was your place to discipline her or keep the issue from them.

cococandy:
i did o. Let me go find the paperwork. So you can pay me in dollars.

My lawyers will be contacting your lawyers shortly

cococandy:
Hey I have copyright to that line @ bold
Pay me

Did you file copyright documents at the Nigerian Association of copyrights protections? If not, I owe you on N0.50k!

Send me your account details so I can give you your kobo

PresVA:
My dear, it still happens ooo.. my roommate during my nysc told me women from their side (urhobo, Delta) serve their husbands food kneeling down. .

Na them sabi..

HIAN!! Forreals?? Papa Baby E just said it's true o! Abeg make I curtsey for Le Hubbs o, I want to go to Antigua or Maldives for holiday this year

I think I've heard of it in traditional Ijebu culture (at least my hopeless sister deployed it when she found out how much her FiL was worth and her hubby yabbed her that she should stop doing eye service )

thorpido:
She's supposed to kneel there and hold the tray while the man eats.


Did your uncle complain?Better collect the small change they want to give you and leave their house.

But why is it that people who are holding cap in their hands for favour always want to lord it over others? It's like the more humble your station in life is, the more you feel the need to stand on top of someone's head so you can feel better about yourself. Truly King of the Lions in Ajegunle mentality.

I have a feeling this OP was fuming inwardly that the piece of meat in the meal his uncle's wife gave him was not "befitting", so he also noticed her "disrespect" as well.

Any chance of Marigold in Nigeria? And can you process oil from it, is it the same breed (Calendula)? Thanks.

glossy6:
Requirements:
1. Egg of a vulture
2. Blind man excrement
3. Native fowl
4. Red cloth
5. 6 native eggs
6. He goat (nkpi)

Bring them to my shrine by 2.00am and I will remove the spell from his eyes fiaam . ibaboo

YOU SEE YASELF!!

Instead of you to specify that it is white native fowl and 6 native eggs of an Agama lizard, that is needed for the spell to work. All these modern day Juju priests, in my time they were trained better! Take ya time o

If you get a cold-press oil extraction machine, some dark coloured bottles and some good product made carefully, I assure you there's a market in Lagos waiting for this. Google Maracuja oil and remember to make your product high quality (your client base will test it). Also look at getting passionfuit essential oil. There's a market for these things and you can enter it. Read blogs and look up the Natural based skincare and healthcare companies in Nigeria.

Hotstepper:
I believe these banks have websites. Why don't u look there and find their kids packages and what it entails

I'm looking for personal opinions, not what the bank tells me. I'd like to hear from those of us who have made this decision and if they are happy with their choice.

adaphik:
Hello mums, pls can u recommend a good baby wash /soap & lotion/oil product? Was using Johnson but just finished n I don't want to use it again. (Pls treat as urgent.) Thx.

For all mums, can we please try and use the Search function on NL? It's a good way to find already hashed out topics because people may not wish to reply you and rather than feel ignored, try that first. If the answers it pulls up are not satisfying, then post I know this question has been answered a lot here and I don't want us to ignore anyone so please try the Search, look up "Johnsons baby wash other brands" for example.

adaphik:
Hello mums, pls can u recommend a good baby wash /soap & lotion/oil product? Was using Johnson but just finished n I don't want to use it again. (Pls treat as urgent.) Thx.

For all mums, can we please try and use the Search function on NL? It's a good way to find already hashed out topics because people may not wish to reply you and rather than feel ignored, try that first. If the answers it pulls up are not satisfying, then post I know this question has been answered a lot here and I don't want us to ignore anyone so please try the Search, look up "good baby wash health" for example.

It's a very poor meal, as it has very little nutritional value. Almost everything there is processed and low in all the good stuff a child needs for healthy development. One of the sugary snacks should be exchanged for a fruit or a fruit pudding. The noodles has nothing to offer unless one adds vegetables and shredded chicken/beef/fish to it. The sweetened yoghurt should be exchanged for unsweetened (add fruit to it as well). And a flask of water.

Thanks for the replies. Please keep them. coming, have to make a decision next week. Also, for your accounts, can you pay cheques into them directly?

Newmum15:
Pls mums I need your help.My soon to be 6 months old doesn't like water.He was exclusively breast fed but I've been giving him cereal(I forced 4 to 5 spoons down his throat) he refused to take water.Now that I want to start giving him mashed potatoes and other semi solids,he would definitely need water,pls can I mix ribena with his water?That will be sweet and I'm guessing he might take it.He would be 6 months next Monday

This is a decision you have to take but personally I wouldn't recommend processed drinks for now (and avoid as much as possible). It's full of processed sugars that don't absorb so well and why not try natural sugars? I don't know many doctors or nurses who would give a 6 month old Ribena. Why not try a sweet fruit and mix with water? Oranges right now are not sweet (not their season) but there's something your child likes (watermelon, pineapple, Apple, carrot), you just have to find it. That's just my opinion though.

Good eating habits are hard to establish and all these processed stuff are convenient but come at a price. And we don't fully understand it yet but the people who invented most of them are now endorsing a more organic lifestyle. Food for thought.